07/30 How To...With Husbands
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Posted by: jjwatching
Posted on: 2003-02-05 08:08:03
I admit, that my 'laziness' gets in the way of my life, AND I hardly ever want to speak at all, I know it affects MANY in my life, and now, I AM trying MY BEST, to make changes...
Because in the long run, when I make the changes, I need to... MANY WILL BE HAPPIER FOR IT.. (especially ME).
Posted by: jjwatching
Posted on: 2003-02-05 08:08:03
I admit, that my 'laziness' gets in the way of my life, AND I hardly ever want to speak at all, I know it affects MANY in my life, and now, I AM trying MY BEST, to make changes...
Because in the long run, when I make the changes, I need to... MANY WILL BE HAPPIER FOR IT.. (especially ME).
The Show
Posted by: cotton101
Posted on: 2003-02-05 09:48:22
I must admit that I was ready to charge the TV and attempt to strangle the husband who figured his wife did nothing and did not share in the household responsibilities...when he said it 'was her job' to take care of the kids and house I near picked up a large heavy object to throw at the tv screen.
I am....a male, with a son, I 'gasp' do help with the housework, I vacuum, do the dishes, make the bed, change our son's diaper(which I've done since he was born) and cook.(oh by the way, the husband with the BBQ sauce on the ice cream....YUCK!).
Now I understand the need to unwind after work, we all need time to do that. But to not help out at all...I'd hoped that that old thing bout the man works and the woman has kids and takes care of house, kids and husband was dead and burried...guess I was wrong!
Dominique Schwartz
New Brunswick, Canada
Posted by: cotton101
Posted on: 2003-02-05 09:48:22
I must admit that I was ready to charge the TV and attempt to strangle the husband who figured his wife did nothing and did not share in the household responsibilities...when he said it 'was her job' to take care of the kids and house I near picked up a large heavy object to throw at the tv screen.
I am....a male, with a son, I 'gasp' do help with the housework, I vacuum, do the dishes, make the bed, change our son's diaper(which I've done since he was born) and cook.(oh by the way, the husband with the BBQ sauce on the ice cream....YUCK!).
Now I understand the need to unwind after work, we all need time to do that. But to not help out at all...I'd hoped that that old thing bout the man works and the woman has kids and takes care of house, kids and husband was dead and burried...guess I was wrong!
Dominique Schwartz
New Brunswick, Canada
To Dominique Schwartz
Posted by: paulamm
Posted on: 2003-02-05 12:52:19
My hat is off to you Dominique!!!!!!!!! I know that there are other men like you, but unfortunately, they are few and far between. Keep up the good work. Your wife is a lucky lady, and will never know the resentment felt by women whose husband are not willing to pitch in.
Posted by: paulamm
Posted on: 2003-02-05 12:52:19
My hat is off to you Dominique!!!!!!!!! I know that there are other men like you, but unfortunately, they are few and far between. Keep up the good work. Your wife is a lucky lady, and will never know the resentment felt by women whose husband are not willing to pitch in.
Just look
Posted by: alwaystry
Posted on: 2003-02-05 17:10:42
Don't be so quick to say "few and far between". I am a 46 year old man who cleans, budgets, does laundry and has all the kitchen goodies and knows how to use them. I just got engaged two weeks ago and plan on being a partner, not a burden to my wife. There really are many more like me out there, you just have to look. It is not unlike what you must do in order to find a good woman.
Posted by: alwaystry
Posted on: 2003-02-05 17:10:42
Don't be so quick to say "few and far between". I am a 46 year old man who cleans, budgets, does laundry and has all the kitchen goodies and knows how to use them. I just got engaged two weeks ago and plan on being a partner, not a burden to my wife. There really are many more like me out there, you just have to look. It is not unlike what you must do in order to find a good woman.
alwaystry
Posted by: janislf
Posted on: 2003-02-05 21:08:36
Thanks alwaystry. I knew there were others out there like you. I happen to have a husband that is similar to you. In our 22 years of marriage he has always helped me whether we both were working full time or I was at home for a while with the children. Best wishes on your engagement and marriage. janislf
Posted by: janislf
Posted on: 2003-02-05 21:08:36
Thanks alwaystry. I knew there were others out there like you. I happen to have a husband that is similar to you. In our 22 years of marriage he has always helped me whether we both were working full time or I was at home for a while with the children. Best wishes on your engagement and marriage. janislf
Why Should he help?
