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Messages By: kaylee1985

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July 31, 2005, 11:22 pm CDT

prenups smart idea

i think asking for a prenup is not saying that the marriage is not going to work its just saying just in case you cant determine what the future holds for you or your belongings americas divorce rate is horrible and its only wise to protect your assets now like the saying says better safe than sorry and i think that fits this perfectly  and if the person truly is not useing the person for money and truly feels that there marriage is going to work and has absolutly no selfish reasons for the marriage then why are they so scared to sign a prenup?
 
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July 31, 2005, 11:28 pm CDT

yes give him another chance

Quote From: brittany

i am 16 and i have been single for 5months i was with this guy for almost 6 months he was like my best friend i new him for 2 years i want him back he wants to date me agian to but i dont know what i should do could any of yall help me i love him he is 18 and his name is matt do yall think i should date him
my name is kaylee  and i was with my boyfried for six months and we to broke up he was my best friend and i was truly devestated when our relationship broke up a few months later we started talking again and  we talked through our problems and decided what we had was wonderful and that we owed it to ourselfs to at least give it another shot well i'm happy to report that was 4 years ago and were still going strong so at least give him another shot so you dont always have to wonder what if i mean you never know if its meant to be it is and if its not its not but dont you owe it to yourself to at least   find out?
 
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August 3, 2005, 12:42 am CDT

I'M SO SORRY

Quote From: ltl_snbl

I read most of the stories on here and felt like talking about mine. I was in a relationship for about a year and a half. I know that isn't long for most people, but for me it was since I had been in a bad marriage a few years ago. I felt this guy was the most wonderful man in the world. Him and I had been talking about marriage. I knew in my heart that we would be together and nothing could come between us. We lived in the same town but because of his job we could go days without seeing each other. For the last 6 months of our relationship he was in another town for a school, the day before I was suppose to fly down for his graduation he broke up with me. The man did it over the internet, no phone call or anything like that. His excuse was that the distance was getting to him and he felt like he was rebounding. My friends and those around me tell me in need to move on and that I need to realize that it wasn't meant to be. In the 2 months since he broke up with me I have lost close to 15 pounds, which I didn't need to lose, one of my friends the other day told me I am starting to look anorexic. Some days I feel like I need to move on and should be looking for someone else, but there are many days when all I want to do is cry. Everyone who sees me, sees me smiling and pretending everything is fine but I know that part of me still wants to see him and have him in my life. To make matters harder I have 2 kids from my marriage, not with him, that thought he was the greatest and I feel like they think it is my fault that the relationship ended. I am at a point where I don't even know what to do. Sorry for rambling on like this, I am hoping this will help me work through my feelings.

I'M SO SORRY NOONE SHOULD HAVE TO GO THOUGH THAT HE COULD HAVE AT LEAST DONE IT A DIFFERENT WAY I MEAN HAVE SOME DIGNITY DONT DO IT ON THE INTERNET AND I AM SO SORRY YOUR KIDS HAD TO GET INVOLVED THAT MAKES IT ALL THE MORE HARD I KNOW I HAVE BEEN THERE. SOMEONE TOLD ME THINK ABOUT IT DO YOU THINK HE IS SITTING HIS ROOM BAWLING HIS EYES OUT NO! SO WHY GIVE HIM THE SATISFACTION OF HURTING YOU AND POSTPONING YOUR LIFE LIKE THAT WHAT GIVES HIM THAT RIGHT AND EVERYTIME YOU START TO GET DOWN I WANT YOU TO THINK ABOUT AND PICK YOURSELF BACK UP AGAIN. BECAUSE YOU ARE IN CHARGE OF YOUR LIFE YOU AND YOU ALONE NOT HIM NOT ANYONE AND I PROMISE SOMEONE ELSE WILL COME ALONG AND KNOCK YOU OFF YOUR FEET AND YOU WILL FORGET ALL ABOUT HIM AND WHEN YOU FIND THE RIGHT PERSON YOU WILL NEVER HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT HAVEING THIS CONVERSATION AGAIN.

                                                                                                                     KAYLEE

KEEP IN CONTACT IF YOU LIKE!

