12/31 How YOU Look Drunk
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Posted by: jeditom
Posted on: 2004-11-05 09:32:18
I'm a member of a volunteer organization in my town called Safe Rides that gives intoxicated teenagers a safe ride home hence the name of the program. The program, since it was first formed in 1986, has helped reduce the teen death rate from alcohol-related accidents by 95%! I find it hard to believe that so many teens as young as 12 or 13 were drinking or doing drugs. Where are their parents? What message are they sending? It's just disturbing. What matters though is that those kids under the influence do not drive or somebody does not get into a car with an intoxicated driver. That is what the program is all about.
Posted by: jeditom
Posted on: 2004-11-05 09:32:18
I'm a member of a volunteer organization in my town called Safe Rides that gives intoxicated teenagers a safe ride home hence the name of the program. The program, since it was first formed in 1986, has helped reduce the teen death rate from alcohol-related accidents by 95%! I find it hard to believe that so many teens as young as 12 or 13 were drinking or doing drugs. Where are their parents? What message are they sending? It's just disturbing. What matters though is that those kids under the influence do not drive or somebody does not get into a car with an intoxicated driver. That is what the program is all about.
Good questions
Posted by: atlswan
Posted on: 2004-11-05 10:26:43
I'm thrilled that there are organizations like yours out there to help teens to be safe. You raise a lot of good questions. It does make you wonder where the parents are.
I do think in some cases there are good parents who are trying everything they can to protect their kids, who may be in a state of rebellion. They may impose curfews and ground their kid, and they still drink to excess.
But I can remember going to school with some kids whose parents were very disconnected. They also had the view that their kid was going to try alcohol and there was nothing they could do about it, so why bother. They didn't set boundaries or pay attention when their child was out until 2 a.m. at a party.
Let me ask you a question. What do you think of parents who hold graduation parties for their kids and provide all the alcohol? Their theory is that at least their kid isn't out drinking and driving. They argue that at least the kids are at home drinking and are safe. But by law, providing alcohol to minors is illegal.
This kind of thing bothers me because I think it sets up the potential for bad drinking habits in college, where alcoholism is almost epidemic. Am I being too harsh and old fashioned about it? I don't have kids yet but hope to in a few years. I'd like to hear your thoughts.
Posted by: atlswan
Posted on: 2004-11-05 10:26:43
I'm thrilled that there are organizations like yours out there to help teens to be safe. You raise a lot of good questions. It does make you wonder where the parents are.
I do think in some cases there are good parents who are trying everything they can to protect their kids, who may be in a state of rebellion. They may impose curfews and ground their kid, and they still drink to excess.
But I can remember going to school with some kids whose parents were very disconnected. They also had the view that their kid was going to try alcohol and there was nothing they could do about it, so why bother. They didn't set boundaries or pay attention when their child was out until 2 a.m. at a party.
Let me ask you a question. What do you think of parents who hold graduation parties for their kids and provide all the alcohol? Their theory is that at least their kid isn't out drinking and driving. They argue that at least the kids are at home drinking and are safe. But by law, providing alcohol to minors is illegal.
This kind of thing bothers me because I think it sets up the potential for bad drinking habits in college, where alcoholism is almost epidemic. Am I being too harsh and old fashioned about it? I don't have kids yet but hope to in a few years. I'd like to hear your thoughts.
It's a Matter of Opinion
Posted by: searle1979
Posted on: 2004-11-05 15:49:15
On one hand I understand the parents point of view. My little brother is a good example of this. My parents were always very strict with us and drinking or being out all night was not allowed even if we spent the night with a friend. However, they realized that brother was dead set on celebrating his new independance on graduation night. He was gonna get drunk at home or away. My parents invited a few of his close friends--all having permission and consent from their parents--to come over. There was alcohol available and they did drink. Over the years where I am from there have been numerous cases of young people being killed on graduation night because there was no where to go after they had been drinking and they decided to roam the roads. I don't think it's responsible and I don't think that parents are condoning drinking in this case, they just want to have a handle on their children on a night when they tend to get a little wild and excited.
