03/24 Big Bad Bullies
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Posted by: lex3075
Posted on: 2004-03-24 10:23:07
I feel really bad for those kids getting beat-up for no reason. For those kids doing the bullying, it starts at home. I am all for teaching kids to protect themselves but you also have to teach them decision-making skills. It all goes together. Maybe Dwana's mom needs to be held somewhat responsible for Dwana's actions. No child deserves that kind of beating - especially by another child. I'm not buying "she touched me" as a good enough reason for those actions. Mom needs a backbone and let her daughter know who had who.
Posted by: lex3075
Posted on: 2004-03-24 10:23:07
I feel really bad for those kids getting beat-up for no reason. For those kids doing the bullying, it starts at home. I am all for teaching kids to protect themselves but you also have to teach them decision-making skills. It all goes together. Maybe Dwana's mom needs to be held somewhat responsible for Dwana's actions. No child deserves that kind of beating - especially by another child. I'm not buying "she touched me" as a good enough reason for those actions. Mom needs a backbone and let her daughter know who had who.
i'm disgusted
Posted by: daffy61
Posted on: 2004-03-24 10:49:58
I think the girl who kicked another child because she "put her hands on me" bothered me the most. This child belongs in jail, she is offering nothing to society, or her family. Bullies are cowards. You must be able to give respect to receive it. I dont understand her mother, who seems to think her daughters behavior is acceptable. I feel sorry for this child who has no chance in life
Posted by: daffy61
Posted on: 2004-03-24 10:49:58
I think the girl who kicked another child because she "put her hands on me" bothered me the most. This child belongs in jail, she is offering nothing to society, or her family. Bullies are cowards. You must be able to give respect to receive it. I dont understand her mother, who seems to think her daughters behavior is acceptable. I feel sorry for this child who has no chance in life
I agree
Posted by: nannapearl
Posted on: 2004-03-24 15:53:57
I agree that child has no chance in life.
I too think she needs to be in jail, and we know that is where she will end up.
Was it just me, or did she seem to have no empathy at all? Her mother did not seem too concerned with that behavior.
As for the homophobia, please. Why would that even make a difference, make it alright to beat that other girl like that.
Posted by: nannapearl
Posted on: 2004-03-24 15:53:57
I agree that child has no chance in life.
I too think she needs to be in jail, and we know that is where she will end up.
Was it just me, or did she seem to have no empathy at all? Her mother did not seem too concerned with that behavior.
As for the homophobia, please. Why would that even make a difference, make it alright to beat that other girl like that.
I agree also
Posted by: cricket84
Posted on: 2004-03-24 16:21:28
You can see the handwriting on the wall with this girl. She's not a "child", but a very, very angry young woman. She needs to be in jail now! If she's not locked up, she will end up maiming or killing someone. If she could be put in detention until she's 18-21 and given help, she MIGHT be able to be turned around. Although, from what I saw on today's show, I think it's already too late to help her. I do wonder about the other 2 children in her family...are they just as dangerous? I'm 48 yrs old, have raised/helped to raise 21 children...and this young person scared me...and I'm thousand of miles away from her......
Posted by: cricket84
Posted on: 2004-03-24 16:21:28
You can see the handwriting on the wall with this girl. She's not a "child", but a very, very angry young woman. She needs to be in jail now! If she's not locked up, she will end up maiming or killing someone. If she could be put in detention until she's 18-21 and given help, she MIGHT be able to be turned around. Although, from what I saw on today's show, I think it's already too late to help her. I do wonder about the other 2 children in her family...are they just as dangerous? I'm 48 yrs old, have raised/helped to raise 21 children...and this young person scared me...and I'm thousand of miles away from her......
Posted by: corschika
Posted on: 2004-03-24 18:11:53
What good is jail gonna do for a 15 year old child. If you would have said counseling I could agree with that but jail will probably make it worse. People are quick to judge but you have no idea what is going on or what happened in that childs life. If she touched her unappropriately she did right to defend herself, because it won't happen again (gauranteed).
Defense? I don't think so!
Posted by: rmastropa
Posted on: 2004-03-24 18:32:51
Corschika, defending yourself is one thing. Beating a kid over and over again is a sign of mental help. Her mother has failed her & because of her anger & lack of control, yes, she may end up in jail and rightly so. She may be having a tough time at home, etc. but if she had respect & high values, she would have stopped at the first punch! She may need counseling but her anger & pride will not allow her to seek help therefore she may end up in jail after all. It all begins at home........I don't feel sorry for her.
Posted by: rmastropa
Posted on: 2004-03-24 18:32:51
Corschika, defending yourself is one thing. Beating a kid over and over again is a sign of mental help. Her mother has failed her & because of her anger & lack of control, yes, she may end up in jail and rightly so. She may be having a tough time at home, etc. but if she had respect & high values, she would have stopped at the first punch! She may need counseling but her anger & pride will not allow her to seek help therefore she may end up in jail after all. It all begins at home........I don't feel sorry for her.
