01/08 A Family Divided: America Talks Back
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Posted by: da_dad66
Posted on: 2004-01-08 07:58:31
I was a teen parent too, at 17 i had my first, my girlfriend/ex-wife was 15 just like you. we had 2 boys 20 mo. apart.
i wanted to say that you are not alone and your goals should stay unchanged. that women who bashed you today was very ignorant.
my parents were disappointed that i was a teen-parent, but that never changed the support and understanding they gave to me. i was able to finish high school with a 3.5 gpa. only problem was, i went to get my diploma holding my 2yr old boy, while my wife held our 6month old.
you keep little nathan, and do your best girl. im 25 now, and i dont regret a thing. i saw the show wile deployed in afghanistan. im in the army.
Posted by: da_dad66
Posted on: 2004-01-08 07:58:31
I was a teen parent too, at 17 i had my first, my girlfriend/ex-wife was 15 just like you. we had 2 boys 20 mo. apart.
i wanted to say that you are not alone and your goals should stay unchanged. that women who bashed you today was very ignorant.
my parents were disappointed that i was a teen-parent, but that never changed the support and understanding they gave to me. i was able to finish high school with a 3.5 gpa. only problem was, i went to get my diploma holding my 2yr old boy, while my wife held our 6month old.
you keep little nathan, and do your best girl. im 25 now, and i dont regret a thing. i saw the show wile deployed in afghanistan. im in the army.
Posted by: deearls200
Posted on: 2004-01-08 09:55:33
Hey I am a teen mother as well. I was only 15 years old when I had my baby. I think that the woman who said Alex has nothing to offer is very ignorant. Right now all I have is love and my parents are helping me money wise. I have already got my ged and have started college. I think that the people that are bashing Alex should shut up because they are not in her shoes. I am very glad she keep her baby and I think if she didn't she would regret later down the road. Also I think that you are doing an excellent job rasing Nathan. Good Luck and Don't listen to those dumb people who don't know anything.
Posted by: youngmom85
Posted on: 2004-01-08 15:50:44
Hi, I am also a teen mother, I had my daughter when I was 16 yrs old. and yes I did have help from my parents at first. I dont think you should ever be ashamed for having help. It does not make you any worse of a parent. And how dare that woman who said she was a better parent because she planed her pregnacy. She was only 3 yrs older than alexandra. My daughter is now 19 months old and she has everything she needs or wants. I just now got my high school diploma and start college in next year. So who ever thinks you cant do anything or give a child anything in needs just because u are a young mother needs to think again!! Good luck alexandra..I am sure u will also give your son everything he needs.And be a great mother!!!!
Posted by: micsha17
Posted on: 2004-01-08 17:22:12
youngmom87
you are so right that lady had no right to say that everyone needs help. I think alexandra is doing a great job parenting. Every parent has there ups and down i have a 9 month old and wow its alot of work no one said parenting was easy. Keep up the good work alexandra. your a great mom.
alex
Posted by: lady_stets
Posted on: 2004-01-08 17:25:15
You are so right that parents have their ups and downs. I know that I have a 3 year old and a 9 month old and I have my good days and my bad days. Alex is doing the best that she can do at this time. I wish that her parents would get along with the girls and help out everywhere they can.
Posted by: lady_stets
Posted on: 2004-01-08 17:25:15
You are so right that parents have their ups and downs. I know that I have a 3 year old and a 9 month old and I have my good days and my bad days. Alex is doing the best that she can do at this time. I wish that her parents would get along with the girls and help out everywhere they can.
Make the right choices...
Posted by: beachdiane
Posted on: 2004-01-09 15:26:18
I applaud any young mother who realizes that her personal life will have to be "put on hold" while she loves and cares for her child. Think how confusing it will be for a one or two year old to see "Mommie" going out with the girls or "partying" with her classmates. The important years for a child's well being and self esteem are 0 - 4 years old. That means the mother has to be there 100% for the development of her child. What worries me about young mothers is that they are generally not mature enough to let go of what they gave up to have their baby. I hope that never happens to Alexandra. There will be plenty of time for Alexandra when she is in her twenties to explore a personal life.
Posted by: beachdiane
Posted on: 2004-01-09 15:26:18
I applaud any young mother who realizes that her personal life will have to be "put on hold" while she loves and cares for her child. Think how confusing it will be for a one or two year old to see "Mommie" going out with the girls or "partying" with her classmates. The important years for a child's well being and self esteem are 0 - 4 years old. That means the mother has to be there 100% for the development of her child. What worries me about young mothers is that they are generally not mature enough to let go of what they gave up to have their baby. I hope that never happens to Alexandra. There will be plenty of time for Alexandra when she is in her twenties to explore a personal life.
reply to beachdiane
Posted by: hartscreek
Posted on: 2004-01-10 12:17:01
You are exactly right. I became a mother at 15. I gave up my teenage years for my son. I am now 18 and doing great with my son. I don't regret anything. What are teenage years anyway? Just a time to ruin your life.. Most teenagers go out and drink and party and destroy their life. Im glad I had my son when I did. He's the best thing that ever happen to me.