Posted by: searle1979
Posted on: 2004-11-05 15:49:15
On one hand I understand the parents point of view. My little brother is a good example of this. My parents were always very strict with us and drinking or being out all night was not allowed even if we spent the night with a friend. However, they realized that brother was dead set on celebrating his new independance on graduation night. He was gonna get drunk at home or away. My parents invited a few of his close friends--all having permission and consent from their parents--to come over. There was alcohol available and they did drink. Over the years where I am from there have been numerous cases of young people being killed on graduation night because there was no where to go after they had been drinking and they decided to roam the roads. I don't think it's responsible and I don't think that parents are condoning drinking in this case, they just want to have a handle on their children on a night when they tend to get a little wild and excited.
parents throwing parties with booze
Posted by: jeditom
Posted on: 2004-11-08 09:58:49
Funny you should mention that because just recently where I live, two parents threw a party for some teens and there was alcohol and a stripper there. The parents were arrested for provoking underage drinking. It bothered me how irresponsible some parents can be. As far as raising kids to be alcohol-free, I think they should be reminded that it is only for people 21 and older and it would be against the law if they drank. I'm 20 and I tasted a Foster's Light while I was in Australia. It tasted like bread water from all the barley. I thought it would taste better but I was mistaken. It goes to show that one might be soooooo excited for something like that only to find out it wasn't everything one expected it to be. Hope that helps.
Posted by: jeditom
Posted on: 2004-11-08 09:58:49
Funny you should mention that because just recently where I live, two parents threw a party for some teens and there was alcohol and a stripper there. The parents were arrested for provoking underage drinking. It bothered me how irresponsible some parents can be. As far as raising kids to be alcohol-free, I think they should be reminded that it is only for people 21 and older and it would be against the law if they drank. I'm 20 and I tasted a Foster's Light while I was in Australia. It tasted like bread water from all the barley. I thought it would taste better but I was mistaken. It goes to show that one might be soooooo excited for something like that only to find out it wasn't everything one expected it to be. Hope that helps.
Its a ? of Parental Responsibility
Posted by: gwlowe
Posted on: 2005-01-01 08:56:33
No you are not old fashioned. You are being responsible.
I believe parents should be parents first. Not their child’s best friend. Though I am not a police officer I am by profession a Law Enforcement Trainer. I train officers how to detect impairment, drug and/or alcohol. So I have heard the horror stories about the results of parents who supply alcohol for their children’s parties.
First, ask any doctor. They will tell you that these kids are not ready to have alcohol or other drugs introduced into their body. Dr. Alvera Stern, Northwestern University, Illinois has published some very interesting material concerning the effects of drugs and alcohol being introduced into the bodies of the under 21 year-old population, and the effects it has chemically upon the brain.
Second, it is Illegal. You can go to jail for doing it. And I believe rightly so. You are a parent. If you wish to introduce your child to alcohol in the privacy of your own home, then you have the right to do so. Just don’t be providing it for anyone else under the age of 21. There is a new movie trailer I saw today concerning a father making a statement concerning serving an alcoholic to his daughter. It goes something like this, if some boy serves an alcoholic beverage to my daughter, I will hunt him down and neuter him. This pretty much sums up my sentiments concerning this issue.
Third, it just plain stupid. Studies show that the earlier the age a person is introduced to and starts consuming alcohol the higher the rate of possible addiction.
