11/21 Moms On The Verge
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Posted by: milmarz
Posted on: 2002-11-21 09:43:27
I couldn't finish watching the show because it reminded me of how I felt when my kids ( the age of today's parents on the show)were growing up. At first, I was going to say, it's because the mom's were a single parent with added burdens. Nope, not it because even marrieds have this problem. Some two parent homes, are like a single when the other spouse goes away , may be out of town, for his job and you're left alone. So it's not marital status. Then, I thought it's the lack of good parenting skills which weren't "caught" from their own parent. I tossed that out. Dr. Phil hits it on the head again. It's "about you". Our grandmothers and g-grandmoms had each other to talk to because there was the backyard fence. Maybe fences do make good neighbors. They had pressures too but handled it better because they had each other to talk to about their problems. Todays' pressures are maybe greater than our great grandparents, I don't know. After my kids were grown, then MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) came along where moms and kids come for a bible study, coffee, nursery provided. Our world is smaller and you know the song "don't fence me in". I have a hard time realizing it's me because I think of myself as a good person. It's too late for me now and I pray my kids do better than me. That's all I can do-Pray. I thought it was hormones/PMS-my Dr. said it's all in my head/no such thing as PMS. Well, that's my hindsight and I'm still learning. I wish these moms the best because their chil
Posted by: milmarz
Posted on: 2002-11-21 09:43:27
I couldn't finish watching the show because it reminded me of how I felt when my kids ( the age of today's parents on the show)were growing up. At first, I was going to say, it's because the mom's were a single parent with added burdens. Nope, not it because even marrieds have this problem. Some two parent homes, are like a single when the other spouse goes away , may be out of town, for his job and you're left alone. So it's not marital status. Then, I thought it's the lack of good parenting skills which weren't "caught" from their own parent. I tossed that out. Dr. Phil hits it on the head again. It's "about you". Our grandmothers and g-grandmoms had each other to talk to because there was the backyard fence. Maybe fences do make good neighbors. They had pressures too but handled it better because they had each other to talk to about their problems. Todays' pressures are maybe greater than our great grandparents, I don't know. After my kids were grown, then MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) came along where moms and kids come for a bible study, coffee, nursery provided. Our world is smaller and you know the song "don't fence me in". I have a hard time realizing it's me because I think of myself as a good person. It's too late for me now and I pray my kids do better than me. That's all I can do-Pray. I thought it was hormones/PMS-my Dr. said it's all in my head/no such thing as PMS. Well, that's my hindsight and I'm still learning. I wish these moms the best because their chil
Posted by: mims2000
Posted on: 2002-11-21 09:57:22
Milmarz if you want to pray for someone, you pray for the kids. They are the ones that suffer because their mothers don't have any control. I lived through that abuse, my mom used me as a punching bag, emotional battering ram - what have you. Now, its supposed to be okay because "oh everyone feels sooo guilty". Well, it isn't, kids from these families go through life not feeling safe anywhere. We are constantly lonely because we can trust ANYONE. Naturally we are unable to love, because in our minds we are completely unlovable. These are the kids you raise. This is your legacy.
Dear Mims
Posted by: milmarz
Posted on: 2002-11-21 10:11:13
I didn't go into the abuse I had to take but you are right on one point, we (you and me) constantly do not feel like we belong and unloveable. After all, if we were wanted, why would they hit us all the time, right? I endured much abuse but I "choose" to get on with my life in a BETTER, NOT BITTER way. When we cannot touch these people physically through television, all we can do is "PRAY" When I'm feeling sorry for myself, I do not "feel" like praying, but once I get started and even "scream" at God, after all, he too was human and understands our frailties, HE calms me down. Don't be afraid to tell him your problems in a way you just told me, He'll understand, too. It took me many years to get over my anger at my mother and father and I'm almost over the hump enough to realize that I must forgive them for my health's sake. Remember when Dr. Phil said it can harm YOUR health so it's for your sake not theirs. Please read David Pelzer's book, "A CHILD CALLED IT". First in a trilogy. He was the third worst case of child abuse "reported" in California. Even he still loved his mother through it all. I hope the years will heal your emotional wounds.
