Message Boards

Messages By: mjkkas

User Mood
Good

Message Emote
blank
July 29, 2005, 8:27 am PDT

Lillian

Quote From: lillian123

hi  i am new to all of this web support stuff.  i have been having such sad feelings.  i wake up sad go to sleep sad.   i live with a husband who no longer loves me  but have had to major back surgerys in jan and unable to work.  we have to sell our house becuz we nolonger can afford it and i know tim blames me.  i grew up in an alcoholic family   my father abused my mother, my mother abuses my sister and i    growing up in leave it to beaver land and having a family where the police were at our door every weekend   i dont know  i could go on for ever.   i just am lonely and afraid all of the time.  if it werent for my grandkids  i think i would check out of this earth plane.  cant see the sun anymore or  smell the flowers.  my heart is in my throat  tears in my eyes   signed sad in az

You have come to the right place, there is alot of support here.

Do you see a counselor? are you on any meds.? (Not evryone believes in taking meds), I don't mean to ask all those questions, but sometimes we need other sources when depression is in our lives.

We all know about the hopeless feelings that are there. For me I feel them most of the time and I have 4 kids, 2 are young so I have to be around for them for some years.

I don't think that is bad, because for a time if we have to live for someone else to be here until we want to live for ourself. Did that make any sense?

If you are in AZ then it is probably too hot for a walk, I know I live around that same hot area and I certainly can't go for a walk! What kind of things do you like to do? Read or knit, anything?

This is all stuff I need to do to, I have lost interest in most things but have to try hard to do it. Take care of yourself and stay a while you are welcome here.

 
User Mood
Good

Message Emote
chillin'
July 29, 2005, 10:50 am PDT

Depression

Quote From: lillian123

it is so funny how hard it is to reach out to people but when you do its the easiest and best thing a person can do.  i am on so many meds right now   for pain from my back surg to antidepressants and anti anxiety med   i see a psychiatrist who is totally worseless all he does is push meds.  i have been house bound for 7 months due to my surg  so i know that is alot of the problem   i just dont knwo what to do about my marriage   my husband has changed so much   he used to be so caring and kind and now he has become controlling and says very cruel things to me.  i hate to sound like a whinning child   do you live in az   i hate it here   i lived in pa for 47 yrs and came out here for the grandkids  i was a single mom and so my daughter moved here with her husband and we followed.  i miss my friends back home.  i guess god puts people in our lives when we need them  this depression disease is so frustrating.  just hanging on by a thread some days.   keep the faith  i want to give back too so dont hesitate to write 

Maybe your husband is going through some depression right now too, with your surgeries and such. I always make excuses for people so sorry.  It is wrong for people to treat each other badly. My husband can say some real hurtful things to me and the kids too.

I live in Utah (look out) on the very south end where it is hot, I moved recently from where I lived for 22 years. So that is hard, change anyway...

I know about hanging on by a thread, I keep it mostly to myself though. Just keep on that happy face like my husband calls it.

 
User Mood
Good

Message Emote
blank
July 29, 2005, 1:10 pm PDT

D.I.D.

Quote From: bjshawn

I don't think really that anyone truly gets over childhood abuse. we learn I guess to the best of all of our ablity to go on and make the most of our lives that we can. For me even at my age of 46 my mind still goes back to the memorys and the extreme pain of the abuse that started for me when I was only one years old and on and on and on.

I have DID was called MPD same disorder diff label. i struggle with this disorder every day, some days are better then others but mental illness I feel keeps us in many ways locked in the pain of what happen to us at least for me it so seems this way.   I have always wished that Dr Phil would do shows on DID and other mental disorders. I even send him an e mail at the beginning of his show asking about it but it wasnt responded to I know they cant respond to all.  i let it go.

I would so like to see him do more on these topics there importent many suffer from them and not everyone can get professional help for there illness. I have insurance ( medicaid) I am on disablity. but in colorado where I live you are told where you can go for help thru medicaid and where i have to go they said they dont deal with this illness. so i see someone for medication that i take off and on as i just dont like them much. but outside of that i have no help. i had help when i lived on East Coast but that was over 8 years ago. my partner is a great supporter he is soooooo good with all of my I love him so. but still its hard. I respect Dr Phil would like to hear how he feels ones with mental illness can actually move on and get rid of the pain if that is possible.  I am a mother of three grown sons that i am very close to but i know they never really understood this illness that eats away at me i somehow with friends and good support raised them the best I could but this disorder and my abuse effected them and probably still does to some degree. i try hiding this illness from my grandaughter as i never really gotten away from the shame of this and dont want her to ever fear me the way society has. thanks for listening. bjshawn.