Forth, gee, why not set an example. The day my daughter was born, I got rid of all the alcohol in the house. (Except a nearly full 5th of Crown Royal, which I carefully wrapped up and placed in back of a cabinet in my workshop). Neither my wife or me drank any alcohol in our home until our daughter was about 12. Then, when we went out for a good dinner, we might have a glass of wine with it. My daughter is now 20. Does not drink, smoke, or use drugs. She is beautiful, a straight A student in both high school and college (pre-med, I might mention carrying a full load of classes that I can’t even spell, much less get a passing grade in). We have never told her that drinking was wrong, but we have told her it was wrong for her until she is over 21, and always wrong to drink and drive. In some of the classes I teach, we use volunteers that drink, so the police officers can observe the characteristics of impaired people. Starting when she was about 10, during some of my summer classes, I took my daughter to see what drunks look like. She has told me later, that it was a most sobering experience for her (no pun intended) to see how silly people acted when they drank alcohol. My wife and I were parents first. My daughter had a clear notion of where the line was drawn and what the consequence would be for crossing it. I might add, she never had a spanking in her life. I think, because she knew where the line was and that there would be a consequence if she crossed it. She never did and never suffered a negative consequence. She is the apple of my life. I certainly do not want any drunk around her, or God forbid, harm her.
Be a parent, be responsible, be an example.
Sincerely,
Gary Lowe
Posted by: gwlowe
Posted on: 2005-01-01 08:56:33
No you are not old fashioned. You are being responsible.
I believe parents should be parents first. Not their child’s best friend. Though I am not a police officer I am by profession a Law Enforcement Trainer. I train officers how to detect impairment, drug and/or alcohol. So I have heard the horror stories about the results of parents who supply alcohol for their children’s parties.
First, ask any doctor. They will tell you that these kids are not ready to have alcohol or other drugs introduced into their body. Dr. Alvera Stern, Northwestern University, Illinois has published some very interesting material concerning the effects of drugs and alcohol being introduced into the bodies of the under 21 year-old population, and the effects it has chemically upon the brain.
Second, it is Illegal. You can go to jail for doing it. And I believe rightly so. You are a parent. If you wish to introduce your child to alcohol in the privacy of your own home, then you have the right to do so. Just don’t be providing it for anyone else under the age of 21. There is a new movie trailer I saw today concerning a father making a statement concerning serving an alcoholic to his daughter. It goes something like this, if some boy serves an alcoholic beverage to my daughter, I will hunt him down and neuter him. This pretty much sums up my sentiments concerning this issue.
Third, it just plain stupid. Studies show that the earlier the age a person is introduced to and starts consuming alcohol the higher the rate of possible addiction.
Forth, gee, why not set an example. The day my daughter was born, I got rid of all the alcohol in the house. (Except a nearly full 5th of Crown Royal, which I carefully wrapped up and placed in back of a cabinet in my workshop). Neither my wife or me drank any alcohol in our home until our daughter was about 12. Then, when we went out for a good dinner, we might have a glass of wine with it. My daughter is now 20. Does not drink, smoke, or use drugs. She is beautiful, a straight A student in both high school and college (pre-med, I might mention carrying a full load of classes that I can’t even spell, much less get a passing grade in). We have never told her that drinking was wrong, but we have told her it was wrong for her until she is over 21, and always wrong to drink and drive. In some of the classes I teach, we use volunteers that drink, so the police officers can observe the characteristics of impaired people. Starting when she was about 10, during some of my summer classes, I took my daughter to see what drunks look like. She has told me later, that it was a most sobering experience for her (no pun intended) to see how silly people acted when they drank alcohol. My wife and I were parents first. My daughter had a clear notion of where the line was drawn and what the consequence would be for crossing it. I might add, she never had a spanking in her life. I think, because she knew where the line was and that there would be a consequence if she crossed it. She never did and never suffered a negative consequence. She is the apple of my life. I certainly do not want any drunk around her, or God forbid, harm her.
Be a parent, be responsible, be an example.
Sincerely,
Gary Lowe
Thank God for
Posted by: nasale
Posted on: 2004-11-05 16:21:53
people like you. I lost my only sibling when he was twenty yrs old after a night of drinking. There isn't a single day in the last 35 yrs that I don't miss him.It really bugs me that the kids who drink and drive don't even begin to understand the impact it has on the relatives they leave behind. Its not something you just 'get over'. It scars you for life.I hope that awareness increases.
