12/24 Suddenly Single
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Posted by: jollymon
Posted on: 2004-10-03 15:32:13
When you look closely at a relationship-one begins to wonder just how "suddenly" one became single. Dr. Phil has a unique way of providing the tools necessary to take a closer look and see the telling behavior in a partner who is preparing to exit the relationship.
I look forward to seeing the show on Tuesday and hopefully learn more on this subject.
Posted by: jollymon
Posted on: 2004-10-03 15:32:13
When you look closely at a relationship-one begins to wonder just how "suddenly" one became single. Dr. Phil has a unique way of providing the tools necessary to take a closer look and see the telling behavior in a partner who is preparing to exit the relationship.
I look forward to seeing the show on Tuesday and hopefully learn more on this subject.
Posted by: wombatti
Posted on: 2004-10-04 13:20:20
helou!
i like to know who was that actor...name is gary but i want to know the last name!?he lookd like robert regford.if samebody could help me?sorry,bad english languege!this is not the right pleace to ask....=)thäks!!!
Who was which actor?
Posted by: bang70
Posted on: 2004-12-24 16:44:18
Where did you see this actor? If you go to www.imdb.com (this is the [I]nternet [M]ovie [D]ata[b]ase). It's basically got everything about movies you want to know and you can search like crazy. Unfortunately, "gary like robert redford" won't work. And if you enter "gary", you're going to get more responses than you can handle. There's also http://www.epguides.com - TV [Ep]isode [guides] which is not 100% but it's probably the most complete listing of tv shows on the web and even goes to the point of listing each episode, who the guest stars were, the parts they played, and so on. If you can meet us half way and tell us where you saw him there are enough online resources to track him down. Seriously. For all we know Gary was a guy who worked at a McDonald's you bought lunch from the other day. Give me enough info to work from and I'll give finding it a shot.
Posted by: bang70
Posted on: 2004-12-24 16:44:18
Where did you see this actor? If you go to www.imdb.com (this is the [I]nternet [M]ovie [D]ata[b]ase). It's basically got everything about movies you want to know and you can search like crazy. Unfortunately, "gary like robert redford" won't work. And if you enter "gary", you're going to get more responses than you can handle. There's also http://www.epguides.com - TV [Ep]isode [guides] which is not 100% but it's probably the most complete listing of tv shows on the web and even goes to the point of listing each episode, who the guest stars were, the parts they played, and so on. If you can meet us half way and tell us where you saw him there are enough online resources to track him down. Seriously. For all we know Gary was a guy who worked at a McDonald's you bought lunch from the other day. Give me enough info to work from and I'll give finding it a shot.
Yes I am Suddenly single
Posted by: arien039
Posted on: 2004-10-09 15:28:28
Hello everyone this is my first time in Dr. Phil's site and you will never believe I am Suddenly single... as of 10/09/2004 @0400hrs
I advised my husband of 6, yes count them six whole years of calling me out of my name and waking up beside him cussing and shouting and just being in a bad mood all the time. He has called me all night long and guess what he just relized it this morning at 0700hrs that I was serious ...go figure! Anyways, He is now telling me how he can't breath and is sweating and walking around in a circle, hmmmm sounds like something I do everytime we get in a argument, I have always said I would never leave him but the other night when I was home and him yelling at me for not taking my stepchild to school we got in a fight when I got home and it was sever, Major I almost did something unheard of by a sane woman, but once I got my senses back I told him we were over and he agreed but now he is is telling me he never meant for us to seperate....right ,right guess what my dear it is way too late !!
Posted by: arien039
Posted on: 2004-10-09 15:28:28
Hello everyone this is my first time in Dr. Phil's site and you will never believe I am Suddenly single... as of 10/09/2004 @0400hrs
I advised my husband of 6, yes count them six whole years of calling me out of my name and waking up beside him cussing and shouting and just being in a bad mood all the time. He has called me all night long and guess what he just relized it this morning at 0700hrs that I was serious ...go figure! Anyways, He is now telling me how he can't breath and is sweating and walking around in a circle, hmmmm sounds like something I do everytime we get in a argument, I have always said I would never leave him but the other night when I was home and him yelling at me for not taking my stepchild to school we got in a fight when I got home and it was sever, Major I almost did something unheard of by a sane woman, but once I got my senses back I told him we were over and he agreed but now he is is telling me he never meant for us to seperate....right ,right guess what my dear it is way too late !!
single and alone
Posted by: nadiamari
Posted on: 2004-10-04 13:20:20
Hi, I'm new to this and I dont know how is goes, excuse also my english, is not my first language.
