Messages By: lucky35

Hi, he is doing it to be sweet. I do not really struggle with my weight. I have been a size 12 now for about five years. I was like an 8 or 10 in high school and I am almost 40. My family can be so negative towards my husband and he is the absolute best thing that has ever happened to me. Yes, I am the bread-winner (for now), but I also have a Masters degree. I would hope to make more money than anybody with less education. My husband is providing the insurance (medical and dental) right now for us both and I am sooooooooo thankful. It has been years since I have "been covered" being a student and all.

I love my husband sooooooo much and we truly, on a scale of 1 to 10, I would say our marriage is an 8. I made the mistake of calling my mom and sisters during one of our arguements and now they think we argue or fight all the time. It makes me mad because they are all married, so they KNOW that married life is a lot of hard work and dedication and it does not come without its ups and downs, but OVERALL, I am truly very happy!

My oldest sister thinks I am secretly gay because of a brief homosexual relationship I had when I was 18 and on drugs (extasy). It really pisses me off because she always makes these inuendos on the phone with me about lesbian sex (as if I want that). It makes me so mad because I feel my family may think my marriage is a hoax or something. But, me and my husband are so dedicated to each other and I can not wait to grow old with him. Trust me when you are on drugs you will sleep with just about anybody, but I am not gay and I do not even really consider myself bisexual anymore. Nevertheless, I want a relationship with a man and I do not ever want to live a "gay" lifestyle. Some gays believe this is not a lifestyle, but it is. I mean really, it is!

Thanks for your comments. Any more would be appreciated!!

You are right, some people truly can not choose between whether to be gay or not. I personally believe some people are born with more of the "gay gene" than others. For example, I have had homosexual encounters, but they always left me feeling very confused. I choose to be with a man because I enjoy the uncomplicated and confusing lifestyle.

Believe me I have seen some gay guys that no matter what they were born gay and could never be straight! Thanks for your advice with my sistser, also!

Hi, I am a singer as a hobby and I am looking to reform a successful group that I had in a major city back in the 90's. I have since relocated back to this major city and even hooked-up with one of my old band mates. The problem is all I do is sing and in my former project (in the 90's), I was the only lead singer.

My old bass player had a readily available drummer and guitar player to finish the band out. The problem is the drummer wants to also do some lead vocals. Should I allow this drummer to also sing some lead tunes? I guess I will just sit out whenever he is performing, but a part of me wants to do all of the songs (since I do not play another instrument), but I'm afraid if I go this route, the drummer will not want to play with me at all!

Would ya'll rather see a female band sharing the vocals or doing all 40 songs per show by herself, vocally?

Also, why can I not share the vocals without it being a problem?? I feel like I have to share the vocals simply because I am a woman. What do ya'll think?  Thank you!!!

Hi, I used to be a model with very vibrant eyes and a very good self-image of myself, but now that I am almost 40 years old. I feel like I have changed so much that I am embarrassed for people that I have not seen in a long time to see me.

I look really totally different than I used to. I used to be so pretty, I look OK now, but I feel like I look weird. My eyes do not look the same at all and I just feel like people think I'm weird now.

I hope and pray that people do not think that, but then I look at photos of me now or even in the mirror and I just feel like I look weird. I don't want to look this way, but I have changed the older I have gotten. Please help me deal with these feelings. Thank you.

I don't know, I just feel like I have changed from a very pretty young woman to a practically middle-aged woman...and it shows!

Hi, I have been married for 3 1/2 years and although my husband has never actually hit me, we have had some pretty serious shoving matches that have left me with body aches.

I don't want a divorce and overall my husband is a sweet guy, but I'm scared he may hurt me one day and I'll regret not leaving him sooner. I don't want to leave him and he has agreed to go to anger management, but when we get into heated arguements involving him shaking his fist at me and getting on top of me yelling, I am left depressed for several days afterwards.

Does anyone have any suggestions? He has never hit me, but he has made me feel like he would. I'm depressed over the fact that he would ever shove me around or yell at me and shake his fist. What should I do? Thank you.

I don't even try to defend myself! This is what is so stupid! I just let him do whatever. I am scared if I hit him to try and get him off of me, he will push even harder. If I was being attacked by a stranger, I would defend myself, so why not against my husband??!!

Thanks for your concern, but me and my husband have been really stressed out lately. We recently moved to a big city with little money and no furniture. The company he transfered with started treating him really bad, so he quit his job. I have been out of work for 3 months.

My husband does not deal with stress well and we have had some heated arguements and some pretty bad shoving and shouting matches, but I have talked to some of my girlfriends and they have gone through the same thing with their husband.

I remember Dr. Phil saying that you might as well make it work with the one you have, because the chances of it working with someone else is slim to none. We are a new couple just starting out. I would NEVER put up with him hitting me and I do not appreciate him pushing and yelling at me, but I think he has an issue with controlling his stress and probably needs professional help. At one time he took Paxil and he has had a nervous breakdown before.

I find myself pushing him and pushing him to the point that he breaks. I need to stop doing that. Overall, when things are going good, we have a good relationship. We have decided to not have children because we know how hard it is just between us two. We do not want to bring children into a relationship that is not anything but PERFECT. We both come from dysfunctional families and in theory we believe every child is raised in a dysfunctional family and we do not want to raise any children dysfunctionally.

I love him and I am going to try and work it out with him. Are you married, divorced, separtated?? Just curious. Thanks.

Hi, one of my oldest sisters is 3 years older than me, but acts like she is 30 years older than me. I am educated with a Masters degree and I waited until I was 34 yrs. old to get married. I married someone 7 years younger than me whom is the total opposite. I am very ambitious and athletic, my husband isn't so much.

My sister is on her fourth marriage and calls me several times a day or instant messages me and starts prying into my marriage by asking me all of these questions about my husband. I feel as if she is interfering. My husband recently lost his job and my sister calls me 4-5 times a day asking me what my husband is doing and if he is working yet and if not, why not?

I am so sick of her controlling my life and my marriage. What is the best way to handle this with her? She is very attached emotionally to us siblings. She calls us constantly every day and will never hang-up without saying "I love you" and sending kisses. It is kind of gross.

Although we are sisters, I certainly do not consider her my best friend or anything. She even stole my social security number and opened telephone accounts and never paid them. She seems to know all to well what is best for me, but she doesn't want to talk about the identity theft she did on me.

She acts like if she keeps pressuring me about my husband that I will eventually leave him, but the truth of the matter is, we are very committed to one another and I consider myself a much better person just to have known him.

Our marriage is not perfect, by any means, but we work on it every day and we are committed for the long haul. I definitely see myself with him when I am old and grey, but I worry about how my sister will behave towards him throughout the duration of our life/marriage together.

Any suggestions, please?!!! Thank you.