02/26 A Family Divided

Good Job!
Posted by: sandycje
Posted on: 2004-02-26 09:30:22

I think it's great to give Alex this opportunity. It could really be a changing experience in her life. Now Dr. Phil needs to find out what Katherine has a passion for and he needs to set something up for her to help her realize that there is more out there than just boys.
My daughter is 11. She has been taking dance since she was 4. She LOVES it. She takes four hour long dance classes a week. It costs way more than I can really afford, but I'm doing it because it's her passion. She is more poised and mature than a lot of girls her age and she has built confidence in herself. She is too busy too worry so much about what so-in-so says about so-in-so. Keeping kids busy doing something they love is important.
Why not her horse?
Posted by: reepslady
Posted on: 2004-02-26 10:08:16

I have always wondered about this. She is very lucky that they can have this horse for her, I think she shines when she talks about it or is near it. I think it would be an excellent passion for her to look after the horse, and maybe one day she might find herself in a career looking after animals. I don't think she would have a horse of her own if someone had not seen a passion for it in her.
I agree!
Posted by: jennlull
Posted on: 2004-02-26 17:22:13

Origional Statement: I have always wondered about this. She is very lucky that they can have this horse for her, I think she shines when she talks about it or is near it. I think it would be an excellent passion for her to look after the horse, and maybe one day she might find herself in a career looking after animals. I don't think she would have a horse of her own if someone had not seen a passion for it in her.

I agree completley. In some ways, I'm so jealous of Katherine. I LOVE horses and have always wanted one. I think it's great that her family is willing to provide her with such a costly companion, others aren't so lucky.

When I see Katherine talk about her horse, I can identify with her so easily! I love simply being around horses... I always get this goofy smile whenever I ride, or am simply NEAR them.

Caring for an animal is also a great way to learn responsibility and compassion. I hope Katherine takes this opportunity and can turn it into something she loves.

~Jenn
NIU, DeKalb
horses and healing
Posted by: houndmom
Posted on: 2004-02-26 22:59:38

You are so right -- Katherine does light up when talking about her horse, and he or she may well be the best therapy Katherine could ever hope for (sorry, Dr. Phil!)

Interesting thing about horses -- many native American cultures view them as healing animals. I have to agree. As a horse owner (I hate that word "owner".. how about "companion") for the past 34 years, I know that working with horses opens up your soul. They are very social, very perceptive, very communicative beings. Their intricate language is very pure and straightforward, unlike that of many human beings. Disabled people make great strides through equine-assisted therapy. I have seen amazing progress in some of my learning disabled and behavior disordered students, simply by letting them learn the language of horses and be around them. I have learned more than I can say from one of my equine companions. At age 24, he now suffers from a terminal disease, and through this fight has taught me, in turn, to have faith in God and the power of sheer will to live.

You appear to have "the passion," Jenn... instead of being jealous, why not see of you can find a way to hang out with horses? You don't have to own them -- try a local equine therapy group. They always seem to need volunteers.

To learn from a horse, one must merely be open to hearing what they have to say.

just a thought...

hound(and horse)mom
Learning from Horses
Posted by: barngodess
Posted on: 2004-03-01 08:49:13

I totally agree that horses are healers. I bought my daughter her horse when she was 10 years old. At the time, I worked in our local school district and we had two 6th grade girls who were pregnant. I wanted something for my daughter to focus on besides boys! It wasn't easy to afford to keep the horse, but we cleaned stalls and volunteered at a handicapped riding school for board. My daughter learned compassion, patience and love from both her horse and the people we worked with. She now has her master's, works in a hospital lab and is married to a wonderful guy in dental school. Her horse is 'retired' in my pasture, having helped me raise a caring, thoughtful person.
Kathrine, stay with your horse - he has much to teach you.
hang in there alex
Posted by: argreenlee
Posted on: 2004-03-04 11:50:35

I just wanted to let alex know that her life is not over. I am proof of that. I had my daughter when I was sixteen, and I could not picture my life without her. I finished high school, and I am now in my fifth year of college,studing to be a teacher, and I have been at my same job for five years. Also, I found a wonderfol man and we are getting married in july. Alex can still have some fun, but your first priority is your son, and school. You deserve to go out occasionaly, but when you are out, remember that every choice you make will affect your son. Your life is not over just because you have a baby, and your dreams are possible, you just have to work a little harder than most people your age.
very true
Posted by: nailgrl03
Posted on: 2004-03-09 11:56:09