After 20 years of marriage, I wanted just to be free, free from him, free from his comments,his insults, his minding everything at home. After 4 years of separation, I wish I didnt take that step, my kids are with me, they dont see their fatherbut 2 months in summer, he is in other continent, I have 3 jobs keep going and I feel alone, sometimes I think it was better with him...
He has a girlfriend and now they are visiting Dominican Republic, and I am jealous that he is doing so well and I'm not. I met some people but I cant take him out of my head, what can I do??
Please help me!!!
Nadia
Posted by: nadiamari
Posted on: 2004-10-04 13:20:20
Hi, I'm new to this and I dont know how is goes, excuse also my english, is not my first language.
After 20 years of marriage, I wanted just to be free, free from him, free from his comments,his insults, his minding everything at home. After 4 years of separation, I wish I didnt take that step, my kids are with me, they dont see their fatherbut 2 months in summer, he is in other continent, I have 3 jobs keep going and I feel alone, sometimes I think it was better with him...
He has a girlfriend and now they are visiting Dominican Republic, and I am jealous that he is doing so well and I'm not. I met some people but I cant take him out of my head, what can I do??
Please help me!!!
Nadia
Stay Put!!
Posted by: malik63
Posted on: 2004-10-06 08:30:34
Its ironic that you put up 20 years with the abuse and insults, and finally when you stood up for your rights, you are having 2nd thoughts. Keep your faith strong about the position you have taken and I know its tuff to be a single mom. Even after working 3 jobs when you are dead tired, just look at the faces of your children, who you are trying to make better and successful human beings. Life is not a bed of roses or a walk in the park, always remember the old rule of ecnomics "Opportunity Cost". But there is always light at the end of the tunnel. These hardships will make you more strong. Believe in yourself that you did the right thing.
Good LUCK........
Posted by: malik63
Posted on: 2004-10-06 08:30:34
Its ironic that you put up 20 years with the abuse and insults, and finally when you stood up for your rights, you are having 2nd thoughts. Keep your faith strong about the position you have taken and I know its tuff to be a single mom. Even after working 3 jobs when you are dead tired, just look at the faces of your children, who you are trying to make better and successful human beings. Life is not a bed of roses or a walk in the park, always remember the old rule of ecnomics "Opportunity Cost". But there is always light at the end of the tunnel. These hardships will make you more strong. Believe in yourself that you did the right thing.
Good LUCK........
You Can Do It!
Posted by: singleton4
Posted on: 2004-10-06 14:47:27
Hi nadiamari,
I KNOW that you feel alone, exhausted with working all the time & being a parent, but do not give up! Some things, whether we initiate them or not, happen for the best! I was divorced last year after a 10 year relationship with my ex, he had an affair and I was devastated. I felt I was thrown into this downward spiral thinking: "How am I going to live or go on without him in my life when we've spent EVERYDAY for the last 10 years together?" I remember how I wanted to just find a black hole and lose myself in it. I wanted time to just stand still. I used to wonder how the clocks can keep ticking while I'm in such a state of shock at finding out about his extremely secretive betrayal. My ex and the woman he cheated on me with live together, she is getting her own divorce and they are raising her daughter. It's been over a year now and I am not bitter, I've let the anger and sadness go. It takes TIME to accept it - you were together for 20 years, give yourself the time to accept it and move on. Focus on YOU - not what he is doing, has become or who he’s with. You have to in order to enjoy your own life - a different life! That doesn't mean that it won't be wonderful, it's just "different". Embrace it! Heck, I told my ex the last time we spoke that the beginning of life without him is like a gift. It’s sad and I remember good times with him, but, I love that I'm renewing myself and gaining that back feels FABULOUS! Think about how wonderful it is to be FREE of those insults you mentioned – that is worth it!
While that book has ended, a new book is waiting to be written, so pick up that pen and paper and get started! As scary as it can be, it’s exhilarating, exciting and fun. Start thinking about things in terms of how YOU feel and what it is YOU want to do. The hardest thing for me was learning it's ok to take care of my own needs. I’m still the caring, genuine person my family/friends know me to be to my core. Taking care of yourself doesn’t mean you’re selfish! If you are happy, your kids will benefit from seeing your happiness. Your work will be more fulfilling. YOU will be more energized!
