11/20 Family Divided, Part 9
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Posted by: lisad
Posted on: 2003-11-20 09:06:22
Erin is crying out for a little special attention. I realize the family is wrapped up with other issues right now but Erin's feelings are real and important to her. She's just 13 and isn't able to rationalize like an adult. Adults tend to pritoritize problems but children have less capacity to do that so she's creating her own disaster that hopefully will gain everyone's undivided attention. I'm happy Dr. Phil is concentrating on her a bit as I really feel it wouldn't be long before she went the extra mile to get that attention.
Posted by: lisad
Posted on: 2003-11-20 09:06:22
Erin is crying out for a little special attention. I realize the family is wrapped up with other issues right now but Erin's feelings are real and important to her. She's just 13 and isn't able to rationalize like an adult. Adults tend to pritoritize problems but children have less capacity to do that so she's creating her own disaster that hopefully will gain everyone's undivided attention. I'm happy Dr. Phil is concentrating on her a bit as I really feel it wouldn't be long before she went the extra mile to get that attention.
Rooting for them
Posted by: reepslady
Posted on: 2003-11-20 09:54:58
I agree that (I believe you mean Katherine) needs to feel special. I am really rooting for this whole family to pull together and keep the commitments they are making to each other. The fact that they are trying to help themselves says a lot for this family and I for one think they can work things out! If they didn't love each other they would not even try. My heart and prayers are with the whole family.
Posted by: reepslady
Posted on: 2003-11-20 09:54:58
I agree that (I believe you mean Katherine) needs to feel special. I am really rooting for this whole family to pull together and keep the commitments they are making to each other. The fact that they are trying to help themselves says a lot for this family and I for one think they can work things out! If they didn't love each other they would not even try. My heart and prayers are with the whole family.
Posted by: jenfrommo
Posted on: 2003-11-20 22:04:30
I agree that they have to love eachother for the fact they could so easily get divorced. They are going to try everything before they take that road. I have a lot of respect for people like that. In this country, people have a tendency to "take the easy way out." However, like Dr. Phil says, you have to earn your way out. They are trying to keep from going down that path. I hope the best for them.
Rooting for the family
Posted by: seniorsum
Posted on: 2004-02-19 20:49:20
I know that they can get through this. I feel that the parents need to show more attention to katherine. But I also think that they should show the same attention to
Alex. I know that Alex has been through alot
the past year, but I know she will get through it. I hope everything gets better for the whole family, so they can get on with there life.
Posted by: seniorsum
Posted on: 2004-02-19 20:49:20
I know that they can get through this. I feel that the parents need to show more attention to katherine. But I also think that they should show the same attention to
Alex. I know that Alex has been through alot
the past year, but I know she will get through it. I hope everything gets better for the whole family, so they can get on with there life.
Victim
Posted by: jill48
Posted on: 2003-11-20 11:05:59
Dr. Phil mentioned that Erin is playing the "victim", but where did she learn that from? I think her father plays the victim...that way he doesn't have to take any responsibility for HIS behavior...which has and IS horrible. He does not appear to be "plugged in" to any type of healing, especially if HE has to make any changes. I don't trust him, and I don't think Erin does either. He has NOT followed up on Dr. Phil's suggestions, and he doesn't appear to understand that by NOT doing what he has been asked to do, it makes Erin feel as if she isn't IMPORTANT to him...and I don't think she is!! I hope Dr. Phil NAILS him big-time, and I hope that he figures out that HE is a LARGE part of this family's inability to communicate, because communication involves TRUST, which he has broken MANY times. He's a sad excuse for a man, a husband, a father, and a grandfather. He needs someone to SHAKE him up...but I personally feel he probably WON'T change. He doesn't appear to WANT to change. He's selfish. Someone needs to make him understand that HE is NOT the victim here. HE is the assailant on this family.
Posted by: jill48
Posted on: 2003-11-20 11:05:59
Dr. Phil mentioned that Erin is playing the "victim", but where did she learn that from? I think her father plays the victim...that way he doesn't have to take any responsibility for HIS behavior...which has and IS horrible. He does not appear to be "plugged in" to any type of healing, especially if HE has to make any changes. I don't trust him, and I don't think Erin does either. He has NOT followed up on Dr. Phil's suggestions, and he doesn't appear to understand that by NOT doing what he has been asked to do, it makes Erin feel as if she isn't IMPORTANT to him...and I don't think she is!! I hope Dr. Phil NAILS him big-time, and I hope that he figures out that HE is a LARGE part of this family's inability to communicate, because communication involves TRUST, which he has broken MANY times. He's a sad excuse for a man, a husband, a father, and a grandfather. He needs someone to SHAKE him up...but I personally feel he probably WON'T change. He doesn't appear to WANT to change. He's selfish. Someone needs to make him understand that HE is NOT the victim here. HE is the assailant on this family.