     I had someone diagnose me with that. As a child and teen years I wondered about it. Not much is really ever said about it or done about it I don't think.

     I agree with you on the Dr. Phil show (hint hint monitors), there needs to be more awareness about mental illness, PTSD, all of that stuff. How to deal and heal if it is possible, or how manageable it can be.

     As far as getting a response from him, it is very hard I have emailed him a couple of times and, because of the volume I guess they get overlooked. I have heard that if you put urgent on it then you have a better chance of getting a response.

     I hope you have a good weekend!

  

 
User Mood
Good

Message Emote
blank
July 29, 2005, 1:16 pm PDT

bzbluiii

     Golfallday! Great to see you here on the board. I found the boards before I got an email, they told me it would show up in the bulk so maybe it got put in your trash or maybe they haven't sent it to you. I got one a week after I had been on the boards.

     I hope all is going well for you! Still haven't seen Solo22, she had to evacuate because of hurricane Emily (I think that is the one) a while back and then the boards were down. I hope she and her family are ok.

     I start therapy on Monday so I am nervous and excited, tough to go through all the feelings I have stuffed inside, but excited because I can go forward.

 
User Mood
Good

Message Emote
happy
July 29, 2005, 1:23 pm PDT

Beachsmiles

     It is glad to see you, I realize you have alot going on. Miss your wisdom and kind words that was used to seeing everyday :).

     The boards are A little different, there are some good things about it. I like how when you post to someone from a post the day before shows up at the end/beginning (that's confusing). They don't get overlooked as much, do you know what I mean, I confuse alot of people so sorry if I confused you.

     I start therapy on Monday and hope to become a stronger better person, Thanks for all your references for help you gave me when I was struggling. You're great!

 
User Mood
Good

Message Emote
hopeful
July 29, 2005, 4:20 pm PDT

Lablefree and all

I hope that we all have a great weekend and that we can have peace, We deserve it!
 
User Mood
Good

Message Emote
hopeful
July 29, 2005, 4:22 pm PDT

Hi Lidica and all

I want to thank you Lidica for your support.

Cathy you too!

I hope we all a great weekend!

 
User Mood
Good

Message Emote
ecstatic
July 29, 2005, 4:38 pm PDT

Hi Mar

I hope you have a great weekend you deserve it,

especially after the past couple of days!

 
User Mood
Good

Message Emote
blank
July 29, 2005, 4:51 pm PDT

Haven't a clue...

Quote From: lidica

What is that pretty flower you have with your name. I love purple flowers can kill any flower with my black thumb so have to get the artificial ones for my yard. That's pretty though maybe I can find some artificial ones and pretend. I do put them in potting soil!haha
I just like purple flowers. I used to plant flowers all over my house inside and out. Now I can't grow a simple plant.  Sometimes my kids are lucky if they get fed, LOL!
 
User Mood
Good

Message Emote
blank
July 29, 2005, 5:07 pm PDT

Depression

Quote From: lidica

I love purple flowers too! You must have a black thumb like me. My Mom's poor african violets look like they have been mistreated. You'll just have to teach your kids to cook and they can fee you. I had my gkids the twins 4years old helping me cook pancakes putting butter on them they really thought they were really cooking!haha They said we love you Grandma for letting us cook! They are some real cuties. I miss having kids around. Can't wait until my gdaughter comes to live. I was buying more Spongebob for her Spongebob room. She calls herself Mrs. Spongebob at 18 the older they get the younger they get!haha I love her Spongebob room too!haha

    Yeah, I have a 3 1/2 and 7 year old. They like to break the eggs (if you know what I mean) and mix them for french toast. My 3 /12 yr. old loves Sponge Bob! doesn't have a room though.

    I understand what you mean about the older they get the younger they get, I have an 18 year old too! Fights with the little ones all the time, Drives me crazy!

 

First | Prev | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | Next | Last
Return to Message Board