Messages By: klynmom

 My husband decided 2 months ago that he was leaving us for his freedom and to be single. The problem is, he will NEVER be single, we have 3 small kids. He is having an affair and I do have proof of that. He hasn't officially moved out because of financial reasons but he has no intention of coming back to us. For awhile he slept on the couch the nights he decided to come home but now he doesn't even sleep here just comes to see the kids, do his laundry and get clean clothes. We've worked out a schedule for him to come see the kids twice during the week and once on the weekend so I get a break from the kids too. What I am concerned about is my kids and their emotional state. My 3 1/2 year old has been acting out with temper tantrums and mean words, throwing toys, hitting & pushing. My almost 2 year old twins seem to be ok for the most part but they do know something is wrong. Some times after their time with dad the whole next day they are whiny and really clingy to me. I can't leave the room and they are upset and chasing me. My 3 1/2 year old is having issues when I leave him with somebody else probably in fear that I will leave him like his dad has. He asks all the time why daddy doesn't live with us anymore. I tell him that he can call daddy at any time, but he will NOT talk to him on the phone. When dad gets here he is excited to see dad. When I brought up the situation to my husband he said he doesn't see that the kids are messed up in any way, they are fine when he's around. Well, I think they melt down because they fear that I will leave too. I don't know what to do for them, what to tell them or how to react when they do act up. It's emotionally hard on me dealing with the break-up let alone the kids and their emotions. I try so hard to give them extra love and care but it doesn't matter how much I tell them that daddy loves them, he needs to show them that through his actions and he is a good dad he just is all into himself right now and this much ooder woman. HELP!!!!

Ok. I am not alone. In reading both of your stories, I now know I am not alone.  My husband of 8 years has decided he wants to be single and have his freedom. He is having an affair and I found out the same way - cell phone. He talked to her for over 900 minutes in one month. I confronted him, he said it was a client and they are friends and have a lot in common. Each month i would get the new phone bill and confront him again. He finally wised up and got a 2nd phone that I didn't know about. On our FAMILY vacation with my parents and siblings, he was calling her and e-mailing her. When we got home he decided he was leaving us. We have 3 small children at home and I have many of the same fears. I don't want to be alone, will my kids want to be with him instead of me, what will I do finacially, I am a stay at home mom with 3 small kids. Daycare is outrageous and we were finacially strapped when we were together. He was sleeping on the couch but the last few weeks doesn't come home at all for the night except a couple times a week that we agreed upon to see the kids. As soon as they go to bed and I come home he leaves.