RE: Victim
Posted by: rtrejo
Posted on: 2003-11-20 11:15:59
I totally agree that Katherine has learned to play victim from her father. And I think that after all the therapy the family has gone through she is still seeing bad examples from him. It is saddening to see that Martin won't even be honest about what he has and hasn't done...he skirts around the issues a lot. When I was about Katherine's age my father once told me that if Dad's don't hug and kiss their daughters someone else will. At the time I really didn't put much thought into it, but 15 years later his words are still in my head. Katherine is begging for attention and she is going to get it from someone, lets just hope its her father.
Posted by: rtrejo
Posted on: 2003-11-20 11:15:59
I totally agree that Katherine has learned to play victim from her father. And I think that after all the therapy the family has gone through she is still seeing bad examples from him. It is saddening to see that Martin won't even be honest about what he has and hasn't done...he skirts around the issues a lot. When I was about Katherine's age my father once told me that if Dad's don't hug and kiss their daughters someone else will. At the time I really didn't put much thought into it, but 15 years later his words are still in my head. Katherine is begging for attention and she is going to get it from someone, lets just hope its her father.
Martin
Posted by: ng_in_sc
Posted on: 2003-11-20 12:47:37
I agree that Martin probably will not change. He doesn't seem to be putting much of an effort into healing the relationship with Katherine OR Erin. He didn't even read the book for pete's sake! And what about that body language and the smug look on his face all the time? That says it all.
I'll tell you, Dr Phil did not ask me to read Jay's book- but after seeing the show today, I ordered 2 copies- 1 for me and 1 for my 12 yr old son. We have a close relationship and I want to do everything in my power to see that we stay that way! He is headed into what could be very trying times and I want to make sure that we both make it thru unscathed. MARTIN- WAKE UP! You only have this one chance with Katherine!
Posted by: ng_in_sc
Posted on: 2003-11-20 12:47:37
I agree that Martin probably will not change. He doesn't seem to be putting much of an effort into healing the relationship with Katherine OR Erin. He didn't even read the book for pete's sake! And what about that body language and the smug look on his face all the time? That says it all.
I'll tell you, Dr Phil did not ask me to read Jay's book- but after seeing the show today, I ordered 2 copies- 1 for me and 1 for my 12 yr old son. We have a close relationship and I want to do everything in my power to see that we stay that way! He is headed into what could be very trying times and I want to make sure that we both make it thru unscathed. MARTIN- WAKE UP! You only have this one chance with Katherine!
Martin
Posted by: dgnotta251
Posted on: 2003-11-20 19:57:53
I agree also that Martin will not change. He is not even trying to fix the problem he has right now with the family.. The look on his face just says it all to me he just wants to do what people want on camera but when it is off he don't give a darn. I have four children of my own and I want my children to be able to talk to me about anything.. He needs to WAKE UP! You only get one chance so he needs to make it count!!
Posted by: dgnotta251
Posted on: 2003-11-20 19:57:53
I agree also that Martin will not change. He is not even trying to fix the problem he has right now with the family.. The look on his face just says it all to me he just wants to do what people want on camera but when it is off he don't give a darn. I have four children of my own and I want my children to be able to talk to me about anything.. He needs to WAKE UP! You only get one chance so he needs to make it count!!
i vote martin out!
Posted by: onehill
Posted on: 2003-11-21 10:53:54
i really believe that the father is the biggest problem for the family. you can tell alot about body language, and his says who cares??
Posted by: onehill
Posted on: 2003-11-21 10:53:54
i really believe that the father is the biggest problem for the family. you can tell alot about body language, and his says who cares??
Martin gone!
Posted by: maxiepipe
Posted on: 2003-11-21 12:07:14
Not only is Martin's body language revealing, but he reminds me of a snake----not to be trusted! Every time he opens his mouth, he's lying. Erin, in my opinion, should show him the door.