You will bump into a new man when the timing’s right. I miss the companionship, but that’s not worth the pay off of losing myself when I was married to my ex. There are things I will never allow another person to treat me like.
Remember: "There are greater tragedies in the world". Not to make light of a situation, but you will live! Smile and enjoy! ~C
Posted by: singleton4
Posted on: 2004-10-06 14:47:27
Hi nadiamari,
I KNOW that you feel alone, exhausted with working all the time & being a parent, but do not give up! Some things, whether we initiate them or not, happen for the best! I was divorced last year after a 10 year relationship with my ex, he had an affair and I was devastated. I felt I was thrown into this downward spiral thinking: "How am I going to live or go on without him in my life when we've spent EVERYDAY for the last 10 years together?" I remember how I wanted to just find a black hole and lose myself in it. I wanted time to just stand still. I used to wonder how the clocks can keep ticking while I'm in such a state of shock at finding out about his extremely secretive betrayal. My ex and the woman he cheated on me with live together, she is getting her own divorce and they are raising her daughter. It's been over a year now and I am not bitter, I've let the anger and sadness go. It takes TIME to accept it - you were together for 20 years, give yourself the time to accept it and move on. Focus on YOU - not what he is doing, has become or who he’s with. You have to in order to enjoy your own life - a different life! That doesn't mean that it won't be wonderful, it's just "different". Embrace it! Heck, I told my ex the last time we spoke that the beginning of life without him is like a gift. It’s sad and I remember good times with him, but, I love that I'm renewing myself and gaining that back feels FABULOUS! Think about how wonderful it is to be FREE of those insults you mentioned – that is worth it!
While that book has ended, a new book is waiting to be written, so pick up that pen and paper and get started! As scary as it can be, it’s exhilarating, exciting and fun. Start thinking about things in terms of how YOU feel and what it is YOU want to do. The hardest thing for me was learning it's ok to take care of my own needs. I’m still the caring, genuine person my family/friends know me to be to my core. Taking care of yourself doesn’t mean you’re selfish! If you are happy, your kids will benefit from seeing your happiness. Your work will be more fulfilling. YOU will be more energized!
You will bump into a new man when the timing’s right. I miss the companionship, but that’s not worth the pay off of losing myself when I was married to my ex. There are things I will never allow another person to treat me like.
Remember: "There are greater tragedies in the world". Not to make light of a situation, but you will live! Smile and enjoy! ~C
RE: single and alone
Posted by: jkmltv
Posted on: 2004-10-06 18:01:21
Hi nadia. English is not my first language either :-)
I just think that you should never forget WHY you left him and that you did the right thing. Instead of bitting on yourself, pet yourself on the back. When you start having these 2nd thoughts about your ex, try to focus on the reasons that made you leave him. I am a strong believer in "lists", if I were you, I would right it down everything that he did to you and read them when you start feeling down. Not to make you feelk bitter but to reassure yourself that you did the RIGTH thing by leaving him. I would not feel jealous of his girlfriend, I would feel sorry for her. He could be doing to her what he did it to you. Somethings never change. Move foward ALWAYS!!! I don't even know you and I am very proud of you for what you did! You could be an inspiration to many women. Good luck! :-) Beth
Posted by: jkmltv
Posted on: 2004-10-06 18:01:21
Hi nadia. English is not my first language either :-)
I just think that you should never forget WHY you left him and that you did the right thing. Instead of bitting on yourself, pet yourself on the back. When you start having these 2nd thoughts about your ex, try to focus on the reasons that made you leave him. I am a strong believer in "lists", if I were you, I would right it down everything that he did to you and read them when you start feeling down. Not to make you feelk bitter but to reassure yourself that you did the RIGTH thing by leaving him. I would not feel jealous of his girlfriend, I would feel sorry for her. He could be doing to her what he did it to you. Somethings never change. Move foward ALWAYS!!! I don't even know you and I am very proud of you for what you did! You could be an inspiration to many women. Good luck! :-) Beth
Dear Nadia
Posted by: rudyrenz
Posted on: 2004-10-13 19:16:56
Hi!
I was married for 19 years, three children, and thought I had it all.
My husband woke up on Saturday morning and told me he no longer wanted to be a husband or a father!