Posted by: milmarz
Posted on: 2002-11-21 10:11:13
I didn't go into the abuse I had to take but you are right on one point, we (you and me) constantly do not feel like we belong and unloveable. After all, if we were wanted, why would they hit us all the time, right? I endured much abuse but I "choose" to get on with my life in a BETTER, NOT BITTER way. When we cannot touch these people physically through television, all we can do is "PRAY" When I'm feeling sorry for myself, I do not "feel" like praying, but once I get started and even "scream" at God, after all, he too was human and understands our frailties, HE calms me down. Don't be afraid to tell him your problems in a way you just told me, He'll understand, too. It took me many years to get over my anger at my mother and father and I'm almost over the hump enough to realize that I must forgive them for my health's sake. Remember when Dr. Phil said it can harm YOUR health so it's for your sake not theirs. Please read David Pelzer's book, "A CHILD CALLED IT". First in a trilogy. He was the third worst case of child abuse "reported" in California. Even he still loved his mother through it all. I hope the years will heal your emotional wounds.
dear mimms
Posted by: keeperofus
Posted on: 2002-11-22 20:37:57
i am a mother of 4 kids and my oldest is 13,12, girls and 10-boy,31/2 months old boy and let me tell you all parents lose it once in awhile,but i never have done what these mothers are doing,that book your talking about THE CHILD CALLED IT,BY DAVID PELZER. he is the child who survivied his abusive mother and hes the expert on abuse and what not to do,i give thes moms alot of praise to come on national teleavtion for all the world to see and ask for help that takes guts i wish all those moms luck and they have a lot of hard work ahead of then cindy
Posted by: keeperofus
Posted on: 2002-11-22 20:37:57
i am a mother of 4 kids and my oldest is 13,12, girls and 10-boy,31/2 months old boy and let me tell you all parents lose it once in awhile,but i never have done what these mothers are doing,that book your talking about THE CHILD CALLED IT,BY DAVID PELZER. he is the child who survivied his abusive mother and hes the expert on abuse and what not to do,i give thes moms alot of praise to come on national teleavtion for all the world to see and ask for help that takes guts i wish all those moms luck and they have a lot of hard work ahead of then cindy
Posted by: momo75
Posted on: 2002-11-21 11:05:36
Mims...I am sorry that you were abused as a child. However, everyone that can feel this rage with their children were not abused. I had a wonderful childhood and family. People thought were the Cleaver's. The stresses of life is what cauuses the rage. I have never been this way until the past few months. I have always had patience with everyone. I was the most loving Mom to my daughter. Even after my son was born last year I wast still able to deal with the everyday pressures. People do not understand what it is like if they do not have children of their own. That is why I ask, do you have children at all? Also, no we don't belong in jail. I do not by any means abuse my children (physically). It is very scary to think that you could snap and hurt your child. That is why we look for help and why these women came on the show is to get help before it went too far. I have actually stopped myself from grabbing my daughter and hurting her, it wasn't really anything that bad that I was going to do but it was in anger. I realized what I was doing and I still ending up grabbing her arms but nowhere near as hard as would have if I hadn't realized what I was doing. I am sure what could be going on in a lot of situations is what is going on here. You are married (or you could be single)but you have so much pressure on you that you feel like a single mom. That is how I have been feeling for about the past 5 months or so. My husband is having to travel way too much as far as I am conerned
Posted by: areila
Posted on: 2002-11-21 15:30:17
I totally empathize with the women on the show today. I cannot stand children (I am only 21). When I'm in a store, and I hear a child, I have to walk away, because I'm overcome with the urge to just hurt the child. I've already made the decision that I will never have a child because I do not want to put anyone through abuse. I think this comes from my parents. They both had very short tempers, and I was often screamed at and sometimes hit. Their anger has carried on to me. I get frustrated at the tiniest things - for instance, if I'm trying to style my hair a certain way and it's not working, I will throw curling irons or hairbrushs around the bathroom and punch doors. I just wonder if the women on the show had these same kinds of frustrations before they had children, and if so, what made them think that they wouldn't have the same frustration with a child?
