Messages By: toniecw

Quote From: housewife52

I don't think that he believed that he was any of those things he pretended to be. I just think he has no conscience and he figured out how to get by in this world by fooling people. I'm not a professional, but he sounds like a sociopath and/or a narcissist. He IS an ex-con,(been in jail I mean, I certainly don't think he is an "ex-con artist.) But, remember he went to jail in the first place for conning people. He is all over the net, rumors of running for New Mexico senate, rumors of 3 books coming out. Rumors of a movie about him. On some of the sites, when people say something negative about him, he always turns it back toward the individual, suggesting something's wrong with THEM.

 

Supposedly, he is now trying to teach people how to recognize a con-artist. I'm not buying it. He could also , on the other hand, be showing people how to BE a con-artist.

 

There is one thing I find interesting. He doesn't seem to have a past love-life. Usually someone like him has left women and children in his wake. He did mention a past relationship with Paul Lynde, is this a "don't ask, don't tell" situation?

 

I guess just the fact that we are willing to discuss him on this site is giving him some sort of creedence. Maybe if everyone ignored him, he would go away. Who knows? 

Quote From: cameranut

 It was interesting to watch the Dr. Phil show entitled Faking It because I just finished reading the book,
The Sociopath Next Door by Martha Stout.  I read the book because someone in my family is a con artist and I wanted to understand everything I could about this personsality.  It was as if the book was written about this family member.  One of the characteristics they all share is they want sympathy - this is how they get so manipulative:  when someone else is vulnerable; when someone reaches out to them, they strike.
That woman on the show who lied about needing a kidney transplant said that her lying  makes people care about her but what she really means is that they show her sympathy.
The other person, the 'Father Fred', basically is like the person in my family:  he wants to be important, to be somebody (the lazy way.) So they make up things and find they can get away with it.
Another thing Dr. Stout reports is these people have no conscience.  They don't love anyone and therefore do not feel a responsibility toward anyone.  Read that book and be forewarned.

Quote From: housewife52

Man this guy is slick!(And I certainly mean that in a negative way.)This should be a very interesting show. I have every idea that he came on the show planning to con DrP.I wonder if he will paint himself into a corner?(The "Father", I mean.) This is a guy who is easy to dislike from what I've seen of him. I only hope DrP will give him what for.

Quote From: snowqueeneh

I am reading how angry people are with the parents and I must admit I felt that way too... at first.  But now I realize that there are two sides.  I have two little boys and I will be sure to moniter thier activities online very very closely. 

 

However, many parents are "in between" generations now... and it's up to us as a society to educate everyone about the risks involved "online" for children and parents.  I think that some parents truly do not understand the influence the internet has on our younger generations.  It really didn't play such a huge role in our generation.  It's not easy being a parent.  People should really take it easy on this family and all the other families who suffer along the same lines.  It's because of these unfortunate circumstances that we can learn and try and raise our children with more knowledge of what's out there. 

 

We are all just beginning to learn the consequences of the internet.  Let's face it... we are the "lab mice" generation.  We get to work out all the kinks of new technology.  We need to stick together to change/ update laws and educate ourselves.  I truly feel for any families going through this.  Continue to fight for your rights and justice!

Quote From: skorian

I can't say as I am a regular to Dr. Phil's show, but I would say that usually he seems to be a good guy and generally has good productive things to say.  This show however, he makes a complete fool of himself and makes it quite obvious that there are a great many things that he does not know.

 

I think it is very sad that someone would hang them self over what they read on the net.  All I can really say in regards to that is that I think one of these days someone should write up a complete user's guide on how to react and behave on the net, or in other words how to deal with certain situations that you may be forced to deal with.  For one thing it is always best to take everything online with a grain of salt.  It's always hard to know who is who.  The online world is a whole different world in regards to our own in many ways.  Many rules that apply IRL just don't transfer over to the online world. 

 

For one thing. How can you ever really ban a person from getting online?  Whats more is that many people really can be totally untraceable.  Also there are no borders between nations online.  Everyone is in one huge melting pot.  A person may be sitting in their own home, but for all practical purposes when you go online it is like traveling to different destinations with the click of a few buttons.  Just as in real life, it is a persons responsibility to understand where they are and the way things work in that location.  You can't walk in and declare your own rules when there are already rules that apply.  It would be like walking into a bar and declaring that no one is allowed to drink because it is against your own philosophy.  Yes, the web is full of liars and jerks.  This is a fact.  It's something that comes naturally to many people.

 

I think in regards to this suicide, the best answer that I can see is that better parental tools are needed and that people need to be educated in how to use them.  Microsoft itself could be made to make parental tools that provide word filters and inform parents on what their child is doing.  Though to be honest as I am not a parent, I cant say as I have much if any experience with what is already out there.