It has been five years since he left, he remarried a women from his country, three years ago, and lives about an hour away.
He sees his kids whenever they choose to drive there, but he does call them often.
Although I was crushed when he left, and even more so when he remarried, I still love and care for him deeply.
I have always believed in the happiness and contentment of those you love.
You cannot be married to someone for such a long time and not feel pain when it is over.
I pray everyday for my ex-husband, his wife
and their new life together. I want him to be happy, and I know my time for happiness again will come, probably when I least expect it!
For now, our children are the number one priority, and we both love them dearly. We NEVER say ANYTHING negative about each other around our kids, as a matter of fact when they complain about thier Dad, I listen and offer support, but NEVER allow them to be disrespectful about him.
Please love yourself and your kids enough to look forward in life, not back.
I will keep you in my prayers.
Sheri
Posted by: rudyrenz
Posted on: 2004-10-13 19:16:56
Hi!
I was married for 19 years, three children, and thought I had it all.
My husband woke up on Saturday morning and told me he no longer wanted to be a husband or a father!
It has been five years since he left, he remarried a women from his country, three years ago, and lives about an hour away.
He sees his kids whenever they choose to drive there, but he does call them often.
Although I was crushed when he left, and even more so when he remarried, I still love and care for him deeply.
I have always believed in the happiness and contentment of those you love.
You cannot be married to someone for such a long time and not feel pain when it is over.
I pray everyday for my ex-husband, his wife
and their new life together. I want him to be happy, and I know my time for happiness again will come, probably when I least expect it!
For now, our children are the number one priority, and we both love them dearly. We NEVER say ANYTHING negative about each other around our kids, as a matter of fact when they complain about thier Dad, I listen and offer support, but NEVER allow them to be disrespectful about him.
Please love yourself and your kids enough to look forward in life, not back.
I will keep you in my prayers.
Sheri
single& alone
Posted by: storm7600
Posted on: 2004-11-01 09:42:03
Nadia, listen to singleton4
good advice and also explore what Life Coaches have to offer
good luck
Posted by: storm7600
Posted on: 2004-11-01 09:42:03
Nadia, listen to singleton4
good advice and also explore what Life Coaches have to offer
good luck
Suddenly Single
Posted by: llmerr1955
Posted on: 2004-10-05 08:13:33
I pray every day to be suddenly single! I have been married 25 years and none of those years have been truly happy. My husband is a very mean person. I grew up in a divorced home and vowed I would never make my children go through what I did. MISTAKE! They tell me how they wished I would have left their Dad. In the first 5 years of my marriage, with two children, my husband left me. I could not function, so I know exactly how these women feel. Now my husband's health is not very good and I feel I cannot leave him. He has 6 children and none of them like him very much, so he would be a very lonely person. I feel obligated to stay with him now. I can only say, be thankful your husbands left. You can't make someone love you and one day you will be happy they stayed gone.
Posted by: llmerr1955
Posted on: 2004-10-05 08:13:33
I pray every day to be suddenly single! I have been married 25 years and none of those years have been truly happy. My husband is a very mean person. I grew up in a divorced home and vowed I would never make my children go through what I did. MISTAKE! They tell me how they wished I would have left their Dad. In the first 5 years of my marriage, with two children, my husband left me. I could not function, so I know exactly how these women feel. Now my husband's health is not very good and I feel I cannot leave him. He has 6 children and none of them like him very much, so he would be a very lonely person. I feel obligated to stay with him now. I can only say, be thankful your husbands left. You can't make someone love you and one day you will be happy they stayed gone.
What is your obligation?
Posted by: bang70
Posted on: 2004-12-24 17:13:36
Perhaps you need to examine what your motivation is for feeling an obligation to remain. If everything we did was in regard to a vote of how everyone else would feel about it and responded to it, we'd never get anything done. We'd be too busy counting ballots, hanging chads, recounts, and so on. Think about how much time would be lost trying to determine what people would think if you wore your green shirt instead of your blue one? As far as his poor health goes, that's a relative statement. If you feel dutybound to stay and care for him, what will you do if he is able to hang on for ten years? How much of your life are you willing to commit as a result of guilt? At least, it sounds like guilt. I'm not trying to persuade you to to leave, just to point out you've pointed out positive reasons for staying and negative reasons for leaving but nothing with regard to the impact upon your life, whether you leave today or five years from now. It's your life and you have to live it the way you choose, but in five, ten, twenty years, how will you look back at this situation?
