06/24 A Family Divided, Part 4
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Posted by: mary194062
Posted on: 2003-10-09 07:44:10
Dear Dr. Phil, I again say this family is so lucky to have you to help them. When my daughter had her child, we raised her and him up togeather. She kept him, the father never had anything to do with his son. When my daughter married her husband adopted her son. I think it's good that the family are able to work through this with your help. It seems they have two problems since the parents are having marriage problems. I look forward to watching today and see what happens. God Bless You Dr. Phil for all the help you give.
Posted by: mary194062
Posted on: 2003-10-09 07:44:10
Dear Dr. Phil, I again say this family is so lucky to have you to help them. When my daughter had her child, we raised her and him up togeather. She kept him, the father never had anything to do with his son. When my daughter married her husband adopted her son. I think it's good that the family are able to work through this with your help. It seems they have two problems since the parents are having marriage problems. I look forward to watching today and see what happens. God Bless You Dr. Phil for all the help you give.
lucky family
Posted by: attylla61
Posted on: 2003-10-09 15:26:38
dr phil'this family --is LUCKY to have your help.I speak as the voice of the worst things that can happen in a teen pregnancy...
I got pregnant when I was 16-25 years ago.Back then,with my family there was no choice involved,I got married o the father.He was not responsible enough to even hold a job,so we ended up living in a badly maintained home,and our son was killed in a heating accident at 10 months old.All these years later,I see this young girl-with all this responsibility loaded on her-and it just makes me sad.Shes still a child herself,and these parents need to be reminded that really bad things can happen in the world out there...they should hold on to each other-for dear life
Posted by: attylla61
Posted on: 2003-10-09 15:26:38
dr phil'this family --is LUCKY to have your help.I speak as the voice of the worst things that can happen in a teen pregnancy...
I got pregnant when I was 16-25 years ago.Back then,with my family there was no choice involved,I got married o the father.He was not responsible enough to even hold a job,so we ended up living in a badly maintained home,and our son was killed in a heating accident at 10 months old.All these years later,I see this young girl-with all this responsibility loaded on her-and it just makes me sad.Shes still a child herself,and these parents need to be reminded that really bad things can happen in the world out there...they should hold on to each other-for dear life
luckyfamily
Posted by: friskyfort
Posted on: 2003-10-09 15:50:37
I also had a child 26 years ago when I was 15.My parents were not supportive at all. T he thought of giving up my child was devastating. your emotional bond to a child that is growing inside you is amazing.I kept my child and have never regrets.with the help from family and friends it is possible to keep your child and have a productive life for both.I eventually married my sons father and had two more children and although we are now divorced keeping my child 26 years ago is a decision I have never regretted,so it is possible with the right resources
Posted by: friskyfort
Posted on: 2003-10-09 15:50:37
I also had a child 26 years ago when I was 15.My parents were not supportive at all. T he thought of giving up my child was devastating. your emotional bond to a child that is growing inside you is amazing.I kept my child and have never regrets.with the help from family and friends it is possible to keep your child and have a productive life for both.I eventually married my sons father and had two more children and although we are now divorced keeping my child 26 years ago is a decision I have never regretted,so it is possible with the right resources
It's hard but KEEP the baby! ejohnson
Posted by: egjohnson
Posted on: 2003-10-09 16:11:25
I was a grandmother at age 34, my 15 yr old daughter. My marriage was in trouble but we all wanted to do the best for the baby and thought keeping the baby was the best. Seventeen yrs later, she has blossomed into a beautiful teenager. It wasn't easy. The dad was no where around. I divorced my husband when my grandaughter was one yr old, rec'd no child support from neither my ex or the baby's dad. Did I say he got the house. (Small town & good ole-boy system.) I now had 3 kids to take care of. I made $8.00 an hour. I worked 2 jobs to make ends meet. Both my daughter & granddaughter lived w/me for 10 yrs. She finally married a WONDERFUL man who adopted Stephanie. I have NEVER regretted for one moment of the decision. I now have two granddaughters. I think her parents should hold her accountable, but most certainly should help her.