Areila99
Posted by: lindav44
Posted on: 2002-11-21 17:05:33
I too have a problem with my hair.Im 44 and raised 2 wonderful children.I was like the ladies on the show.It took me 3 Shrinks. and a lot of years to realize what my problem was.My abusive mother and a Husband that did not Care. A lot of years have passed and I now realize It wasn't me but the people in my life. Dr. Phil's book Self Matters really helped me tremendously.My mom has been gone for 25 years and I forgive her.My husband is long gone.Remember love those who love you,and just tolerate the rest.Good Luck
Posted by: lindav44
Posted on: 2002-11-21 17:05:33
I too have a problem with my hair.Im 44 and raised 2 wonderful children.I was like the ladies on the show.It took me 3 Shrinks. and a lot of years to realize what my problem was.My abusive mother and a Husband that did not Care. A lot of years have passed and I now realize It wasn't me but the people in my life. Dr. Phil's book Self Matters really helped me tremendously.My mom has been gone for 25 years and I forgive her.My husband is long gone.Remember love those who love you,and just tolerate the rest.Good Luck
good question
Posted by: roseaball
Posted on: 2002-11-22 03:15:06
I too was raised with a screamer. My father was the opposite, but my Mother was a screamer and a hitter when I was younger. I don't remember much of that, because she quit hitting and "just" yelled. As I grew, I became exactly what you describe, very short tempered..."poor impulse control" as I have heard Phil describe. I have worked my ass off to be different, but let me tell you, I was nieve to think that I would do so much better, as I dreamed I would. I really respect your choice, to not have kids. I really do, because in my nievety, I felt I could give a child a great life, and everything I wished I had. Now I am NOT giving up on that hope. I can't, because they deserve that. Still, to change that part of me, is the most difficult struggle of my life. I now have twin girls and they are my heartbeat, but I have really struggled with my anger. I even raised an ADHD stepson for several years, and you would think that would have stopped me from having kids. I am really not a "kid person" either, but I sure love mine and that is why I am on this board and never going to give up on doing right by them. You are very smart to not have kids right now, because you have done what a lot of us didn't have the courage to do, which I must admit was a very selfish thing...You were honest with yourself. I just hope that you don't give up on becoming whole for yourself, developing coping skills and getting the healing that you need.
Posted by: roseaball
Posted on: 2002-11-22 03:15:06
I too was raised with a screamer. My father was the opposite, but my Mother was a screamer and a hitter when I was younger. I don't remember much of that, because she quit hitting and "just" yelled. As I grew, I became exactly what you describe, very short tempered..."poor impulse control" as I have heard Phil describe. I have worked my ass off to be different, but let me tell you, I was nieve to think that I would do so much better, as I dreamed I would. I really respect your choice, to not have kids. I really do, because in my nievety, I felt I could give a child a great life, and everything I wished I had. Now I am NOT giving up on that hope. I can't, because they deserve that. Still, to change that part of me, is the most difficult struggle of my life. I now have twin girls and they are my heartbeat, but I have really struggled with my anger. I even raised an ADHD stepson for several years, and you would think that would have stopped me from having kids. I am really not a "kid person" either, but I sure love mine and that is why I am on this board and never going to give up on doing right by them. You are very smart to not have kids right now, because you have done what a lot of us didn't have the courage to do, which I must admit was a very selfish thing...You were honest with yourself. I just hope that you don't give up on becoming whole for yourself, developing coping skills and getting the healing that you need.
EXACTLY
Posted by: istayhome
Posted on: 2002-11-27 19:27:49
I think some people need to think twice before having kids. Although some kids are a surprise, like mine. I was a preschool teacher for two years before I HAD to quit. These kids are out of control! I could not handle them. Even with my early childhood degree, I had no idea what to do about some of these kids. Is it the children? Is it the parents? I think things are way too lax these days and rules, manners, morals, and social behavior is so lacking almost to zero. It's really all of us. The whole world has changed and so have our children and their children. We are absolutely out of control. I have one child. I quit my job to stay home. We were very poor for a while but it is so worth it. But I know how these parents lose it with kids. I have never lost it with mine but I could have spanked a few butts in my classroom. Thank God I never did. To all those parents who feel the urge to hit or lose control, just think twice and imagine being that childs age. They don't always get it ya know. They cannot alway express themselves the way they want to and sometimes they just don't know what to do with themselves. They need to be taught how to act and they WILL act just like YOU! So watch yourself. If you are loud and crazy, your child will be too. If you are calm, soothing, relaxed, and together, your child will be too.