Posted by: nasale
Posted on: 2004-11-05 16:21:53
people like you. I lost my only sibling when he was twenty yrs old after a night of drinking. There isn't a single day in the last 35 yrs that I don't miss him.It really bugs me that the kids who drink and drive don't even begin to understand the impact it has on the relatives they leave behind. Its not something you just 'get over'. It scars you for life.I hope that awareness increases.
i've seen it as well
Posted by: jeditom
Posted on: 2004-11-08 09:58:49
A while back, a senior softball star at a local high school where I live was killed at an intersection by a drunk driver going 100 mph! To this day, her parents, the mom being a MADD member, share their heartbreaking story. Situations like this motivate me to want to make a difference so that not another person will have to suffer such heartache.
Posted by: jeditom
Posted on: 2004-11-08 09:58:49
A while back, a senior softball star at a local high school where I live was killed at an intersection by a drunk driver going 100 mph! To this day, her parents, the mom being a MADD member, share their heartbreaking story. Situations like this motivate me to want to make a difference so that not another person will have to suffer such heartache.
MADD mother
Posted by: mommadd
Posted on: 2004-12-26 00:11:11
I'm glad the mother's story motivates you as well to want to make a difference.
December 21, 1990 our daughter was killed when she was riding in a car with friends. They thought they were all having fun. They were drinking. She was only 17 and the other passenger, who died that night, the driver's cousin, was also 17.
There are no words to express the feelings when you walk into a hospital room and view your 17 year old in a body bag. It takes a long time to get over the guilt and regret you feel. After 14 years, when Christmas comes each year, it is still hard. We would love to buy gifts for her and see the joy on her face as she would open things she wanted.
We can never do anything to bring our daughter back, but if telling our story will help just one person realize the dangers of drinking & driving and save a life, our daughter's death will not be in vain.
We are involved with the MADD chapter in our area and do everything we can to raise awareness of this tragic, violent crime.
Over 17,000 people lose their lives in the United States every year and thousands others are injured. Just think how many family members are affected?
Please don't let it touch your life before you realize how devistating it can be to your family.
Volunteer with a MADD Chapter in your area and you can make a difference too. Go the MADD website to find the Chapter nearest you.
Posted by: mommadd
Posted on: 2004-12-26 00:11:11
I'm glad the mother's story motivates you as well to want to make a difference.
December 21, 1990 our daughter was killed when she was riding in a car with friends. They thought they were all having fun. They were drinking. She was only 17 and the other passenger, who died that night, the driver's cousin, was also 17.
There are no words to express the feelings when you walk into a hospital room and view your 17 year old in a body bag. It takes a long time to get over the guilt and regret you feel. After 14 years, when Christmas comes each year, it is still hard. We would love to buy gifts for her and see the joy on her face as she would open things she wanted.
We can never do anything to bring our daughter back, but if telling our story will help just one person realize the dangers of drinking & driving and save a life, our daughter's death will not be in vain.
We are involved with the MADD chapter in our area and do everything we can to raise awareness of this tragic, violent crime.
Over 17,000 people lose their lives in the United States every year and thousands others are injured. Just think how many family members are affected?
Please don't let it touch your life before you realize how devistating it can be to your family.