Posted by: bang70
Posted on: 2004-12-24 17:13:36
Perhaps you need to examine what your motivation is for feeling an obligation to remain. If everything we did was in regard to a vote of how everyone else would feel about it and responded to it, we'd never get anything done. We'd be too busy counting ballots, hanging chads, recounts, and so on. Think about how much time would be lost trying to determine what people would think if you wore your green shirt instead of your blue one? As far as his poor health goes, that's a relative statement. If you feel dutybound to stay and care for him, what will you do if he is able to hang on for ten years? How much of your life are you willing to commit as a result of guilt? At least, it sounds like guilt. I'm not trying to persuade you to to leave, just to point out you've pointed out positive reasons for staying and negative reasons for leaving but nothing with regard to the impact upon your life, whether you leave today or five years from now. It's your life and you have to live it the way you choose, but in five, ten, twenty years, how will you look back at this situation?
What To Do When You Don't Know What To Do ?
Posted by: flastate
Posted on: 2005-04-30 11:07:15
HELLO, MY NAME IS LINDA AND I KNOW THAT MY MARRIAGE IS IN TROUBLE, THE PROBLEM IS I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMORE.I AM MARRIADE TO THE ABSOLUTE LOVE OF MY LIFE AND WE HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR 8 YEARS,I DO EVERYTHING I CAN TO MAKE THIS MAN HAPPY.HE WANT GIVE ME TEN MINUTES OUT OF HIS TIME TO TALK TO HIM ABOUT HOW HE MAKES ME FEEL.HE ALWAYS SAYS WELL YOU NEVER WANT TO TALK UNTIL I GET READY TO GO AND DO SOMETHING OF COARSE WITH HIS FRIENDS!I TOLD HIM I JUST FELT LIKE WE NEED TO END THIS ROOM-MATE SITUATION,AND HE SAYS WELL WHAT EVER YOU WANT.WHAT DOES THAT TELL ME? IT'S JUST ALL ABOUT HIM AND WHAT HE WANTS.HE WANTS TO HANG OUT WITH HIS FRIENDS PLAY GOLF-SOFTBALL AND I HAVE NO PROBLEM WITH THAT,BUT WHERE DOES MY TIME COME IN WITH US BEING TOGETHER AS HUSBAND AND WIFE,AS FAR AS BEING INTIMATE,WELL IT DOES'T.IF HE KISSES ME IT'S JUST A LITTLE PECK ON THE CHEEK AND HES OUT THE DOOR DOING WHAT EVER.I WANT HIM TO CHANGE BUT I FEEL LIKE IN MY HEART THAT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.SO WHAT IS LEFT EXCEPT FOR ME TO GET OUT OF HIS LIFE AND LET HIM DO WHAT-EVER IT IS THAT HE WANTS TO DO.THERE ARE TIMES THAT HE STAY'S OUT UNTIL EARLY MORNING HOURS DRINKING WITH HE SAYS HIS BUDDIES BUT HOW AM I TO KNOW THAT OR EVEN BELEIVE IT WHEN HE HAS NO RELATIONSHIP WITH ME AS FAR AS BEING HIS WIFE.I LOVE HIM WITH EVERY FIBER I HAVE TO LOVE A PERSON BUT I JUST CAN'T KEEP GOING ON THIS WAY AND I DON'T KNOW THAT I COULD MAKE IT ON MY OWN.I WANT THINGS TO CHANGE BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMORE.I PRAY EVERY DAY FOR US AND THAT GOD WILL HELP ME MAKE IT THROUGH AND I FEEL LIKE HE WILL,BUT IT'S JUST DOING IT IS WHAT I AM SO AFRAID OF.SO WHO EVER MIGHT READ THIS JUST PLEASE KEEP ME IN YOURS PRAYERS,AND I WILL KEEP YOU IN MINE.