Bully response
Posted by: jacklyn17
Posted on: 2004-03-24 18:55:08
That girl Dwana was a complete BULLY! Jail may not do her any good but it would do her community some good to have her off the streets! I am disgusted with this child and her mother! Her mother certainly did not act like a parent! She should not give her child the option to refuse help! That child needs BOOTCAMP! She portrayed herself as an uneducated, uncaring, violent individual. I have NO sympathy for her and her mother needs a to be punished for allowing this to continue! There is NO excuse for this behavior. NONE!
Posted by: jacklyn17
Posted on: 2004-03-24 18:55:08
That girl Dwana was a complete BULLY! Jail may not do her any good but it would do her community some good to have her off the streets! I am disgusted with this child and her mother! Her mother certainly did not act like a parent! She should not give her child the option to refuse help! That child needs BOOTCAMP! She portrayed herself as an uneducated, uncaring, violent individual. I have NO sympathy for her and her mother needs a to be punished for allowing this to continue! There is NO excuse for this behavior. NONE!
Bullies, now what?
Posted by: ginger9211
Posted on: 2004-03-24 19:48:42
This program was quite telling. I am a 32+ year veteran of public education. I've heard and seen this kind of thing before and shook my head all those times too. I've been threatened by both students and their parents.
Dr. Phil has said that we must meet people where they are. I think he was trying really hard to do that. Realistically we can't put all of these angry young people in jail. Carl Rogers, the psychologist, said most people are doing the best they can at any given moment. Clearly, Dwanna needs to learn a lot about getting along with others and handling her anger. While jail may seem like an answer I fear that she'll meet someone even meaner than she appeared to be who is carrying a knife and will leavs her child without a mother. She was really defensive at first, but I believe at the end, both she and her mother know that if they don't get some kind of help there is no hope at all for them.
I feel terrible for the children who were beaten up. Our schools mostly pay "lip service" but the individual help needed seems to never quite be forthcoming. The teachers' and bus drivers' hands are tied if they get no backing from the administrators. And the administrators are terrified of words such as:lawyer,sue,litigation, and other legalistic terms that parents pull out when they don't want to see or own their child's part in these unfortunate incidents.
In our state not long ago a bully got off the school bus, followed his victim, slammed him in the back of the head hard enough that the boy was on life support for several days until his parents had to make the unbelievably hard decision to disconnect him and let him die. The other guy had had a history of bullying.
We need to catch it early, we need to be a place for our children to come for help. We need to be the adults mature enough to own it when it belongs at our house and we need clearly to educate not only children but parents. Our children are the most valuable things we have --- they are our future, they didn't ask to come here, and they deserve our help. Maya Angelou has said when we learn better we do better. If Dwanna and her mother are willing to get help which seemed the case at the end, they should have the chance.
Posted by: ginger9211
Posted on: 2004-03-24 19:48:42
This program was quite telling. I am a 32+ year veteran of public education. I've heard and seen this kind of thing before and shook my head all those times too. I've been threatened by both students and their parents.
Dr. Phil has said that we must meet people where they are. I think he was trying really hard to do that. Realistically we can't put all of these angry young people in jail. Carl Rogers, the psychologist, said most people are doing the best they can at any given moment. Clearly, Dwanna needs to learn a lot about getting along with others and handling her anger. While jail may seem like an answer I fear that she'll meet someone even meaner than she appeared to be who is carrying a knife and will leavs her child without a mother. She was really defensive at first, but I believe at the end, both she and her mother know that if they don't get some kind of help there is no hope at all for them.
I feel terrible for the children who were beaten up. Our schools mostly pay "lip service" but the individual help needed seems to never quite be forthcoming. The teachers' and bus drivers' hands are tied if they get no backing from the administrators. And the administrators are terrified of words such as:lawyer,sue,litigation, and other legalistic terms that parents pull out when they don't want to see or own their child's part in these unfortunate incidents.
In our state not long ago a bully got off the school bus, followed his victim, slammed him in the back of the head hard enough that the boy was on life support for several days until his parents had to make the unbelievably hard decision to disconnect him and let him die. The other guy had had a history of bullying.