I definately agree. I know exactly how you feel Alex. I was 18 when I found out I was pregnant with my son. I was in beauty school and I had just started. My baby's dad had just left for basic training the week before I found out. I was all alone for the telling of my parents, doctors appointments, and everything else. My boyfriend wanted me to give the baby up. I kept my son, finished beauty school, and worked a part-time job. None of the people around me that were my age wanted anything to do with me. I just wanted you to know that you can do anything. Also I had my son in September of 03 and his name is Nathaniel (Nathan)! I had him right before your birth aired.
He doesn't 'get' it
Posted by: moonroper
Posted on: 2004-02-27 00:43:15

I've only had a chance to watch portions of the show today however was once again struck by how Marty, and Erin, just don't 'get' it. Time and time again Dr. Phil has asked Marty to "step up to the plate" and change. Each time Marty has chosen not to do that. Perhaps if he has less 'camera' time he might be motivated to take an active role in the family. Erin sits on stage and nods her head with that "you're so right and I so understand" look yet continues to do little to protect and enrich the lives of her children.
It's unfortunate that Alex has to be learning such hard lessons the hard way. Sometimes that's the only way and how I wish it weren't so for anyone. Katherine cries out for attention and who can blame her. Both girls are beautiful with unlimited potentials. How sad they don't seem to have parents who can grow up, deal with their own 'issues', either get their acts together or split up, and then give those girls the attention each child deserves.
If Alex and Katherine become well-adjusted, successful, happy adults it will be despite the lack of support from their parents not because of it.
Good luck Alex and Katherine, both of you can soar!
I disagree
Posted by: steffennie
Posted on: 2004-02-27 01:32:46

I agree with you to a point. I think that Marty is nothing but a great actor who can turn on the water works whenever he wants and thinks he should. I have seen a huge change in Erin since the show started. You can look in her eyes now and see that she is completely broken hearted about the way her girls see themselves and she is a caring and good mother. I think Katherine takes after her dad and Alex is like Erin. There are changes in those two.
I think you are wrong
Posted by: reepslady
Posted on: 2004-02-27 10:10:35

I don't think Marty has chosen not to step up to the plate at all. In fact I think he wants to, and just really has no idea how. In previous episodes we have seen him make attempts to get closer to Katherine, only to have her reject him. But that always gets forgotten. I honestly think he wants to be closer to his girls, but needs to learn HOW. He has some great suggestions that I think we will see him follow (the "dates"). As for Erin, we see her asking Dr Phil about birth control (which she has expressed concerns about it condoning)but she was willing to hear what HE thought before making a decision. We are looking at parents who, although they should have started earlier, are trying very hard to bring this family together, and I for one am willing to give them credit for that. I am not saying they do not still have work to do, but for goodness sake, give them credit where it is due once in a while. If I was putting myself through what they have been through on this show just to have people say I had not done a thing, I would almost want to give up. I am sure they feel that way too. Why haven't they? Because they know it's important for their family. That in itself is a step in the right direction.
Oh, Marty!
Posted by: miffed420
Posted on: 2004-03-01 09:22:27

Marty should know how to change, Dr. Phil has told him time and again how to do this. He just can't get it through his thick skull. It's a matter of necessity at this point, not choosing!
Oh, Marty
Posted by: chelsaem
Posted on: 2004-03-03 11:10:14

I understand where you are comeing from as far as saying "Oh Marty" I say give the man a break, yes he might have a thick skull, But, This is the way he was raised and it will take a while for him "To change" He has been under a lot of pressure too. I am a women, but I see how dominering and crabby Erin is. She has to give in a little too!
I think she has given alot.
Posted by: kay_bek
Posted on: 2004-03-03 17:28:31

If you think that she is crabby and domineering maybe it is because she feels that she has taken the marriage a little more seriously than Marty.
Do not forget that Marty had affairs. Even after that Erin is still there - but she is hurting. Marty and Erin have made progress and I really hope thier marriage can make it. Despite everything, I think they still love each other. They are both learning how to forgive and forget and are beginning to recognise that it takes the two of them to make a marrige.
Here's what I think
Posted by: farfromit
Posted on: 2004-03-13 01:45:12