 

I have spent a lot of time online over the years.  During that time I have really come to dislike people who whine and complain about things.  In most cases there is always something they could do to solve their own problems that they are having.  Whether it is by playing a different game that is designed differently, turning off certain features, or by just blocking people who are jerks.  IRL in many cases it can be hard to escape harassment.  Online however, it is usually quite simple just to block, ignore, or learn to avoid annoying people.  What threat really is real online?  You could be talking to your next-door neighbor, or someone on the other side of the world.  For this reason I would advise everyone online to hide their identity.  Its not wise to give away revealing information unless you are absolutely sure you can trust whom you are giving it to.  When you put information about yourself online, it becomes available to everyone.  As far as threats go, when dealing with people in person, threats can escalate and turn into a real threat.  When dealing with people online it is usually a very simple matter to get away from them.  Everyone has bad days now and then when they dont behave in a manner that is very friendly.  To my knowledge in most parts of the world, people have the right to be a jerk if they are so inclined.  Whats more is who decides when someone is being a jerk?  It is easy to always see our own behavior as acceptable and others as not.  I just dont think you can compare what is online to what is real life.  Not when you can simply shut your computer or gaming device off for a few minutes and take a break and get away completely from the aggravation.  It is a fact of life that some people just dont get along.  Also it has taken me years to realize this, but a great many gamers like to play games when they are drunk or on some sort of drug.  Its not something I agree with, but at times it can be rather amusing to observe.  Its not my place to tell people what they can and cant do.  I would be very upset if we pass laws that in the long run will only aid in censorship and give large organizations the power to have even more control over what people know.  There is great deal of very good and very useful information that I feel certain groups would like to have removed because it reduces their profits and is a threat to their business.  Because their lies might become common knowledge through the freedom of the Internet.  One only has to sit down and watch TV for a few minutes to see the oceans of miss information that is pumped into our homes.  The Internet gives us a way to learn what others think, feel, and experience.  Rather then being brainwashed by the beliefs and motivations of large corporate entities that are only out for money.  They are the only ones able to freely afford the transfer of information that goes on through the television.

 

To  Ron and Tina Meier I would say this.  Your time would be better spent in learning how to protect children and educating people in what they can already do to prevent such tragedies from happening to others.  I would hope that those responsible feel very badly for what they have done, you just cant stop people from being jerks and lying about who they are online. 

 

To Scott Rupp I would say.  You should be ashamed.  Its not wrong to want to help, but removing people rights, is not the answer.

 

To Sandy Tucker I would say that I can see both sides.  Though the fact that she is a democrat and that the joke makes fun of she herself.  Well, it is sort of like an African American telling African American jokes.  We live in strange times and to be totally honest I am very tired of the absurd over concern with political correctness.  It has gone to far.  People just need to start learning to agree to disagree with some things and ignore what they dont particularly like.  As long as it isnt a personal attack on someone in particular I dont really see a problem.  The reason I feel it is absurd is because people will feel however they feel.  The fact that they cant say how they feel in public isnt going to change how they feel about something.  So is it that we are offended by how others feel or the words themselves?  With this attitude I think I would always be in a state of being offended knowing full well all around me are people who strongly disagree with how I feel.  I guess having spent as much time online as I have and seeing how people really are when they are more comfortable has made me realize that its absurd to get upset with others opinions over things that dont really matter.  Trying to suppress how people feel and make it so they cant speak their minds isnt really the answer.

 

Terry you are a newb who doesnt have a clue.  First of all, there is no way to know that what was said to you is factual in any regard.  Secondly, this person could claim that you violated their rights by beating them at this game that you are playing.  What it really comes down to is you need to learn to avoid people who aggravate you.  Yes, I would agree that it sounds as if this game uno with a web cam is a serious problem.  Yes, some people could take advantage of kids online with a web cam.  There is no real way to stop this from happening other then turning off the web cam feature or to only allow them to play with people you know and approve of.  I would also like to state from experience that quite often the mouthiest people are under the age of 15.  It is quite likely that you are being threatened by a child who has a big mouth.  I think with more experience online you will learn that what I am saying is true.  I personally have seen some very very very bad behavior over the years and quite simply what you are experiencing is very typical.  Especially among younger groups.  As far as griefing is concerned.  Griefers are considered those who play only to aggravate and harass others.  Some people just have different personalities and play styles then others and enjoy giving each other a hard time.  If you dont like that, then dont play with those types of people.  Everyone now and then says things they probably shouldnt.  I would assume that you as well have said things you probably shouldnt.  The fact that you gave out information about yourself is your own fault.  In general being anonymous online is for everyones own protection.  Until you learn how to not be totally anonymous, I would not be giving out any information what so ever.  Learn from your mistakes.

 

I would also like to add that this show was very one sided.  Where were those people on the other end of these situations to stick up for them selves?  I very much dislike one sided arguments and the planting of those who dont fully support or even believe in their side or what they are saying.  It is a poor tactic that is used to manipulate the weak minded and is unacceptable.