 
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August 5, 2005, 9:02 pm CDT

i would love to

Quote From: kaylee1985

I'M SO SORRY NOONE SHOULD HAVE TO GO THOUGH THAT HE COULD HAVE AT LEAST DONE IT A DIFFERENT WAY I MEAN HAVE SOME DIGNITY DONT DO IT ON THE INTERNET AND I AM SO SORRY YOUR KIDS HAD TO GET INVOLVED THAT MAKES IT ALL THE MORE HARD I KNOW I HAVE BEEN THERE. SOMEONE TOLD ME THINK ABOUT IT DO YOU THINK HE IS SITTING HIS ROOM BAWLING HIS EYES OUT NO! SO WHY GIVE HIM THE SATISFACTION OF HURTING YOU AND POSTPONING YOUR LIFE LIKE THAT WHAT GIVES HIM THAT RIGHT AND EVERYTIME YOU START TO GET DOWN I WANT YOU TO THINK ABOUT AND PICK YOURSELF BACK UP AGAIN. BECAUSE YOU ARE IN CHARGE OF YOUR LIFE YOU AND YOU ALONE NOT HIM NOT ANYONE AND I PROMISE SOMEONE ELSE WILL COME ALONG AND KNOCK YOU OFF YOUR FEET AND YOU WILL FORGET ALL ABOUT HIM AND WHEN YOU FIND THE RIGHT PERSON YOU WILL NEVER HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT HAVEING THIS CONVERSATION AGAIN.

                                                                                                                     KAYLEE

KEEP IN CONTACT IF YOU LIKE!

i would love to stay in contact with you in fact i have a problem maybe you can help me with i'm seeing a guy named well will call him(mitch) me and mitch have been togeather for 5 years next month and he's a great guy sometimes but other times he's abusive mentaly verbally and of course physically he calls me horrible names and treats me like a child who should have to answer to him i know that this sounds horrible and the answer to my problem is prety clear but i guess when you get used to hearing someone put you down you start to believe it and you lose your self esteem and thats the only reason i can come up with for why i stay with him other than love of course i guess if anything i should take the advice i gave you i am so torn i just dont know what to do maybe  you can help me just give me your advice.  

                                                         thank you  

                                                                      kaylee 

  

if anyone else has any advice please feel free to tell me i can use all the help and support i can get 

 
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August 5, 2005, 9:28 pm CDT

oh thats horrible!

Quote From: jellybelly

i gave a child up fo adoption 26years ago.. this was the hardest thing i could ever do. the worst day of my life...... i gave her up so she could have a loving home. i was 16 when i found out i was expecting her i allready had one son that turned 1 the day i found out for sure i was pregant. i had trouble controling my anger. because i was so young .. this is something that i learned with age. so at this age i gave her up.... the people that raised her did a good job i guess.. she commented sucide at the age of 16... they did not let me know about it for 4 years.  then only gave me little info on her .  they did send me 1 picture and wrote me a letter telling me she wanted to find me and meet me when she turns 18. she did not make it  .  all the contacting was done thru the adoption agency. they sent me a paper that read like a funeral reading.  with a drawing of her on the back of the paper....  this was all they sent ...  they did not let me know where she was buried at .  i needed to go to her grave and talk to her .. i know that his isnt something that is easy for me to hear . so thru help of this computer i went to work.. i had to find her.  i had to tell her good buy and tell her i was so sorry.  if i had of not did what i did she might be here..  from what i was told she was helping a friend by talking him out of killing himself then went a did it herself .  the worst part he lived.... i did finialy find her . it was very emontally for me  the 2 nd... hardest thing i had to do .  it did take me years to do this but i did.  and i dont feel any better now that i did.. the only thing that keeps  me going is one day i will see her  .... i hope it is in heaven......  this is the only thing i can cling to to keep me sane......