Posted by: fluffyfat
Posted on: 2003-07-30 09:45:08
I'm a full time housewife whose husband never helps and I don't think he should. He works ten hours a day and I work much less than that. I clean the house from top to bottom in three hours once a week. Daily clean-up is about an hour. I spend about an hour a day cooking and doing dishes, an hour on laundry. One hour for shopping a few times a week. Pet care, law mowing, taking out trash, all are worked into my schedule, plus child care for one. My house is always spotless and my laundry caught up, yet I'm almost always completely done with chores (except for dinner) by noon. I have time for reading, watching TV and exercise in the afternoon while my husband is still at work. Why should he come home and do chores that anyone with an ounce of efficiency should have done that morning? I knew this man's wife was full of it when she said that she works 24 hours a day. Come on, she doesn't sleep? I think there are a lot of lazy women out there these days. She may not be eating bonbons but she's obviously watching Dr. Phil and doing a lot of goofing off. If her husband did that at his job he would be fired.
Posted by: fluffyfat
Posted on: 2003-07-30 09:45:08
I'm a full time housewife whose husband never helps and I don't think he should. He works ten hours a day and I work much less than that. I clean the house from top to bottom in three hours once a week. Daily clean-up is about an hour. I spend about an hour a day cooking and doing dishes, an hour on laundry. One hour for shopping a few times a week. Pet care, law mowing, taking out trash, all are worked into my schedule, plus child care for one. My house is always spotless and my laundry caught up, yet I'm almost always completely done with chores (except for dinner) by noon. I have time for reading, watching TV and exercise in the afternoon while my husband is still at work. Why should he come home and do chores that anyone with an ounce of efficiency should have done that morning? I knew this man's wife was full of it when she said that she works 24 hours a day. Come on, she doesn't sleep? I think there are a lot of lazy women out there these days. She may not be eating bonbons but she's obviously watching Dr. Phil and doing a lot of goofing off. If her husband did that at his job he would be fired.
Bravo!
Posted by: mollysdad
Posted on: 2003-07-30 13:54:46
Finally someone willing to be honest. But don't get me wrong, I think at the very least childcare IS the responsibility of both parents and any guy who doesn't take every opportunity is really missing out. I fairly often stay home with our daughter when she's sick or child care falls through or take her about once a week to bond and give the wife time to herself. I don't know what the deal is here. I find this to be the most relaxing, fulfilling, rewarding time I ever get to spend. And I agree with you -- when there's one child, anyway. Everything gets done fairly easily: shopping(we have a blast doing this), cooking, cleaning, laundry and even a pretty fair amount of time to take a little "field trip" with her or extended periods of play.
Posted by: mollysdad
Posted on: 2003-07-30 13:54:46
Finally someone willing to be honest. But don't get me wrong, I think at the very least childcare IS the responsibility of both parents and any guy who doesn't take every opportunity is really missing out. I fairly often stay home with our daughter when she's sick or child care falls through or take her about once a week to bond and give the wife time to herself. I don't know what the deal is here. I find this to be the most relaxing, fulfilling, rewarding time I ever get to spend. And I agree with you -- when there's one child, anyway. Everything gets done fairly easily: shopping(we have a blast doing this), cooking, cleaning, laundry and even a pretty fair amount of time to take a little "field trip" with her or extended periods of play.
two things
Posted by: mollysdad
Posted on: 2003-07-30 14:00:05
I think there's two things many of these women need to realize. First, have you ever thought that maybe you don't know how to appreciate and have fun with your kids? Maybe you're looking at them as just another chore or responsibility. These are RELATIONSHIPS built during everything from diaper changing to playing pretend. These are not CHORES, they're OPPORTUNITIES. Second, guess how it feels to not even have the choice to stay home and know that forever you never will. My wife often mentions the possibility of quitting her job to stay home if we can ever afford it. It never even occurs to her to ask me if I'd like to take a turn at that. Know why? Because she takes what I do for granted like so many other wives and mothers take for granted what their men DO while focusing on what they DON'T DO.
Posted by: mollysdad
Posted on: 2003-07-30 14:00:05
I think there's two things many of these women need to realize. First, have you ever thought that maybe you don't know how to appreciate and have fun with your kids? Maybe you're looking at them as just another chore or responsibility. These are RELATIONSHIPS built during everything from diaper changing to playing pretend. These are not CHORES, they're OPPORTUNITIES. Second, guess how it feels to not even have the choice to stay home and know that forever you never will. My wife often mentions the possibility of quitting her job to stay home if we can ever afford it. It never even occurs to her to ask me if I'd like to take a turn at that. Know why? Because she takes what I do for granted like so many other wives and mothers take for granted what their men DO while focusing on what they DON'T DO.
