Messages By: toniecw

To have struck her father with so many blows, doesn't that indicate a serious deep seated anger at the male role model in her life?

Perhaps I missed the part about the father of this child's baby...was she raped and thus ventured into the world of same sex gender relationships?

Would perhaps hypnosis help this young girl to find the whys to the issues she obviously is a holding inside of her?

Perhaps dad's role in the mix, isn't all that innocent as it is being assumed...

I don't believe in hurting anyone...so I am not condoning her harming her father, I just believe that in five years she will be a coming home...you know what I mean?

Being she doesn't recall why she did what she did...could repeat performances be on the next ticket of action for don't you state as well, Dr. Phil, "that which you don't acknowledge, you don't change?"

I love your show Dr. Phil and I love your Robin as well.

Tonie Wallace

I have seen beautiful women that even though on the outside they aren't that exceptional, on the inside they are absolutely, breath taking...

I believe that when we as a society of caring parents, introduce to our children that it isn't what we appear like on the outside that matters the most; it is what we are on the inside and what we do with those up and down movements of life that counts the most.

When we were shown the mother of the former beauty queen...I saw a mother with prescription drugs, wondering why her daughter has such a problem with street drugs?  Are we not also talking about apples and apples?

Accepting that we as parents are our children's role models...and that our children usually copy the role model of the same sex parent...shouldn't parents first be the example of change to help change the program they have created within their own child's role modeling duplication?

I am not a judging her mother.  I just know that within both of my sons...I see a dab of me and lots of dabs of their father and step-father...

Am I wrong in feeling this way Dr. Phil?

The other day on one of the news shows, we were shown a news cast about the actress that plays on the show, "Ghost Whispers," who is a size 2.

She was vacationing at the beach and someone wrote in that she needed to lose weight...wow!

I remember being a size 3 when I was in my early 30's and I hate the picture of me then for I look to be way too skinny...and I am 5'4'' and of average height.

I believe that our society again, puts too much emphasis on outer appearances, completely ignoring that without inner beauty, the outer beauty soon tarnishes and shows its real colors...

This former beauty queen, has to decide to change on her own...all the rehab centers in the world, isn't going to help her, until she decides that change is what she is a needing to go on living...I pray she finds herself in the mists of all of her inner demons that won't allow her to quit her destructive life style...

We All Are Blessed

Tonie

My youngest sister states that her next door neighbor was the same person that sold them the trailer that they paid $16,000 in cash.

The same neighbor that ended up in court, being awarded the same trailer back again...for a late lot payment of $120.  Don't quote me on the $120, for it could have been more, or it could have been less...by a few dollars, more or less.

This neighbor told horrible stories in court about my sister and brother in law.  Stories that my sister claims are not true and also has put out over $10K in attorney fees.

Why did my kid sister and husband hire an attorney?  Because they thought that living in America and being an American since birth, she actually thought she would never lose the case once the system that she thought was in place, discovered the rail road job that she and her husband was being given.

She discovered that she was wrong.

Now my sister, husband and baby girl are a having to live with other family members and learn how to live communially, instead of a single family network.

All because a neighbor chose to not live by the rules of God; 'do unto others, as you would have done unto you.'

If all of mankind could understand that one principle...wow what a great world this would be...

Do you not agree Dr. Phil?

Love your show!

Tonie

I couldn't agree with you more.

Some people that I have found in my workaday world seem to enjoy the highs and lows in life perhaps more than I find comfortable.

It is almost an adrenaline rush for them.

I call it simply energy siphoning...

Here's a little glitch in the get a longs of life.  It is Quatum Physics kind of stuff...yet quite simplistic as well...we are all only 3% solid matter.  The rest of our human form is energy.

We are a walking, talking, energy machine.  We also send out energy, as well as draw it into ourselves...

(I am an energetic healing bodyworker...see my profile for web site)

I thus believe that when one is filled with negative energy, they feel weak and lifeless. 