Posted by: egjohnson
Posted on: 2003-10-09 16:11:25
I was a grandmother at age 34, my 15 yr old daughter. My marriage was in trouble but we all wanted to do the best for the baby and thought keeping the baby was the best. Seventeen yrs later, she has blossomed into a beautiful teenager. It wasn't easy. The dad was no where around. I divorced my husband when my grandaughter was one yr old, rec'd no child support from neither my ex or the baby's dad. Did I say he got the house. (Small town & good ole-boy system.) I now had 3 kids to take care of. I made $8.00 an hour. I worked 2 jobs to make ends meet. Both my daughter & granddaughter lived w/me for 10 yrs. She finally married a WONDERFUL man who adopted Stephanie. I have NEVER regretted for one moment of the decision. I now have two granddaughters. I think her parents should hold her accountable, but most certainly should help her.
Keep the baby
Posted by: kerrina87
Posted on: 2003-10-09 17:17:24
Many may disregaurd my opinion because they feel I have just as little experiance with this as Alaxandra does, being that I am also a teenage girl. I feel that it would be incredably hard to give up a child, especially after having had the child grow and develop inside of you for nine months. Adoption may seem like a quick fix to get your adolecence back, but ultimatly it will be a decision that you will question and possibly regret the rest of your life, never knowing if what you did was truly the best choice. I think it will be very hard to keep the baby as well, however it may be very influential in bringing this family back together. Best of luck to the entire family and I am confident that you will be able to get through this, as evident already by your changes within the first four weeks.
Posted by: kerrina87
Posted on: 2003-10-09 17:17:24
Many may disregaurd my opinion because they feel I have just as little experiance with this as Alaxandra does, being that I am also a teenage girl. I feel that it would be incredably hard to give up a child, especially after having had the child grow and develop inside of you for nine months. Adoption may seem like a quick fix to get your adolecence back, but ultimatly it will be a decision that you will question and possibly regret the rest of your life, never knowing if what you did was truly the best choice. I think it will be very hard to keep the baby as well, however it may be very influential in bringing this family back together. Best of luck to the entire family and I am confident that you will be able to get through this, as evident already by your changes within the first four weeks.
Alexandra and Kerrina87
Posted by: siamesetn
Posted on: 2003-10-09 18:08:25
I think you both have to consider seriously where you are now and what goals you have for your life. Presently, you're both extremely young to have a child...at least young in years. Women a whole lot older than you have had children but were no more fit to have them than you. You girls have got to have some goals. In five years think of where you will be. Whether you keep your baby or not, you will be somewhere--either with goals or drifting. So, make the wisest choice as possible and stick with it; this is a life long decision. In five years you may very well be in the position of being a wonderful mother. As to your parents, I think that it's going to be tough whatever decision you make. If you decide to go the adoption route, then be prepared for a lot of regrets, just from a personal standpoint. If you keep baby, be prepared for serious responsibilities and sacrifices. What decision do you foresee as being the best decision to help you grow up into mature, loving, gracious young women? You don't want to repeat this scenerio, ladies. If you feel that you would, then go the adoption route. Don't pass along those particular values to your child. God bless you both, and those precious children.
Posted by: siamesetn
Posted on: 2003-10-09 18:08:25
I think you both have to consider seriously where you are now and what goals you have for your life. Presently, you're both extremely young to have a child...at least young in years. Women a whole lot older than you have had children but were no more fit to have them than you. You girls have got to have some goals. In five years think of where you will be. Whether you keep your baby or not, you will be somewhere--either with goals or drifting. So, make the wisest choice as possible and stick with it; this is a life long decision. In five years you may very well be in the position of being a wonderful mother. As to your parents, I think that it's going to be tough whatever decision you make. If you decide to go the adoption route, then be prepared for a lot of regrets, just from a personal standpoint. If you keep baby, be prepared for serious responsibilities and sacrifices. What decision do you foresee as being the best decision to help you grow up into mature, loving, gracious young women? You don't want to repeat this scenerio, ladies. If you feel that you would, then go the adoption route. Don't pass along those particular values to your child. God bless you both, and those precious children.
petetom.....