MAY GOD BLESS ALL OF YOU
LINDA
Posted by: flastate
Posted on: 2005-04-30 11:07:15
HELLO, MY NAME IS LINDA AND I KNOW THAT MY MARRIAGE IS IN TROUBLE, THE PROBLEM IS I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMORE.I AM MARRIADE TO THE ABSOLUTE LOVE OF MY LIFE AND WE HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR 8 YEARS,I DO EVERYTHING I CAN TO MAKE THIS MAN HAPPY.HE WANT GIVE ME TEN MINUTES OUT OF HIS TIME TO TALK TO HIM ABOUT HOW HE MAKES ME FEEL.HE ALWAYS SAYS WELL YOU NEVER WANT TO TALK UNTIL I GET READY TO GO AND DO SOMETHING OF COARSE WITH HIS FRIENDS!I TOLD HIM I JUST FELT LIKE WE NEED TO END THIS ROOM-MATE SITUATION,AND HE SAYS WELL WHAT EVER YOU WANT.WHAT DOES THAT TELL ME? IT'S JUST ALL ABOUT HIM AND WHAT HE WANTS.HE WANTS TO HANG OUT WITH HIS FRIENDS PLAY GOLF-SOFTBALL AND I HAVE NO PROBLEM WITH THAT,BUT WHERE DOES MY TIME COME IN WITH US BEING TOGETHER AS HUSBAND AND WIFE,AS FAR AS BEING INTIMATE,WELL IT DOES'T.IF HE KISSES ME IT'S JUST A LITTLE PECK ON THE CHEEK AND HES OUT THE DOOR DOING WHAT EVER.I WANT HIM TO CHANGE BUT I FEEL LIKE IN MY HEART THAT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.SO WHAT IS LEFT EXCEPT FOR ME TO GET OUT OF HIS LIFE AND LET HIM DO WHAT-EVER IT IS THAT HE WANTS TO DO.THERE ARE TIMES THAT HE STAY'S OUT UNTIL EARLY MORNING HOURS DRINKING WITH HE SAYS HIS BUDDIES BUT HOW AM I TO KNOW THAT OR EVEN BELEIVE IT WHEN HE HAS NO RELATIONSHIP WITH ME AS FAR AS BEING HIS WIFE.I LOVE HIM WITH EVERY FIBER I HAVE TO LOVE A PERSON BUT I JUST CAN'T KEEP GOING ON THIS WAY AND I DON'T KNOW THAT I COULD MAKE IT ON MY OWN.I WANT THINGS TO CHANGE BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMORE.I PRAY EVERY DAY FOR US AND THAT GOD WILL HELP ME MAKE IT THROUGH AND I FEEL LIKE HE WILL,BUT IT'S JUST DOING IT IS WHAT I AM SO AFRAID OF.SO WHO EVER MIGHT READ THIS JUST PLEASE KEEP ME IN YOURS PRAYERS,AND I WILL KEEP YOU IN MINE.
MAY GOD BLESS ALL OF YOU
LINDA
dear allison
Posted by: coultersca
Posted on: 2004-10-05 08:30:50
when you are in a physical relationship then your body is stimulated to produce oxytocin. This builds up and is a part of what is needed to maintain a support for the children. when the male is removed it takes real time for the chemical to rebalance, so total abstinence from interactions with 'your male' is needed. The physical change to your body is rather like losing an addiction. So forgive yourself these draining yearning confusions. Exercise does help, saying NO to your feelings and distracting yourself helps too. enjoy what you can of each day and you begin to build a base of happiness. Life is NEVER as good as the story in your imagination, not for anyone anywhere. Try some volunteer work too.
try the book 'getting to i do' by patricia allen.
Posted by: coultersca
Posted on: 2004-10-05 08:30:50
when you are in a physical relationship then your body is stimulated to produce oxytocin. This builds up and is a part of what is needed to maintain a support for the children. when the male is removed it takes real time for the chemical to rebalance, so total abstinence from interactions with 'your male' is needed. The physical change to your body is rather like losing an addiction. So forgive yourself these draining yearning confusions. Exercise does help, saying NO to your feelings and distracting yourself helps too. enjoy what you can of each day and you begin to build a base of happiness. Life is NEVER as good as the story in your imagination, not for anyone anywhere. Try some volunteer work too.
try the book 'getting to i do' by patricia allen.
I read your letter
Posted by: alison68
Posted on: 2004-10-05 13:07:04
Thanks, You make it sound like I'm an addict coming off my high. I don't need to volunteer, I need a job that pays money.
Posted by: alison68
Posted on: 2004-10-05 13:07:04
Thanks, You make it sound like I'm an addict coming off my high. I don't need to volunteer, I need a job that pays money.
thank you.