When they generate the anger emotion to a force field large enough to erupt the emotional field of the one they are in supposed mental/physical battle with...

The escaping energy outbursts of returned anger; allows the original perpretator to capture the energy of the oen that allowed their buttons to be pushed. 

So then the anger person becomes happy inside for having won the battle, and have the other's energy to prove it.

The solution to how to stop the energy stealers, as I see it?

Don't allow others to push your button, unless of course it is life threatening...then kick their hiney!

Don't believe me?  Just think about those times that you were having a grand and miracle filled day, and along comes this grey and life less soul, just a itching to "make you, their day," and that wonderful and joy filled day;  turns into a very rough and rotten day due to what you allowed that other to "check mate you," with?  You go away feeling down casted, life less...until you are over the experience and able to come back into balance.

On the other side of the coin, are those that actually like the challenge of battle and sometimes go there for that is also exciting for them...for they are always the victims...

As Dr. Phil states, "we allow others to treat us the way we allow them," or something similar...

Or like I always told my sons when they were a growing up, "can't do the time, don't do the crime."

I believe we get what we give...

So you are absolutely right as well, "Sooner or later these types will stop-no fun."  For the fun of draining our energy, will not in place...

They go on to find others that they can push their buttons.

Those are my thoughts on all choas seekers...

 For in my observance of them, I find that most tend to also be quite the razor edge kind of walkers on this planet...

The ones that I have discovered, simme to take large risks, even though past choices were discovered to be quite silly to them...they still tend to be caught up in "Ground Hog Day," syndrome, that being of a chasing their tails, only to get the same results...over and over again.

My mother called these types, "coconut heads."

They just don't get it...  

I also know why they seem to be life less, with no energy of their own; they are of the victim mentality: everybody is out to get them, so they stay up all night, figuring out ways to get them before they get them...wow, what a phenonmenal waste of precious time.

Nine times out of ten, the perpretator moved on from yesterday's moment and into another energy stealing moment...not even a looking back...for he/she had gotten what they were a looking for...

Yet, I understand that there are all kinds of people in the world...learning to live with all the differences I feel should be man-kind's foremost priority.  Yet that isn't the case.  Yet I realize that one always fears that which they don't understand.

Dealing with the irrational...is always a difficult moment...The thought I try to hold solid in my mind, is; "what would Jesus do were He in my shoes?"  Stand and fight back, or take; exit stage left?

For I believe we are the creators of our own show...

I strive to make mine good, so I fill my life with special friends and family...for they help me through those rough moments, I would rather forget.

Know what I mean?

My life is so full, I don't have the time to make trouble to another...for I know that when I leave this planet...I and myself alone will have to stand before my Maker and explain each and every transgression I had ever chosen to make with; "what were you thinking?"

Keeping my act together is a 7/24 hour job.

On  the matter of property  becoming damaged and such, get the qualified experts to evaluate the situation properly...understanding that both sides need to come to a compromise...how simple is that?

Sincerely

Tonie

I believe that one doesn't have to be biologically connected to know love for a child not their own.

Yet I do realize that their are individuals that can't love someone else's child.

Perhaps this father is one such type.  Perhaps this child of God would best benefit from Maria a findingher child's real father and giving him a chance to love her, like she should be loved.

When one puts the ever loving dollar in front of love, that isn't love.  Understand what I mean?

Were he to have loved this child only when he thought she was his own and now due to a love of an adult, throw it all away...makes me sad for this child that didn't deserve the outcome of life, she is a receiving...

I agree with you Dr. Phil...Child first, money last.

Our Bible teaches us, "the sins of the parents will fall down upon the children for six generations."

This I feel is one of those such cases...for I too have seen clients that were abandoned by their parents of the opposite sex and never were able to quite get their act together as adults, with the opposite sex gender...

