10/07 Stand By Your Man
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Posted by: anemol
Posted on: 2003-10-07 07:35:07
When you go into a relationship, do you not go into it with your all. Do you not open your most private and intimite place? Don't you expect your partner to do the same? For him or her to betray that trust means they do not respect you. Why would you want to be with someone who doesn't respect you? If you caught him once, imagine how many times you missed him. You deserve better because you are enough.
Posted by: anemol
Posted on: 2003-10-07 07:35:07
When you go into a relationship, do you not go into it with your all. Do you not open your most private and intimite place? Don't you expect your partner to do the same? For him or her to betray that trust means they do not respect you. Why would you want to be with someone who doesn't respect you? If you caught him once, imagine how many times you missed him. You deserve better because you are enough.
jennifer not your fault!!!!
Posted by: psharleen
Posted on: 2003-10-07 17:08:54
wow jennifer,
im crying and so sad for you. i am an ic suffer.dr phil made me want to stand up and shout!!!! we are not alone and its not your fault!!!! please write me. been there. the ic just abouts destoys all your life!!
please if you wanta talk write me.
Posted by: psharleen
Posted on: 2003-10-07 17:08:54
wow jennifer,
im crying and so sad for you. i am an ic suffer.dr phil made me want to stand up and shout!!!! we are not alone and its not your fault!!!! please write me. been there. the ic just abouts destoys all your life!!
please if you wanta talk write me.
Medical Problem
Posted by: smith67
Posted on: 2003-10-07 17:25:15
What was bladder condition that Jennifer has?
Posted by: smith67
Posted on: 2003-10-07 17:25:15
What was bladder condition that Jennifer has?
interstitial cyctitis
Posted by: psharleen
Posted on: 2003-10-08 11:04:45
hi.. the wonderful condition is called interstitial cyctitis. its terrible! its like having a bladder infection all the time. but thats not all. there is terrible pain. constant. not just during sex. you also have to void up to 70 plus times during the day! yes.. its not fun. it has almost destoyed my life. but with the help of drs out there who understand i am getting help.i cant believe her husband said he had the right to sleep around because of her condition. how unfair, if he would have been hurt. i bet she would not have used that as an excuse to hurt him. any other questions please write me....sharleen sassy1703us@aol
Posted by: psharleen
Posted on: 2003-10-08 11:04:45
hi.. the wonderful condition is called interstitial cyctitis. its terrible! its like having a bladder infection all the time. but thats not all. there is terrible pain. constant. not just during sex. you also have to void up to 70 plus times during the day! yes.. its not fun. it has almost destoyed my life. but with the help of drs out there who understand i am getting help.i cant believe her husband said he had the right to sleep around because of her condition. how unfair, if he would have been hurt. i bet she would not have used that as an excuse to hurt him. any other questions please write me....sharleen sassy1703us@aol
He slept around BEFORE
Posted by: ramair
Posted on: 2003-10-08 13:51:50
Bruce was already sleeping around before, not because of, but before, Jennifer began having interstitial cyctitis. And, who knows that he didn't pass it from one of those other women to her.
Posted by: ramair
Posted on: 2003-10-08 13:51:50
Bruce was already sleeping around before, not because of, but before, Jennifer began having interstitial cyctitis. And, who knows that he didn't pass it from one of those other women to her.