Posted by: coultersca
Posted on: 2004-10-05 19:09:37
thanks for reading the letter. I was very stuck on someone who just decided he did not want me. Three years later I was still drawn to this guy. I have another marriage, but I have never resolved the first one entirely, just withdrawn. I have had a great job 25 years, (I now unemployed). I have a daughter I love very much. The book is good. I hope so much you can do better than me.
Posted by: coultersca
Posted on: 2004-10-05 19:09:37
thanks for reading the letter. I was very stuck on someone who just decided he did not want me. Three years later I was still drawn to this guy. I have another marriage, but I have never resolved the first one entirely, just withdrawn. I have had a great job 25 years, (I now unemployed). I have a daughter I love very much. The book is good. I hope so much you can do better than me.
Way to go Allison
Posted by: aztomn
Posted on: 2004-10-08 09:28:29
I want to know if you could give me the information about the work at home position. I missed that part of the show
Posted by: aztomn
Posted on: 2004-10-08 09:28:29
I want to know if you could give me the information about the work at home position. I missed that part of the show
Can't move on
Posted by: lea1068
Posted on: 2004-10-05 08:44:19
My marriage came crashing down 3 years ago. He told me that he loved me but he also loved someone else. Tried to work through his affair, which on looking back was not his first, but i was too blinded by love to believe that he would ever hurt me. After 12 months of him making no effort to try to fix things i asked him to leave, i guess hoping that he would realise that he had hurt me and that he also had to make an effort to save our marriage. We have 3 children together and even though we tried to hide our conflicts, they could see what was going on. He made no effort to change, and spent alot of time telling the children, and many of our friends, of how miserable he was and how he wanted desperately to come back home. But he did nothing to fix things with me, instead he was out dating again only a month after he left. On reflection of our marriage (14 years), i can see now that he cheated on me at least 4 times. Even though he never actually hit me, i put up with alot of violent actions (hitting things next to me, or hitting doors, walls etc). I also put up with violence from his family. He spent alot of time putting me down and making fun of me infront of other people. He was also a very controlling person, as in whom i was aloud to see or speak to. Even though i can see all of this i still find it hard to let go. I find i can manage financially, and with the care of my children, but i still have no control with my emotions. Whenever i see him i just feel so betrayed, and angry. He has had no trouble about moving on with his life. Goes through girlfriends like every couple of months, and every one is the new love of his life. He expects me to be friends with him. To accept his new girlfriends as friends. I have lost my husband, many friends and in a way I have lost myself over the years, and just can't seem to find my way back. I know that Dr Phil says that I need to forgive, and although I try so hard to, I just don't think i am getting there. I just don't know what to do.......just can't seem to move on. Has anyone got any advice
Posted by: lea1068
Posted on: 2004-10-05 08:44:19
My marriage came crashing down 3 years ago. He told me that he loved me but he also loved someone else. Tried to work through his affair, which on looking back was not his first, but i was too blinded by love to believe that he would ever hurt me. After 12 months of him making no effort to try to fix things i asked him to leave, i guess hoping that he would realise that he had hurt me and that he also had to make an effort to save our marriage. We have 3 children together and even though we tried to hide our conflicts, they could see what was going on. He made no effort to change, and spent alot of time telling the children, and many of our friends, of how miserable he was and how he wanted desperately to come back home. But he did nothing to fix things with me, instead he was out dating again only a month after he left. On reflection of our marriage (14 years), i can see now that he cheated on me at least 4 times. Even though he never actually hit me, i put up with alot of violent actions (hitting things next to me, or hitting doors, walls etc). I also put up with violence from his family. He spent alot of time putting me down and making fun of me infront of other people. He was also a very controlling person, as in whom i was aloud to see or speak to. Even though i can see all of this i still find it hard to let go. I find i can manage financially, and with the care of my children, but i still have no control with my emotions. Whenever i see him i just feel so betrayed, and angry. He has had no trouble about moving on with his life. Goes through girlfriends like every couple of months, and every one is the new love of his life. He expects me to be friends with him. To accept his new girlfriends as friends. I have lost my husband, many friends and in a way I have lost myself over the years, and just can't seem to find my way back. I know that Dr Phil says that I need to forgive, and although I try so hard to, I just don't think i am getting there. I just don't know what to do.......just can't seem to move on. Has anyone got any advice
