Messages By: toshinshi

Quote From: cuteboi21

Well I dont know where to begin really. This is my first message.  I am 21 and 2 weeks after my 19th bday my dad had enough with my so called chosen lifestyle. So, the christian counseling didnt work out the way he wanted, so he took my house key and my new car at the time away from me thinking  that would chage my feelings and make me straight.  OMG Well little did he know that I had another thing coming. I am doing better . I still have my moments. Holidays are pretty tough. My first Christmas ...not getting nothing at all...just a card basically telling me im going to hell doesnt sound to loving if you aske me....and not a thing for my bday was even harder. I just never thought that something like this would ever happen to me.  Dad and I have not talked in 2 years.  Mom isnt thrilled but she tells me that it would have been different if she had some say so in what to do with my sexuality. My brother that is 25 is not having anything to do with me either. A month after coming out, my brother says he is called by god to preach!!  How ironic is that. So fake lol. The family just laughs about it still to this day.  I would love to here from anyone out there ...their story or if they have anything to ask me or commits about my little life story.      One thing i have learned....sometimes in order to gain something. you have to lose something

Quote From: gebham

i think if ure feeling this way then yeh talk to someone definately. It couldnt hurt just to chat to someone who can understand wat your going through. Once you've spoken to someone for some time and talked out all of how your feeling, then its bound to be much clearer in your head what you want. After all, surgery is a big step and couldnt hurt just to chat to someone first. If at the end of talking etc you still feel the same way then its definately upto you what you should do. If you feel that it is the way you will be happy in life then you should, with the support of your friends if not family, go for what you feel is best. At the end of the day, if anatomically you can only be happy as male then you've got to take that chance. Its a long life to waste. Can you see yourself living till 80 as a woman and living a fulfilled life?
 As for your parents, i think only you can answer that. If the support from your parents would help you through what will be a difficult time, then i would suggest trying to talk to them. After all, you are their daughter, and it might take time to get used to, but they would deep down want you to be happy, no matter how they react.  

I'd say dont worry so much about everyone else, you should focus on yourself right now, and make a decision which could be the most important one you ever make. Its your time! :) 

 Sorry, a bit rambly and i dont really know what im talking about, but hey...theres my two pence worth :) hehe. 

G x 

Quote From: gebham

Hi, just wanted to say again i think its incredibly...dont think brave it the right word....strong maybe better?..i think its incredibly strong of you to want to wear a tux to your prom. I think ure inspiring as a human being to be honest, the fact that you want to be yourself and arent prepared to conform to wat others may want you to do...especially when the others may be your parents.  

 I still find myself conforming a little to wat my parents want from me. Im completely out to them but i still do things so they dont feel uncomfortable. for example; it was there 25t wedding anniversary and i pretended to be 'friends' with my girlfriend so they wouldnt feel uncomfortable around their friends. If i were single i wouldnt have a prob not mentioning my sexuality, its not all of who i am, but the fact that ive been with my partner a yr and a bit, i really felt like i was being disrespectful to her, and to hurt her is beyond the last thing i would ever do.  

Its still a bit difficult around my parents. 

  

Any advice?
G x 

Quote From: jenn_1785

I'm wondering if that other person who you're replying to made a choice to be straight. I'm straight. I dont recall thinking to myself one day "should i be gay or straight?" I hate when people try to say that "it's a choice"....that's so ignorant. They need to come out of their little bubble and look at the world around them. The bible doesnt say "love one another....except the gays..."

Quote From: fabala

I admire your friend a lot for being himself. One of my lesbian friends pretends to like boys that I like in front of the rest of my friends so that people won't know, and I've pleaded with her to just stop lying about who she likes, but she feels that people will judge her. Sometimes I wonder why there aren't more openminded people in the world...I mean, what IS so different between a homosexual friend and a hetero? Their sexual orientation, perhaps, but why is that so important? Sure, a girl might not get to go out with her friend who's a homosexual guy, but you can still confide, trust and have fun with that friend. Religion doesn't influence me, of course, as I'm nearly an Athiest, but I find it ridiculous that anyone could believe that their Gods would deny love. Heck, the Bible displays things like sex and incest a hundred times over, and people ignore those...so why are they making such a big deal about same-sex couples?

Because they're afraid.

That's right. Because they're afraid of what they don't understand. Because they're afraid of change and difference. Fear is the only possible explanation for people being so strongly against it. But aren't some people rascist? We still respect African American people. Sometimes it is necessary to ignore some people's views in order to make things fair for everyone. It's a way of life.

Quote From: gebham

heya, sorry just wanted to ask by the way if your on msn and if you minded me adding you? :) Upto you. No probs if not.
Gem xx

Quote From: gebham

well said. hey if you feel like joining in the debate in the current new forum under 'gay marriage' all feel free. 

Its getting quite heated at the moment.