Posted by: istayhome
Posted on: 2002-11-27 19:27:49
I think some people need to think twice before having kids. Although some kids are a surprise, like mine. I was a preschool teacher for two years before I HAD to quit. These kids are out of control! I could not handle them. Even with my early childhood degree, I had no idea what to do about some of these kids. Is it the children? Is it the parents? I think things are way too lax these days and rules, manners, morals, and social behavior is so lacking almost to zero. It's really all of us. The whole world has changed and so have our children and their children. We are absolutely out of control. I have one child. I quit my job to stay home. We were very poor for a while but it is so worth it. But I know how these parents lose it with kids. I have never lost it with mine but I could have spanked a few butts in my classroom. Thank God I never did. To all those parents who feel the urge to hit or lose control, just think twice and imagine being that childs age. They don't always get it ya know. They cannot alway express themselves the way they want to and sometimes they just don't know what to do with themselves. They need to be taught how to act and they WILL act just like YOU! So watch yourself. If you are loud and crazy, your child will be too. If you are calm, soothing, relaxed, and together, your child will be too.
A single mother
Posted by: nicolerb
Posted on: 2003-08-13 23:37:08
I am a 23 year old single mother with a 1 year old son. I am still living at home with my parents. Crazy, yes I know but I take care of my mother and my son. My mother is very sick. She's on oxygen and she's not able to do anything. So, I get really stressed out. I have noticed that I get up in my little boys face and scream at him to do something when he sometimes doesn't understand what I am saying. I get so mad at him when things don't go my way. Am I as horrible as I think I am? I am trying to be a good single mother. I don't know what to think or do!
Posted by: nicolerb
Posted on: 2003-08-13 23:37:08
I am a 23 year old single mother with a 1 year old son. I am still living at home with my parents. Crazy, yes I know but I take care of my mother and my son. My mother is very sick. She's on oxygen and she's not able to do anything. So, I get really stressed out. I have noticed that I get up in my little boys face and scream at him to do something when he sometimes doesn't understand what I am saying. I get so mad at him when things don't go my way. Am I as horrible as I think I am? I am trying to be a good single mother. I don't know what to think or do!
Breath
Posted by: angeradict
Posted on: 2004-09-26 09:07:18
Even those of us who are not single mothers, get this way.
Go buy a very large pillow or two, and first go outside, with an egg timer, sit your perfect little angle, in front of the tv or let him cry at the door, and stay outside, for 3 mins, give yourself a time out. Then go get a couple of pillows and have a safe, fun pillow fight with your kiddo, or try blowing on his tummy, or tickle him, it's really hard to be angry with your child no matter what has happened if they are laughing.
I found myself yelling at my child over stuff other people did.
When I felt guilty about that, I moved on to yelling at my fiance. Hey it made since, he is older and can deal with it better.
I've since started noticeing what the problem is and trying to work on it. Make a chart, and get you some stars, and every day that you don't yell at him give yourself a star.
* heck you need a medal*
Just remember Only one in a billion sperm becomes a baby.
He is your world, no one in this world will love you more then your son.
I wrote down a line from the movie the crow to remind me not to take out my anger on my child.
"Mother is the word for God on the lips and Hearts of All children"
Posted by: angeradict
Posted on: 2004-09-26 09:07:18
Even those of us who are not single mothers, get this way.
Go buy a very large pillow or two, and first go outside, with an egg timer, sit your perfect little angle, in front of the tv or let him cry at the door, and stay outside, for 3 mins, give yourself a time out. Then go get a couple of pillows and have a safe, fun pillow fight with your kiddo, or try blowing on his tummy, or tickle him, it's really hard to be angry with your child no matter what has happened if they are laughing.
I found myself yelling at my child over stuff other people did.
When I felt guilty about that, I moved on to yelling at my fiance. Hey it made since, he is older and can deal with it better.
I've since started noticeing what the problem is and trying to work on it. Make a chart, and get you some stars, and every day that you don't yell at him give yourself a star.