Reply
Posted by: deniselac
Posted on: 2003-08-05 09:50:56
Hi, this is Denise, from the show, and first of all I want to point out that the Dr. Phil show neglected to mention that I work from home, so not only is it my job to keep the house clean and watch after 2 kids all day, cook dinner, do laundry, etc., I work when the kids go to bed, or take their naps. I am not the most organized person, I never said I was, and maybe I don't WORK 24 hours a day, but I am on call 24 hours a day. Our 4 year old still doesn't sleep through the night, and who do you think gets up with him? I do, and with the baby when she's sick, and then be up all day to get work done, and make sure the house is clean and dinner ready (and I cook every night, we don't eat out) and then my husband comes home and takes a nap regardless of how I feel or how much sleep I had. Then on to the computer. He spends very little time with me or the kids. He has gotten a little better since the show as far as spending time with the kids, he takes 2 nights off the computer a week, but he still takes naps and doesn't do his chores. Which is all I asked of him, his 2 chores, I don't expect him to scrub toilets and mop floors. He has the trash and the yard, and you should see both of those right now.
Posted by: deniselac
Posted on: 2003-08-05 09:50:56
Hi, this is Denise, from the show, and first of all I want to point out that the Dr. Phil show neglected to mention that I work from home, so not only is it my job to keep the house clean and watch after 2 kids all day, cook dinner, do laundry, etc., I work when the kids go to bed, or take their naps. I am not the most organized person, I never said I was, and maybe I don't WORK 24 hours a day, but I am on call 24 hours a day. Our 4 year old still doesn't sleep through the night, and who do you think gets up with him? I do, and with the baby when she's sick, and then be up all day to get work done, and make sure the house is clean and dinner ready (and I cook every night, we don't eat out) and then my husband comes home and takes a nap regardless of how I feel or how much sleep I had. Then on to the computer. He spends very little time with me or the kids. He has gotten a little better since the show as far as spending time with the kids, he takes 2 nights off the computer a week, but he still takes naps and doesn't do his chores. Which is all I asked of him, his 2 chores, I don't expect him to scrub toilets and mop floors. He has the trash and the yard, and you should see both of those right now.
Amen Sister!!!!
Posted by: kshamoo
Posted on: 2003-08-09 21:53:21
I also am a stay at home mom with FOUR children. I know how lucky I am to stay at home with them. They won't always be this age. one of my children is a non-verbal sever Autistic 10 year old young lady. I am so tired of hearing a mom with "quote" a normal child crying about a hubby not lifting a hand. Why in the heck should he? He is working for you.... Try taking care of a severley handicapped child who defacates around the house, keeps you up all night and still manage a hot meal on the table for hubby & spending quality time with the children. I think these wives don't appreciate the hard work their hubby's do for them. And yes I keep my house just as spotless as the next. My thought I made these beautiful gifts from Heaven why not enjoy them and hubby too if you do you will have much less time to complain! Enjoy your life someone always has it harder it is the only one we get!
warm regards all,
kathleen
Posted by: kshamoo
Posted on: 2003-08-09 21:53:21
I also am a stay at home mom with FOUR children. I know how lucky I am to stay at home with them. They won't always be this age. one of my children is a non-verbal sever Autistic 10 year old young lady. I am so tired of hearing a mom with "quote" a normal child crying about a hubby not lifting a hand. Why in the heck should he? He is working for you.... Try taking care of a severley handicapped child who defacates around the house, keeps you up all night and still manage a hot meal on the table for hubby & spending quality time with the children. I think these wives don't appreciate the hard work their hubby's do for them. And yes I keep my house just as spotless as the next. My thought I made these beautiful gifts from Heaven why not enjoy them and hubby too if you do you will have much less time to complain! Enjoy your life someone always has it harder it is the only one we get!
warm regards all,
kathleen
Must Be Nice!!!!!
