Messages By: momakababe

Wow you've a pretty low opinion of the "average" person or your peers. Actually this is exactly the point Dr. Phil was trying to make. You're having trouble fitting in with your peers & don't have a clear picture of them.  Perhaps had you been intergrated with others your same age you'd have a better understanding of what & who they are and a better opinion of them. Then you'd understand that it isn't just about "makeup, boys and extended telephone conversations". I mean if you haven't been in and around your peers you're basing your opinions on people you really don't know & what you're seeing on television.  Having extremely smart students intergrated with kids who aren't at their level helps to pull the others up higher. I had the validvictorian in from of me at homeroom all 4 years of high school and we learned so much from one another I could write books on it. And yes socially he took away a LOT from me. He's now out in silicone Valley and doing extremely well despite him having to attend high school with the rest of us lower level people.  

There are many programs and ways to challenge a persons mind without pushing them into a place they may not be ready for emotionally or making what is their talent make them look "odd". My son attended many of the summer gifted programs at the same time as attending high school and of course is in honors classes.  

You asked if this is when girls are socialized to make 60 cents for every dollar a man makes & so I'm curious to know if you believe pushing a girl to college before she's emotionally ready to be there is going to have her making the same wage as a man. I mean you're smart so you must know the different in wages made isn't attitude, or ability, but their GENDER. Going to college earlier will not change that. I also found your post rather insulting to anyone considered "average" & I think that was another point about this girl knowing her IQ & how high it is. While we want to make a child understand their unique and talented etc. we wouldn't want her/him to look at people who are "average" to be beneath her either & you do seem to look your nose down at those not on your same intellectual level. I found your description of anyone that isn't of your intellect to be insulting & rude & these are the very social skills many parents worry about. That's what those lenghtly telephone calls teens have help to teach. When we lack social skills people often don't want to be around us & it can make for a very lonely and sad life. As a parent I of course want my sons to do well with academics but I also want to make sure they have the social skills needed so they don't end up out casts in society and/or in a lonely place in life.  

As far as your daughter I'm not sure how old she is or even how old you are but I must caution you that you wouldn't want to put expectations on her that she is unable to reach. Just because a parent has a talent does not always mean their child will have the same talent. She may just not have the ability to skip high school all together & while it may be frivolus I'm not sure I would not have wanted to miss my homecoming dances & proms. We can challenge ourselves & look to be high achievers but we can not get back missed experiences or our youth. There's more to life than academics and work to make us happy.  

Kim,   

You're a riot!  Great web site BTW & what a great warning.  I really went there because I wanted to be able to see a better pic of you because I wasn't sure if I was seeing you well enough in this picture here.  I did get a glimpse of you over there & so now I can say with certainty that you look SO much better now.   What ever you've done you have taken years off yourself from those original pictures on Dr.Phil.   

Now with all that said I have to just tell you that I really did get a hoot out of your web site & the revenge you've gotten but you know just enjoying & living your life & it being as great as it is is revenge for your ex.  It's true what Dr. Phil said & while you're web site is great I hope at some point you can put this behind you because you don't want to let it turn to a bitterness that will eat at you & make you ill.   

Well once again a big thumbs up to you honey & on behalf of all the women who googled him & found out the truth etc. let me say "thanks for the warning & sparing them the heart ach".   

Police do get a bad rap very often and I have to say that in my life police officers have done nothing but help & come to my aid when I needed them.  We often hear of the corrupt & so of course that's what everyone takes away that cops are corrupt etc.  I'm in the NYC/NJ area & the images of the crisis really does strike a cord with us.  There are many law enforcement officers as well as fire fighters & utility workers who ran to be part of the call to aid down there.  We remember well how people from down there came to our aid & yes you're right they are all proud to be able to return help.  People here were really touched by the out pouring during & after 9/11 & it had created such a feeling of unity that when this hurricane hit & there was a call for those up here it was like people up here couldn't help &/or get there fast enough.   

I'm glad to hear your husband found some inspiration in the show today & please relay that many are watching, know what a cop really risks & sacrafises & we're SO grateful to them all!  You're all in our thoughts & prayers.  

Where did I say in my post that I do not believe in prayer?  Where did it say that I don't believe in prayer in public & that I think it should be a moment of silence instead?  Where did I say that I don't believe in the power of prayer.  You're putting words in my mouth & you don't even know me.  In fact I think you meant to direct this post at the person I was answering and I think in her post she'd made a statment & she's left out a word.  I believe she said "the power of prayer never amazes me" & I believe she MEANT "the power of prayer never CEASES to amaze me".  Because I believe she was mentioning using prayer as a first defense for depression.  I agreed with her and I STILL do.  I went on to mention what helps me with my SAD or my seasonal disorder.     