Volunteer with a MADD Chapter in your area and you can make a difference too. Go the MADD website to find the Chapter nearest you.
married to a partyer
Posted by: jabrsanc
Posted on: 2004-11-05 10:04:20
Just wanted to say I could relate to the 2nd half of the show, but in reverse. But my husband and I have been through alot and I just can't see it ending now. But his partying is what led him to put himself in a bad position which led to betrayal.
robin in north carolina
Posted by: jabrsanc
Posted on: 2004-11-05 10:04:20
Just wanted to say I could relate to the 2nd half of the show, but in reverse. But my husband and I have been through alot and I just can't see it ending now. But his partying is what led him to put himself in a bad position which led to betrayal.
robin in north carolina
Also married to a partier
Posted by: ccvelarde
Posted on: 2004-11-05 20:32:17
My husband goes to his friends house or out to the bar with his friends at least 2 or 3 times a week. He has been pulled over 3 times for DUI. He was on house arrest and had to go to alcohol therapy. I went through all of this with him, and now it feels like a big slap in the face. I had to change my lifestyle completely to be with him. I quit going to bars, and I no longer drink. I love him and don't know how to get him to stop.
Posted by: ccvelarde
Posted on: 2004-11-05 20:32:17
My husband goes to his friends house or out to the bar with his friends at least 2 or 3 times a week. He has been pulled over 3 times for DUI. He was on house arrest and had to go to alcohol therapy. I went through all of this with him, and now it feels like a big slap in the face. I had to change my lifestyle completely to be with him. I quit going to bars, and I no longer drink. I love him and don't know how to get him to stop.
To Married to a Partier
Posted by: gcpc2002
Posted on: 2004-11-05 21:47:18
Unfortunately, there's nothing you can do to make your husband stop drinking. What you can do is take care of you. Have a strong support network of friends, and don't enable your husband's drinking. He has to quit on his own. I hope all the best for you, and have strength.
Posted by: gcpc2002
Posted on: 2004-11-05 21:47:18
Unfortunately, there's nothing you can do to make your husband stop drinking. What you can do is take care of you. Have a strong support network of friends, and don't enable your husband's drinking. He has to quit on his own. I hope all the best for you, and have strength.
With a Partier
Posted by: peluchin
Posted on: 2004-11-06 09:01:17
My boyfriend and I are going through this very same issue. I can't remember how many times he has gotten stinking drunk and not come home. He swears he isn't cheating, but it's the doubt I feel that is hurting more. We have gone over and over it and every few days, we end up fighting over it, usually while he's drinking. It's not helped that we are going through some hard times besides that, it just makes him seem to think he has more reason to go get stupid with his friends and cousins. I never was a partier, not to that extent like on the show, but I do enjoy going out too, and I find myself choosing (did it again tonight) to stay home with him when I have a chance to get and and go dancing, because I know if I go out, he won't control his drinking and god forbid I go without him: that would just cause him to take off drinking.
I can't remember how many times we have broken up over this. And yet he just promises to change, says he wants to quit, but sure enough, in 3 or 4 days, he'll be at it again.
I don't know what's more frustrating, him not wanting to see what he's doing to us or me being so stupid as to let him keep coming back.
I love him, more than I have ever loved anyone and the last thing I want is to lose him, but honestly, I have been feeling like I would rather be alone or with someone I don't love as much who doesn't have this terrible habit. I am not a cheater, I would be happy with someone that treated me well and didn't cheat on me. More and more, I just see things ending that way. I have tried many times and in many different ways to get him to understand but really I just feel now that I don't care, like I am the only one who is worried about it, who wants to work on the relationship. If he doesn't care enough about it to just let it go down the bottle of whatever he's poisoning himself with, than why should I?
Posted by: peluchin
Posted on: 2004-11-06 09:01:17
My boyfriend and I are going through this very same issue. I can't remember how many times he has gotten stinking drunk and not come home. He swears he isn't cheating, but it's the doubt I feel that is hurting more. We have gone over and over it and every few days, we end up fighting over it, usually while he's drinking. It's not helped that we are going through some hard times besides that, it just makes him seem to think he has more reason to go get stupid with his friends and cousins. I never was a partier, not to that extent like on the show, but I do enjoy going out too, and I find myself choosing (did it again tonight) to stay home with him when I have a chance to get and and go dancing, because I know if I go out, he won't control his drinking and god forbid I go without him: that would just cause him to take off drinking.