Quote From: pierla

Speaking as a young girl who once thought she was only worth what her peers told her she was worth, when her first boyfriend broke up with her by bedding her best friend, she attempted a double suicide with another friend who died as a result. Humanity has an innate ability to hurt eachother, and it's not the least bit difficult to inflict real harm on another with words.

 This girl was me, now a 38 year old wife and mother of three, one of which is a twelve year old son who has his first girlfriend and his own computer for school work. We have parental controls employed and routinely monitor his use in both arenas, but it's not difficult to see how things slip through the cracks, because there are cracks. 

 

  I feel for young Megan who will never be able to learn what I had the opportunity to know; how precious life truly is. I also feel for Megan's mother, who I know must feel tremendous guilt in the regard with which she spoke those last words to her daughter.  It's reminiscent of a situation last year in which I put blame squarely on my son for his troubles with  a teacher, who we later discovered was often singling him out and disparaging him inappropriately in class. I will never forget his face when he grasped that I wasn't supporting him. 

It was a little like the look on the face of a high school friend whom I once called a whore, telling her everyone knew it.  The same friend that later died.

 

MY PRAYER IS ONLY THIS:  That ONE person would read this who's in a situation hurting someone else and just think for a scant moment what it might be like to look in the mirror with that same facial expression and using the same words, voice inflection, sarcasm, etc, have a bird's eye view of how it's being received. I hope they would be stymied; stopped. 

Thanks for reading.

 

Quote From: ericka91

     I don't think there's anything wrong with living apart for a while. I just think both of them should grow up. There seems to be a lot of anger especially from the wife. She may not be getting the emotional support, consideration, or compassion that she needs from him. It's not always the problem of your spouse-sometimes we need to look at ourselves and make some changes first before we can expect others to change. Once the spouse sees the change it may encourage them to do the same...I'm sure this didn't just happen overnight. I've been here before, but fighting isn't going to solve things. This couple truly isn't hurting each other as much as they are their children. Trust me, I know. I came from a home where fighting never ended. My dad's behavior was the problem, and my mom just sit back and took it all. Us kids used to have night mares, shake, and cry. It caused fear within us. You may not think so, but it's so true. I'm still trying to deal with the anger/hurt inside of me and I'm 35. There was so many bad memories, we can't remember but a few of the good ones. I think there is a time of separation, but you don't have to act like the world's falling to pieces for the children. Nomatter what you need to act as if nothing's wrong if front of them-especially if they're smaller. If this couple can't get along-then they need to move on...

Quote From: manofgoods

Hi, Jeremy. I agree with you that she may have much more than a eating disorder, it could be on what you just said. I think that both you & Jennie aren't evil people, & that you just want help for both of you just so you can benefit for the children, because that's the most important thing, even if you two don't stay together. If I were you, I would continue to be there for her, & stand by her whenever she has problems, as she may need help from you in the future. Don't, & I repeat, don't try to take the children away from her, because that would make the problems more worse than before, as she loves them with all her heart, & would die not seeing them again. Just ignore other posters messages that were mean & harsh towards her, as I agree with you that she was being picked on too much, by which you said earlier. My E-mail address is in my profile if you want to talk about how well things went for you & her. Best of wishes to both you & Jennie, & the children. Let me know how it went! May God bless all of you.

 

Garland

Quote From: tano57

Jeremy,  Go to a good 12 step program.  You will realize that you can't fix another person, all you can do is fix yourself.  I think if you stop focusing on trying to fix her and start focusing on fixing you, she might see the light.  Take Dr. Phil up on his offer for help, I am sure that it will involve therapy.  But we you go to therapy, take the side of, "What is my part in this problem." "What can I do to fix my part in this problem."

Don't go "What can I do to deal with Jennie's anger or her problems."  That answer will come as you focus on yourself.  I know that sounds kind of backwards, but it's not.  In all things, it is how we look and react to the situation that causes the outcome.   For instant, do you say the glass is half full or half empty?  If that glass needs to be full, do you say, How can I fill it up or do you say Who made it half empty and they should fill it up.   

     Believe me, I know about trying to fix someone else.  It never works, but life sure is a lot more calm and peaceful if I just focus on my part and stop trying to fix their's or make them fix their part.  And when I focus on my part in the problem, the other person starts to look at their part because I am not bugging them all the time.  Does the problem get fixed, many times yes.  There are still things we have issues on, but as I listen to my spouse, my spouse is starting to realize " hey I need to focus on my part of this problem and not their's."

     Best of luck to you both, I can tell you both still want to try to make it work.  And I wasn't kidding about going to a 12 step program, they are for those who have to live with the individuals suffering with additions (like OCD) too.  What have you got to lose if you went, an hours worth of time.  Again best of Luck and I hope what ever is suppose to work out, will.