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July 25, 2005, 6:43 am CDT

lost

hi, I am feeling so lost.  My brother was aressted six months ago because of drug use.  I felt like I should try to support him because if he knew someone cared he would want to get better.  Unfortunatly, after six months of being clean and just two weeks before his sentence date he was able to get drugs in the jail and he used them.  I felt so down.  My mother made excuses for him that he had a terrible child hood and didn't get along with our dad.  I lived through the same expereince and I have worked hard to better myself I told her he is 28 and he needs to take resbonsibility for himself that did not go over so well.  My mother didn't go and visit him while he was in jail because she said it was too much for her.  She has a drinking problem herself and is always depressed.  My father went every week despite it being a two hour drive and then he could only visit for an half an hour.  Our famliy dealt with this same problem as I grew up.  My father was arrested for drug use when I was 8 and spent a year in prison.  He continued to have problems after he was out but recently he has taken control of his live and is doing better.  I feel lost because I do not know if I should continue to support my brother I still love him but should I go visit him?  I was suppose to go to his sentencing but I decided not to.  What could I say now, he needs help but drugs are the most imoprtant thing to him.  I am unsure how to handle this I am afraid I may make things worse than I already have.   
 
July 26, 2005, 11:12 am CDT

support

It is nice to see others who are dealing with the same issue although I would wish this on no one.  It is difficult because outside of my family no one knows what is going on.  I have to go to work each day and smile while I want to scream and  cry.  My husband is great he supports me.  It  is hard to know what is the right thing to do when you love the person but I do not want my life destroyed by the process.  How much and how long should support be giving.
 
July 18, 2007, 4:25 pm CDT

good news

Quote From: kinsong

hi, I am feeling so lost.  My brother was aressted six months ago because of drug use.  I felt like I should try to support him because if he knew someone cared he would want to get better.  Unfortunatly, after six months of being clean and just two weeks before his sentence date he was able to get drugs in the jail and he used them.  I felt so down.  My mother made excuses for him that he had a terrible child hood and didn't get along with our dad.  I lived through the same expereince and I have worked hard to better myself I told her he is 28 and he needs to take resbonsibility for himself that did not go over so well.  My mother didn't go and visit him while he was in jail because she said it was too much for her.  She has a drinking problem herself and is always depressed.  My father went every week despite it being a two hour drive and then he could only visit for an half an hour.  Our famliy dealt with this same problem as I grew up.  My father was arrested for drug use when I was 8 and spent a year in prison.  He continued to have problems after he was out but recently he has taken control of his live and is doing better.  I feel lost because I do not know if I should continue to support my brother I still love him but should I go visit him?  I was suppose to go to his sentencing but I decided not to.  What could I say now, he needs help but drugs are the most imoprtant thing to him.  I am unsure how to handle this I am afraid I may make things worse than I already have.   
An update:  My brother is in recovery and changing his life.  He is coming to live with me and leave his old life behind.  He understand's this is a lifetime committment to recovery.
 

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