Posted by: allyfare25
Posted on: 2003-10-24 01:20:35
I take great offence 2 what you just wrote. My Husband works 8 hrs and drives 4 and I think he should help some. I dont want him 2 come home & do my job. I do work 24hrs a day. I admit I am lazy but everything that is done is done my me. I cook every bite that is ate. I wash every stich of clothes that is wore. I give every bit of medicine that is taken and Im the one that gets up in the middel of the night 4 a bottel.I change every diaper that is changed. I clean every bit of puke that is thrown up. I wipe every booger that is sneezed out.I have worked full time as a nurse aide in a nursing home 11-7 with a todler that sat up all day and everything was still my responsability. When he is off he sleeps as long as he wants and goes where he wants. I cant and most women cant either. I thing most outside work is a mans job and Im not gonna do it. All day long I hear mommy a million times and screming of an infant the rest. The only time I have 2 myself if after every 1 goes 2 sleep. My house is no where near spotless & anyone that doesnt like my dirty house can leave. My home isnt all peaches n cream like yours is. Since I dont work the house is more of my job but a 5 min break would be nice.
Posted by: allyfare25
Posted on: 2003-10-24 01:20:35
I take great offence 2 what you just wrote. My Husband works 8 hrs and drives 4 and I think he should help some. I dont want him 2 come home & do my job. I do work 24hrs a day. I admit I am lazy but everything that is done is done my me. I cook every bite that is ate. I wash every stich of clothes that is wore. I give every bit of medicine that is taken and Im the one that gets up in the middel of the night 4 a bottel.I change every diaper that is changed. I clean every bit of puke that is thrown up. I wipe every booger that is sneezed out.I have worked full time as a nurse aide in a nursing home 11-7 with a todler that sat up all day and everything was still my responsability. When he is off he sleeps as long as he wants and goes where he wants. I cant and most women cant either. I thing most outside work is a mans job and Im not gonna do it. All day long I hear mommy a million times and screming of an infant the rest. The only time I have 2 myself if after every 1 goes 2 sleep. My house is no where near spotless & anyone that doesnt like my dirty house can leave. My home isnt all peaches n cream like yours is. Since I dont work the house is more of my job but a 5 min break would be nice.
it is our job
Posted by: mommy0124
Posted on: 2003-07-30 17:39:41
I had such a problem with the husband that didn't help out around the house . My husband is the same way but I do work only part time I think that what men don't understand about housewifes is that they get to leave there job and come home but we don't , we are on duty 24 hours a day 7 days a week .
Posted by: mommy0124
Posted on: 2003-07-30 17:39:41
I had such a problem with the husband that didn't help out around the house . My husband is the same way but I do work only part time I think that what men don't understand about housewifes is that they get to leave there job and come home but we don't , we are on duty 24 hours a day 7 days a week .
Posted by: greysquirl
Posted on: 2003-02-05 19:21:46
I, too, want to take my hat off to Dominique and all the other men who are not afraid to lend a hand to their wives. You must not forget there are also women out there helping their husbands also.
I have a very supportive husband who can work both inside and outside the home, as do I. We are parteners in work and play--when one needs help the other is there. By the way Dominique I am from New Brunswick Canada also, Just outside of Saint John on the Kingston Peninsula
Husbands Gift Giving
Posted by: hopehines2
Posted on: 2003-02-06 23:40:24
I found the show the other day so funny. I too can relate with the first woman who her husband gave her a leaf blower as a gift. I remember one year for our anniversary my now ex-husband gave me an ironing board with the money I got for working over time. Isn't that a hoot.
I am so thankful for my new husband, 10 months, he helps me around the house. We share the chores that need to be done, etc. He has even been taking care of me since I have been off work since having surgery. Oh, how I love my man.
Hope Hines of Stone Mountain, GA
Posted by: hopehines2
Posted on: 2003-02-06 23:40:24
I found the show the other day so funny. I too can relate with the first woman who her husband gave her a leaf blower as a gift. I remember one year for our anniversary my now ex-husband gave me an ironing board with the money I got for working over time. Isn't that a hoot.
I am so thankful for my new husband, 10 months, he helps me around the house. We share the chores that need to be done, etc. He has even been taking care of me since I have been off work since having surgery. Oh, how I love my man.
Hope Hines of Stone Mountain, GA
eracer37
Posted by: powallace
Posted on: 2003-02-08 09:33:40
I found the show to be so informative and comforting, knowing there are other men out there who don't know the art of gift giving. I just married 6months ago. Last Christmas I got a beautiful engagement ring. This year, I got a new telephone and a bag of socks! My my, how the times change..wait til next Christmas...after what he went through this Christmas, I bet I get a good un'! Spring,TX
Posted by: powallace
Posted on: 2003-02-08 09:33:40
I found the show to be so informative and comforting, knowing there are other men out there who don't know the art of gift giving. I just married 6months ago. Last Christmas I got a beautiful engagement ring. This year, I got a new telephone and a bag of socks! My my, how the times change..wait til next Christmas...after what he went through this Christmas, I bet I get a good un'! Spring,TX
Husband gift giving
Posted by: vanilla123
Posted on: 2003-07-31 10:53:28
I can under stand what your say'ing my husband of 24 years gave me a pair of scissor's for our 3rd anniversary.I could tell you what I wanted to do with them.