I don't agree with how the wife kept the parentage issue quiet: perhaps unless of course, she didn't know that her husband wasn't the father.  Perhaps it was only a one night stand...perhaps it happened after a drunken party at their house and she didn't remember the night event at all...we really weren't shown the complete picture, for Dr. Phil has too many people a needing his help and getting all the details out on each and every case, is not easy.

I would say, were this the case here as well...and the real father isn't easy to be produced, or doesn't have the resources to assist with child support and the betrayed father does, what would it hurt him to continue the child support?

Wouldn't it also send a large message to his other biological daughter that he is able to love unconditionally?  So she can stop worrying that daddy's love will one day go away from her as well?

When one thinks outside the box, these are the questions the come to mind...Also think about the jealousies that are being placed on the shoulders of his biological daughter and his biological daughter is also being placed dead center in the middle of the heat...between mom and step sister who used to be a  sister...

This situation isn't only about the child that isn't his, yet was told that she was...it is also a story about the family dynamics that he is a building between mother and daughters...

This is also a slap to adopted/step parents and adopted /stepchildren...for somehow it shows that one can't love another man's child. 

This man; due to his anger, is not able to see clearly.

I pray he wakes up before he loses the whole journey...rather he does or not, will be strictly his own choosing.

Love, Light and Peace

We Are All Blessed

Tonie

I totally agree...

"We all need to be healthy adults in order to raise healthy children."  Makes great sense to me as well.

We become that which we see being exhibited by our same sex parent, generally and we in inturn, accept behavior of our opposite sex parent or one we believe to be our opposite sex parent...

That is why no one should take the becoming a parent job, so lightly...for it is anything but!

I am glad that my choices in life, didn't take me down a similar road presented here...

Counseling for all is what I reccommend...

Tonie

I too believe that he shouldn't have to pay child support for this child.  I feel that if he doesn't want his other daughter to suffer in the financial lack equation as well as his step daughter...and he has the resources...he should want to assist...yet purely because he wants too, and not ordered by court to do such...

I agree that too many women feel that they have a free ticket to ride...and they shouldn't be allowed to hide the identity of ones real father...due to their own selfish reasonings...

Just my thoughts again.

Tonie

I don't believe that Maria has the full grasp of the English language...and that is the reason for her odd looks at times...

Remember we can read into anything; generally that which we are a searching for...I also try to see both sides the equation, thus there are very few surprizes in life for me.

Remember please as well..."it takes two to tangle, or not."

Perhaps both mom and a dad were a playing the field...perhaps not...

For, "what goes around, comes around."  That is the cycle of life...

Just a thinking outside the box.

Tonie

I feel that children that the mother has chosen to remove them permanently from their natural fathers lives, are hurting those children severely...unless of course the natural father is not a good role model and perhaps would cause his children further harm than what the divorce had already created.

Especially if all the mother is really a protesting is the lack of financial support.

For believe it or not...lots of Americans are out of work and what work that is found is quite limiting financially to say the least.

This again is a putting the $ before the children for I feel that our children need both parents a working together in the mix...

By doing so, we are once again the example of how two people unable to live together, can still go on a loving the children created in the scenerio of life...

I have had two divorces myself, and I now realize that the smartest thing I could have done after divorcing my sons father, was to place them and myself in counseling...unfortunately, the finances weren't there to do this for me...or my children.

I heard a judge once state to a couple that were in battle over custody, something to the effect of this:  "What one parent puts down into the minds of children about another parent, will come back and bite them later."  "For when that child grows up, they will realize that the other parent wasn't all that bad and it was purely the parent that raised the children's need to have total control over the children...even their feelings of the other parent.

"When we are children, we think like children, when we grow up, we put away our childish thoughts."

Don't worry dear parent, you will one day have your children back...and if not as adults...when they return Home to God, they will know the real truth about their lives and the parent that bore false witness...about their parent they never really knew.

I pray you will have your reunion of hearts not allowed to be shared...never stop reaching out to her with letters, for maybe one day she will realize the truths that were never told.

Peace to you, dear one.

Tonie