06/15 An Intervention - Part 2
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Posted by: plowboy52
Posted on: 2003-11-06 09:02:23
wow! i can't believe the denial.jail might scare him enough?but they better put him on a suicide watch! he needs help and i mean yrs ago. iwish he and the family the best.
Posted by: plowboy52
Posted on: 2003-11-06 09:02:23
wow! i can't believe the denial.jail might scare him enough?but they better put him on a suicide watch! he needs help and i mean yrs ago. iwish he and the family the best.
Confidentiality
Posted by: babsboz
Posted on: 2003-11-06 11:56:07
I missed the first ten minutes of yesterday's show and do not understand how this young man was convinced to appear on television or take part in this process. I agree with just about everything Dr. Phil has had to say so far (I have a 21 year-old son with a drug addiction) but I'm not sure about the wisdom or the legality of his drug problems being aired publicly.
Anyone who has a loved one suffering from substance abuse should try Al-Anon. There are numerous groups---if one group's "vibe" doesn't seem to work for you, try another---you will find support.
Posted by: babsboz
Posted on: 2003-11-06 11:56:07
I missed the first ten minutes of yesterday's show and do not understand how this young man was convinced to appear on television or take part in this process. I agree with just about everything Dr. Phil has had to say so far (I have a 21 year-old son with a drug addiction) but I'm not sure about the wisdom or the legality of his drug problems being aired publicly.
Anyone who has a loved one suffering from substance abuse should try Al-Anon. There are numerous groups---if one group's "vibe" doesn't seem to work for you, try another---you will find support.
support groups
Posted by: renee30035
Posted on: 2003-11-06 12:16:14
It is by any means necessary that you help an individual that is addicted. I am in the counseling field and understand the effectiveness of support groups however, I think in this case they needed a drastic measure.Also, there is no privacy when trying to help a loved one with a drug problem. Fear of embarrassment should be the last thought in anyone's mind. At that point it's too late. Thank God they had Dr. Phil. Not everybody is so fortunate. Good luck with your son.
Posted by: renee30035
Posted on: 2003-11-06 12:16:14
It is by any means necessary that you help an individual that is addicted. I am in the counseling field and understand the effectiveness of support groups however, I think in this case they needed a drastic measure.Also, there is no privacy when trying to help a loved one with a drug problem. Fear of embarrassment should be the last thought in anyone's mind. At that point it's too late. Thank God they had Dr. Phil. Not everybody is so fortunate. Good luck with your son.
I agree with you!
Posted by: hoperfloat
Posted on: 2003-11-06 18:05:34
I love Dr.Phil!He definitley know what he is talking about.This 21 year old kid sure was lucky to get the help that is being provided for him with the help of Dr.Phil.I love it that Dr.Phil is so straight forward.I feel so sorry for his parents.I have three children & that would be my worst nightmare.Alls I am can say to the parents is to stay strong.This has got to be hurting this whole family so badly!
Posted by: hoperfloat
Posted on: 2003-11-06 18:05:34
I love Dr.Phil!He definitley know what he is talking about.This 21 year old kid sure was lucky to get the help that is being provided for him with the help of Dr.Phil.I love it that Dr.Phil is so straight forward.I feel so sorry for his parents.I have three children & that would be my worst nightmare.Alls I am can say to the parents is to stay strong.This has got to be hurting this whole family so badly!
I DISAGREE
Posted by: teenopn
Posted on: 2003-11-07 01:06:44
I am coming from a young point of view and I think that there are many other civil and less public ways for his family to have done this. He was doing drugs for a reason and that reason was probably a family issue. It should have stayed a family issue in private. I definetly think Dr. Phil is great, but the family obviously has the money to intervine in a different way. I understand it is hurting the family but he is 21 and that qualifies him as an adult, maybe not a responsible one, but he is. I beleive he did not want help, but since he loves and respects his family enough he did it for them and that is great. I do hope he gets better and lives to have a family of his own.