Posted by: michaela19
Posted on: 2003-10-16 01:45:48
I know that you think that these people are young in their age in terms of having a child....but so was i. i had my son when i was 18 and wouldn't change a thing. i look at myself like you say in 5 years and i could tell you where i will be. i will have a smart son who will be in kindergarten. i hopefully will have my degree in education. nothing is impossible...yes paths may be altered but if you are in it to make a life for yourself and son then you will do WHATEVER it takes. and if that means not going out with your friends on saturdays and having them come over and play with you and your son then that's what it takes. i just think that you are looking at it the wrong way...there is nothing to do with age because she could be 40 and have no job and no support...it's all about willingness and drive....and if these girls have that then go for whatever your heart tells you to
Posted by: michaela19
Posted on: 2003-10-16 01:45:48
I know that you think that these people are young in their age in terms of having a child....but so was i. i had my son when i was 18 and wouldn't change a thing. i look at myself like you say in 5 years and i could tell you where i will be. i will have a smart son who will be in kindergarten. i hopefully will have my degree in education. nothing is impossible...yes paths may be altered but if you are in it to make a life for yourself and son then you will do WHATEVER it takes. and if that means not going out with your friends on saturdays and having them come over and play with you and your son then that's what it takes. i just think that you are looking at it the wrong way...there is nothing to do with age because she could be 40 and have no job and no support...it's all about willingness and drive....and if these girls have that then go for whatever your heart tells you to
Ohhhh Michaela!!
Posted by: siamesetn
Posted on: 2003-10-16 23:12:58
Hey Michaela,
I'm not sure what you "heard" when you read my posted note, but I wish that you would go back and re-read it. These were my words..."Presently, you're both extremely young to have a child...at least young in years. Women a whole lot older than you have had children but were no more fit to have them than you."
First of all, I did acknowledge that even older women might not be in the position to have/raise a child. Secondly, you'll have to admit that being young and unwed, both, is quite a challenge. Being older (as I was when I married and had children) can be a real challenge, too. :o)
Trust me, I'm not making any judgment as to your capabilities nor that of other two girls to whom I was speaking/referring to in the note. I think that's neat when you said that in five years you can envision a smart Kindergartener...which means that you've put investment into your child.
For a young person to make goals and stick with it, that's super...and, yes, it's very possible for you to get your degree. Actually, I think you have enough spunk and devotion to carry through with it. Whatever you put in life, you'll live up to the effort. I think that you're giving your child a gift in being so faithful to him and doing "WHATEVER IT TAKES."
Please note that I did not encourage or discourage these two girls either way...I suggested that they see themselves in the future. If they're not willing to consider some goals, what else might they ignore??
Las
Posted by: siamesetn
Posted on: 2003-10-16 23:12:58
Hey Michaela,
I'm not sure what you "heard" when you read my posted note, but I wish that you would go back and re-read it. These were my words..."Presently, you're both extremely young to have a child...at least young in years. Women a whole lot older than you have had children but were no more fit to have them than you."
First of all, I did acknowledge that even older women might not be in the position to have/raise a child. Secondly, you'll have to admit that being young and unwed, both, is quite a challenge. Being older (as I was when I married and had children) can be a real challenge, too. :o)
Trust me, I'm not making any judgment as to your capabilities nor that of other two girls to whom I was speaking/referring to in the note. I think that's neat when you said that in five years you can envision a smart Kindergartener...which means that you've put investment into your child.
For a young person to make goals and stick with it, that's super...and, yes, it's very possible for you to get your degree. Actually, I think you have enough spunk and devotion to carry through with it. Whatever you put in life, you'll live up to the effort. I think that you're giving your child a gift in being so faithful to him and doing "WHATEVER IT TAKES."
Please note that I did not encourage or discourage these two girls either way...I suggested that they see themselves in the future. If they're not willing to consider some goals, what else might they ignore??