Posted by: maxiepipe
Posted on: 2003-11-21 12:07:14
Not only is Martin's body language revealing, but he reminds me of a snake----not to be trusted! Every time he opens his mouth, he's lying. Erin, in my opinion, should show him the door.
Marty and Erin
Posted by: peshawar
Posted on: 2003-11-21 14:06:15
Marty is not connected to the problem in his family, and Erin is running the show. When Jay asked Erin if she rembered that during the filming Katherine and Marty agreed to do things together but that when the cameras were off she stated (Erin) that that was just for the cameras because Katherine had other obligation in her equestrian pursuits. She denied saying that and she lied.Everything that happens in that family goes through Erin. She runs the show, the kids and Marty. She admitted that she had a control problem because of her childhood and living with an alcoholic mother. Marty is lazy and has allowed Erin handle all the mature responsibility and he has had it easy. He is also a victim. These two adults have fought and washed there dirty laundry infront of their daughters and have caused such damage to those girls. They have heard so much fighting and arguments. A 13yr old like Katherine should not be involved in her parents marital problems or know about all the dirty details. I'm not taking and sides but Erin in not without resposibility in their problems. I This is a sad family and I hope that they can resolve some of their problems.
Posted by: peshawar
Posted on: 2003-11-21 14:06:15
Marty is not connected to the problem in his family, and Erin is running the show. When Jay asked Erin if she rembered that during the filming Katherine and Marty agreed to do things together but that when the cameras were off she stated (Erin) that that was just for the cameras because Katherine had other obligation in her equestrian pursuits. She denied saying that and she lied.Everything that happens in that family goes through Erin. She runs the show, the kids and Marty. She admitted that she had a control problem because of her childhood and living with an alcoholic mother. Marty is lazy and has allowed Erin handle all the mature responsibility and he has had it easy. He is also a victim. These two adults have fought and washed there dirty laundry infront of their daughters and have caused such damage to those girls. They have heard so much fighting and arguments. A 13yr old like Katherine should not be involved in her parents marital problems or know about all the dirty details. I'm not taking and sides but Erin in not without resposibility in their problems. I This is a sad family and I hope that they can resolve some of their problems.
My opinion
Posted by: tea4ular
Posted on: 2003-11-21 15:49:33
I seriously think Martin should be voted off the Weight Loss Challenge!
Oh wait, he's not on the challenge, he's part of the "family" issue. Then I think he should be voted out of the family.
He is full of himself. Not reading the book was the last straw worth of hope I had for him. He made me feel for him when he cried about his own biological father. I really started to believe him when he said he didn't think he was as "plugged in" to the family as he could be. But now, I'm done with him. And if he doesn't wipe that smirk off his face quick, I'm likely to wipe it off for him!
Martin, you ARE the weakest link! Good-bye!
Posted by: tea4ular
Posted on: 2003-11-21 15:49:33
I seriously think Martin should be voted off the Weight Loss Challenge!
Oh wait, he's not on the challenge, he's part of the "family" issue. Then I think he should be voted out of the family.
He is full of himself. Not reading the book was the last straw worth of hope I had for him. He made me feel for him when he cried about his own biological father. I really started to believe him when he said he didn't think he was as "plugged in" to the family as he could be. But now, I'm done with him. And if he doesn't wipe that smirk off his face quick, I'm likely to wipe it off for him!
Martin, you ARE the weakest link! Good-bye!
Enough!!!!!
Posted by: misse1956
Posted on: 2003-11-22 18:15:34
I have never in my life been part of a message board, but I think it is time to wade in with my two cents worth. There are a whole bunch of people who could get "kicked out of this segment". But let's start with the brat Katherine, who so that she could move the attention from a new baby, decided she wanted to be put out for adoption, remember folks, she stirred this all up, did she read the book? No, and it was her complaint it was supposed to address. I do have a suggestion, the next time she is rude to her mother, says something smart to her father, or says "I am not like Alex" I think Dr. Phil should fly across the country and plant his foot in her behind. Katherine is a child, yes that is true, but she is also a master manipulator who seems to want any and all attention to be primarily focused on herself. Time to grow up Katherine, family support and respect goes two ways, you have to give it to get it. I was once in a conference where the leader told us, that people mirror how we treat them, perhaps if you treated your family nicely you would get the same in return.