Posted by: teenopn
Posted on: 2003-11-07 01:06:44
I am coming from a young point of view and I think that there are many other civil and less public ways for his family to have done this. He was doing drugs for a reason and that reason was probably a family issue. It should have stayed a family issue in private. I definetly think Dr. Phil is great, but the family obviously has the money to intervine in a different way. I understand it is hurting the family but he is 21 and that qualifies him as an adult, maybe not a responsible one, but he is. I beleive he did not want help, but since he loves and respects his family enough he did it for them and that is great. I do hope he gets better and lives to have a family of his own.
RE: I Disagree
Posted by: nivlekbrad
Posted on: 2003-11-07 05:29:26
I definitly understand where u are coming from. Something went wrong in his upbringing. Whether it was a bout with depression or some other tramatic experience in his life, he was doing drugs for a reason. Sure, Brandon chose to use the drugs, but his parents must take some type of responsibility for this.
When I was 21, I was a little like Brandon. Though I didn't use drugs, I did drink pretty heavily and ate quite a bit. A lot of my problems stemmed from my father and him not being there for me emotionally. I eventually found a "father-figure" in a cousin's husband. He did a lot of the things for me that my father didn't express to me. Anyway, enough about me.
My prayers are with Brandon and his family. I pray that he overcomes this demon. This family needs to turn Brandon over in the hands of God and things will work out in the end.
Posted by: nivlekbrad
Posted on: 2003-11-07 05:29:26
I definitly understand where u are coming from. Something went wrong in his upbringing. Whether it was a bout with depression or some other tramatic experience in his life, he was doing drugs for a reason. Sure, Brandon chose to use the drugs, but his parents must take some type of responsibility for this.
When I was 21, I was a little like Brandon. Though I didn't use drugs, I did drink pretty heavily and ate quite a bit. A lot of my problems stemmed from my father and him not being there for me emotionally. I eventually found a "father-figure" in a cousin's husband. He did a lot of the things for me that my father didn't express to me. Anyway, enough about me.
My prayers are with Brandon and his family. I pray that he overcomes this demon. This family needs to turn Brandon over in the hands of God and things will work out in the end.
I disagree
Posted by: elle41
Posted on: 2003-11-07 11:06:37
Most of the time this has nothing to do with upbringing. Sometimes it's the way you are wired, you hang with the wrong crowd, etc. The other two children were raised in the same household and other than Brandons problems they seem fine!!
Posted by: elle41
Posted on: 2003-11-07 11:06:37
Most of the time this has nothing to do with upbringing. Sometimes it's the way you are wired, you hang with the wrong crowd, etc. The other two children were raised in the same household and other than Brandons problems they seem fine!!
I disagree
Posted by: lynherring
Posted on: 2003-11-07 11:30:48
elle41! Thanks for the message that you sent. I have a son who was just like Brandon when He was 16. He was arrested couple of times, drinking doing drugs, the whole thing. The night I caught Him buying drugs thru our basement window I offered Him a treatment program or be kicked out. He left and I never saw or heard from Him in 3 years. My heart was broken, but I had another son in the house and had to protect Him from this awful thing. My other son never did a drug or drank in his life and still dosen't to this day. It is NOT always something to do with upbringing, not always! Sometimes like in the case of my son, who admots this to me today, they just get caught up with the wrong crowd!
Posted by: lynherring
Posted on: 2003-11-07 11:30:48
elle41! Thanks for the message that you sent. I have a son who was just like Brandon when He was 16. He was arrested couple of times, drinking doing drugs, the whole thing. The night I caught Him buying drugs thru our basement window I offered Him a treatment program or be kicked out. He left and I never saw or heard from Him in 3 years. My heart was broken, but I had another son in the house and had to protect Him from this awful thing. My other son never did a drug or drank in his life and still dosen't to this day. It is NOT always something to do with upbringing, not always! Sometimes like in the case of my son, who admots this to me today, they just get caught up with the wrong crowd!
You sound just like me!
Posted by: yorkie2mom
Posted on: 2003-11-19 13:26:22
lynherring- I agree with you. I have raised my 2 daughters alone since age 1 and 2 and one of them ended up in the wrong crowd and is an addict and the other one has a 3.98 gpa and is an athlete and a senior in high school who has never used drugs or drank. Her sister taunted her clear through high school saying "you are such a freak" "you need to party and have fun" She ridiculed her for going out with friends and playing card games and teased her constantly about being a snob or prep. Now the daughter who stayed focused is headed to a 4 year college with scholarships and the other sister is wasting her life smoking weed and doing nothing!! how sad.