Interstitial Cystitis Is NOT Contagious
Posted by: skershner3
Posted on: 2003-10-08 21:52:44
Interstitial Cystisis is not a contagious disease. Although IC's cause is not known it is thought to be an autoimmune disorder or from a fastidious bacteria. IC can not be diagnosed by a routine urinalysis. Most patients with IC have had repeated urine tests that come back negative unlike patients that have a bladder or urinary tract infection which show blood or white blood cells in their urine. IC is diagnosed by having a hydrodistention of the bladder done under general anesthesia. The bladder wall is examined via a "scope". The bladder wall of a patient with IC will have pin point hemmorages and sometimes Hunner's Ulcers and mast cells. The main thing that the urologist is looking for are the pin point hemmorages. In my case I have the mast cells, trigonitis, Hunners Ulcers and the pin point hemmorages. Usually biopsys are taken at this time to rule out cancer. I have gone through the thing of other people thinking that IC is contagious and just wanted to make it clear that it is not. With everything else that IC suffers have to go through - we dont need people being afraid of using the restroom after we do, etc. I hope this gives a little better understanding of this disorder. Thank each of you for listening & your time. Susan
Posted by: skershner3
Posted on: 2003-10-08 21:52:44
Interstitial Cystisis is not a contagious disease. Although IC's cause is not known it is thought to be an autoimmune disorder or from a fastidious bacteria. IC can not be diagnosed by a routine urinalysis. Most patients with IC have had repeated urine tests that come back negative unlike patients that have a bladder or urinary tract infection which show blood or white blood cells in their urine. IC is diagnosed by having a hydrodistention of the bladder done under general anesthesia. The bladder wall is examined via a "scope". The bladder wall of a patient with IC will have pin point hemmorages and sometimes Hunner's Ulcers and mast cells. The main thing that the urologist is looking for are the pin point hemmorages. In my case I have the mast cells, trigonitis, Hunners Ulcers and the pin point hemmorages. Usually biopsys are taken at this time to rule out cancer. I have gone through the thing of other people thinking that IC is contagious and just wanted to make it clear that it is not. With everything else that IC suffers have to go through - we dont need people being afraid of using the restroom after we do, etc. I hope this gives a little better understanding of this disorder. Thank each of you for listening & your time. Susan
Interstitial Cystitis
Posted by: janep5
Posted on: 2003-10-09 23:33:07
IC has also destroyed my life. I can't work anymore and on SS Disability. I am pretty much housebound because of the pain and having to go to the bathroom 60-70 times a day. And, oh yes, I am unable to have sex with my husband of over 26 years. Sometimes I feel so guity that I think that he should go get it elsewhere. I would feel terrrible about it, but how much can a man take? This is not a normal life that we have. IC has taken away so much. He's been totally supportive of all of my problems for over six years now. But everybody must have a breaking point.
Posted by: janep5
Posted on: 2003-10-09 23:33:07
IC has also destroyed my life. I can't work anymore and on SS Disability. I am pretty much housebound because of the pain and having to go to the bathroom 60-70 times a day. And, oh yes, I am unable to have sex with my husband of over 26 years. Sometimes I feel so guity that I think that he should go get it elsewhere. I would feel terrrible about it, but how much can a man take? This is not a normal life that we have. IC has taken away so much. He's been totally supportive of all of my problems for over six years now. But everybody must have a breaking point.
Posted by: trufflez
Posted on: 2003-10-15 12:08:07
When you love someone and are committed to him or her, you stand by them. What if he became impotent--would he be cheering his wife on to become the town tramp? Really. I have had I.C. for almost 12 years. Intercourse is great when you feel good enough (and my preference), but there are many other physical and sexual ways to express love and affection when that isn't possible. The problem with this couple was not the I.C.--it was the sorry excuse of a husband provided, with a sad wife willing to put up with him. I cringed for the wife blaming herself. I understand the guilt involved with chronic illnesses, having acquired quite a few of them myself over the past decade, but, Honey, you are NOT responsible for that low-life scumbag's infidelity. I would strongly recommend you lose him ASAP! Dogs don't change their spots.
IC
Posted by: patti716
Posted on: 2003-10-23 21:02:57
I completely agree with everything you say. I have had IC for 5 years now. I thought no one would ever want to be with me because of this condition. But I was wrong my husband is a very caring and supportive man. It is a shame that Jennifer is blaming herself. She needs to leave him and move on. Maybe an IC support group could help her.
I was thrilled to hear Dr. Phil mention IC and talk about the reality of it being a very real condition. More attention needs to be focused on this disorder.
Posted by: patti716
Posted on: 2003-10-23 21:02:57
I completely agree with everything you say. I have had IC for 5 years now. I thought no one would ever want to be with me because of this condition. But I was wrong my husband is a very caring and supportive man. It is a shame that Jennifer is blaming herself. She needs to leave him and move on. Maybe an IC support group could help her.
I was thrilled to hear Dr. Phil mention IC and talk about the reality of it being a very real condition. More attention needs to be focused on this disorder.
blame
Posted by: babydust37
Posted on: 2004-05-27 00:55:27
My first husband had an affair after 15 years of marriage.I can relate to getting the blame for it.His reason was that because I was severely depressed from my 16 month old nephew drowning and my whole family stopped talking to each other,that was the reason for his affair.When I found out about his affair and I asked him what he thought would happen now he told me he would still see her and still be married to me.When I asked him why he thought I would put up with that his reason was that"You want and need me that bad"and that I could not make it without him especially with depression.Who was he kidding?Him being there after knowing would make the depression worse.I threw him out that night,and have never regretted it.
