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At 18 I wanted to move and live with my "boyfriend", our parents said if we loved eachother enough to live together then we should love enough to get married!  We did and were married 7 years and had 2 beautiful girls.  Long story short, I wasn't a very good mom then, he is NOW not a very good dad.   

I now have an 18 year old daughter seeing a young man who we don't care much for!  He is a felon, he drinks, has been in 3 wrecks in 6 months (one with my daughter in the car).  I DO NOT want them getting married and pray every day for her to see the light!  I am not rude or hateful, I am also not accomodating to their visits and time together!  They have to figure that out since neither have a car!  I DO pick him up for dr. visits as he is and always will be the dad to her baby!  I am FAIR or try to be but their safety and well being always come first!  They talk on the ohone til it drives me nuts, their plan is to "BE TOGETHER" but they will do it ON THEIR OWN and I hope it takes a while and hope the relationship doesn't last but he will always be the dad and I will always respect that! 

In a perfect world, we hope he grows up!  We offered him the opportunity to live here, drive our truck and get a good job we had the ability to arrange - he turned us down!  That's all we can do! 

COMING BACK -  

I read often and post never but I couldn't let this one go! 

First and foremost, I send a special thanks for helping others, especially children any and every way you can!  Toys for Tots is an excellent program and I applaud any who participate and contribute!

On, the Christmas note from the woman with a 5 year old!  It is VERY SAD that you have that attitude and though I am not sure what took you to that point, I think several things could make it better...........  First and foremost remembering the true meaning of Christ - mas may lighten the load or burden, second the fact that your child is five must keep you somewhat spirited, third, it doesn't take much money to make a 5 year old happy.  5.00 at the Dollar Tree would buy 5 things you chose from love and bought with sacrifice. 

As far as the give aways to the audience, I think that is pretty cool but often my thought is if they can afford to get to the Dr. Phil or another show like it, they can probably afford the give away gifts anyway.  Not to take away from the generosity, that is nice!

Third, for us Christmas has been an evolution -- my mom always had such big Christmas' that we always had high expectations and demands really.  Now that we are married and off on our own with kids, she has had to slow way down and more importantly we will never come close!  We focus on the FAMILY and the TRUE meaning of CHRISTMAS, there are 9 of us in the house and extended family close and we just cannot do what we dream or imagine...........  So, we get what is needed for us (21-'21-19-1'-16-16-5-48-37) and maybe a want if able and call it GOOD!  My husband saves 40 hours of vacation to cash in on the 15th and whatever that check is is what we have to spend on the 9 of us and about 15 others with grandparents, etc.... and when its gone - ITS GONE!  The check is usually around 500.00!!!!!!!!!!!!  I shop cheap (10.00 jeans, etc..)

We're happy and not broke or in debt, the kids are happy, the true meaning is the most important,, and though we'd love to be able to do more - IT WORKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks for listening!

Dena

Norman, OK