Messages By: vnabors

I so empathize with Melissa. I, too, am a product of an alcoholic parent (my father). I hid this from all of my friends. I am a "witty" person and used my "wittiness" to hide the pain and embarrassment I felt. I envied the "normal" lives of my friends and vowed to not end up like my father. I never, ever drank alcohol, even just to try it, for fear that by some hereditary gene, I would end up like him. He terrorized our family and the scars run deep for my mother and my siblings, as well as myself. We would have to leave in the middle of the night or be taken out of school whenever we received a "tip" that he was on his way home and that he was drunk. We sometimes did not receive a "tip" and it would be a total, terrifying surprise, one we would not know if we were going to live through. My dad was an avid hunter and gun collector. We feared for our lives constantly. Like I said, I vowed not to walk in his footsteps. I did end up married at a young age and had two children when I was very young. However, I went to school and became a Registered Nurse. I never thought that I could accomplish such a feat. I always thought that I did not have what it took or the brains to become an R.N. I was, and am, a very stubborn and determined individual and realized that I did get this trait from my father, but I always wanted to prove to others that knew him (and the whole community did, much to my surprise) that I wanted no part of being like him in any way, shape or form. I just want to tell you that what you make of your life is your choice. We are only a victim of our circumstances if we "let" ourselves be. We all have the choice to rise above our circumstances and not follow in the footsteps of those that hurt us and betrayed us, whether they did it intentionally or unintentionally. The scars from the wounds will always remain but you can use your past to always drive you to be a better person and use that which hurt you to possible help someone else. I would love to meet you and cheer you on, even if just to email you and let you know that others know how you have suffered but we moved on and in doing so, hopefully have broken that cycle of alcoholism in our branch of our family tree. If you would like to email me, I'm sure the Dr. Phil show would give you my email address. Best of luck to you in your endeavors and your life. You will make it! Just know that others believe in you and are cheering you on.