Messages By: lucky35

I know this is a lot of money for you to handle. Try thinking of it this way your husband needed this degree to finish his education to make your lives better. If it would make you feel better have him sign a contract to bind him to staying in the classes and finishing them. I've learned that if my husband has something set in his mind he's going to do it regardless of how much I think I know better. Try sitting down and talking to him logically... If he wants you to pay and sacrifice you expect him to listen to you the next time he decided to load up and drop classes. If not you simply will make him come up with a way to handle the money. After all it was his decision not to follow the rules of the loan and go against your better judgement. 

Good Luck, 

Stephanie  

Hahah I'm a nurse! I need some more back round info.... How old is your husband? Is he too old to be playing the major changing routine? Here's my advice... My husband works offshore in the oil buissness he makes very good money now but didn't always and I was making way more money then him. I don't think the success of your marriage is determined on how much a person makes vs. your spouse. I do belive in drive and ability however. I know that if my husband was playing around in school while I was working my butt of I'd be angry as well. Maybe take a step back from the situation and just let it simmer down. I know from being married that my harping and nagging does nothing to work on the problem.  

   Give it a couple of weeks or days however long you need to come up with a game plan. Then have a clear plan with notes or a board with all your main ideas like a presentation so you don't loose focus and calmly explain how you'd like him to finish college or drop out stop wasting time and resources and find a better job. Then maybe go into your 5 year plan and tell him that if he isn't serious about college to let you as a couple save the resources for your Ph.D so you can provide for you both while he figures out what he'd like to do.  

 As I read over your message again I have to think to myself that we as women took vows ... for better or for worse... and it seems to me that there may be something more to your husbands lack of commitment towards his education and job future. He may have Peter Pan syndrome( I don't want to grow up). Staying in college is like a status of being young and working in the real world means he'd have to grow up.  

Okay I think I'm rambling. I hope this helped post more and we'll bounce ideas back and forth if it helps you. I know this has got to be hard.  

Stephanie  

Is your husband currently working as an LNA or nursing assistant? If he is, and there is such a need for nurses right now,  that the facility might be willing and able to "comp" him college courses to finish his nursing degree with an assurance that he goes to work for them after graduation.  He is 28, and while I truly believe in sowing your wild oats before you get married, once you DO marry, you have to jump on the bandwagon. My husband is 56, and will finish his bachelors degree in Feb of 2006. Hmmm why so long? Because when I married him, I strongly told him that our future kids would need to have role models for their education. He is incredibly smart, and has gone through a 4 year program while working full time with a 4.0 average at Drexel University(yes, as a matter of fact, I DO brag about him)- it was just an issue of desire on his part, and I credit myself for putting it there......(nag vs. creating an issue of desire) 

Get him working in the field and the opportunities will arise- 

come down off your self imposed MBA high horse.  I personally would take experience over  an MBA anyday - why - I doubt that you have any experience except for summer.  When I was in retailing years ago - I found out that the people who knew what was going on were the ones who had spent time on the floor for at least 3 years and all the BAs and MBAs just coming in had no clue as to what was going on.   

You said one thing right - You do need the experience, and your degree won't give you that at all.  Look at Oramost a Phd on the Apprentice - caught Lying on camera, because she thought that 'she' had it all - and about Troy McClain the high schooler - he almost out did them all. 

Your not going to like me but I detect you have a lot of 'academia' and not much common sense. 

I hold an AA degree in Accounting with 15 years of experience.  My degree gave me the basics, but it was the experience that taught me accounting, and how to read this and that.  Ok so you have good card sales - could be that that's what you should go into - Sales!  Too many companies want degree over experience or better yet - if you think you are that good - go independent. 

As far as academic sense - I would rather have tons of common/horse sense than rely upon academic sense.  On the apprentince when they had the book smarts vs street smarts - the street people were winning until they started infighting because of their egos.!!!!!  And the book smarts had to admit that they lacked creativity and street smarts.   

Retail is just not card sales - it's stocking, trends, customer service, etc, etc.  Based on what you say I don't think you have experience of much in any of these areas. 

If you can/have no problem with telling people to open a card - then maybe that's your field - remember successful people 'enjoy' what their doing - and you seem to enjoy this aspect of retailing - but remember - this is just one aspect.