Posted by: yorkie2mom
Posted on: 2003-11-19 13:26:22
lynherring- I agree with you. I have raised my 2 daughters alone since age 1 and 2 and one of them ended up in the wrong crowd and is an addict and the other one has a 3.98 gpa and is an athlete and a senior in high school who has never used drugs or drank. Her sister taunted her clear through high school saying "you are such a freak" "you need to party and have fun" She ridiculed her for going out with friends and playing card games and teased her constantly about being a snob or prep. Now the daughter who stayed focused is headed to a 4 year college with scholarships and the other sister is wasting her life smoking weed and doing nothing!! how sad.
The wrong crowd???
Posted by: mggpie
Posted on: 2004-06-15 17:39:20
I think that sometimes the WRONG CROWD it the person themselves. They hang with those that help support the kind of person they are choosing to be. How does one stop keeping company with themselves? This may not apply to all cases, but I know that it applies to many.
Posted by: mggpie
Posted on: 2004-06-15 17:39:20
I think that sometimes the WRONG CROWD it the person themselves. They hang with those that help support the kind of person they are choosing to be. How does one stop keeping company with themselves? This may not apply to all cases, but I know that it applies to many.
life
Posted by: againstme
Posted on: 2003-11-19 20:33:59
it may not be the family's direct fault but no one uses drugs that hard bc they simply run with the wrong crowd. dr phil was wrong when he said that it wasnt brandon, it was the drugs. this is untrue. people use drugs to escape reality. brandon felt so bad about something, his life in general maybe, that he needed to escape. his parents arent facing up to this. in the videos he says "what am i gonna do with my life, mom?" and hes really distressed. his mom says "get a job! get a job!" is this the right response? is she listeneing? i deifinatley do not think so. like me, and a lot of people my age, brandon is realizing that he doesnt want his parents life, that work is alienating, that school is training for work. it seems that this world has nothing to offer kids like us. and wiht his lack of familial support, he finds ways to escape. the drugs arent healthy for him, but its the root problem that has caused this one and its the one i feel needs to be addressed. Dr. Phil completley ignores this. everyone needs to SERIOUSLY start reconsidereing their values. brandon's family seems decently rich, what does this say about their values? how has the bond they should have had as a family suffered when dad and mom were out exploiting people in other countries, and supporting a corrupt democratic country, and unequal capitalist society?
Posted by: againstme
Posted on: 2003-11-19 20:33:59
it may not be the family's direct fault but no one uses drugs that hard bc they simply run with the wrong crowd. dr phil was wrong when he said that it wasnt brandon, it was the drugs. this is untrue. people use drugs to escape reality. brandon felt so bad about something, his life in general maybe, that he needed to escape. his parents arent facing up to this. in the videos he says "what am i gonna do with my life, mom?" and hes really distressed. his mom says "get a job! get a job!" is this the right response? is she listeneing? i deifinatley do not think so. like me, and a lot of people my age, brandon is realizing that he doesnt want his parents life, that work is alienating, that school is training for work. it seems that this world has nothing to offer kids like us. and wiht his lack of familial support, he finds ways to escape. the drugs arent healthy for him, but its the root problem that has caused this one and its the one i feel needs to be addressed. Dr. Phil completley ignores this. everyone needs to SERIOUSLY start reconsidereing their values. brandon's family seems decently rich, what does this say about their values? how has the bond they should have had as a family suffered when dad and mom were out exploiting people in other countries, and supporting a corrupt democratic country, and unequal capitalist society?
i disagree
Posted by: jamiedeat
Posted on: 2003-11-20 16:22:15
The reasons for drug and alcohol use arn't always the family. Peope can be born with the disease. (it is a disease) People with alcoholics in their family are very likley to be born with the disease also. These type of people can't stop on there own. First beer may be the problem then that dosen't passify there urge for the drug. Then weed my be next and after a while it isn't strong enough either. The cravings there body has for the drugs are so strong they don't know how to quit, to them its like being hungry and not eating. It is a powerful disease.