Posted by: babydust37
Posted on: 2004-05-27 00:55:27
My first husband had an affair after 15 years of marriage.I can relate to getting the blame for it.His reason was that because I was severely depressed from my 16 month old nephew drowning and my whole family stopped talking to each other,that was the reason for his affair.When I found out about his affair and I asked him what he thought would happen now he told me he would still see her and still be married to me.When I asked him why he thought I would put up with that his reason was that"You want and need me that bad"and that I could not make it without him especially with depression.Who was he kidding?Him being there after knowing would make the depression worse.I threw him out that night,and have never regretted it.
Posted by: trufflez
Posted on: 2003-10-15 12:29:04
When you love someone and are committed to him or her, you stand by them. What if he became impotent--would he be cheering his wife on to become the town tramp? Really. I have had I.C. for almost 12 years. Intercourse is great when you feel good enough (and my preference), but there are many other physical and sexual ways to express love and affection when that isn't possible. The problem with this couple was not the I.C.--it was the sorry excuse of a husband provided, with a sad wife willing to put up with him. I cringed for the wife blaming herself. I understand the guilt involved with chronic illnesses, having acquired quite a few of them myself over the past decade, but, Honey, you are NOT responsible for that low-life scumbag's infidelity. I would strongly recommend you lose him ASAP! Dogs don't change their spots.
Jennifer, you are not alone
Posted by: lori2015
Posted on: 2003-10-07 19:14:00
Jennifer, I am also an IC sufferer and I can totally relate to how you feel. I developed IC 1 year into a new marriage. Thank God my husband is an angel and we work around the sex part of our marriage. This is my second marriage, his first. I left my first husband because he was a cheater and I made it real clear to my present husband that cheating was a big issue to me. If I ever thought he was cheating, I wouldn't ask questions, I would just leave. Of course, my circumstances are different now, but I have a grown daughter and I would sooner live with her then stay with a cheating man. I am no longer able to work due to my IC and am receiving Social Security disablility.
Please email me if you would like. My email is Lori2015@Yahoo.com.
Lorraine
Posted by: lori2015
Posted on: 2003-10-07 19:14:00
Jennifer, I am also an IC sufferer and I can totally relate to how you feel. I developed IC 1 year into a new marriage. Thank God my husband is an angel and we work around the sex part of our marriage. This is my second marriage, his first. I left my first husband because he was a cheater and I made it real clear to my present husband that cheating was a big issue to me. If I ever thought he was cheating, I wouldn't ask questions, I would just leave. Of course, my circumstances are different now, but I have a grown daughter and I would sooner live with her then stay with a cheating man. I am no longer able to work due to my IC and am receiving Social Security disablility.
Please email me if you would like. My email is Lori2015@Yahoo.com.
Lorraine
Sex and Chronic Pain
Posted by: fdurisseau
Posted on: 2003-10-08 08:06:57
Hello ladies,
I also understand what Jennifer deals with although mine if from Fibromyalgia, Endometriosis, and degenerative disk disease, from a car accident over 20 years ago. I am married now, almost a year to a man who DOES understand that there are times that my body just cannot handle sex. There are times my body can hardly handle having to move. While we were dating, and during our first year together, I was blessed with very few flare ups, but took the time to explain to him that I would have my "down" times..He very lovingly understood that, and is very supportive of my ups and downs...But, I have an ex that cheated online,never understood, and felt if I really loved him, I would have sex,whenever he felt like it. It took me 17 years to get out of that marriage. It was the best thing that ever happened to me.I am available to visit online via email. I also moderate a Chronic Pain support online support group. Feel free to email me, MrandMrsDurisseau@Houston.rr.com
God bless each of you, and remember, you can have a wonderful marriage, intimacy, and closeness, in spite of chronic pain/disease.
Frances.. ps it would be great Dr. Phil to have a show dealing with Chronic Pain and it's effects in marriage/family.
