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January 17, 2006, 2:38 pm PST

Don't Give Up Trying

Quote From: a1a95836

My son has been struggling since he attended his first day at school and he is now 14 years old. He first was treated for ADHD with medication when he was 8 years old, then our problems really started to esculate. With the medications prescribed over the years, brought out a more intensifed problem, the tics that were always there but more defined. My son was later diagnosed with Tourette's Syndrome with ADHD, OCD and a disorder of written expression. We have yet to find a happy medium with medication that will treat these disorders with out all of the trying side affects. 

Anyone with any advise??? 

Sherry in British Columbia 

I grew up with ADHD and the meds helped a lot but they aren't for everyone. In my case I had very mild Tourettes. The meds (ritalin) made this worse but it still wasn't bad enought to warrant not taking them. This however isn't always the case for everyone. You have to experiment around and work with your doctor and psychologist to find the best combination of meds, traditional therapy and academic intervention. It's often a mixture of all three of those things and sometimes meds just aren't the answer. You just have to keep trying. Study on your own and keep up on the research. You know your son better than anyone so make sure you are part of the team.  

  

I know this isn't the advice you were looking for but there just isn't any one answer. Some advice I give to kids with ADHD and other learning disorders is to learn how to learn.  

  

"Learn how you work best and use that. The schools are doing better with kids like you but they are still far from perfect. Learn how you understand things and follow your own lead. Find things that interest you and find everything you can about those.  You don't need a school to do everthing for you in fact the schools just aren't equipped to handle someone with your unique gifts. Those gifts are there. You only have to find them. I know this because I had to do the same." 

  

 
January 17, 2006, 2:58 pm PST

Hang In There

Quote From: scaria

I am a 16 with Aspbergers I I often take fits of anger but more often I experience depression, so serious it scares people around me. People in my school talk about me being different and it hurts me a lot. I wish they'd stop

I grew up with ADHD. While that isn't as pronounced as Aspbergers Syndrome I nevertheless had to deal with a lot of what you have. The feeling of being the only person with this thing, impulse control and socialization. The lonlieness is worst. Since conditions like that are relatively rare or in my case it was so early in the field of ADHD that nobody else I knew had been diagnosed although several probably had it. You just feel all alone and as if you are fighting the world.  

  

What I can suggest is find some people dealing with the same issues you are or similar issues. Also there are people who don't care about your problems. Those people like you for just what you are. Cherish those people and ignore the idiots who talk and make fun of you. You are a special person. Just don't forget that. 

 
January 17, 2006, 3:36 pm PST

01/17 Extreme Disorders

Quote From: liatsunami

 I have a strange theory about these types of conditions.  AS, and certain other neurological conditions that are characterized by  well above average intelligence quotients and savant like abilities tend to cause abnormal brain patterns.  The way I figure it works is your brain is like a giant electircal circuit and when it's hyper active in certain sectors it just overloads and causes erratic behavior.   That's the best explaination I can figure.

I felt so bad for your family, it was hard to watch how much Alex seems to hate the way he behaves. It's like he feels guilt and shame for being the way he was born.  I felt so bad that you and your husband suffer so much along with him.  You all definately need help managing Alex's illness. 

I just want you to know that you should NEVER blame yourself for his condition.  You didn't wish it on him, you didn't ask for it.  It just happened, and like most parents you weren't expecting it so you weren't as prepared as you wish you had been.  That's okay.  It isn't too late.  I think you and your husband have done the best you could with the tools you had available.  Other than his behavioral outburts due to his condition your son seemed like a good kid.  So you should pat yourselves on the back for that.

I hope in the future your family will gain insight into Alex's condition and that you'll all find better coping strategies for yourselves and your family.  Good luck in the future :)

Your theory isn't far from what a lot of the researchers are beginning to believe. Many of these disorders are accompanied with enhanced abilities in other areas of funcitoning. From what I understand since these things happen in the brain early on in development they create a differently organized brain. With this change comes enhancements to other areas of the brain. 

  

As one researcher said about dyslexia, "With this different brain comes special abilities. If you change the brain so the person learns normally you loose the special abilities." What is needed is to find a way for people with these differences to contribute within their own abilities.  

  

It's only a disability if we permit it to be. Many people have a lot to offer the world but they are required to do it within such a rigidly confined spectrum called "NORMAL" that they never succeed. By changing this expectation a whole new world could be opened up to them and the rest of the world. 