Posted by: hartscreek
Posted on: 2004-01-10 12:17:01
You are exactly right. I became a mother at 15. I gave up my teenage years for my son. I am now 18 and doing great with my son. I don't regret anything. What are teenage years anyway? Just a time to ruin your life.. Most teenagers go out and drink and party and destroy their life. Im glad I had my son when I did. He's the best thing that ever happen to me.
Reply to Hartscreek
Posted by: beachdiane
Posted on: 2004-01-11 14:46:01
You are a very wise 18 year old young mother. Raising a child can be complicated at any age. It takes total dedication, repetition, loads of love and guidance, but, equally as important is that during the first years you teach them the meaning of the word "respect" by being there for them 24 hours a day. Children learn through example. Good luck to you and your child. You are going to do just fine.
Posted by: beachdiane
Posted on: 2004-01-11 14:46:01
You are a very wise 18 year old young mother. Raising a child can be complicated at any age. It takes total dedication, repetition, loads of love and guidance, but, equally as important is that during the first years you teach them the meaning of the word "respect" by being there for them 24 hours a day. Children learn through example. Good luck to you and your child. You are going to do just fine.
Adoption
Posted by: benslat313
Posted on: 2004-01-11 01:40:15
It's just frustrating to see adoption is such a dirty word when it comes to teenagers. Though I believe with all my heart with the help they and are the greatest parnets. There are so many people out there that waited to have kids and are willing to do anything to have a baby and can't. Adoption is one of the hardest thing a young person can do. Couples wait and wait years for the one glimmer of hope to have a child where they have gone through numerous heartbreaks already trying to have their own child. I just wish adoption was portrayed more in the media and television. Dr.Phil didn't even talk about it that much he just kind of glossed over it. Which I understand because she had already made her mind up what she wanted to do and I think he wanted to support her and the family in the best way he could. I hope he gives us updates on the families that were trying to adopt.
Posted by: benslat313
Posted on: 2004-01-11 01:40:15
It's just frustrating to see adoption is such a dirty word when it comes to teenagers. Though I believe with all my heart with the help they and are the greatest parnets. There are so many people out there that waited to have kids and are willing to do anything to have a baby and can't. Adoption is one of the hardest thing a young person can do. Couples wait and wait years for the one glimmer of hope to have a child where they have gone through numerous heartbreaks already trying to have their own child. I just wish adoption was portrayed more in the media and television. Dr.Phil didn't even talk about it that much he just kind of glossed over it. Which I understand because she had already made her mind up what she wanted to do and I think he wanted to support her and the family in the best way he could. I hope he gives us updates on the families that were trying to adopt.
Adoption
Posted by: jenzbenz
Posted on: 2004-01-13 10:12:46
I just recently placed my daughter for adoption. It was the best decsion I have ever made. Although it is hard for me everyday, I know that she is happy and healthy where she is. I wish Dr. Phil would have try to convince Alex to look harder at the option of adoption. There are plenty of people out there who can not have children and deserve to have children. My daughters adoptive parents are wonderful people, and I get to see her whenever I want, and I get to call whenever I want. Adoption is not a bad option.
Posted by: jenzbenz
Posted on: 2004-01-13 10:12:46
I just recently placed my daughter for adoption. It was the best decsion I have ever made. Although it is hard for me everyday, I know that she is happy and healthy where she is. I wish Dr. Phil would have try to convince Alex to look harder at the option of adoption. There are plenty of people out there who can not have children and deserve to have children. My daughters adoptive parents are wonderful people, and I get to see her whenever I want, and I get to call whenever I want. Adoption is not a bad option.
Posted by: jocelyna
Posted on: 2004-01-13 10:25:39
how can you say that adoption is best? did you think of how that child will feel about you later on in life for giving her up for adoption? my mother lost custody of me when i was 3 years old and i lived with my great aunt and uncle who took very good care of me. but to this day, even though i get to see my mom, i have recentment for her not trying to do better with her life to keep me because there is no better love than your real parents love. i know that my mom loves me, but i wish that i could have grew up with her and learned little things about her, like her favorite color, favorite foods, or tv show. those little things mean alot.
For Jocelyna
Posted by: thorvet
Posted on: 2004-01-13 11:10:45
Maybe she couldn't do better with her life, and they (your aunt and uncle) wanted to do better for your life. If there is no better love than your "real parents" love, then why did she only think of herself by not trying to do better with her life? If your mother loved you as much as you want to believe, why didn't she try to do better to make the effort to straighten up? Where is your "real" father?