Posted by: fdurisseau
Posted on: 2003-10-08 08:06:57
Hello ladies,
I also understand what Jennifer deals with although mine if from Fibromyalgia, Endometriosis, and degenerative disk disease, from a car accident over 20 years ago. I am married now, almost a year to a man who DOES understand that there are times that my body just cannot handle sex. There are times my body can hardly handle having to move. While we were dating, and during our first year together, I was blessed with very few flare ups, but took the time to explain to him that I would have my "down" times..He very lovingly understood that, and is very supportive of my ups and downs...But, I have an ex that cheated online,never understood, and felt if I really loved him, I would have sex,whenever he felt like it. It took me 17 years to get out of that marriage. It was the best thing that ever happened to me.I am available to visit online via email. I also moderate a Chronic Pain support online support group. Feel free to email me, MrandMrsDurisseau@Houston.rr.com
God bless each of you, and remember, you can have a wonderful marriage, intimacy, and closeness, in spite of chronic pain/disease.
Frances.. ps it would be great Dr. Phil to have a show dealing with Chronic Pain and it's effects in marriage/family.
Sex & Chronic Pain
Posted by: brendah64
Posted on: 2004-02-16 11:19:18
I understand what you are going through. I have Fibromyalgia, IC, Pelvic Floor Dysfunction & I am Diabetic and suffer from Major Depression. I am 39 & have had IC most of my life the other diseases were diagnosed only within the past year. I am to the point that I am no longer able to work. In fact, I lost a good job because of having to take time off for surgery. We have almost lost our home & everything we own due to my loss of income & my mounting medical bills.
I had 6 surgeries last year. I have had ever treatment that I know of for the IC, have even tried the InterStim Sacral Nerve Implant with little success & ended up with a major infection from that.
I am at my wits end with Chronic Pain. Unless you have suffered through it, its hard for anyone to understand. This has been the loneliest thing I have ever dealt with in my life.
I would love to email anyone who has any suggestions. My email is: brenda_h1964@yahoo.com
Posted by: brendah64
Posted on: 2004-02-16 11:19:18
I understand what you are going through. I have Fibromyalgia, IC, Pelvic Floor Dysfunction & I am Diabetic and suffer from Major Depression. I am 39 & have had IC most of my life the other diseases were diagnosed only within the past year. I am to the point that I am no longer able to work. In fact, I lost a good job because of having to take time off for surgery. We have almost lost our home & everything we own due to my loss of income & my mounting medical bills.
I had 6 surgeries last year. I have had ever treatment that I know of for the IC, have even tried the InterStim Sacral Nerve Implant with little success & ended up with a major infection from that.
I am at my wits end with Chronic Pain. Unless you have suffered through it, its hard for anyone to understand. This has been the loneliest thing I have ever dealt with in my life.
I would love to email anyone who has any suggestions. My email is: brenda_h1964@yahoo.com
Love No Matter What
Posted by: kamdyn
Posted on: 2003-10-10 16:06:37
I believe that Bruce should love Jennifer no matter what condition she has wrong with her. Me knew about this before and he has stuck by her this long. I feel that he looks like he has failed himself as her loving other by not standing by her and cheating. I think he needs to realize if he really loves her that he will wrk with her with her problem no matter what
Posted by: kamdyn
Posted on: 2003-10-10 16:06:37
I believe that Bruce should love Jennifer no matter what condition she has wrong with her. Me knew about this before and he has stuck by her this long. I feel that he looks like he has failed himself as her loving other by not standing by her and cheating. I think he needs to realize if he really loves her that he will wrk with her with her problem no matter what
IC not to blame
Posted by: sibuna
Posted on: 2003-10-12 04:44:59
I really feel for jennifer. I could completely relate to the frustration of having IC. I've been through many treatments (have had some success with a few) for this disorder over the past few years. I know all too well how frustrating it can be - i believe it was a factor in the ending of my marriage as well. Feel free to write if you need someone to talk to. urbanflux - hotmail.
Posted by: sibuna
Posted on: 2003-10-12 04:44:59
I really feel for jennifer. I could completely relate to the frustration of having IC. I've been through many treatments (have had some success with a few) for this disorder over the past few years. I know all too well how frustrating it can be - i believe it was a factor in the ending of my marriage as well. Feel free to write if you need someone to talk to. urbanflux - hotmail.
ic
Posted by: debby2350
Posted on: 2003-10-14 22:36:52
hi,
I have had IC since I was in my 20's and I'm 53 now. When Dr. Phil said that Jennifer had a bladder problem, I was sure it was IC as you may have thought. I almost stood up thinking they are actually talking about my bladder condition on tv. WOW! I also felt sorry for her and he is using it as an excuse to cheat on her. That is so bad, since we know how difficult this condition can be. I went to 3 doctors before I was properly diagnosed. My dr. gave me medicine and I thought it would do no good. I was amazed when I noticed a difference in 2 hours. I tell him he walks on water. He's great.