I AM SO SORRY THAT HAD TO BE SO HARD FOR YOU. SEE I WAS ADOPTED AT BIRTH AND DIDNT FIND OUT UNTIL I WAS ALMOST 15 I THINK THAT WAS THE HARDEST THING IN MY LIFE AND WHAT MAKES IS WORST IS THAT NOONE TOLD ME I STUMBLED ACROSS MY ORIGINAL BIRTH CERTIFICATE AND DID SOME RESEARCH AND FOUND OUT AND WHEN I TOLD MY PARENTS ALL THEY COULD THINK ABOUT WAS THEM YOU KNOW NOONE EVEN ASK ME HOW I FELT ABOUT IT BUT I GUESS I'M RAMBLING I JUST NEVER HAD ANYONE TO TALK TO ABOUT THIS AND IT JUST SEEMS LIKE YOUR ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THIS ISSUE SO MAYBE WE CAN HELP EACH OTHER. ALTHOUGH I WAS PRIVILAGED ENOUGH TO MEET MY BIRTH MOM AND HER OTHER DAUGHTER  I KNOW THAT IT WAS FOR THE BEST THAT SHE DID IT SHE WAS 13 WHEN SHE HAD ME AND WAS BY NO MEANS READY TO BE A MOTHER I KNOW IT WAS BEST THINGS HAPPENED THE WAY  THEY DID BUT IT STILL HURTS ME IT JUST FEELS LIKE A REJECTION I DIDNT KNOW THE DAUGHTER YOU GAVE UP FOR ADOPTION BUT I'M SURE SHE FELT THE SAME WAY AND I'M SURE SHE WANTED TO MEET YOU. EVEN IF JUST TO KNOW WHY YOU DID IT I THINK THAT WAS MY BIGGEST REASON FOR GETTING IN CONTACT WITH MY BIRTH MOM I HAVE SINCE NOt  SEEN HER I JUST FEEL THAT SHES NOT THE KIND OF PERSON I WANT TO ASSOCIATE MYSELF WITH. IM SORRY YOU HAD TO GO THOUGH THAT AND  WHATS WORSE IS THE FAMILY SHOULD HAVE CONTACTED YOU IMMEDIATLY WHEN IT HAPPENED YOU HAD EVERY RIGHT TO KNOW I KNOW YOUR DAUGHTER IS IN HEAVEN AND I'M SURE SHE WAS A WONDERFUL PERSON THAT JUST MADE SOME POOR CHOICES AND COULD FIND NO OTHER WAY OUT I HOPE THAT YOU MAKE SOME PEACE WITH IT AND REALIZE THAT THERES NO USE SAYING WHAT If WHAT WAS DONE YOU CANT TAKE BACK AND YOU CANT CHANGE THE OUTCOME BUT YOU CAN BE IN CHARGE OF YOUR FUTURE AND MAKE IT THE BEST YOU CAN FOR YOU AND YOUR DAUGHER AND OTHER CHILDREN  

                                                      MY DEEPEST SYMPATHY 

                                                                                              KAYLEE 

PLEASE STAY IN CONTACT I THINK US TALKING COULD DEEPLY BENIFIT ONE ANOTHER MY E-MAIL ADRESS IS (kaylee_m_1985@yahoo.com) or you can just talk to me on here i would appreciate that so much.  

                                                                                  

 
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August 8, 2005, 6:11 pm CDT

thank you so much

Quote From: white8

about you and "mitch".  Leave.  Leave now.  or you'll end up like me and trust me, nobody wants that.  if you have children, do you really want  that influence on them?  I just came out of a similar situation and the harm it has done to my son and myself is devestating.  My ex was bad about that.  Mental and emotional abuse to me, is worse than the physical.  At least the cuts bruises and broken bones heal.  The emotional and mental scaring is far more difficult to heal.  Fortunately for me there was no physical abuse in that relationship which lasted 10 long years.  My ex would not let me have friends, go out, take us anywhere, my son could not go to headstart or play with other children, and he abused drugs and alcohol, ignored us when he was home and spent the rest of the time with other women.  That said, take some more advice, dont think youre alone.  Believe it or not, I have chosen to be in a relationship that is almost identical to the one i just left.  But I have more control over this one.  I digress, sorry.  All Im saying is that if I can escape anyone can.  And of those 10 years I spent 7 trying to escape.  It was scarry, it still is scarry.  I had the support of a wonderful daughter and son-in-law, who took in her mother and little brother.  I still continue to work on my scars and build my self esteem which right now has hit rock bottom again.  Ive been working on all that he took for me for 3 years.  You can do this.  If you have no one that will help you, go to your shelter for women in your town if you have one(I did that once) but please, dont wait another 5 years to leave.  If you need additional support or to draw on someones strength, I'll gladly be there for you with mine.  If you need to or want to stay in touch here on the board I'd be happy to help.  by the way, just call me m.  oh, and ps...."great guys" dont abuse their women.

I KNOW YOU ARE RIGHT ITS JUST HARD I FEEL LIKE I LOVE THIS GUY SO MUCH AND HOW COULD I SPEND MY LIFE WITHOUT HIM THEN OTHER TIMES I HATE HIM WITH A PASSION HE TO ABUSES ALCOHOL AND DRUGS IN FACT THAT IS WHEN HE IS ABUSIVE I WOULD LIKE TO BLAME IT ON ALCOHOL BUT DEEP IN MY HEART I KNOW THAT IS JUST AN EXSCUSE HE TO WILL NOT ALLOW ME TO HAVE FRIENDS AND GO PLACE AND I FEEL MORE LIKE HIS 13 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER THAN HIS GIRLFRIEND AND I GUESS I JUST FEEL SORRY FOR HIM. I THANK YOU FOR YOUR HELP SO MUCH I HAVE TO GO RIGHT NOW BUT I WOULD LOVE TO STAY IN CONTACT WITH YOU MY E-MAIL ADRESS IS (KAYLEE_M_1985@YAHOO.COM) WRITE ME IF YOU WANT OR IF YOU WOULD RATHER JUST TALK ON HERE THATS FINE TO HOPE TO HEAR FROM YOU SOON  