Las
What about Them
Posted by: kahallie
Posted on: 2003-10-17 11:19:20
But Alex is no where close to being mature enough to have a baby. She has no idea what she is in for. I had my first daughter at 17 and my fourth by 24. LIFE SUCKS!! The part about the teenage mother having no money--TOTALLY TRUE. She is lucky in the fact that she has truly caring parents who will take up every bit of the slack that she leaves. I didn't have that. You know I guess she will never really see how hard it is to have children. The mean spirit in me is telling her parents to just back off and make her do it all, trying to figure out how to pay for daycare while you are at school, daycare while you are at work to pay for daycare while you are at school, diapers, formula, toys, clothes, shoes.... Their needs never end. Your needs are always the last to consider. My mean spirit says that was the way I had to do it, but my kind spirit says that she has the support system to do it better with hers. I did marry my children's father shortly before my oldest was born, but that was no more than having another child. I just don't think Alex is ready to take that responsibility. She is already talking about Saturday nights out. What is going to happen when she starts dating again. Is going to parade guys in and out of that child's life, have them be there long enough to get attached and then, oops, the breakup, and the childs heart is broken too. You absolutely cannot go anywhere in this world with out higher education. I am 26 years old, working part-time, g
Posted by: kahallie
Posted on: 2003-10-17 11:19:20
But Alex is no where close to being mature enough to have a baby. She has no idea what she is in for. I had my first daughter at 17 and my fourth by 24. LIFE SUCKS!! The part about the teenage mother having no money--TOTALLY TRUE. She is lucky in the fact that she has truly caring parents who will take up every bit of the slack that she leaves. I didn't have that. You know I guess she will never really see how hard it is to have children. The mean spirit in me is telling her parents to just back off and make her do it all, trying to figure out how to pay for daycare while you are at school, daycare while you are at work to pay for daycare while you are at school, diapers, formula, toys, clothes, shoes.... Their needs never end. Your needs are always the last to consider. My mean spirit says that was the way I had to do it, but my kind spirit says that she has the support system to do it better with hers. I did marry my children's father shortly before my oldest was born, but that was no more than having another child. I just don't think Alex is ready to take that responsibility. She is already talking about Saturday nights out. What is going to happen when she starts dating again. Is going to parade guys in and out of that child's life, have them be there long enough to get attached and then, oops, the breakup, and the childs heart is broken too. You absolutely cannot go anywhere in this world with out higher education. I am 26 years old, working part-time, g
AMEN!
Posted by: vcw1929
Posted on: 2003-10-17 12:28:16
Alex is nothing but a child herself and has no idea whatsoever what having a baby to take care of means. Her parents are certainly in no position to have this thrust upon them in the fragile state of marriage they are in. Keeping the baby for Saturday night's out doesn't even begin to plan who is going to keep the baby while she is in school, etc. Please, please Dr. Phil encourage this family to find a loving, caring family who would give anything for a chance to raise this precious life!
Posted by: vcw1929
Posted on: 2003-10-17 12:28:16
Alex is nothing but a child herself and has no idea whatsoever what having a baby to take care of means. Her parents are certainly in no position to have this thrust upon them in the fragile state of marriage they are in. Keeping the baby for Saturday night's out doesn't even begin to plan who is going to keep the baby while she is in school, etc. Please, please Dr. Phil encourage this family to find a loving, caring family who would give anything for a chance to raise this precious life!
YOUR WRONG
Posted by: mommy2dtmm
Posted on: 2004-06-24 10:42:33
I WAS 16 WHEN I HAD MY SON, HE IS NOW ONLY 3 MONTHS OLD AND I TAKE CARE OF HIM DAY IN AND DAY OUT AND HE IS THE MOST HEALTHIEST BABY I KNOW JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE IS YOUNG DOES NOT MEAN THEY ARE ANY LESS FIT THAN A "34" YEAR OLD WOMAN HAVEING A CHILD.
Posted by: mommy2dtmm
Posted on: 2004-06-24 10:42:33
I WAS 16 WHEN I HAD MY SON, HE IS NOW ONLY 3 MONTHS OLD AND I TAKE CARE OF HIM DAY IN AND DAY OUT AND HE IS THE MOST HEALTHIEST BABY I KNOW JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE IS YOUNG DOES NOT MEAN THEY ARE ANY LESS FIT THAN A "34" YEAR OLD WOMAN HAVEING A CHILD.
RE: Your Wrong
Posted by: simplifi
Posted on: 2004-06-24 13:18:37
No one is talking about the health of a child. Everyone is Talking about the RESPONSIBILITY of a child. You seem kind of bitter about the day in and day out part of this message. It stands to reason that a more mature and financially stable adult would have an easier time of it. Many more years of life's lessons to take with them along the way. You need a job and insurance, daycare and a multitude of other things you won't expect. The Grandparents end up taking over for the teen. That is sad part of the whole thing. Most Grandparents wouldn't complain, but someone has to root for them. They have already raised their kids...
