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April 26, 2006, 6:59 pm PDT
You missed the point!
Quote From: witchySorry, but I don't think it is superficial for someone to want their mate to remain healthy and attractive to them. Certainly I am not talking about if someone is in an accident or has a medical condition. I am talking about people (women AND men) who get married and then let themselves go. I have seen so many women who, after their husbands leave them for more attractive women, get themselves to the gym and on a diet to make themselves more attractive in the dating world, and to catch their next husband. Why didn't they do that to remain attractive to their current spouse? Besides the attraction issue, obesity is linked to all sorts of health issues, and limits a person's physical abilities and stamina. Don't they want to stay healthy and active to watch their children and grandchildren grow up, and have the physical ability to play with them and go places with them? I want to have a healthy, active life after my husband retires, and that can't happen if I am obese. I am disappointed that Dr. Phil continues to stress that you should love your spouse no matter what they look like or how much they let themselves go, and doesn't focus instead on the health issues. There are some people who are sexually attracted to obese people, but most are not. This is a well-known fact, and the reason single people tend to take better care of themselves to catch a mate. I have been married for 23 years, and it is important to me for my husband to be proud to take me out in public and introduce me to his co-workers. And it is important to me to stay healthy and fit to live a long, active, fun life with him. We also know that we love each other, and if some tragedy were to happen to disable or disfigure one of us, we would stay together. But most obesity can be avoided. The formula is simple -- less calories in, more calories out. So, get to the doctor to rule out physical causes (also check for diabetes, high cholesterol, and high blood pressure), then throw out the donuts and take a walk! The first couple Carl and Michelle...Carl her husband was attracted to Michelle for her legs! He didnt say for her health....Dr. Phil is right you love a person for who they are. There could always be an obsessed person that even though you feel your in good shape is still critical of not being up to their idea of standards whether its legs, arms, buttocks, etc.....the people holding their spouse to their own personal standards should focus ONLY on themselves and quit trying to tell their spouse how to be like them. Love is not about being in the best shape you can be in....its about another human being and just because your married does not give you the right to demean your partner even if YOU think they could be healthier in which in this case the guy wasnt focused on health. When one partner starts making demands even in the name of health...THAT IS AN UNHEALTHY thing to force. You can as a partner incourage but NOT demand.
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