Messages By: lucky35

I think I know what Dr. Phil would say, he'd tell you that money problems are what break up most marriages these days, and that to make things work, you BOTH have to be on the same page where  your finances are concerned, or it just won't work. 

You've got to ask yourself some tough questions, such as, what are the facts/reasons why neither of you can hold a job for more then a year? Why did you marry a man who isn't finacially stable? Both of these answers might be the same, is it low self esteem? Perhaps you have a low level depression that leads you to losing jobs due to missing work or poor performance, or low self esteem that lead you to settling for a man you love but who isn't financially stable. You DO deserve to have a sense of security within your marriage, and that has nothing to do with age! Many, many people hold full time jobs from the time they are old enough to work. Your difference in age doesn't have anything to do with him not holding a job. He doesn't keep a job because he doesn't have to, he probably knows that you will tolerate him being not employed as long as he keeps promising to "try".... I suggest that you read Dr. Phil's book "self matters"... I know that it really helped me alot when I was depressed, and I still have it right here on my nightstand to review from time to time. Best wishes. 

I have heard enough Psyc Profs says that if you think you are something - then your not!! - It's when you deny that anything is wrong with you - then maybe something might be.  The other problem is don't psyco-psamatic yourself, in other words, don't read a definition or think you might have it, because your psycie will tell you you do have it. 

You are right about the rock bank concerts, I myself have been to enough of them and my hearing has suffered over the years.  Ok you were a stripper.  True some people look upon this as horrible, but I have seen enough documintaries on people that strip - and it's divided into those that feel they have no other choice, and those that feel totally comfortable with themselves.  Now what you have to do is Quit worrying and start using your brain. 

I know that you have intelligence and are good to excellent at something.  Get in contact with yourself and take stock of yourself. 

                                                                            Rog 

Nurses in my area are all "at-will" employees & can be fired for anything or nothing. I'm in my early 50's and got a new manager in her early 40's less than a year ago. I have been in my unit since it was opened 3-4 yrs ago.  When she wanted to appoint a shift coordinator she chose a 26 yr old with 3 years experience that was working only per diem at the time. Although she denies it, she gets furious when she or her protege are questioned.  She has picked one other 24 year old nurse to be a part of her clique. Although she hardly speaks to three other nurses in our unit she is making my life unbearable. She makes a point of trying to belittle me or make me feel stupid in front of my coworkers.  Behind closed doors she admitted she wouldn't give me the coordinator position because she couldn't work with me. Instead of going by seniority, she decreases our hours according to our work load based on the needs/wants of her two protege. When I returned to work today I find she didn't give me two days of my vacation because the three of them are going to a company paid seminar.  I don't know what to do. I'm at my wit's end. 

Hi - I recently resigned for a governmental job after 16 + years do to being bullied in the workplace. It was a nightmare. My union rep kept telling me that I would be squeezed out and to seek employment elsewhere that he had experienced a similar situation. I loved my job and tried to stand up for myself and what I felt was the right thing to do (gut instict). In the end, I was off work with severe depression for 8 months, I did file harrasement & retaliation complaint through ca fair employment & housing because my employer would not accept my complaint, stating that I did not have a legimate complaint. Well... my complaint was accepted and also forwarded to the EEOC for action as well. It is a long process but I will follow through. I also filed a workers comp claim for stress, it was also validated after 8 months, but to late to keep my job, I resigned before I was to be terminated. The bully had bullied others before me and they had attempted to file a complaint with our employer to no avail, they were smart and moved on before it ended up with what I have gone through. They have a job, and for the first time since I was 14 yrs old, I don't. 

Question: How do you start over again, once your reputation has been ruined? I had A+++ up until a downsizing and mandated job move 2 yrs ago. Since some of you have returned to employment, I'm looking for any advise that will help me return to the workforce once again. 

PS I have read about bullying in the workplace and bullies always bully others that they are intimidated by. 

Ask your parents if they got AARP's Nov/Dec 05 issue and turn to page 88.  Ms. Verna J. Willis who went after her Ph.D. when she was in her 40's.  In her late 50's she was frustrated and wrote a set of goals.  1 being obtaining tenure at a university.  At the age of nearly 62 she got.  She retired when she was 77.   

Get this article and cut it out or photocopy it and hang it up so you can see it daily.  She can be your CHEERLEADER!  YOu are not the only one - just one of 1000's who decided they wanted to go after their heart's desire.