"Real" love is demonstrated by selflessness. Providing for physical (roof over head, clothing, food), emotional (being there when you're needed), spiritual (moral training) needs is what "real parents" do. Blood has nothing to do with it. Instead of wasting your energy resenting your bio-parent, try focusing your energies into what you did have: an aunt and uncle who loved you enough to rescue you from foster care and give you a good life. Favorite things of your bio-mom are very shallow things and don't reveal her character, her actions did.
Posted by: thorvet
Posted on: 2004-01-13 11:10:45
Maybe she couldn't do better with her life, and they (your aunt and uncle) wanted to do better for your life. If there is no better love than your "real parents" love, then why did she only think of herself by not trying to do better with her life? If your mother loved you as much as you want to believe, why didn't she try to do better to make the effort to straighten up? Where is your "real" father?
"Real" love is demonstrated by selflessness. Providing for physical (roof over head, clothing, food), emotional (being there when you're needed), spiritual (moral training) needs is what "real parents" do. Blood has nothing to do with it. Instead of wasting your energy resenting your bio-parent, try focusing your energies into what you did have: an aunt and uncle who loved you enough to rescue you from foster care and give you a good life. Favorite things of your bio-mom are very shallow things and don't reveal her character, her actions did.
Posted by: teenmom_x2
Posted on: 2004-01-16 23:23:27
You can't give what you don't have. I am not being selfish by not giving my daughter a million dollars because I don't have a million dollars. Real love or selflessness is demonstrated by giving all you have. Was the Virgin Mary selfish and not really love or deserve Jesus because she couldn't provide him with a roof over his head?
teenmomx2
Posted by: tracymc67
Posted on: 2004-01-17 09:51:23
You need to re-read your bible. The Virgin Mary, first of all, was impregnated by God Himself, and Mary WAS a married woman when she had Jesus. Mary was chosen among all women to bear the Lord and Savior. No, Mary was unselfish because she said yes when God asked her to have His son, so His son could come to earth and save sinners from Hell. And Joseph and Mary had a home. The only reason Jesus was born in a manger, was because they were traveling to their hometown to register, per order from the ruler back then. Plus, God provided for His son.
A person who keeps a child, and either has to have their parents pay for the expenses, or who has to go on welfare, instead of doing what is best for the child, IS SELFISH. The Virgin Mary was not a selfish person.
Posted by: tracymc67
Posted on: 2004-01-17 09:51:23
You need to re-read your bible. The Virgin Mary, first of all, was impregnated by God Himself, and Mary WAS a married woman when she had Jesus. Mary was chosen among all women to bear the Lord and Savior. No, Mary was unselfish because she said yes when God asked her to have His son, so His son could come to earth and save sinners from Hell. And Joseph and Mary had a home. The only reason Jesus was born in a manger, was because they were traveling to their hometown to register, per order from the ruler back then. Plus, God provided for His son.
A person who keeps a child, and either has to have their parents pay for the expenses, or who has to go on welfare, instead of doing what is best for the child, IS SELFISH. The Virgin Mary was not a selfish person.
Posted by: mrsadwell
Posted on: 2004-01-18 17:19:45
As we all know we all sin....God sent Jesus to save us from our sins.we all make mistakes and I admire this girl for keeping her child and taking care of him and not giving him up for adoption. when I was sixteen I got pregnant with my first child. my husband and I got married when I was five months pregnant. We are still married and have been married for six years in april. We now have three children. our parents have always been there for us any time we needed advise or help.That is what a parent is for and I will be there for my children as well in a time of need. My point being sometimes there is a need for adoption when the mother fells that she cant take care of her child emotionally or she doesnt have any help with it.
teenmom X2
Posted by: tracymc67
Posted on: 2004-01-17 09:59:14
Sorry, but your facts on the Virgin Mary are incorrect. Perhaps you need to spend more time reading the scripture. The Virgin Mary was a young lady who was asked by God to bear His son, Jesus, so He could come to earth to save sinners from Hell. Hers was an immaculate conception. Not a sinful one out of wedlock. She and Joseph married and the only reason she bore Jesus in a stable was because they were traveling. They had a home. And no, they didn't have a million dollars but God provided. Not their parents or the government.
And yes, as an adoptee myself, I feel that young girls who do not use adoption, yet keep the children and use the welfare system or have their parents foot the bill are selfish. JMO. Real love is what my bio mom did, and true selflessness.
