12/15 Dr. Phil and Robin's Christmas Party

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    Christmas Families
    Posted by: iluvtexas
    Posted on: 2004-12-10 18:02:31


    Robin,

    Each Christmas holidays become more and more stressful. Spending Christmas with the family is wonderful and I thank God there is a family to spend the holiday with.

    Here is my question:

    My family lives in on city, and my husband's family lives in a different city. It is difficult to be at both places for the holiday. How do we spend equal time without stressing out?

    My parents have divorced. How do we spend the holidays when you have several parents to visit? I wish there was a way to relieve the stress for family gatherings.

    I almost dread the holidays for this reason. Any ideas?

    Linda
      iluvtexas
      Posted by: thorvet
      Posted on: 2004-12-15 13:33:12


      Two things stood out when my sister was raising her children and I have decided to adopt them as my own when I had children. 1. Christmas day is at MY house. You are welcome to come, but I am not packing up my kids to go somewhere else when they want to spend it playing with their new stuff and their parents. We may spend Christmas eve with you, but we will not travel Christmas day.

      2. Name your children normal names that they don't have to explain/spell/pronounce when they are college graduates looking for a job.

      As far as your parent's divorce: They divorced each other, not you. You are not responsible for making sure they play nice. Invite them both, letting them know that the other will be there and the behaviour that is expected of them. If they don't show, they lose out. My husband's parents have been divorced for 30 years, they have managed to be civil for family gatherings.

      If it sounds simple, it is. It tells your parents that you are an adult now with a family of your own and you are making your rules for your family.

        Posted by: txagg94
        Posted on: 2004-12-16 16:32:33


        I am so glad to not be the only one who subscribes to the "No travel on Christmas Day" policy. I too feel that the kids want to be home and not getting up, doing the Santa thing in a rush, and then loading up to waste hours of the day traveling to someone's house where they will be bored to tears for the rest of the day. I want to be at home instilling my/our own traditions. I'll have plenty of time to travel and cater to others when I'm retired and a granparent and have nothing better to do!
      Christmas spirit & Divorce
      Posted by: stenquga
      Posted on: 2004-12-15 18:58:59


      As a mother of 5, and divorced when the youngest was ten, we have struggled with the Celibration of Christimas without the children (married or not) feeling like streached taffey!
      When after 7 years, I re-married a man also with 5 children, we found the answer together. ALL CHILDREN ARE ALWAYS WELCOME AT OUR HOME ..however, we set aside the Saturday before Christmas as our party day. We have a nice dinner, listen to the grandchildren perform, (and reward them with a small gift from Santas Sock) and enjoy and sing carols together. Grandpa passes off the Santa hat to the chosen ELF for that year, and the "grand hubub" of passing out the gifts begins.
      It works for us, we can enjoy them all, they can enjoy being together and no one feels the stress of needing to be at another parents home - hope you can find a similar solution for you and your family.

      A CHRISTMAS HOLIC, ADDED UPON, and lovin life:
      Gayle
      Rotate may be the answer
      Posted by: kelhyder
      Posted on: 2004-12-16 09:44:35


      I think the best way is to rotate and spend one year with your family, the next with your hubby's. If it is at all possible always include your mother or father (on a rotation) to your hubby's. Or add onoe more rotation for a total of three and do it at home and rotate inviting your mother then your father the next year. I would make sure you write a letter to all of them with details as to how you will be doing it and your wish is to maintain a peaceful and loving Holidays but, you cannot choose nor do you want to exclude others - therefore, the rotation is your only answer.
      Christmas Families
      Posted by: oklafan
      Posted on: 2004-12-16 17:57:44


      Since Christmas is for children they should be the first priority. Let them choose how they want to spend Christmas and then tell the entire family what they decided. If it's to stay home, then set aside one day for the grandparents to come to celebrate. My mother and father chose the Sunday before Christmas for their celebration and ALL family members were invited to come. My father died 4 years ago and this is the first year we're not having Christmas at Mom's. She's 79 and just can't do it anymore so my sister and I are taking over. If parents are divorced set down with the ex and discuss how you can share your Christmas with the least amount of friction. Surely you can set aside the "differences" and put your children first. My ex and I along with our husband/wife have done this for 15 years. It can be done when you put the children first.
    Americas TRUE HERO'S
    Posted by: heartbolts
    Posted on: 2004-12-10 22:34:24


    Hello Robin & Doctor Phil. again as I sit here reading all you are planning to do for our men and women in all the active war zones in cludeing Irac,I am so moved.I long so to present an I idea I have had for some time to our American peoples,to HELP AID these men women,and families in these troubled times in these times of war.to let them know they are loved and very apperciated for there heroic efforts in protecting our country on a DAILY basis so we can all lay our heads down at night and then without fear with freedom to live our lifes as Americans.However like I said its just an idea.I to know what they must go threw along with the solider who is not at home. Because I also have had family and friends active in the military. I long to help people in our U.S.A.too truely not forget the men and women who are already PASSED ON who are STILL FIGHTING NOW as everyone else is going about there lifes on a daily basis as though they dont know at that very givin moment a solider is giving his life to save ours. I am deeply touched for what you two wonderful people are doing remembering is what America NEEDS to DO DAILY not just when the media or a holiday arises.But to remember DAILY as they doing for us. I do thank you for what you are doing thank you from the whole of my heart from all my family who died who already served and who are serving RIGHTNOW,THANK YOU God bless both of you Have a very warm Merry Christmas,From Olympia Washington Next to McChord Air Force Base and Next to Fort Lewis Army Base From Cheyenne Happy,Happy Holidays.
      Americas True Heros
      Posted by: kriena99
      Posted on: 2004-12-15 11:46:10