                                                                                              KAYLEE 

 
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August 8, 2005, 6:24 pm CDT

thats horrible

Quote From: teemarie03

pregnant and alone

Where do I start? Right now my life is pretty messed up right now. I am 7 months pregnant and my boyfriend of 2 years has ran off to Virginia. I already have a one year old son with him and things werent great but they werent the worst. about 2 weeks ago he was helping his god parents move to Virginia, then on my sons first birthday july 09 he calls me and says he wasn't going to make it to the party. He had  the nerve enough to tell me that he could've gotten a bus ticket home but he needed time to himself he was too stressed out. Boy was I hurt to the bone. I figured its your sons 1st birthday and your being so selfish by saying that you needed to get away. At a time like this? His reply was "me missing his first birthday is between me and him and I don't  have to answer to anyone but him." Well that may be true to a certain extent but come on it's your sons first birthday why would you want to miss out on that? I was furious. I told him not to bother me for awhile. He calls the party to speak with his brother and tells him he on his way to Virginia Beach. Does anyone else see something wrong with that. he tells him also that he would be back later on that week. After that I didnt hear from him until the following Saturday and he  calls me and tells me that he might be staying down there for awhile and that he's going to the shipyard to find work every morning. I was so hurt. I was crying hysterically I mean I loved this boy. I would do anything for him. I mean it just happened so fast. The day before he left we were doing fine we watched a movie after I got off work then he took me home we did our I love yous and kisses. He says he understands why I am so hurt but I dont see how you could do somebody like this if  you love them. His main rebuttals i are I need time to myself to get my head on straight. you dont know what is going oon in someones head or what people are thinking, I am too stressed out. Sometimes you have think about yourself no matter who it hurts or you'll never be happy.

I know it's not all about me but I am crushed I need my boyfriend right now to get through this pregnancy to hug me kiss me talk to me but he says he to stressed out and he needs to get his life togather and start thinking more about himself. I feel like I am worthless. I cry every night . I cant believe he just left me like he did. He was my first for everything. This was even a big blow to his family. If you knew Justin you thought he would always be there for his kids if not his girlfriend. I feel embarassed when someone asks me how we're doing or where he's at.

He called me yesterday to ask about our son the convo was dry and forced. he began telling how he found a job and that he even started going to church. It looks like to me he's not coming back and that hurts more than anything. when he talks i can truly hear happiness in his voice. I want to be happy for him but I am not happy with how he left me. I feel burdened and stressed. I am begining to blame him for my anger, sadness, and depression. i feel like his happiness costed me what little happiness i had. at times I hate his guts at other times i miss him and I still love him. I cry all the time I need help.  does anyone have any advice.

 

thanks

Teena marie

Columbus Ohio

WHAT A JERK HE MAY BE A NICE GUY.AND I MEAN I'M ALL FOR FINDING YOUR SELF AND SPENDING SOME TIME ALONE I OFTEN DO THAT BUT TO RUN OFF AND LEAVE HIS GIRLFRIEND 7 MONTHS PREGNANT AND MISS HIS SONS FIRST BIRTHDAY MAKES ME BELIEVE THAT YOU NEED TO FORGET ABOUT HIM. UNLESS HE DECIDES TO GROW UP AND TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE FAMILY HE CREATED AND THEN LEFT. BUT UNTIL THEN I WOULD NOT EVEN CONSIDER TAKEING HIM BACK ANY ONE THAT IS THAT CARELESS WITH HIS LIFE AND SOMEONE ELSES IS NOT THE KIND OF PERSON YOU NEED TO EXSPOSE YOUR CHILDREN TO I KNOW YOU LOVE HIM AND WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING FOR IT TO WORK OUT BUT IN LESS HE MAKES AN EFFORT TO MAKE A MENDS THEN YOUR BETTER OFF ALONE I AM SO SORRY YOU AND YOUR SON AND YOUR UNBORN BABY HAVE TO GO THOUGH THIS I HOPE EVERYTHING WORKS OUT FOR THE BEST FOR YOU! 

                                                                                                                      KAYLEE 

IF YOU EVER  NEED ANYTHING OR JUST NEED TO TALK TO SOMEONE MY E-MAIL ADRESS IS (KAYLEE_M_1985@YAHOO.COM) TRUST ME I'M GOING THROUGH SOMETHING SIMILUR AND I WOULD LOVE TO TALK TO YOU 

 

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