Posted by: jamiedeat
Posted on: 2003-11-20 16:22:15
The reasons for drug and alcohol use arn't always the family. Peope can be born with the disease. (it is a disease) People with alcoholics in their family are very likley to be born with the disease also. These type of people can't stop on there own. First beer may be the problem then that dosen't passify there urge for the drug. Then weed my be next and after a while it isn't strong enough either. The cravings there body has for the drugs are so strong they don't know how to quit, to them its like being hungry and not eating. It is a powerful disease.
say what?
Posted by: mcparbst73
Posted on: 2004-06-15 13:03:02
I am so sorry you feel the world has nothing to offer kids like you - BUT THERE IS THE PROBLEM! You think everything is supposed to be offered to you - unfortunately, it is the direct result of your parents making life so easy for you. I come from an extremely disfunctional family and was somewhat spoiled myself growing up - but we are responsible for our own actions and own future. You are right, the world is screwed up - it is extremely disheartening - but the only thing you can do is the best you can - whether it be only for you and your own family, or on a broader level to help improve the world. Drugs are now a part of our society, just like violence and pornography - the only way to protect yourself from it is to look to God and the church family. No matter how much it embarrasses this young man to be put on tv, his parents did the only thing they knew how - it is obvious they didn't know how to overcome the power of the drugs alone. DRUGS are the enemy, not imperfect parents. If that were true, we'd all be addicts.
Posted by: mcparbst73
Posted on: 2004-06-15 13:03:02
I am so sorry you feel the world has nothing to offer kids like you - BUT THERE IS THE PROBLEM! You think everything is supposed to be offered to you - unfortunately, it is the direct result of your parents making life so easy for you. I come from an extremely disfunctional family and was somewhat spoiled myself growing up - but we are responsible for our own actions and own future. You are right, the world is screwed up - it is extremely disheartening - but the only thing you can do is the best you can - whether it be only for you and your own family, or on a broader level to help improve the world. Drugs are now a part of our society, just like violence and pornography - the only way to protect yourself from it is to look to God and the church family. No matter how much it embarrasses this young man to be put on tv, his parents did the only thing they knew how - it is obvious they didn't know how to overcome the power of the drugs alone. DRUGS are the enemy, not imperfect parents. If that were true, we'd all be addicts.
Drug Treatment?
Posted by: dpferguson
Posted on: 2004-06-15 14:52:58
I have a 22 year old brother, currently in his 9th month of a 15th month sentence for possession of Cocaine. Weeks before his conviction, he confided in me (his sister and guardian since he was 15) that he needed help, wanted help. Even though I had worked with him and tried to get him help through our local drug abuse programs, he went back to using. He now says, with 6 months left that the only full-proof rehab that has worked for him has been being incarcerated. He's had plenty of time to think through his life and how he wasted several years after graduating from high-school doing drugs. We look forward to his return home in December and have enjoyed having our REAL brother back in our lives. The person with the attitude, the person with the chip on his shoulders, the person with the bad language and disrespect, that's not him - that's the drug.
Posted by: dpferguson
Posted on: 2004-06-15 14:52:58
I have a 22 year old brother, currently in his 9th month of a 15th month sentence for possession of Cocaine. Weeks before his conviction, he confided in me (his sister and guardian since he was 15) that he needed help, wanted help. Even though I had worked with him and tried to get him help through our local drug abuse programs, he went back to using. He now says, with 6 months left that the only full-proof rehab that has worked for him has been being incarcerated. He's had plenty of time to think through his life and how he wasted several years after graduating from high-school doing drugs. We look forward to his return home in December and have enjoyed having our REAL brother back in our lives. The person with the attitude, the person with the chip on his shoulders, the person with the bad language and disrespect, that's not him - that's the drug.
Well said!
Posted by: bnthrdndat
Posted on: 2004-06-15 15:51:50
Very well said. I want to wish your family the best of luck. Your brother may become discouraged at times with a "record" trailing him, but his good actions in the future and pride for himself and his great accomplishment will erase any doubts that anyone (employers, etc.) could have. Good luck and God bless.
