Messages By: shermissen

The situation you describe has many issues. I also have a sister who is almost 5 years older, and she has always been a higher achiever then me, not that I didn't try!! Now that we are older, I can see that the reasons she is such a high achiever has alot to do with her being the oldest child, she never wanted to "fail" my parents, she was always trying to make others happy, yet she never got the reaction she wanted, she found that no matter how well she did something, it always seemed like it was never enough to our family. We have talked about this so much that it is regular dinner conversation now. Now, she wishes that she was able to just relax and live her life for herself, she wishes that she didn't try to please others so much. This is valuable insight for me, and I hope it can be for you, also. It seems like your sister has everything a person would ever want, right? Regarding the comments that her husband made that hurt your feelings, I think that you are right to say that you shared too much. Pulling back and not sharing so much is a good idea. Your sister can still be supportive, she doesn't have to know every detail of your life to be a supportive sister. Something else to think about is this: your sister was only trying to help....She probably didn't mean to hurt your feelings, and her husband didn't mean to either its just that men don't know how to say things without it comming out the wrong way. From now on, remember two things, you are not in competition with your sister, and, people only need to know what you tell them. Good luck!