When I see Marty on the show, I see my ex. I was never sure if he wanted to connect or not. It gave me hope to hear him say he felt like a (teenager) when Robin helped him with his date, though. He put so much work into it. I think he should, now, try remembering some of the little things that his wife loves (favorite candy, movie, flower, anything) and do little things a few times a week. Romance her a little all the time. And then, I think he should give her as much time as it takes to rebuild her trust in him. His actions come with consequences, too. Hang in there, though. If it takes a long, long time, at least he'd get lots of practice.
You are so right!
Posted by: granma_mom
Posted on: 2004-02-28 14:09:21

This is exactly what I am seeing. Dad doesn't do a thing, and Mom nods and agrees, but doesn't change anything either.
granma mom
Posted by: wma5000
Posted on: 2004-03-01 08:45:17

You are completely right in your feelings however with Mom's attitude towards Dad, what can he do. She is like a cold fish, it is her way or no way and the only way to deal with her is to knock her high and mighty ways down a few notches. She feels superior to everyone and makes old Dad feel like he is completely stupid which is wrong. As for Katherine, she too is a know it all person but desprately needs her Dad's guidance and love and without it she will be adding another baby to that house very soon. Alex, you were right when you said that she will be pregnant again soon because she is looking for the male attention, approval and love in all the wrong places.What a way to learn a lesson girls, it's a life sentence. This mess with Erin calling herself Mommy to the girls, grow up Erin, it's either Mother or Mom, they ARE over 3 years old now. I wish the girls the very best but I don't think that they will get any change out of Mom and the only way that Dad will change is to get out and make his own life, away from Miss.High and Mighty Know It All.Like Katherine, if I were living in that family I would want to be adopted out too, maybe a new, more strict family could help her.
What??
Posted by: kay_bek
Posted on: 2004-03-03 17:52:19

MoM, Mommy, Mother - who cares? When my siblings and I talk about our parents(and we are all 25+)we refer to our Mother as Mommie. So what? If my mother were still alive I would still address her as Mommie. She was my Mommie.

I do not see Erin as thinking she is "High and Mighty". I see a woman who has had to deal with the infidelities of her husband. She has built a wall to protect herself from ever being hurt again.

I have noticed that the wall has been comimg down(apprehensively so).She usually addresses her childern with terms of endearment and I have seen her show the tender side when it comes to Marty's past.

I hope it all works out for this family. They are all good people. I admire Erin for taking her marriage vows seriously and still hanging in there. I admire Marty for realising that he has made mistakes and for trying to rectify things.
Give me a break
Posted by: wattzy
Posted on: 2004-02-28 23:19:33

hey,
You can't say Marty and Erin arent stepping up to the plate. They can't be at school w/ katherine to make sure shes the perfect daughter. Yea they have made some bad decisions as parents but they are trying. You can't expect them to change over night. They are walking into a whole new world. Takes time to get comfortable in new territory. Why do you think Dr. Phil decided to stay w/ this family for a year or longer because he knows this kinda thing can't change over night. They're 1 million times better now then they were before.
Sick to death of Marty and Erin
Posted by: jakesadie
Posted on: 2004-03-04 18:07:46

They are complete idiots. I can't believe Dr. Phil is putting up with them. They are morons. Rich people wanting people to feel sorry for them. Then the mom not wanting the girl being on birth control. How stupid is that? These are rich people that's kids have been handed everything. Now Dr.Phil is giving more. Stupid, I can't believe the time and money that has gone on for this family. Why not help someone that really needs it?
marty and erine
Posted by: grannyred5
Posted on: 2004-03-07 01:25:23

I think Marty and Erine deserve another chance ,I was happy to see that Erine is taking some responsibility in contributing to Marty running around I think Erine needs to put her daughters on birth controll as they are healthy breathing human beings and it is easy to make not just one but several mistakes and by putting them on birth controll is not giving them permission to have sex, but right now Alex is very confused since she has had the baby that no decent boy would want her . Wrong way to look at things Alex their isn't a person alive that hasen't made a mistake , keep your standard high for you self nothing but the best for you and your son . I wish this family the best of luck they have had enough of bad times .I know they are going to make it God is watching over them grannyred5