01/29 A Family Divided: Alex's Journey

I can relate please read
Posted by: jenturner3
Posted on: 2004-01-29 08:03:14

Alex, I can relate to you. I was a unwed mother at 17 after finishing high school. I raised my daughter for 2 1/2 years before I realized that I could no longer keep this up. I was working 80 hours a week and things were still hard. I never made it to college. I finally decided the best thing for my baby was to let some one else raise her. My parents adopted her ,that was 18 years ago. She is now almost 20 and a very happy and well adjusted young woman. She knows I'm her mother and she thanks me for letting parents adopt her. It was the best thing for her and it was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life but I feel I did what was best for her. Hope this helps young mothers to see the other side of things. I think of her all the time but with a smile not a frown.
Tough, but was BEST DECISION
Posted by: stormyxoxo
Posted on: 2004-01-29 17:57:23

My daughter was 14 (in 8th grade), 'open adoption' was the decision. A total 'blessing' for everyone. She went from barely passing the 8th grade, to entering high shool and graduating in 3 yrs instead of four and getting a schoolarship. She worried how her classmates would react, they elected her as President of the FFA. They admired her, respected her. The family and us are VERY close friends and we see each other often. The 'Child' (privacy reasons) is now 7, knows my daughter had him, because his mom's 'tummy' was broke! He loves her VERY much and she loves him VERY much. She has never regretted this decision, nor have I. Yes, there are more options than just either 'having/raising the baby' or 'totally giving it up'.
To stormyxoxo
Posted by: tahtoo
Posted on: 2004-02-02 00:47:30

Sounds like a wonderful success. I have mixed feelings about the family on TV. I think they would have all gone to pot w/o Dr. Phil. Thank goodness he is helping them. I only hope that others will choose for themselves what to do and not think Alex is the posterchild for motherhood and all teens should keep their baby because Alex did. I do hope they will understand that each person has to make their own decision!!! KUDOS to you and your family.
thank you tahtoo!
Posted by: vero56
Posted on: 2004-02-05 11:00:53

Thank you tahtoo for saying that raising a baby isn't as easy as Alex makes it seems.. She has only taken care the baby for 3 months.... If she really wanted to know true motherhood, she should try taking care of the baby by herself. What I've been dying to know is how does Alex get money to pay for things for the baby? Whoe pays for her cell phone? How can the parents say that Alex totally takes care of the baby? Do you have any idea?
very true...
Posted by: youngmom04
Posted on: 2004-02-05 16:09:46

you are right. how does she pay for these things? but I give her credit because she seems to be taking care of him most of the time! she is doing a great job! I am 18 with a 1 1/2 yr old girl! I am a senior in my last semester..and i am going on to college..but i live on my own and pay for everything! i have a cell...my own apartment..i pay the bills. i dont ask for help from my parents! i think if we are responsible enough to have sex..we should be responsible enough to do everything on our own! i am doing it..so im sure others can. there is help out there! you are right though, how is she doing all of this..without a job?!?
I Agree
Posted by: seboles
Posted on: 2004-02-05 17:47:32

I totally agree with vero56. I'm 20 and I have a 4 month old daughter and I don't understand how they can say that she totally takes care of the baby when she couldn't possibly have the money to do so. I am very lucky that I make more money than most 20 year olds and am able to give my daughter everything that she could possibly want or need and I don't see how Alex could pay for all of the baby's expenses, if any. Being able to buy your baby diapers, formula, clothes, etc. is a major part of taking care of the baby and if she isn't doing that then she is not doing it by herself.
??????
Posted by: kmwalmsley
Posted on: 2004-02-05 21:55:08

Isn't the main point though that the baby is being taken care of, no matter who is paying for it. From what I have seen from watching the Dr. Phil show Alex is a great mother, and she is doing everything she can for that baby, which includes a lot more than buying stuff for him. I am sure in due time she will be getting a job to support her and the baby, but I think that it is wonderful that she has family that is willing to help her out for the time, she is just a child herself. Alex is strong and once she really realzes what it takes to be a parent she will do anything in her power to make sure that her baby is taken care of. Her family is wonderful, she is very lucky to have them.
what do you think now
Posted by: neldasg
Posted on: 2004-02-13 12:30:07

Yeah it dosnt matter who is paying for it all but they make it seem so easy to have a baby I dint have the same luck so it isnt easy if her parents dint have the money the situation would be totally different plus look at her now she wants to date she is so ungrateful for what she has she is just going to screw up again and she wont be the only one to suffer she is a very spoiled bratt. She shouldnt be advising anyone of anything.
wrong
Posted by: babyteagan
Posted on: 2004-03-05 20:05:54

just because she is wanting to date doesn't mean she is ungrateful. she is looking out for Nathan's interest also because she wants him to have a father figure to help him grow up because she made a bad decision on the sperm donor. not everyone gets lucky with the person they are pregnant by and also she is only 15. what is she supposed to do stay single forever so she isn't "ungrateful"
good one!
Posted by: lillian_v
Posted on: 2004-05-19 08:45:13

you're 15. *rolls eyes* At the rate she is going she will have 3 kids by 20.
Yeah
Posted by: lillian_v
Posted on: 2004-05-19 08:45:01

They all seem like they do but I doubt it. The thing is if everyone says how its worth it why don't I run out and get pregnant then I could have trips to the Cayman Islands, loads of attention and heaps of other stuff this spoiled moron is getting. Seriously, if mother hood is worth it I should do it too.
WHY DOES IT MATTER
Posted by: ourtia
Posted on: 2004-02-06 01:48:28