Posted by: simplifi
Posted on: 2004-06-24 13:18:37
No one is talking about the health of a child. Everyone is Talking about the RESPONSIBILITY of a child. You seem kind of bitter about the day in and day out part of this message. It stands to reason that a more mature and financially stable adult would have an easier time of it. Many more years of life's lessons to take with them along the way. You need a job and insurance, daycare and a multitude of other things you won't expect. The Grandparents end up taking over for the teen. That is sad part of the whole thing. Most Grandparents wouldn't complain, but someone has to root for them. They have already raised their kids...
That is not what Alex is asking for
Posted by: ahsams
Posted on: 2004-06-24 22:59:24
Alex is not asking the parents to rais her child. She is just asking for what any normal parent would do, give her some help. I can't see where this is even a choice. God gave this child to Alex and the family should not be questioning it, they should just be thankful. Thank goodness her Dad has some say so in this.
Posted by: ahsams
Posted on: 2004-06-24 22:59:24
Alex is not asking the parents to rais her child. She is just asking for what any normal parent would do, give her some help. I can't see where this is even a choice. God gave this child to Alex and the family should not be questioning it, they should just be thankful. Thank goodness her Dad has some say so in this.
i think your wrong
Posted by: tiff_04
Posted on: 2004-06-26 23:00:46
I am 18 and my son is 2 and i just graduated high school and am enrolled in college and yes responsibility is a big issue you have to be responsible but i am more responsible than a lot of adults twice my age i dont think age has anything to do with it i think willpower, love, support, and faith are the important things, i do see where you comming from with the money issue but if you have the qualities i just talked about you will find a way to do whatever is best for your child whether you are rich or poor, my baby is the best thing ever and i think i do great job with him and i dont think someone ten years older than me could do any better...
Posted by: tiff_04
Posted on: 2004-06-26 23:00:46
I am 18 and my son is 2 and i just graduated high school and am enrolled in college and yes responsibility is a big issue you have to be responsible but i am more responsible than a lot of adults twice my age i dont think age has anything to do with it i think willpower, love, support, and faith are the important things, i do see where you comming from with the money issue but if you have the qualities i just talked about you will find a way to do whatever is best for your child whether you are rich or poor, my baby is the best thing ever and i think i do great job with him and i dont think someone ten years older than me could do any better...
No, YOUR wrong
Posted by: mommastar
Posted on: 2004-06-27 12:05:57
"It stands to reason that a more mature and financially stable adult would have an easier time of it."
You could have all the money in the WORLD and be more mature than any person you know and that does not make a parent. It does not make it any eaiser. And, no. Grandparents dont always take over for the teen. Some do, but not all.
Although, it stands to reason, that a grandparent loves their grandchild and loves to be a part of thier life. Just because a grandparent may watch thier teens child at nights while that teen works does not mean they are taking over. I can understand if the grandparent bought the childs food and clothes and was the primary caregiver then, yes, they have taken over. Im sick of reading all these post where age is an issue in parenting. You could be 15 or 45. The age doesnt matter when raising a child.
It depends of if you are emotionally and mentally ready.
Maturity and Money help..Yes. But that doesnt make a parent.
Posted by: mommastar
Posted on: 2004-06-27 12:05:57
"It stands to reason that a more mature and financially stable adult would have an easier time of it."
You could have all the money in the WORLD and be more mature than any person you know and that does not make a parent. It does not make it any eaiser. And, no. Grandparents dont always take over for the teen. Some do, but not all.
Although, it stands to reason, that a grandparent loves their grandchild and loves to be a part of thier life. Just because a grandparent may watch thier teens child at nights while that teen works does not mean they are taking over. I can understand if the grandparent bought the childs food and clothes and was the primary caregiver then, yes, they have taken over. Im sick of reading all these post where age is an issue in parenting. You could be 15 or 45. The age doesnt matter when raising a child.
It depends of if you are emotionally and mentally ready.