I can't remember how many times we have broken up over this. And yet he just promises to change, says he wants to quit, but sure enough, in 3 or 4 days, he'll be at it again.
I don't know what's more frustrating, him not wanting to see what he's doing to us or me being so stupid as to let him keep coming back.
I love him, more than I have ever loved anyone and the last thing I want is to lose him, but honestly, I have been feeling like I would rather be alone or with someone I don't love as much who doesn't have this terrible habit. I am not a cheater, I would be happy with someone that treated me well and didn't cheat on me. More and more, I just see things ending that way. I have tried many times and in many different ways to get him to understand but really I just feel now that I don't care, like I am the only one who is worried about it, who wants to work on the relationship. If he doesn't care enough about it to just let it go down the bottle of whatever he's poisoning himself with, than why should I?
I was married to a drinker
Posted by: buzzyj
Posted on: 2004-11-08 20:43:30
My whole life revolved around taking care of him and hiding from people. It is not a lifestyle that is compatible with raising children. I left him after seven years and never looked back. PS. He quit drinking four years later.
Posted by: buzzyj
Posted on: 2004-11-08 20:43:30
My whole life revolved around taking care of him and hiding from people. It is not a lifestyle that is compatible with raising children. I left him after seven years and never looked back. PS. He quit drinking four years later.
I can relate!
Posted by: petruccell
Posted on: 2004-11-09 20:24:36
I just read your posting and it hit very, very close to home. I am 33 years old now, but when I was younger I was in the same position as you. I am truly hoping that my experience can help you and lead you down a different path... I also dated a guy with a drinking problem. I also didn't drink at the time. And I also was the only one who cared enough to try to fix the relationship. I couldn't and now am so glad for it! You are not married, you have no kids, you can walk or run away and never look back. Picture your life with him if you were living together and had no money, but he still went out partying. Or if you were married to him and he cheated or hit you. Or if you were pregnat and went into labor, but he was too drunk to drive to to the hospital and too drunk to experience the birth of the baby with you. Or if you had kids and your job as a mother was to protect them from everything, but their father was a drunk and the children were suffering because of it...
I truly hope you have played out all of these situations in your head because they will happen to you! I luckilly left my drunk boyfriend and it was not easy! I felt lost, alone, unloved and to top it all off I lost alot of my friends at the time. Well, I am so happy for all of those bad feelings, because now I couldn't be happier. I moved on and years and years (and many tears) later met my husband. We got married and had 2 children and live a wonderful life. The same can happen for you!
Posted by: petruccell
Posted on: 2004-11-09 20:24:36
I just read your posting and it hit very, very close to home. I am 33 years old now, but when I was younger I was in the same position as you. I am truly hoping that my experience can help you and lead you down a different path... I also dated a guy with a drinking problem. I also didn't drink at the time. And I also was the only one who cared enough to try to fix the relationship. I couldn't and now am so glad for it! You are not married, you have no kids, you can walk or run away and never look back. Picture your life with him if you were living together and had no money, but he still went out partying. Or if you were married to him and he cheated or hit you. Or if you were pregnat and went into labor, but he was too drunk to drive to to the hospital and too drunk to experience the birth of the baby with you. Or if you had kids and your job as a mother was to protect them from everything, but their father was a drunk and the children were suffering because of it...
I truly hope you have played out all of these situations in your head because they will happen to you! I luckilly left my drunk boyfriend and it was not easy! I felt lost, alone, unloved and to top it all off I lost alot of my friends at the time. Well, I am so happy for all of those bad feelings, because now I couldn't be happier. I moved on and years and years (and many tears) later met my husband. We got married and had 2 children and live a wonderful life. The same can happen for you!