Posted by: tracymc67
Posted on: 2004-01-17 09:59:14
Sorry, but your facts on the Virgin Mary are incorrect. Perhaps you need to spend more time reading the scripture. The Virgin Mary was a young lady who was asked by God to bear His son, Jesus, so He could come to earth to save sinners from Hell. Hers was an immaculate conception. Not a sinful one out of wedlock. She and Joseph married and the only reason she bore Jesus in a stable was because they were traveling. They had a home. And no, they didn't have a million dollars but God provided. Not their parents or the government.
And yes, as an adoptee myself, I feel that young girls who do not use adoption, yet keep the children and use the welfare system or have their parents foot the bill are selfish. JMO. Real love is what my bio mom did, and true selflessness.
thorvet
Posted by: jocelyna
Posted on: 2004-01-17 13:00:11
I am grateful for what my aunt and uncle have done for me. i probably woundn't be here right now if not for them. still to this day my real mom hasn't changed her ways. and as for my real father. i don't care to see him. when i was 8 years old my cousin and i went for a visit with him to stay for the first time over night and that night i will never forget. it stays stuck in my head and little things always remind me of that night when he molested me while my cousin slept in the bed next to me not knowing what was happening. i have seen and talked to him since, but don't care to have him in my life for those reasons. i can't forgive him for that. i'll always remember.
Posted by: jocelyna
Posted on: 2004-01-17 13:00:11
I am grateful for what my aunt and uncle have done for me. i probably woundn't be here right now if not for them. still to this day my real mom hasn't changed her ways. and as for my real father. i don't care to see him. when i was 8 years old my cousin and i went for a visit with him to stay for the first time over night and that night i will never forget. it stays stuck in my head and little things always remind me of that night when he molested me while my cousin slept in the bed next to me not knowing what was happening. i have seen and talked to him since, but don't care to have him in my life for those reasons. i can't forgive him for that. i'll always remember.
To Jocelyna
Posted by: tracymc67
Posted on: 2004-01-15 14:36:17
I am an adoptee, and I knew my bio mom, but I didn't know she was my bio mom until I was 18. I am forever grateful to her for being unselfish and making sure I had a good life, one that she could not provide for me. I told her so, too.
Posted by: tracymc67
Posted on: 2004-01-15 14:36:17
I am an adoptee, and I knew my bio mom, but I didn't know she was my bio mom until I was 18. I am forever grateful to her for being unselfish and making sure I had a good life, one that she could not provide for me. I told her so, too.
Amen to this
Posted by: dherold
Posted on: 2004-01-31 21:13:23
I'd have to agree with you on this one. I feel this example of teenage pregnancy is an unfair mirepresentation to society, that this family supports this young mother and her son and all the expenses that accompany this. Not a fair representation of the average teenager facing this similar situation. I too was put up for adoption and my birth family found me 7 yrs. ago. I'm now 39 been married 19 years and have 2 children. I am greatful my family put me up for adoption. I have agreat family and now an extended family with now knowing my adopted family. I fear Alex's example of teenage pregnancy and coping with this issue is not fairly represented in to days society or even realistic. I agree that keeping a child is often done out of selfishness and in Alex's case, the fact that she actually had the financial support to do so. Otherwise her decision may have been different.
D Herold
Posted by: dherold
Posted on: 2004-01-31 21:13:23
I'd have to agree with you on this one. I feel this example of teenage pregnancy is an unfair mirepresentation to society, that this family supports this young mother and her son and all the expenses that accompany this. Not a fair representation of the average teenager facing this similar situation. I too was put up for adoption and my birth family found me 7 yrs. ago. I'm now 39 been married 19 years and have 2 children. I am greatful my family put me up for adoption. I have agreat family and now an extended family with now knowing my adopted family. I fear Alex's example of teenage pregnancy and coping with this issue is not fairly represented in to days society or even realistic. I agree that keeping a child is often done out of selfishness and in Alex's case, the fact that she actually had the financial support to do so. Otherwise her decision may have been different.
D Herold
You Made Your Bed
Posted by: angelina_l
Posted on: 2004-01-16 01:48:36
I am a teen mother of a beautiful two year old. I was pregnant at 16 and had my daughter at 17. My parents did not want me to ruin my chances of a better life and wanted to have an abortion or give my daughter up for adoption. I disagreed with them because I knew very well what could happen if I had sex, and I ignored it anyway. If you make your bed you should lie in it. That child was not asked to be brought in to the world by to irrisponsible people. You should have thought of that first.
Posted by: angelina_l
Posted on: 2004-01-16 01:48:36
I am a teen mother of a beautiful two year old. I was pregnant at 16 and had my daughter at 17. My parents did not want me to ruin my chances of a better life and wanted to have an abortion or give my daughter up for adoption. I disagreed with them because I knew very well what could happen if I had sex, and I ignored it anyway. If you make your bed you should lie in it. That child was not asked to be brought in to the world by to irrisponsible people. You should have thought of that first.