Posted by: vanilla123
Posted on: 2003-07-31 10:53:28
I can under stand what your say'ing my husband of 24 years gave me a pair of scissor's for our 3rd anniversary.I could tell you what I wanted to do with them.
Regrets...
Posted by: nasale
Posted on: 2003-02-05 15:33:35
My regrets are that I didn't know you thirty years ago and move to New Brunswick. What a lovely guy you are! You'll probably have lots of women drooling at your feet now! Gosh, am I proud!! We sure grow 'em good in Canada,eh?
Posted by: nasale
Posted on: 2003-02-05 15:33:35
My regrets are that I didn't know you thirty years ago and move to New Brunswick. What a lovely guy you are! You'll probably have lots of women drooling at your feet now! Gosh, am I proud!! We sure grow 'em good in Canada,eh?
I understand how they feel
Posted by: ladynight
Posted on: 2003-02-05 18:03:28
I am 22 years old and have two children. A newborn and a 4 year old. My live in boyfriend the father of the newborn believes since i dont work that the house, baby and him are my job, since he works. Though he dosent seem to understand that his 8 hour a day job with 2 days off a week isnt anything compared to my 24 hr a day 7 day a week job. He is a good man when it comes to everything else except the stuff that i need a little help with. He still stands by his dicision and anytime that i protest the "plan" it ends up in a major fight. SO i really understand how the woman feel. Tamara, Havelock NC
Posted by: ladynight
Posted on: 2003-02-05 18:03:28
I am 22 years old and have two children. A newborn and a 4 year old. My live in boyfriend the father of the newborn believes since i dont work that the house, baby and him are my job, since he works. Though he dosent seem to understand that his 8 hour a day job with 2 days off a week isnt anything compared to my 24 hr a day 7 day a week job. He is a good man when it comes to everything else except the stuff that i need a little help with. He still stands by his dicision and anytime that i protest the "plan" it ends up in a major fight. SO i really understand how the woman feel. Tamara, Havelock NC
Take a good look at your life
Posted by: mrsreamer
Posted on: 2003-02-05 23:51:44
I read your message and had to reply... I wasn't even a member of this website until I realized I had to be to respond to anything... So I became a member to say that I hope you look at your life.. your future, your childrens' future.. You say that you're only 22 years old, with 2 small kids and the burden of a boyfriend that doesn't seem to respect you very much. If he did, he would realize that you are not Superwoman and you are not his mother. If he wants someone to take care of him, tell him to go home. You have two children, not to mention YOURSELF, to worry about. I have a very close friend that is 24, divorced, with a 7 year old and a 3 year old. It took a long time for her to realize that she was more important than the "man" she was with made her feel. I hope you can, too. Not only for your sake, but for your kids'.
Posted by: mrsreamer
Posted on: 2003-02-05 23:51:44
I read your message and had to reply... I wasn't even a member of this website until I realized I had to be to respond to anything... So I became a member to say that I hope you look at your life.. your future, your childrens' future.. You say that you're only 22 years old, with 2 small kids and the burden of a boyfriend that doesn't seem to respect you very much. If he did, he would realize that you are not Superwoman and you are not his mother. If he wants someone to take care of him, tell him to go home. You have two children, not to mention YOURSELF, to worry about. I have a very close friend that is 24, divorced, with a 7 year old and a 3 year old. It took a long time for her to realize that she was more important than the "man" she was with made her feel. I hope you can, too. Not only for your sake, but for your kids'.
if he only understood
Posted by: ezuniga
Posted on: 2003-08-07 11:29:35
I am a 29 year old stay home mother of two beautiful girls ages 29 months and 10 months. I know EXACTLY how you feel. What I would do for a day off of my 24/7 JOB and leave him with the kids so he could realize that my job at home is not easy.I would like him to make me feel appreciated.
Posted by: ezuniga
Posted on: 2003-08-07 11:29:35
I am a 29 year old stay home mother of two beautiful girls ages 29 months and 10 months. I know EXACTLY how you feel. What I would do for a day off of my 24/7 JOB and leave him with the kids so he could realize that my job at home is not easy.I would like him to make me feel appreciated.