Posted by: misse1956
Posted on: 2003-11-22 18:15:34
I have never in my life been part of a message board, but I think it is time to wade in with my two cents worth. There are a whole bunch of people who could get "kicked out of this segment". But let's start with the brat Katherine, who so that she could move the attention from a new baby, decided she wanted to be put out for adoption, remember folks, she stirred this all up, did she read the book? No, and it was her complaint it was supposed to address. I do have a suggestion, the next time she is rude to her mother, says something smart to her father, or says "I am not like Alex" I think Dr. Phil should fly across the country and plant his foot in her behind. Katherine is a child, yes that is true, but she is also a master manipulator who seems to want any and all attention to be primarily focused on herself. Time to grow up Katherine, family support and respect goes two ways, you have to give it to get it. I was once in a conference where the leader told us, that people mirror how we treat them, perhaps if you treated your family nicely you would get the same in return.
who taught K how to treat them
Posted by: pgespier
Posted on: 2003-11-27 10:42:00
Its certainly true that Katherine is a brat. I wouldn't have my daughter talking to me that way but in the words of a famous philosopher, "You teach people how to treat you." Who taught Katherine that she was to treat her parent's that way??? Who has she been living with? The problem is 2 sided but it goes back to the parents and when they play favorites and fail to hear what's really being said they add fuel to the fire. For example, when Katherine said she wasn't like Alex her mother came back with "Are you saying your sister is stupid?" That wasn't the issue and the whole conversation just disolved into a childish dispute. Erin needs to ask herself who is the adult here and act accordingly.
Posted by: pgespier
Posted on: 2003-11-27 10:42:00
Its certainly true that Katherine is a brat. I wouldn't have my daughter talking to me that way but in the words of a famous philosopher, "You teach people how to treat you." Who taught Katherine that she was to treat her parent's that way??? Who has she been living with? The problem is 2 sided but it goes back to the parents and when they play favorites and fail to hear what's really being said they add fuel to the fire. For example, when Katherine said she wasn't like Alex her mother came back with "Are you saying your sister is stupid?" That wasn't the issue and the whole conversation just disolved into a childish dispute. Erin needs to ask herself who is the adult here and act accordingly.
Thank You!!
Posted by: anniedaily
Posted on: 2003-12-01 23:25:45
Thank you for saying what I have been screaming at the television since this all started!! Why hasn't anyone said "GROW UP" to Katherine? I was completely appalled when Katherine wrote the letter wishing to be adopted. Do you know how many kids in the world actually have real reasons to want out of their homes? If she was my daughter I would have helped her pack her bags to go off to her friend's house!! A few days away from the family might open her eyes and see that things are not that bad. I am not saying that she is always treated the way she should be, but respect goes both ways and she needs to realize that she cannot be the center of attention all the time.
Posted by: anniedaily
Posted on: 2003-12-01 23:25:45
Thank you for saying what I have been screaming at the television since this all started!! Why hasn't anyone said "GROW UP" to Katherine? I was completely appalled when Katherine wrote the letter wishing to be adopted. Do you know how many kids in the world actually have real reasons to want out of their homes? If she was my daughter I would have helped her pack her bags to go off to her friend's house!! A few days away from the family might open her eyes and see that things are not that bad. I am not saying that she is always treated the way she should be, but respect goes both ways and she needs to realize that she cannot be the center of attention all the time.
Finally....The Truth and The Light!!!!!
Posted by: prtydoc
Posted on: 2004-01-06 22:56:44
I have also never been part of a message board, but I am glad that someone finally spoke up about Katherine's behaviou...or lack thereof! I completely agree with the part about Dr. Phil putting his shoe where the sun don't shine on that girl the next time she runs a fresh mouth on her mother!! The woman who gave birth to her, raised her, gave her the extravagant life she lives, and the same lady who is caught in the middle of the storm and doing the best she can with all of them!! Go Erin!!
Posted by: prtydoc
Posted on: 2004-01-06 22:56:44
I have also never been part of a message board, but I am glad that someone finally spoke up about Katherine's behaviou...or lack thereof! I completely agree with the part about Dr. Phil putting his shoe where the sun don't shine on that girl the next time she runs a fresh mouth on her mother!! The woman who gave birth to her, raised her, gave her the extravagant life she lives, and the same lady who is caught in the middle of the storm and doing the best she can with all of them!! Go Erin!!
Kick him to the curb!