* heck you need a medal*
Just remember Only one in a billion sperm becomes a baby.
He is your world, no one in this world will love you more then your son.
I wrote down a line from the movie the crow to remind me not to take out my anger on my child.
"Mother is the word for God on the lips and Hearts of All children"
BE LUCKY YOU HAVE A HUSBAND
Posted by: cmati08
Posted on: 2002-11-21 18:50:52
I really try not to bash people becuase we all have problems. Be lucky you have a husband that pays the bills and you have a roof over your head! Now you have to give and take in life .. You cant have it all. Even people have to make choices. I wish all i had to worry about is having a husband gone all the time. If there is a better job for him that find it for him. And the children out them in daycare and get a job. Even if it part time so that way you can interact with "Adults" and when you come home and see your children the angry isnt there as much. I wish I was in your shoes. Try living someone elses life and it make you feel grateful for the things we take advantage of. Also be lucky your hcildren are not mentally ill like mine are. Shoving medication down them 2 to 3 times a day having them act uo in public and talk to you like you are another kid in school. Bipolar child are difficult children and it is a long term illness.. Try waking up to this eveyday..And not having there fathers in there life to share this "wonderful experience" that we as parents forget. I wish you well and you solution is easy to fix . Go visit a "psy" once a week and youll be fine. Not getting enough sleep is hell for anyone..Best of luck and i truely mean that.
Posted by: cmati08
Posted on: 2002-11-21 18:50:52
I really try not to bash people becuase we all have problems. Be lucky you have a husband that pays the bills and you have a roof over your head! Now you have to give and take in life .. You cant have it all. Even people have to make choices. I wish all i had to worry about is having a husband gone all the time. If there is a better job for him that find it for him. And the children out them in daycare and get a job. Even if it part time so that way you can interact with "Adults" and when you come home and see your children the angry isnt there as much. I wish I was in your shoes. Try living someone elses life and it make you feel grateful for the things we take advantage of. Also be lucky your hcildren are not mentally ill like mine are. Shoving medication down them 2 to 3 times a day having them act uo in public and talk to you like you are another kid in school. Bipolar child are difficult children and it is a long term illness.. Try waking up to this eveyday..And not having there fathers in there life to share this "wonderful experience" that we as parents forget. I wish you well and you solution is easy to fix . Go visit a "psy" once a week and youll be fine. Not getting enough sleep is hell for anyone..Best of luck and i truely mean that.
missed the point lucky to have a husband
Posted by: scduke
Posted on: 2002-11-22 08:51:44
Be lucky you have a husband, I am very sorry for all the trials you have in your life but i think and only think that your message is not coming accross right! The show was not on the trials that we face in life but the way we handle them. Normally, people have coping skills but some of us have a lower degree. It was more about the point where you snap not by chioce but a unlearned control skill and Dr.Phil was giving skills to take that control back! I really felt that you message was more of a pity party problems can be crutch or ladder you can lean on it or climb over them it is not easy but it is a mind set. I am not preaching i walk it too I am not rich i get up every day make a fire to heat my house make suppers from nothing, skip lunch and try to be good to my 3 kids life not easy but it is all we have and you are the only one who can change it and i do have a husband who works hard and provides the all he can one day your going to wake up and realize life has past you by did enjoy the simple things or did you mourn about the bad things food for thought only a opinion not meant to hurt anyones feeling look up not down!
Posted by: scduke
Posted on: 2002-11-22 08:51:44
Be lucky you have a husband, I am very sorry for all the trials you have in your life but i think and only think that your message is not coming accross right! The show was not on the trials that we face in life but the way we handle them. Normally, people have coping skills but some of us have a lower degree. It was more about the point where you snap not by chioce but a unlearned control skill and Dr.Phil was giving skills to take that control back! I really felt that you message was more of a pity party problems can be crutch or ladder you can lean on it or climb over them it is not easy but it is a mind set. I am not preaching i walk it too I am not rich i get up every day make a fire to heat my house make suppers from nothing, skip lunch and try to be good to my 3 kids life not easy but it is all we have and you are the only one who can change it and i do have a husband who works hard and provides the all he can one day your going to wake up and realize life has past you by did enjoy the simple things or did you mourn about the bad things food for thought only a opinion not meant to hurt anyones feeling look up not down!