 
January 17, 2006, 4:29 pm PST

01/17 Extreme Disorders

Quote From: gigiham

My soon to be 5yr. old son was diagnosed with AS just a few weeks ago.  I am trying desperately to understand as much as I can.  Do most AS children develop ADD or mood disorders I am wondering-  We have started treatment, but I really don't "get everything yet".  I seem to feel my child is more on the mild side of this as well, so I hope Dr. Phil will do more shows on milder cases.

It's sort of a mix and match thing. Often the diagnosis will change while the underlying symptoms don't. All of these (I hesitate to say disorders but that is what they are considered by the psychiatric profession) differences are hard to sort from one another. Since they all appear in a cluster there is no hard fast rule for diagnosis just as there is no hard fast rule for treatment.  

  

I consider myself to have ADHD and dyslexia. That is what I was diagnosed with at the time I was in school but I also notice some evidence of AS and Tourettes. The important thing however is that no matter what happens your son is a special person who deserves dignity, opportunity to succeed and love. He has unique gifts that can enrich the life of everyone around him. You and his teachers, therapists and his friends need to see those and help him develope into the type of person he is meant to be. 

 
January 17, 2006, 4:58 pm PST

01/17 Extreme Disorders

Quote From: karen_kiki

Please hold on and watch.  I know how you feel and that's why I wrote Dr. Phil.  The message board is taking up my life right now but that's OK because maybe WE ALL CAN GET HELP.  Alex is AS as well as ADHD and has Mood Swing Disorders. 

  

Schools do not have the training and the facilities to work with us.  We have been a bit luckier but I battle with the school system weekly (sometimes daily).   

  

After the show you will know where to turn, if not, please contact me through the message board again and I will be there for you. 

  

Please know there is light at the end of the tunnel but the tunnel is long...............................We still have not started the new treatment yet and we are awaiting the next stage. 

  

With loving thoughts.  Karen 

I thought I detected some ADHD when they showed scenes from the home cameras. I think a lot of these syndroms are cross diagnosed. I can look back at my childhood and see a lot of AS and Tourettes symptoms also. Maybe if I were now in elementary or high school I would have had a diagnosis of AS or Tourettes.  

  

I feel like the keys on my keyboard are getting worn off in a pattern. I've typed this several times in this forum thread but I'd like Alex to see it directed to him in particular. 

  

Alex, I admire your courage to come and talk about this on TV. I just want you to understand that you are a good person with a lot of gifts to offer the world. You have had challenges but so far it looks like you are doing OK with them. At times it seems like the world is against you but keep on being the person you know you can be and you will overcome that also. 

 

  

 

 

Find your special skills and abilities and learn to capitalize on those. Don't depend on the schools to give you everything. They just can't at the moment. I know this because I found that out for myself. They can guide and direct you and it's a good idea to consider what they suggest but it's you who must step up and take charge. Learn to learn. Find what works for you and go with that. You may find that these challenges will eventually become something you can build upon and eventually what you considered a curse will become your greatest strength. 

  

 

Just remember that sometimes stubborness is a virtue. It gives you the will to go on no matter what you have experienced in the past.  

  

 
September 28, 2006, 1:14 pm PDT

09/28 Love Scams?

Quote From: shaquelton

These scams are not just love scams, don't be fooled. Friends of mine are trying to sell their house right now, and have it listed on the internet. They got a reply back from a guy in Nigeria who said he was coming to Canada and wanted to purchase their house. But he said he was only allowed to bring so much  money over from Nigeria. He was going to send them a cheque for X amount of dollars and if they could cash it for him, and then open a joint bank account and put the money in it.

 

Thankfully, they contacted their lawyer first to make sure everything was kosher, and he clued them into the fact that it was a scam, so they never went through with it. The lawyer said what happens is, you cash the cheque, put the  money in the account, let him know it's in there, then he pulls it out, and you never here from again, and then the bank calls to tell you that the cheque was no good.

 

I read the e-mails that he sent to them, they were clever and smooth. Most people would have never thought it was a scam because in the e-mails he threatens that if you screw him over and take his money he is part of the militia , and will come and hunt you down. Which  makes you think that if he's worried about being screwed over, then it must not be a scam.

 

So beware, scams are all over the place and only take one unsuspecting person.

 

This is a very dangerous scam. Not only will you loose the money but this can also bring on criminal charges and you will be liable for the money the bank has lost. Best case scenario is you owe thousands of dollars to the bank. Worst case you can go to prison.
 
September 28, 2006, 2:14 pm PDT

Great coverage of one type of scam

Hopefully there will be more shows covering even more common scams. A term that might be interesting for the Dr. Phil show to explore is  "scam baiting". That is someone who engages the scammer then wastes his time and resources. The idea behind baiting is that the longer a scammer spends working a baiter the less time they will have to spend on someone who might really send them money. It's rare because of the international nature of these scams and a reluctance on the part of the countries where these scams originate but baiters have also been instrumental in bringing some scammers to justice.

