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Dear Nichelle, 

Please heed Dr. Phil's advice and utilize the resources he is giving you.  I felt compelled to to write you and tell you a true story of my grandmothers faith and love.  She passed last year, but spent 42 years of her life caring for my aunt.  My aunt was mentally challenged, and ate all the time without much exercise to compensate for the calories.  She may or may not have PWS.  I just want to say that I never one time saw my grandmother speak to her daughter in any negative way.  She was pushed to the brink at times I'm sure, but she always responded with love.  The state tried to take my aunt from her (In the 50's it was common) but my grandmother told them that no one could love and care for her daughter better than she could.  My aunt did flourish with the love from our family.  She cannot live on her own, but functions well in a world that can be very cruel to her.  We never even used the word "retarded" and I was 12 before I ever heard such a thing.  Please please please be very aware of how your words effect your daughter, and people who love her.  (Yourself included.)  Pray for the patience you need to have with yourself and your daughter.  You can do it Nichelle.  I know it is not what you ever wanted for your child, nor for your own life, but you are strong and you can raise your daughter with love.  Hug her every moment that you can!  My prayers are with you, and I hope you find the strength to be the loving mom that I know you can be. 

Sincerely, 

Danielle 

Dear Nichelle, 

I posted a message but just learned that on top of everything else, you are also a single mom.  I just have to empathize with you, as I too am a single mother.  I have many frustrations, but none require the kind of strength you must find to care for your children.  I understand what it is like to be "the only one" your child (ren) depend on.  I was 35 when I became a mom for the first time--alone.  The biological father was just not interested in being a dad.  He has never even called to see if it was a boy or a girl.  My family is very dysfunctional and I chose to keep our distance.  So we are very much without any support other than a few (3) friends that help when they can.  It is very lonely, but it is also very peaceful.  Try to appreciate the time you have to make all the decisions for the benefit of your children.  Remember that your number one job as a mom is to Protect your children--even if it is at times from your own frustrations.  There have been times I have gone into the bathroom after my daughter is in bed for the evening, and just sat and cried.  It has helped me to know that I am a very strong person, and I am her mom and her dad, and God wanted me to have her and learn these important lessons.  I will never allow my own fears to impact my daughters well being.  It is hard, and she doesn't even have any health problems so far.  So I can't fully understand what you are going through.  I did think it was important to let you know though that you are not alone.   

Sincerely, 

Danielle