no, i think you missed the point here
Posted by: seekingood
Posted on: 2002-11-22 21:43:39
i really think you missed the point here....dr phil is saying that you made the "choice" in a moment of the starting of a raging to "allow" yourself to lose control.......just like madeleine toogood who looked around first to see if anyone was looking before she struck her child multiple times........she had a moment there where she could've made a different choice, but she "chose" not to make the right choice.....i realize people dont always have the skills to know how to handle themselves and there is a learning process needed there to help themselves do better.....but it is a "choice" the person makes in that split second whether or not to allow themseves to lose control or not.......it is tough to raise kids and i would really imagine that most all moms at some point or another have lost control for a time, but each person has to take responsibility for it - it is a choice - i applaud these women on the show that they came for help and hope that they have success as they realy want to change this part of themselves........
Posted by: seekingood
Posted on: 2002-11-22 21:43:39
i really think you missed the point here....dr phil is saying that you made the "choice" in a moment of the starting of a raging to "allow" yourself to lose control.......just like madeleine toogood who looked around first to see if anyone was looking before she struck her child multiple times........she had a moment there where she could've made a different choice, but she "chose" not to make the right choice.....i realize people dont always have the skills to know how to handle themselves and there is a learning process needed there to help themselves do better.....but it is a "choice" the person makes in that split second whether or not to allow themseves to lose control or not.......it is tough to raise kids and i would really imagine that most all moms at some point or another have lost control for a time, but each person has to take responsibility for it - it is a choice - i applaud these women on the show that they came for help and hope that they have success as they realy want to change this part of themselves........
who are you addressing this to ?
Posted by: cmati08
Posted on: 2002-11-22 22:03:19
When I responded to the mother addressing her issues about being alone because of her husband. etc.. My point was that there is always someone out there that is worse off in life and even with my situation there is still someone that is worse off than me. I didnt address to her about angry etc. I was trying to give her some ideas that may help if she is having trouble with the children. I dont think you read my responce very well.
Posted by: cmati08
Posted on: 2002-11-22 22:03:19
When I responded to the mother addressing her issues about being alone because of her husband. etc.. My point was that there is always someone out there that is worse off in life and even with my situation there is still someone that is worse off than me. I didnt address to her about angry etc. I was trying to give her some ideas that may help if she is having trouble with the children. I dont think you read my responce very well.
to cma
Posted by: iamchoice
Posted on: 2002-11-23 09:52:41
I think the POINT of the show.. wasn't to evaluate 'circumstaces'.. but to see the behavior.. change the behavior.. and get long term help. For EACH individual.. the 'circumstances' that may contribute to high stress may be different, and some of those will be addressed in counseling: ( for example: If one has little support, how to build more support ) "being married" has very little to do with one's support system, sometimes. It's not about being 'grateful' for what you DO have, it's about increasing the things that are deficient in one's unique situation ( skills, support ) that will produce positive results in parenting ability/behavior!
Posted by: iamchoice
Posted on: 2002-11-23 09:52:41
I think the POINT of the show.. wasn't to evaluate 'circumstaces'.. but to see the behavior.. change the behavior.. and get long term help. For EACH individual.. the 'circumstances' that may contribute to high stress may be different, and some of those will be addressed in counseling: ( for example: If one has little support, how to build more support ) "being married" has very little to do with one's support system, sometimes. It's not about being 'grateful' for what you DO have, it's about increasing the things that are deficient in one's unique situation ( skills, support ) that will produce positive results in parenting ability/behavior!
i think you dont seeing my point either iamchoice
Posted by: cmati08
Posted on: 2002-11-23 16:26:58
being greatful is also being positive. and if you read all of my messges that you would have put 2 and 2 together . I felt that i clairfed my responce to the email and the mother going through a hard time and if you noticed i was trying to expalin to her that some mothers work part time as a coping method (like a support system) . And in refernece to the husband ... To many women are so quick to jump on the men and blame them for everything and this is the impression that i received from the message she sent. You may have read it differently.I even explained myself in another message. I respect your opinion but it doesnt mean i have to agee with it !!!