Hope you have gotten to a doctor who can help you like mine has.
Hope to hear from you. I live near Rochester, NY.
Debby
Posted by: debby2350
Posted on: 2003-10-14 22:36:52
hi,
I have had IC since I was in my 20's and I'm 53 now. When Dr. Phil said that Jennifer had a bladder problem, I was sure it was IC as you may have thought. I almost stood up thinking they are actually talking about my bladder condition on tv. WOW! I also felt sorry for her and he is using it as an excuse to cheat on her. That is so bad, since we know how difficult this condition can be. I went to 3 doctors before I was properly diagnosed. My dr. gave me medicine and I thought it would do no good. I was amazed when I noticed a difference in 2 hours. I tell him he walks on water. He's great.
Hope you have gotten to a doctor who can help you like mine has.
Hope to hear from you. I live near Rochester, NY.
Debby
I live with IC too!
Posted by: icasupport
Posted on: 2004-03-13 00:40:58
I have lived with IC, (interstitial cystitis) for over 15 years. I was pleased to see Dr Phil talk briefly about the horrible condition. I would love for him to do a show on dealing with chronic illness- its effect on the family and the person who lives with it. The guilt, the pain, the anger, the loss of money and career, etc. I feel bad for the young wife whose husband is cheating due to IC. He is cheating because he wants to. Please don't accept this behavoir from this man. He could be sick, then what? My husband of 23 years has stood by me through IC and other conditions. He meant it when he said for better or worse. I only wish I could give him better. For info on IC you can visit the web site for Interstitial Cystitis Assoc. It is a great group and has support groups and advocates to talk with. Good luck....
Posted by: icasupport
Posted on: 2004-03-13 00:40:58
I have lived with IC, (interstitial cystitis) for over 15 years. I was pleased to see Dr Phil talk briefly about the horrible condition. I would love for him to do a show on dealing with chronic illness- its effect on the family and the person who lives with it. The guilt, the pain, the anger, the loss of money and career, etc. I feel bad for the young wife whose husband is cheating due to IC. He is cheating because he wants to. Please don't accept this behavoir from this man. He could be sick, then what? My husband of 23 years has stood by me through IC and other conditions. He meant it when he said for better or worse. I only wish I could give him better. For info on IC you can visit the web site for Interstitial Cystitis Assoc. It is a great group and has support groups and advocates to talk with. Good luck....
agreeing with anemol
Posted by: grkennedy
Posted on: 2003-10-07 17:16:05
I agree 200% with you. If you give it your all, you will come out with all. My husband loves me very much, but I made sure that there was no room for error before we married. True, we have had our share of hard times, but what marriage doesn't. But cheating does NOT have to be one of those hard times.
Posted by: grkennedy
Posted on: 2003-10-07 17:16:05
I agree 200% with you. If you give it your all, you will come out with all. My husband loves me very much, but I made sure that there was no room for error before we married. True, we have had our share of hard times, but what marriage doesn't. But cheating does NOT have to be one of those hard times.
people grow
Posted by: schurmanmo
Posted on: 2003-10-08 06:41:16
I always thought I knew exactaly what I'd do, until it happened. I always knew bad things happen to good people, but I had to learn that sometimes good people do bad things. We all have the ability to change, and my husband and I worked out our issues and his affair, our marriage is back on track. Don't get me wrong, I didn't just lay down and say 'your forgiven', he worked for it. I just didn't want my children to learn to quit when it gets tough. I wanted them so see that relationships are tough and you have to work at them. What kind of mother would I be if I taught them to quit?
I don't know if you have never had an affiar rock your world, but every situation is different, and yes I agree, some idiots who cheat should be kicked to the curb. But this is not one size fits all.
Posted by: schurmanmo
Posted on: 2003-10-08 06:41:16
I always thought I knew exactaly what I'd do, until it happened. I always knew bad things happen to good people, but I had to learn that sometimes good people do bad things. We all have the ability to change, and my husband and I worked out our issues and his affair, our marriage is back on track. Don't get me wrong, I didn't just lay down and say 'your forgiven', he worked for it. I just didn't want my children to learn to quit when it gets tough. I wanted them so see that relationships are tough and you have to work at them. What kind of mother would I be if I taught them to quit?
I don't know if you have never had an affiar rock your world, but every situation is different, and yes I agree, some idiots who cheat should be kicked to the curb. But this is not one size fits all.