Go with your gut
Posted by: jac2to
Posted on: 2004-11-12 01:17:48
Let me tell you from experience I have been married for 20 some years to a drinker. Next thing you know he starts coming home late or out with the boys a few times not at all or early the next AM around 4 or 5. I traveled out of town once in awhile but every time I was gone it happened. The affair. I also aked him if he was cheating his reply was NO, My gut feeling told me Yes. Friends had told me he was cheeting but he always talked his way out of it every time. So for many years I had allowed myself to belive his story. I found out he had an affair with the same women for 8 years. His famous line was "it only happened when I was drunk". and of course it didn't mean a thing. I have spent the last 10 years of my life dealing with his affair and his drinking and it is no better. The affair has stopped and I do not go out of town anymore. He still drinks. . I belive once a cheeter always a cheeter. Who is to say he will not due it again. Just because he was drunk and it didn't mean a thing. Think out side of the box. Good luck. J
Posted by: jac2to
Posted on: 2004-11-12 01:17:48
Let me tell you from experience I have been married for 20 some years to a drinker. Next thing you know he starts coming home late or out with the boys a few times not at all or early the next AM around 4 or 5. I traveled out of town once in awhile but every time I was gone it happened. The affair. I also aked him if he was cheating his reply was NO, My gut feeling told me Yes. Friends had told me he was cheeting but he always talked his way out of it every time. So for many years I had allowed myself to belive his story. I found out he had an affair with the same women for 8 years. His famous line was "it only happened when I was drunk". and of course it didn't mean a thing. I have spent the last 10 years of my life dealing with his affair and his drinking and it is no better. The affair has stopped and I do not go out of town anymore. He still drinks. . I belive once a cheeter always a cheeter. Who is to say he will not due it again. Just because he was drunk and it didn't mean a thing. Think out side of the box. Good luck. J
married to pa rtyer
Posted by: mastag
Posted on: 2004-11-05 21:07:18
robin, after 30 years of marriage I found out I was married to a guy who abused alcohol. I didn't realize how much he was drinking untill he had such a personality change. He became a very mean person who would say things that were very hurtful and did things I couldn't believe he would ever do.To make a long story short today I'm still struggling with trusting him and loving him. I haven't been able to get past all the awful things he said and did. I find it hard to forgive when he hasn't apologized or acknowledge the hurt he caused by his behavior.
Posted by: mastag
Posted on: 2004-11-05 21:07:18
robin, after 30 years of marriage I found out I was married to a guy who abused alcohol. I didn't realize how much he was drinking untill he had such a personality change. He became a very mean person who would say things that were very hurtful and did things I couldn't believe he would ever do.To make a long story short today I'm still struggling with trusting him and loving him. I haven't been able to get past all the awful things he said and did. I find it hard to forgive when he hasn't apologized or acknowledge the hurt he caused by his behavior.
living with the drinker
Posted by: sharonj52
Posted on: 2004-11-20 09:05:36
I am dealing with the drinker of 30 years too.
I think the name calling of my kids put the icing on the cake for me. He was a sweetheart when sober, but slowly those times became less & less. He has become physically abusive several times too- usually at card games that have gone into overtime.
I had to get out. I am grieving in a way because the holidays are upon us & I won't be with him. But I know everything will be ok. I wish I could make him stop drinking, but I can't. He is the loser in life. I plan on enjoying life-sober!
Sharon
Posted by: sharonj52
Posted on: 2004-11-20 09:05:36
I am dealing with the drinker of 30 years too.
I think the name calling of my kids put the icing on the cake for me. He was a sweetheart when sober, but slowly those times became less & less. He has become physically abusive several times too- usually at card games that have gone into overtime.
I had to get out. I am grieving in a way because the holidays are upon us & I won't be with him. But I know everything will be ok. I wish I could make him stop drinking, but I can't. He is the loser in life. I plan on enjoying life-sober!
Sharon
Looking Drunk
Posted by: m9perry
Posted on: 2004-11-05 10:40:53
I'm amazed at how ridiculous these people look, not to mention sleezy - on the video tapes, but when talking to Dr. Phil everyone of them is laughhing and thinking this is so funny. Isn't it time to grow up? This reminds me of college days.. Everyone is drunk, having sex, puking and passing out... but oh how funny to talk about this in the morning. Unbelievable!