Baiters utilize many techniques to delay and confuse the scammers including playing practical jokes on the scammers. One such is what is called sending them on a "safari". A scammer is offered a large amount of money but the baiter can't come to him so he must meet  the baiter in some distant country hundreds or even thousands of miles away. The scammer uses his own resources to get there and of course the baiter never shows and Mr. scammer is left holding the costs and sometimes stranded there without return fare.

One scam even more common than the love scam is the the advance fee fraud where the scammers will claim to have a large amount of money, usually millions of dollars, in a bank account or a box of money locked away in a security firm. There are a number of flavors of this scam but it always involves a lot of money and they need your help to get it out of a foreign country. For helping them you will get a cut of the total amount usually several million dollars.

When you agree to help you will eventually be asked to cover some charges such as lawyer's fees,  customs fees or bribes to officials. This is only a tiny fraciton of the money that will be released after the fees are payed so many people think of it as only a small investment on the road to getting a very large payoff. You will be asked to pay by some form of anonymous wire payment most often Western Union money transfer. Once the money is payed another problem will arise needing another payment. This will continue until you are flat broke or catch on that it's a scam.

The key point here is that this money does not exist. It never existed. This scam plays on your greed for the large amount of money or on your willingness to help someone in need.

An even more dangerous scam is the one were you will be recruited by a business to work at home as their financial associate. This involves recieving checks and money orders into a bank account you will set up in your name. You don't even have to give them your personal account. They will allow you to open one specifically for this purpose. What happens now is that you will recieve checks and money orders and deposit them into the account and keep 10% for yourself. The remainder of the money will be wired to the "business" once again using an anonymous wire transfer service. The checks and money orders are of course fakes or stolen and eventually when this is found out you are liable for the money and can face criminal charges for check fraud. People have ended up in prison for this kind of scam.


 
September 28, 2006, 2:23 pm PDT

09/28 Love Scams?

Quote From: geminigal

so nice of you to basically tell all the women out there that they are stupid.  Its not that they are stupid.  I am not a stupid woman but unless you know the woman's life, what has happened to her and her emotional state, its better to NOT LOL at all the people out ther getting scammed. 
The people victimized by these scammers are not stupid. Some very intelligent people have fallen for this. CEO's of major corporations, government officials even rocket scientists. Remember these scammers are professionals. They make their living misleading people and getting them to send them money. There is no shame in being scammed just as there's no shame in being robbed, assaulted or raped. These are criminals plying their trade and the people they are stealing from are victims of that crime plain and simple.
 
September 28, 2006, 2:39 pm PDT

09/28 Love Scams?

Quote From: newlife7

I got the very same email that the lady on the show got, from the exact same man, his name though is Collins.  He said that he was in west africa, working for a construction company, but would be home to the states soon. I knew it was a trick,  he wanted to know all of my finacial background, including my ssn#. I emailed him just now, and told him that the joke was on him.  He was on Match.com, so ladies beware.
While there's a chance that you were contacted by the same person most likely it was a different person using a pre-written script. The scammers often use scripted replies for the first few contacts. Once they have a paying victim online they will either pass the scam on to a more experienced scammer called a Maga or start replying personally but usually the first few are scripts and almost always the first contact is. These scripts are bought and sold among the scammers as well as email addresses of possible victims. It really is an industry and it isn't limited to Nigeria. Their organizations cover the globe including Americal and Canada.
 
September 28, 2006, 3:20 pm PDT

09/28 Love Scams?

Quote From: jramemm

My husband is in the middle of talking to one of these guys. We told him we're students and don't have a bank account-that's how he plans to award us the 200,000 we won through an "australian lottery", however he's in Nigeria. We've told him to send us a money order.

I've been to Nigeria and out of desperation these people are desperate to make money. It is a very depressed country. I can hardly blame them. I think everyone is fascinated by the oppurtunity to make some easy money.  Remember: IF IT SOUNDS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE IT PROBABLY IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 I just posted a recommendation for Dr. Phil show to look into the subject of baiting. I do hope your husband is doing his baiting safely. These aren't people to fool around with lightly. They have killed people before and they do have associates outside Nigeria including the United States, Canada, the UK and many other places.

It's best to use an anonymous email account like Gmail. Don't trust email accounts like Yahoo etc. Those pass on your computer's address or IP number to the recepient. Also do not give out information that can be used to identify you. You don't want some scammer to show up at your work or on your doorstep.

Baiting can be fun and relatively safe if you follow the rules and stay anonymous.
 

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