      In our community here in Ohio we have a "Adopt a GI and his family" I think if you want to help our troops that are in Iraq this is one of the things that you might be interested in, not only with material things but also with a phone call or a card of encouragement.
        Were can i send a card
        Posted by: c_loflin
        Posted on: 2004-12-15 20:19:11


        I would be very interested in sending a card to our men & women over seas. How & were????????
          I can help
          Posted by: ry12301
          Posted on: 2004-12-15 20:39:19


          Hi! I am so excited to see that you are intersted in sending stuff. i can help you. I am the president/founder of the Fort Mill Troop Supporters. I can hook you up with some addresses. That would be wonderful! it is so great that you are interested in helping out these young men and women. Our true american heroes.

          Just go to my website at fortmillpatriots.tripod.com

          there you will see an email address and a forum. you can send your request either way. and i will get to you promptly. Ok?

          Thanks again. And God bless.

          Ryan Drumwright
          Fort Mill Troop Supporters
          17 years old
          fortmillpatriots.tripod.com
            I WANT TO HELP TOO!
            Posted by: pamk65
            Posted on: 2004-12-15 22:42:34


            Hello..this is my first post on here and i am very excited. i also want to be a big part in this and sending cards and letters to the service men overseas. i think more americans ought to be doing this. my fiance is in the reserves and i was to(but i dropped out to always be here for the kids). this was his dream and i will let him fill it. we are located in ohio. but what your doing and others i think is wonderful. let me know if i can help further. your friend pam.
              hi pam
              Posted by: ry12301
              Posted on: 2004-12-18 09:17:50


              hey pam

              thanks for the supporting of the troops, and both you and your husband's service... both of you are true warriors of freedom's cause... God Bless.

              contact me via my websit, and lets work something ok.... OK?

              take care

              ryan

              [http://fortmillpatriots.tripod.com]
            we can help
            Posted by: kbk31773
            Posted on: 2004-12-16 10:17:54


            Hey. I am a Girl Scout Leader from South Georgia and my girls and I would love to send cards/letters and packages to our Troops in the country or overseas. We currently write to 1 soldier but would love several more.
            Please contact me at: kbk31773@yahoo.com
        Adopt a GI and his family
        Posted by: ditzydo37
        Posted on: 2004-12-16 15:20:47


        I have wanted to do something like this but had no idea how to go about. I am from Akron, Ohio. So if you could will you please give me the information?
        Thank You
        rosemariermr@sbcglobal.net
      thanks for your thinking of us
      Posted by: oberbeck
      Posted on: 2004-12-16 00:03:17


      I live up here in Lakewood and my husband is gone to Iraq right now. It was neat to see your message and see that you're so close to me! Anyways, it is really nice to hear that people do think about what we're going through and are thankful. Thanks!
    Thank you for not forgetting
    Posted by: carolms68
    Posted on: 2004-12-14 21:38:41


    Hi Dr. Phil and Robbin, I just wanted to thank you for not forgetting the military families on this holiday season. It is hard for our families to be away from one another at this time of year especialy. My family is stationed in Japan and to see everyone back home supporting us makes this all worth it. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU. May God Bless you.
    Your support means so much
    Posted by: mohess
    Posted on: 2004-12-15 09:47:25


    I recently watched your show on the Christmas party for the children of deployed soldiers. It meant so much to me to see how much you support our service men and women. My husband and I are stationed in Germany and deal with the same issues of missing our homes and families back in the states. AFN (Armed Forces Network) brings us your show and I was so excited to hear Robin's idea. Please keep up the good work! You are helping many military families with your support, even those not deployed.
    Thank you
    Posted by: jenlou66
    Posted on: 2004-12-15 09:47:25


    Thank you Dr Phil and Robin for supporting military families! We are a military family stationed in the Azores and this is always a difficult time of year for us. It's great to see people remembering us and giving a voice to those who may be forgotten like the kids of those deployed. Thank you so much!
    Thanks from a Military Wife
    Posted by: jwier52
    Posted on: 2004-12-15 09:54:34


    Dr. Phil and Robin,
    Thank you for everything that you have done for military families everywhere. My Husband, PFC Jeremy Wier- 82nd Airborn, Is not in Iraq yet, but is waiting for his orders. I am so lucky to have him here for christmas. We are both young,and we have a 6 month old daughter named Gracie. When he leaves, it will be our first time apart. Thank you for being in my home with me everyday. We can't be near our families now, so it is nice to see a couple of familiar faces everyday. May God bless you both and our soldiers away from home.
    -Jenny Wier
    Fort Bragg, NC
      Any Advice?
      Posted by: jenag7
      Posted on: 2005-01-14 08:41:05


      Hi. I was reading your letter, and I had a question. My boyfriend is in the Marines, and is in California. We plan to get engaged probably within the year. The thing is, I'm a freshman in college, and none of my friends have serious boyfriends or anything like that. I feel like I have nobody to relate to about the situation, and that nobody knows how I feel about the guy that I love being so far away. It makes me feel so alone, and I was just wondering how to get through it. I mean, my friends are really supportive, but they don't know what I'm really going through. I guess I just needed somebody to talk to that is going through the same thing. My prayers are with all the troops and their families, and I wish the best for you and your family. Thanks, Jennifer M, College Station, TX