Posted by: m9perry
Posted on: 2004-11-05 10:40:53
I'm amazed at how ridiculous these people look, not to mention sleezy - on the video tapes, but when talking to Dr. Phil everyone of them is laughhing and thinking this is so funny. Isn't it time to grow up? This reminds me of college days.. Everyone is drunk, having sex, puking and passing out... but oh how funny to talk about this in the morning. Unbelievable!
Yo! Your Drunk Behavior is an Embarrassment!
Posted by: nancyp609
Posted on: 2004-11-05 11:46:45
I was thinking the same thing: they were all laughing at their behavior, not showing the slightest bit of embarrassment. When Dr Phil asked them about it, they just laughed or had what they thought was a cute explanation.
I don't believe any of them that said they wouldn't drive after a night of drinking - the video tape proved they would.
The other thing that amazed me was how much some of them drank! How often and how many drinks they consumed. Wow! I feel two light beers and these folks were having 4, 5, 6 OR MORE!
Very revealing show.
Posted by: nancyp609
Posted on: 2004-11-05 11:46:45
I was thinking the same thing: they were all laughing at their behavior, not showing the slightest bit of embarrassment. When Dr Phil asked them about it, they just laughed or had what they thought was a cute explanation.
I don't believe any of them that said they wouldn't drive after a night of drinking - the video tape proved they would.
The other thing that amazed me was how much some of them drank! How often and how many drinks they consumed. Wow! I feel two light beers and these folks were having 4, 5, 6 OR MORE!
Very revealing show.
A realistic driving test?
Posted by: kvr100x64c
Posted on: 2004-11-05 17:05:11
I agree that people generally make fools of themselves when drunk, and that it's a bad idea to drink and drive, no matter how well you think that you can do. However, I don't think that the viceo "proved they would...drive after a night of drinking." It proved that they would step into a driving simulator for Dr. Phil's little experiment.
Additionally, a driving simulator (no matter how good and realistic the images) is no predictor of performance in a car. It is unrealistic in two fundamental ways. First, the person "driving" knows that it is a simulator, and so they don't take it seriously. Second (and perhaps more convincing) the "feel" of the simulator is all wrong. The momentum of acceleration and braking is missed, and the driver thereby loses his/her primary method for determining the effectiveness of their car's braking, steering, etc.
Dr. Phil would have done better to make a simple obstacle course with some traffic cones and simulated obstacles. I that the results of the simulator were both unrealistic and simply used for shock value, and I think Dr. Phil was manipulating the results to knock a little sense into these people. Hey, I know that drinking and driving is a problem, but c'mon. Three pedestrians, two dogs, three accidents and six tickets? Yeah right.
Posted by: kvr100x64c
Posted on: 2004-11-05 17:05:11
I agree that people generally make fools of themselves when drunk, and that it's a bad idea to drink and drive, no matter how well you think that you can do. However, I don't think that the viceo "proved they would...drive after a night of drinking." It proved that they would step into a driving simulator for Dr. Phil's little experiment.
Additionally, a driving simulator (no matter how good and realistic the images) is no predictor of performance in a car. It is unrealistic in two fundamental ways. First, the person "driving" knows that it is a simulator, and so they don't take it seriously. Second (and perhaps more convincing) the "feel" of the simulator is all wrong. The momentum of acceleration and braking is missed, and the driver thereby loses his/her primary method for determining the effectiveness of their car's braking, steering, etc.
Dr. Phil would have done better to make a simple obstacle course with some traffic cones and simulated obstacles. I that the results of the simulator were both unrealistic and simply used for shock value, and I think Dr. Phil was manipulating the results to knock a little sense into these people. Hey, I know that drinking and driving is a problem, but c'mon. Three pedestrians, two dogs, three accidents and six tickets? Yeah right.