Posted by: bnthrdndat
Posted on: 2004-06-15 15:51:50
Very well said. I want to wish your family the best of luck. Your brother may become discouraged at times with a "record" trailing him, but his good actions in the future and pride for himself and his great accomplishment will erase any doubts that anyone (employers, etc.) could have. Good luck and God bless.
So What?
Posted by: faithful45
Posted on: 2004-06-15 19:56:01
Who cares what the cause of the problem is? The fact is, the problem exists. Now what are you going to do about it?
Posted by: faithful45
Posted on: 2004-06-15 19:56:01
Who cares what the cause of the problem is? The fact is, the problem exists. Now what are you going to do about it?
Sure they do
Posted by: katelini
Posted on: 2004-06-15 19:56:45
People use hard drugs all the time for the sole purpose of "its what their friends are doing" If all your friends are out getting loaded, are you going to sit there and say, no thanks? Of course not. People do what makes them comfortable around the largest accepting group. If the biggest influence is peoiple who do drugs, its almost impossible to stay away.
iM not denying that people have no poersonal problems, but these problems get used for an excuse to personally justify thier behavior. Life isnt as crappy as you think it is when you feel like it should be crappy.
And why does everything have to go back to capitalism? Yes, capitalism exists. And we'd all be capitalists if we had the chance, regardless of personal belief.
Posted by: katelini
Posted on: 2004-06-15 19:56:45
People use hard drugs all the time for the sole purpose of "its what their friends are doing" If all your friends are out getting loaded, are you going to sit there and say, no thanks? Of course not. People do what makes them comfortable around the largest accepting group. If the biggest influence is peoiple who do drugs, its almost impossible to stay away.
iM not denying that people have no poersonal problems, but these problems get used for an excuse to personally justify thier behavior. Life isnt as crappy as you think it is when you feel like it should be crappy.
And why does everything have to go back to capitalism? Yes, capitalism exists. And we'd all be capitalists if we had the chance, regardless of personal belief.
Sure They Do
Posted by: curmudgeon
Posted on: 2004-06-17 19:36:09
The pharmaceutical companies innundate us with TV ads for many ailments. This pill will fix this, mood-alter that. No wonder we accept this culture of medication for everything, self-medication a logical extension? Don't you get a feeling this "enables" chemical solutions to everything as a norm? How much do the drug companies make with the illicit trade of their prescription products? Must be a huge dividend. I can see kids doing "OC" a sytnthetic opiate because it's clinically safe, known quality, quantity but a step into the void of addiction. We must be honest with the experimenters and ourselves.
A detox nurse explained these pills are sold by the pharmaceutical companies to some mideastern countries which then black-market them back to our youth. How about that as a "Weapon of Mass Destruction"? Using our own products against us.
Posted by: curmudgeon
Posted on: 2004-06-17 19:36:09
The pharmaceutical companies innundate us with TV ads for many ailments. This pill will fix this, mood-alter that. No wonder we accept this culture of medication for everything, self-medication a logical extension? Don't you get a feeling this "enables" chemical solutions to everything as a norm? How much do the drug companies make with the illicit trade of their prescription products? Must be a huge dividend. I can see kids doing "OC" a sytnthetic opiate because it's clinically safe, known quality, quantity but a step into the void of addiction. We must be honest with the experimenters and ourselves.
A detox nurse explained these pills are sold by the pharmaceutical companies to some mideastern countries which then black-market them back to our youth. How about that as a "Weapon of Mass Destruction"? Using our own products against us.
I disagree
Posted by: sadheart22
Posted on: 2003-11-07 15:26:08
I agree with elle41. I am the mother of a 34 year old hard core heroin addict,and my heart goes out to Brandons parents. I have tried so many ways to help my son, and nothing seems to work. I dont think at this time that Brandon wants help. I raised two children to the best of my ability, one has turned out wonderful and is a great person, a loving Mom to her 4 children, my son on the other hand made some very bad choices in his late teens, Both of my children were raised the same way............. My son is now 34, lives on the streets, has abandoned his beautiful children and lost everything. He has Hep C, scirrosis of the liver, kidney failure, amongst other things. He has overdosed 3 times and twice has clinically died. He has been in may rehab and detox places, usually when he has nowhere to go. I truly believe that for an addict to get clean and healthy, they must want to do it for themselves. Nobody else can do it for them. I know this from experience. My family has been destroyed thru drugs, and I can never have my children and grandchildren all together for a family dinner or holiday. I am praying for Brandon and his parents.