Posted by: cmati08
Posted on: 2002-11-23 16:26:58
being greatful is also being positive. and if you read all of my messges that you would have put 2 and 2 together . I felt that i clairfed my responce to the email and the mother going through a hard time and if you noticed i was trying to expalin to her that some mothers work part time as a coping method (like a support system) . And in refernece to the husband ... To many women are so quick to jump on the men and blame them for everything and this is the impression that i received from the message she sent. You may have read it differently.I even explained myself in another message. I respect your opinion but it doesnt mean i have to agee with it !!!
my poin to you scduke
Posted by: cmati08
Posted on: 2002-11-22 21:49:48
was that there was another way of you coping. Like getting a job etc. Another way to chanell your frustration. i am not giving myself a pity party. I wanted you to realize that there is always someone out there worse than you. And yes I have 3 children also. all girls . I dont feel sorry for myself . I am blessed that my children are not ill or handicaped like cancer or other serious illness. And my point of mentioning you husband was because you made it like your husband dumps the kids on you and you have no way out. I see the other side of men that work hard to support there families and sometimes they lack support in other areas. We all have problems this is life and yes we all need to stop and reflect what is important to use. And we all need to realize we are blessed in one way or another. Maybe not the way we want or wished for. P.S. My feelings are not hurt. I respect your feelings but it doesnt mean i have to agree on them. Thank goodness for freedom of speach . Take care
Posted by: cmati08
Posted on: 2002-11-22 21:49:48
was that there was another way of you coping. Like getting a job etc. Another way to chanell your frustration. i am not giving myself a pity party. I wanted you to realize that there is always someone out there worse than you. And yes I have 3 children also. all girls . I dont feel sorry for myself . I am blessed that my children are not ill or handicaped like cancer or other serious illness. And my point of mentioning you husband was because you made it like your husband dumps the kids on you and you have no way out. I see the other side of men that work hard to support there families and sometimes they lack support in other areas. We all have problems this is life and yes we all need to stop and reflect what is important to use. And we all need to realize we are blessed in one way or another. Maybe not the way we want or wished for. P.S. My feelings are not hurt. I respect your feelings but it doesnt mean i have to agree on them. Thank goodness for freedom of speach . Take care
Lucky to have husband?
Posted by: ladyday1
Posted on: 2002-11-23 02:56:13
This makes no sense. Do you think that helps the kids while they are being abused?
Posted by: ladyday1
Posted on: 2002-11-23 02:56:13
This makes no sense. Do you think that helps the kids while they are being abused?
Lucky? Husband? Sick Kids? Job? Help!
Posted by: karyl2
Posted on: 2002-11-23 20:44:39
Clearly we all have problems, as mothers on the verge! There is no point in discussing whose problems are worse. We're here to support each other. Discussing our circumstances is relevant in that they (the circumstances) can be the very thing that pushes us over the edge.
The support I want to offer is that we can make gentle suggestions to each other on how each of us can help our own situation. Identifying the key sources of our frustration (which could turn into rage) is part of the big picture. Everyone is different so their approach will be different as well. I truly understand what each of you are communicating. It's not easy raising children who are ill or children whose father is rarely home or having to stretch your budget. It is very overwhelming. Isn't it wonderful that we have this message board to share our frustrations instead of taking it out on our children. Hugs to all of you and your children! ...Karyl2
Posted by: karyl2
Posted on: 2002-11-23 20:44:39
Clearly we all have problems, as mothers on the verge! There is no point in discussing whose problems are worse. We're here to support each other. Discussing our circumstances is relevant in that they (the circumstances) can be the very thing that pushes us over the edge.
The support I want to offer is that we can make gentle suggestions to each other on how each of us can help our own situation. Identifying the key sources of our frustration (which could turn into rage) is part of the big picture. Everyone is different so their approach will be different as well. I truly understand what each of you are communicating. It's not easy raising children who are ill or children whose father is rarely home or having to stretch your budget. It is very overwhelming. Isn't it wonderful that we have this message board to share our frustrations instead of taking it out on our children. Hugs to all of you and your children! ...Karyl2