Maturity and Money help..Yes. But that doesnt make a parent.
Amen is right!!
Posted by: heidigroel
Posted on: 2004-06-24 17:14:53
My sister had a baby at age 15 and she so was not ready for it....even though she said she thought all of her options thru...now, she does not reget keeping the baby but she is ANGRY at my dad for not paying for daycare or dr. visits or diapers about 2 packages a week at $17 each or formula....and when she had me watch the little guy she doesn't believe she should have to pay me because i am family and i should be supporting her....she keeps telling me that she knows what she did was wrong (getting pregnant) but can you believe this...the baby turned 1 year old on June 21st and she got pregnant AGAIN in March....and guess what she did...ABORTION..
She is a child and no matter how mature she thinks or says she is she will NEVER convince me that she is mature...Everytime i talk to her she rarely has the child with her..he is usually with a friend or acquantance....PLEASE DR. PHIL...THIS GIRL IS A CHILD HAVING A CHILD....YOU ALREADY KNOW BY HER HOMEWORK OF TURNING THE BABY OFF THAT YES SHE WILL LOVE HER BABY THERE IS NO DOUBTING THAT BUT SHE WILL GET TIRED OF IT WAY WAY TO SOON ...HELP HER MAKE THE RIGHT DECISION!!!!
Posted by: heidigroel
Posted on: 2004-06-24 17:14:53
My sister had a baby at age 15 and she so was not ready for it....even though she said she thought all of her options thru...now, she does not reget keeping the baby but she is ANGRY at my dad for not paying for daycare or dr. visits or diapers about 2 packages a week at $17 each or formula....and when she had me watch the little guy she doesn't believe she should have to pay me because i am family and i should be supporting her....she keeps telling me that she knows what she did was wrong (getting pregnant) but can you believe this...the baby turned 1 year old on June 21st and she got pregnant AGAIN in March....and guess what she did...ABORTION..
She is a child and no matter how mature she thinks or says she is she will NEVER convince me that she is mature...Everytime i talk to her she rarely has the child with her..he is usually with a friend or acquantance....PLEASE DR. PHIL...THIS GIRL IS A CHILD HAVING A CHILD....YOU ALREADY KNOW BY HER HOMEWORK OF TURNING THE BABY OFF THAT YES SHE WILL LOVE HER BABY THERE IS NO DOUBTING THAT BUT SHE WILL GET TIRED OF IT WAY WAY TO SOON ...HELP HER MAKE THE RIGHT DECISION!!!!
Everyone is different...
Posted by: ahsams
Posted on: 2004-06-24 23:01:47
You can't judge Alex on the screw ups your sister has made in life. Everyone is different. I completely disagree with the abortion. She should grow up and stop having sex, but Abortion should not be an option. She committed murder, and she will live with that the rest of her life.
Posted by: ahsams
Posted on: 2004-06-24 23:01:47
You can't judge Alex on the screw ups your sister has made in life. Everyone is different. I completely disagree with the abortion. She should grow up and stop having sex, but Abortion should not be an option. She committed murder, and she will live with that the rest of her life.
So quit???????
Posted by: shanbarnes
Posted on: 2004-06-25 08:13:47
You know that is the quick fix that so many people go for. It seems to me you also need to grow up, regardless of your age. That is so stereo-typical, just because she is young doesn't mean she can't raise this baby. I had my first at 16, and I did it. You know if the parents relationship is in jeopardy deal with it. They made the choice to get married and have a family, now their daughter is at a hard time in her life and they need to support her. If they would have spent more time teaching these girls, rather than worrying about their clubs, or personal problems then maybe this girl wouldn't be in this situation in the first place. I am so fed up with americans worrying about getting their hair done and going to the gym or tanning than worrying about the well being of their children. You know this girl will probably regret the rest of her life if she gives this baby up, but you seem to be a statistic as well, do what is easiest at that moment, theach her to run from her problems instead of taking responsibilty for her actions. I am not sure of statistics but I do know that a lot of girls that give babies up for adoption run right out and get pregnant again to compensate for the lose of that child, so then what is your solution give another helpless baby up???