Posted by: liz_paul
Posted on: 2003-11-21 17:01:09
I just finished watching the tape of the show from yesterday. I am so angry at Martin. And Dr Phil thinks this family can be saved??? With someone like Martin as the Father, who would want to save it. Martin is just filling up space. I think Eric should "kick him to the curb." Katherine would definitely be better off without a father like that as a role model. He may be the father but he is certainly no "Dad." Erin could start her like anew without an obstacle to continually degrade her selfworth. Alex was just doing what she thought would please Martin. The only reason that Alexandra kept the baby was because Martin wanted a "boy." What a jerk!
Posted by: liz_paul
Posted on: 2003-11-21 17:01:09
I just finished watching the tape of the show from yesterday. I am so angry at Martin. And Dr Phil thinks this family can be saved??? With someone like Martin as the Father, who would want to save it. Martin is just filling up space. I think Eric should "kick him to the curb." Katherine would definitely be better off without a father like that as a role model. He may be the father but he is certainly no "Dad." Erin could start her like anew without an obstacle to continually degrade her selfworth. Alex was just doing what she thought would please Martin. The only reason that Alexandra kept the baby was because Martin wanted a "boy." What a jerk!
RE:CURB
Posted by: stevo2
Posted on: 2003-11-21 22:00:56
I'm sorry but who are you to say that? any bad marriage I believe can be saved. Divorce is the easy way out. What ever happened to the vows of marrage? I believe if they both try and Erin still feels the same way and feels no possible way of forgiving Martin for his wrong doings then she can say I tried. And I relly don't think alex kept her baby because of her dad, she kept her baby because it was her baby. Alex doesn't need a new dad she needs to stop being so disrespectful.
Posted by: stevo2
Posted on: 2003-11-21 22:00:56
I'm sorry but who are you to say that? any bad marriage I believe can be saved. Divorce is the easy way out. What ever happened to the vows of marrage? I believe if they both try and Erin still feels the same way and feels no possible way of forgiving Martin for his wrong doings then she can say I tried. And I relly don't think alex kept her baby because of her dad, she kept her baby because it was her baby. Alex doesn't need a new dad she needs to stop being so disrespectful.
Martin
Posted by: magsunlove
Posted on: 2003-11-22 01:26:06
I think Martin is hopeless. He is so immature and doesn't even seem to try. Words are easy but he doesn't follow through with any suggestions or requests from Dr. phil.I think as long as he stays in the house the family will continue to be bigtime disfunctional.He is such a bad male role model for either of the girls and will certainly be a bad one for nathan.
Posted by: magsunlove
Posted on: 2003-11-22 01:26:06
I think Martin is hopeless. He is so immature and doesn't even seem to try. Words are easy but he doesn't follow through with any suggestions or requests from Dr. phil.I think as long as he stays in the house the family will continue to be bigtime disfunctional.He is such a bad male role model for either of the girls and will certainly be a bad one for nathan.
Disposing of a family member
Posted by: londroche
Posted on: 2003-11-22 10:55:49
Wait a minute!!!!!!
everyone is so ready to say hey kick the guy out..he is no good for being a father or husband. I say with all the faults and misery he has done to this family, you cannot just say out...and it will fix the problem. He will still be a father...even if he is divorced from his own youngest child, if thats what she wants. You cannot remove someone just like that. He needs therapy badly. And maybe he will eventually...It is never ever too late. The wife needs heavy therapy everyone needs it in this family, thats why they are on the show. Martin is puting on his defense......"giving a show of being cold, and not caring" I don't believe this guy. He is a victim to his on self being.
This guy is self-destructing, and he is bring his family down with him weather he is in the family picture or not.
Posted by: londroche
Posted on: 2003-11-22 10:55:49
Wait a minute!!!!!!
everyone is so ready to say hey kick the guy out..he is no good for being a father or husband. I say with all the faults and misery he has done to this family, you cannot just say out...and it will fix the problem. He will still be a father...even if he is divorced from his own youngest child, if thats what she wants. You cannot remove someone just like that. He needs therapy badly. And maybe he will eventually...It is never ever too late. The wife needs heavy therapy everyone needs it in this family, thats why they are on the show. Martin is puting on his defense......"giving a show of being cold, and not caring" I don't believe this guy. He is a victim to his on self being.
This guy is self-destructing, and he is bring his family down with him weather he is in the family picture or not.