I am curious as to why it should matter where the money comes from? I live in Canada and we also have a welfare system in which my tax dollars go. I would rather support a young girl who is going to school and trying to make something of herself than to support a baby machine who sits at home doing nothing. I am also a parent who had a child pregnant and unable to support herself fully, therefore, we as her parents stepped up to the plate. OUR CHOICE, NOT HER REQUEST. I hate to see young girls pregnant, but it happens, and if they decide to keep the baby then those around them need to realize that this baby needs a chance at a good future and that may mean helping the Mom out in any way they can. Yes, maybe that is "making it too easy", but this isn't just about the Mom, it's about baby to. I will do anything to ensure that my grandchild has a bright future and if that means "making it easy" then so be it.
ALL THE BEST TO MY FELLOW DR. PHIL WATCHERS, ISN'T HE GREAT!!
I agree..
Posted by: jaismommy
Posted on: 2004-02-06 19:42:51

Vero,
I was thinking the exact same thing. I think that on the cameras Alex makes it seem like she is doing most of the work, but I to believe that Erin probably has the baby alot of the time. Probably after she gets home from school Alex passes Nathan off to Erin. And I know that Alex parents probably pay for everything. Because from what I have seen on the show, she doesn't have a job.
I just wonder how Alex is going to deal with everything when she is 18 and needing to move out. Or when she meets a new guy, and the same thing happens.
I believe that young girls can be good moms, I just hope Alex decides to make Nathan her life... And not move on to something else. Brittnie
Open Adoption is Great
Posted by: wcrews75
Posted on: 2004-02-04 15:35:27

Open adoption is the thing to do, I had a child when I was 21 and gave it up for adoption. I never thought of keeping the child, there was now way of providing for the child the way he needed to be taken care of. If you ever have to make the decision think what is best for the child. I have a child now who is 9mo old and cannot imagine doing it without my husband.
My Adoption Gift
Posted by: hope2adopt
Posted on: 2004-02-05 01:38:13

After 8 years on the infertility roller coaster my husband and I were blessed with a beautiful baby girl this past April. A wonderful and courageous 21-year-old chose to place her newborn daughter with us. Because of this special person we have the family we have always dreamed of.

Our daughters life mother is going to be the first person in her family to have a college education, she is in the National Honor Society, does volunteer work and is extremely grateful to be able to give herself the life she has always dreamed of.
Although she has admitted that at times it is hard for her, she knows that she made the best decision for the baby. She is thrilled to hear about our daughters milestones and enjoys seeing and playing with her a couple of times of year,we also send pictures throughout the year.

Our life mother truly feels that she is enjoying the best of both worlds by being able to watch her daughter grow up without the stress and responsibility of parenthood while she is pursing her own dreams of getting an education and creating a life for herself.

Our daughter’s life mother is a cherished member of our family. Every time I look at the beautiful baby that we share I thank God that she and her boyfriend chose to become apart of our family. I can’t begin to tell you how much we love, admire and respect this wonderful woman who chose to give her daughter the best of both worlds when she chose open adoption as her loving option.
StarsProudMom2003@yahoo.com

Posted by: vitality84
Posted on: 2004-02-05 02:27:45

That's an incredible story, I thank you for shaing it. I would like to adopt a child later in life as well.

Posted by: teenmom_x2
Posted on: 2004-02-08 17:23:15

That is a great story. I am happy to hear how wonderful it has worked out for you, the baby, and the birth mother. I made a different choice than her. I decided to keep my baby that I got pregnant with at 15 and will still be the first in my family to graduate from college- with a 4.0 GPA. I was not a memeber of the National Honors Society, but I did graduate from high school a year early as the Salutatorian of the class. Life is about choices and each of us has to make the choice that we feel is right for us. There may be some young girls out there who would not be able to accomplish their goals if the had a baby to take care of, but personally speaking, if I did not get pregnant at a young age and keep my daughter, I would not be where I am today. Having an innocent life to take care of made me grow up really fast and become responsible. If it weren't for her I know I would have dropped out of high school and I would have been dead, addicted to drugs, or in jail by now.

Posted by: vitality84
Posted on: 2004-02-10 21:17:52

If it weren't for her you would have been dead or addicted to drugs? Maybe we should encourage more teens to give birth to children at 15, so they can avoid a life of early death, drugs, and jail. Since there are so few teens who cannot take care of what God has trusted them with, we should encourage them to do what you did! Oh wait, look at these statistics:

the authors also found that the likelihood of being killed was greatest for infants whose mothers were less than 15 years old, had less than 12 years of school, or did not have prenatal care. One half of the infants killed were dead by the fourth month of life.

In fact, children whose mothers were older than 17 but had not completed 12 years of school had 8 times the risk of death as did infants born to mothers who had 16 years of education.

Yes, only 'some,' teens shouldn't be raising children. Even though the infants of teen mothers are 8 times more likely to die, that is just a statistic, not what you 'see' out there.
small steps
Posted by: mjbcoffee
Posted on: 2004-04-17 07:07:19

My cousin is 15 and was pregnant she has had her baby now but without her parents she wouldnt know what to do. She can still go out with her friends and go to a public school.

She finds it hard but she takes small steps to caring for her child. I wish you the best of luck and hope u make it through.

Posted by: jewel29647
Posted on: 2004-02-01 00:07:12

alex you can do it every single mom in the usa can they have no help at all you need to do it your self your mom and will not always be ther for you iam single with a 4 year old at brith she wt 4lb 2oz 17in i made it and all mom that have kid,s do so get over it jewel2964735@yahoo.com