Posted by: shanbarnes
Posted on: 2004-06-25 08:13:47
You know that is the quick fix that so many people go for. It seems to me you also need to grow up, regardless of your age. That is so stereo-typical, just because she is young doesn't mean she can't raise this baby. I had my first at 16, and I did it. You know if the parents relationship is in jeopardy deal with it. They made the choice to get married and have a family, now their daughter is at a hard time in her life and they need to support her. If they would have spent more time teaching these girls, rather than worrying about their clubs, or personal problems then maybe this girl wouldn't be in this situation in the first place. I am so fed up with americans worrying about getting their hair done and going to the gym or tanning than worrying about the well being of their children. You know this girl will probably regret the rest of her life if she gives this baby up, but you seem to be a statistic as well, do what is easiest at that moment, theach her to run from her problems instead of taking responsibilty for her actions. I am not sure of statistics but I do know that a lot of girls that give babies up for adoption run right out and get pregnant again to compensate for the lose of that child, so then what is your solution give another helpless baby up???
A healing spirit
Posted by: siamesetn
Posted on: 2003-10-19 16:11:37
Bless your heart. I'm sure it's hard and Alexandra and others need to see the harsher side anothers day to day experience.
Dr. Phil is trying to get her, and hopefully others, to consider all possibilities that involve the baby. I think Alexandra's parents have the resources to help her for a few years, yet if she doesn't grow up fast, it will be a continual burden on her family. Of course, children are a blessing, but they take a lot of work and a lot of investment.
You are so young, yet, and I know you love your children...do all you can to provide an environment of peace and compassion for them--something money cannot buy. Take a class here and there and go for it one course at a time. If you're going TOWARDS something then you know what you're aiming for. If you aim for nothing, you'll hit it everytime. There are people out there who will help you--just ask!! There are some pretty neat churches out there whose ministry is to help people with your kinds of needs. Get yourself in a loving Church Family and surround yourself with a support system, and people who will help meet your needs.
God bless you.
Posted by: siamesetn
Posted on: 2003-10-19 16:11:37
Bless your heart. I'm sure it's hard and Alexandra and others need to see the harsher side anothers day to day experience.
Dr. Phil is trying to get her, and hopefully others, to consider all possibilities that involve the baby. I think Alexandra's parents have the resources to help her for a few years, yet if she doesn't grow up fast, it will be a continual burden on her family. Of course, children are a blessing, but they take a lot of work and a lot of investment.
You are so young, yet, and I know you love your children...do all you can to provide an environment of peace and compassion for them--something money cannot buy. Take a class here and there and go for it one course at a time. If you're going TOWARDS something then you know what you're aiming for. If you aim for nothing, you'll hit it everytime. There are people out there who will help you--just ask!! There are some pretty neat churches out there whose ministry is to help people with your kinds of needs. Get yourself in a loving Church Family and surround yourself with a support system, and people who will help meet your needs.
God bless you.
Read your post on Dr.Phil
Posted by: alicejim
Posted on: 2003-10-19 19:00:16
Hi...just wanted to say I read your post...lovely message; please read my website: www.churchabusepoetrytherapy.com....it is a faith-based web-site for anyone hurt by a church; I was in an abusive marriage for 31 years, and voted out of membership (an 18 month nightmare) because I got a divorce; then let my ex live in the house; my story of what happened and my poetry is on the site...It is my hope and prayer, that my poetry will reach people who have been hurt....Please sign my guestbook (sometimes it comes up blank), and if so: e-mail me at: wacalice@aol.com....I would love to hear your thoughts.....God Bless you! Hugs, Alice (overcomer)
Posted by: alicejim
Posted on: 2003-10-19 19:00:16
Hi...just wanted to say I read your post...lovely message; please read my website: www.churchabusepoetrytherapy.com....it is a faith-based web-site for anyone hurt by a church; I was in an abusive marriage for 31 years, and voted out of membership (an 18 month nightmare) because I got a divorce; then let my ex live in the house; my story of what happened and my poetry is on the site...It is my hope and prayer, that my poetry will reach people who have been hurt....Please sign my guestbook (sometimes it comes up blank), and if so: e-mail me at: wacalice@aol.com....I would love to hear your thoughts.....God Bless you! Hugs, Alice (overcomer)