Posted by: sadheart22
Posted on: 2003-11-07 15:26:08
I agree with elle41. I am the mother of a 34 year old hard core heroin addict,and my heart goes out to Brandons parents. I have tried so many ways to help my son, and nothing seems to work. I dont think at this time that Brandon wants help. I raised two children to the best of my ability, one has turned out wonderful and is a great person, a loving Mom to her 4 children, my son on the other hand made some very bad choices in his late teens, Both of my children were raised the same way............. My son is now 34, lives on the streets, has abandoned his beautiful children and lost everything. He has Hep C, scirrosis of the liver, kidney failure, amongst other things. He has overdosed 3 times and twice has clinically died. He has been in may rehab and detox places, usually when he has nowhere to go. I truly believe that for an addict to get clean and healthy, they must want to do it for themselves. Nobody else can do it for them. I know this from experience. My family has been destroyed thru drugs, and I can never have my children and grandchildren all together for a family dinner or holiday. I am praying for Brandon and his parents.
I agree with you sadheart
Posted by: mlr072578
Posted on: 2003-11-07 16:57:03
I also believe it is not ALWAYS the parents fault. My husband and I were addicted to meth and cocaine for about 5 years. We also drank heavily, and smoked marijuana and did any other kind of drug that came available to us (lsd, prescription pills, mushrooms, extasy, etc...) We were lucky enough to come out of it on our own with no help whatsoever from any of our family. We had 2 children together, and we got to the point where we KNEW we were losers. There was a point where we were living in a relatives trailer that they used for vacations, we had no car, we had to file bankruptcy...We turned our lives COMPLETELY around, with the help of the Lord. He showed us a new life and things couldnt be better. My uhsband now works for the state and I work at an accounting firm. So, I do not always believe it's the parents. I think in our case it was hanging in the wrong crowd, which can SO EASILY happen!!!! Now on the other hand, I know of a woman who actually DOES drugs with her children (ages 14 thru 19!) Its amazing what they all get away with even after NUMEROUS run-ins with the police and family services!!! This is in the SPRINGFIELD MISSOURI area, so if you're someone who can or KNOWS of someone who can do anything about this, PLEASE get in touch with me at michelle@lslg.net. This woman needs to put in jail.
ANYWAYS, I pray for Brandon and his family. Unfortunatly, if he doesnt WANT to quit, he will do it again. Hopefully he will stay in rehab and sober up atleas
Posted by: mlr072578
Posted on: 2003-11-07 16:57:03
I also believe it is not ALWAYS the parents fault. My husband and I were addicted to meth and cocaine for about 5 years. We also drank heavily, and smoked marijuana and did any other kind of drug that came available to us (lsd, prescription pills, mushrooms, extasy, etc...) We were lucky enough to come out of it on our own with no help whatsoever from any of our family. We had 2 children together, and we got to the point where we KNEW we were losers. There was a point where we were living in a relatives trailer that they used for vacations, we had no car, we had to file bankruptcy...We turned our lives COMPLETELY around, with the help of the Lord. He showed us a new life and things couldnt be better. My uhsband now works for the state and I work at an accounting firm. So, I do not always believe it's the parents. I think in our case it was hanging in the wrong crowd, which can SO EASILY happen!!!! Now on the other hand, I know of a woman who actually DOES drugs with her children (ages 14 thru 19!) Its amazing what they all get away with even after NUMEROUS run-ins with the police and family services!!! This is in the SPRINGFIELD MISSOURI area, so if you're someone who can or KNOWS of someone who can do anything about this, PLEASE get in touch with me at michelle@lslg.net. This woman needs to put in jail.
ANYWAYS, I pray for Brandon and his family. Unfortunatly, if he doesnt WANT to quit, he will do it again. Hopefully he will stay in rehab and sober up atleas