It sounds to me like it's YOU that's filled with anger & hate & perhaps you should be praying for yourself for understanding, kindness & some empathy for your fellow man.  This is a time of crisis and having empathy to me would mean cutting people some slack right now when they make a typo on a bulliten board & not using it as a platform for your political &/or religious beliefs.     

As a mother watching this show & then seeing all the posters here in shock & horror of this womans behavior & then to see you defend her or relate in a way where you are justifying her (&your behavior) it means you're in troube too.  Not only are you in trouble but so are your KIDS.  While everyone is sitting here wondering why the father didn't truely come to the rescue of his daughters (frankly I thought he was at a loss of what to do) you're wondering why he didn't come to the rescue of his wife?!  I'm a mom too & I understand how difficult it can be when we're raising kids & they don't always do the right thing & they don't always listen & they can have selective hearing, but they're not doing this to be mean to mom & mom doesn't need protection.  They're the kids & SHE'S the adult.  If she needs a time out then she should be grown up enough to realize it & take it period.  She shouldn't be waiting for anything.  When you said "look who's left behind" I thought you were going to say "the kids" but you're still seeing the mother in need.  The kids have been traumatized by this woman & yes he's walking away because that's how he DOES CONTROL himself.  That was his time out he gave himself.  An adult has to recognize it & then take it.  & in reality what I heard him say was "I can not deal with *you* right now".  He was not speaking of the situation with the kids he was talking about dealing with his wife's her of control anger.  With that said it wasn't her that was left with the kids & cleaning it was the KIDS that were left with HER & the CLEANING.  You didn't see that?  

I watched this father kooooo to his daughter to pry her out of a closet where she was sitting hyperventilating & then proceeding to toss her cookies & you think it isn't her complete fault or that she has no control?  Certainly she does but first she has to see she's got a problem & if your view is this distorted I believe you've got to see this too.  If social services are at your house perhaps it's a distorted view that prevents you from seeing that it isn't just because of a "lack of money & such"  Unless the such is you screaming & brow beating the kids.  I think what you need is to RUN not walk to the first therapist you can find & help sort out your problems.  If it's not really a anger management problem then you'll at least have someone to talk out what's on your mind.   & all that stuff about you protecting your kids from society I do understand, but if you're verbally & emotionally abusing them they need protection from you!    

I don't believe there is anyone who is perfect & in reality we've all done things that aren't right & without maybe even realizing it hurt someone.  But when we have that (as Oprah calls it) light bulb moment & we "realize" that's when it's really up to us to make a choice.  Frankly I believe "seeing it" & admitting it is the first step because then you know you have to do something & so you've already begun to "own it".   

I remember years ago my husband & I had made one of those steps up to a new house.  It was so much BIGGER than my prvious house & I wanted it to of course look "just perfect" but it was a real job with twin boys who were 3 yrs. old.  My sons were well behaved for the most part & I never went anywhere were I didn't get compliments on how well they behaved & listened so this wasn't a problem but of course as kids will do they made messes etc.  In the new house it was so hard to keep up & I guess with out realizing it I was always yelling after the move.  I was so angry one afternoon because I'd been cleaning all day & they'd pulled toys out all over & etc. etc. & so I was telling them what I thought when my son said to me "Mommy why do you always yell at us now?  I love you & it makes me feel bad you're mad at us".   Well here he was this little guy pleading with me to explain to him in a way I would have prior to this house what was up & what was happening.  I told him "You know what?  I think your mom is just a little too serious about this house looking perfect & I think I'm just turning into a huge crab apple.  See even adults make mistakes & I'm really sorry honey.  Lets go play outside in the snow."  & it was a light bulb moment where I realized when I die I don't really care what is said about my house keeping, but I do care about what my kids & family will remember when they think of how I loved & treated them.  

See even us adults make mistakes & kids need to see that we do & what a *sincere* apology is & how we rectify our mistakes.  Good for you for taking the action you are.  You'll teach them so much more than you'll ever know.   

Now you can see from Dr. Phil's reaction & everyone else here that you've got some real problems & you need to see a professional.  I understand if you're dealing with the residule effects of abuse from your own childhood that you may be raging but you're an adult now & you've got choices & options.  The kids DO NOT.  How can you feel more sorry for this mother than the kids who are sitting ducks?  You said "you don't know what that kind of anger is like" but her kids do though don't they?  Or they know what it's like to have it lavished on them.  Is that what you do too?  Do you feel more empathy for yourself than your kids?  

The best part of this show is that all those that come here feeling as you do & being abusive to their kids can see & then do something about it.  You're an adult you can DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.