We need to catch it early, we need to be a place for our children to come for help. We need to be the adults mature enough to own it when it belongs at our house and we need clearly to educate not only children but parents. Our children are the most valuable things we have --- they are our future, they didn't ask to come here, and they deserve our help. Maya Angelou has said when we learn better we do better. If Dwanna and her mother are willing to get help which seemed the case at the end, they should have the chance.
school systems often a joke
Posted by: loveebird
Posted on: 2004-03-24 23:07:10
my oldest daughter was assaulted 2 weeks before her highschool graduation on school property during school hours by a girl who was not even enrolled in the school system. there happened to be a conflict with a girl and a friend of my daughters on the vocational bus on the way to cosmetology school, the other girl had called her 30 year old aunt and a 19 year old cousin into the cosmetology class and began harrassing my daughter. It was not a conflict with her so she felt she was safe to return to the home school on the bus. when she arrived back to the home school and went to her car to come home she was approached by this 19 year old she did not know and was brutally assaulted. I was called by the principal and told my daughter was in a fight so i went right there. A police report was filled out at the school and we were told to go to the emergency room to get a medical report. we had not heard anything after that , I was still concerned with my daughters safety because the school failed to protect her from someone coming on to school property for the sole purpose of inflicting harm on her. The principal did not seem to take this seriously at all. they said there responsibility ended at calling the police. I feel an injustice was done to my daughter. Yes , raising your children starts at home, but when it comes to bullying I don't think these school officials take this seriously enough. what used to be name calling and humiliation has become brutal beatings and even death. When will this end and When will these schools take a tougher stand ?? Needless to say a week and a half later my daughter was back in the emergency room suffering from an air bubble in her chest cavity between her heart and lungs causing what fealt to her like a heart attack. the doctors said this is a common occurance if she was in her 60's or had been in a serious car accident. i truly believe it was caused by the beating she had taken. Some one needs to protect our children...... When i picked up my daughter the first thing she said was " Mom, i'm so sorry..... I did what you taught me, i let her hit me 3 times and then i defended myself " She was so concerned that she had let me down because the rule in our house is fighting is unacceptable... i wonder what the other girls mother felt, what are their rules and standards ???? Why could the school not make a better stand ????? It truly does take a community to raise a child and in all honesty I am becoming ashamed of t
Posted by: loveebird
Posted on: 2004-03-24 23:07:10
my oldest daughter was assaulted 2 weeks before her highschool graduation on school property during school hours by a girl who was not even enrolled in the school system. there happened to be a conflict with a girl and a friend of my daughters on the vocational bus on the way to cosmetology school, the other girl had called her 30 year old aunt and a 19 year old cousin into the cosmetology class and began harrassing my daughter. It was not a conflict with her so she felt she was safe to return to the home school on the bus. when she arrived back to the home school and went to her car to come home she was approached by this 19 year old she did not know and was brutally assaulted. I was called by the principal and told my daughter was in a fight so i went right there. A police report was filled out at the school and we were told to go to the emergency room to get a medical report. we had not heard anything after that , I was still concerned with my daughters safety because the school failed to protect her from someone coming on to school property for the sole purpose of inflicting harm on her. The principal did not seem to take this seriously at all. they said there responsibility ended at calling the police. I feel an injustice was done to my daughter. Yes , raising your children starts at home, but when it comes to bullying I don't think these school officials take this seriously enough. what used to be name calling and humiliation has become brutal beatings and even death. When will this end and When will these schools take a tougher stand ?? Needless to say a week and a half later my daughter was back in the emergency room suffering from an air bubble in her chest cavity between her heart and lungs causing what fealt to her like a heart attack. the doctors said this is a common occurance if she was in her 60's or had been in a serious car accident. i truly believe it was caused by the beating she had taken. Some one needs to protect our children...... When i picked up my daughter the first thing she said was " Mom, i'm so sorry..... I did what you taught me, i let her hit me 3 times and then i defended myself " She was so concerned that she had let me down because the rule in our house is fighting is unacceptable... i wonder what the other girls mother felt, what are their rules and standards ???? Why could the school not make a better stand ????? It truly does take a community to raise a child and in all honesty I am becoming ashamed of t
Posted by: inkorea
Posted on: 2004-03-25 00:53:03
Unfortunately, you are one of the few parents that is concerned. How many times did you go to the school while your daughter was in high school to check on how things were going? I don't mean a scheduled "parent-teacher conference" or for a function. I mean, take time out of your day to make sure that this behavior wasn't happening? Out of the 120 students on my team of 6th graders, 2 parents did during the whole school year. The one parent was a police officer. The other, a concerned grandmother with partial custody. The other parents missed their daughters acting like sluts to get a boy and missed their sons touching girls in inappropriate places. I am certainly not blaming you. The public needs to get involved with the public education system!!! Before there is a child in the ER with trauma to her lungs. It is sad. I just hope that you can help other parents get involved and intervene before it happens to their child. Please become an advocate for getting this problem under control!!!
Posted by: inkorea
Posted on: 2004-03-25 00:41:20
I totally agree with you!!! Teachers are not getting the help they need to get the problem under control. Many parents are in denial that this behavior is wrong! And, the principals cannot do much more than Inschool or out of school suspension. And, counseling if you are at a school lucky enough to have a counselor.
Right On!
Posted by: ktgrrl
Posted on: 2004-03-25 09:08:54
Putting a 15 YO girl like Dwanna in jail only makes these kids meaner and more vicious. Then they get out of jail worse than when they went in and WE the public suffer when they act out again. Throwing away these kids doesn't solve anything it only postpones the inevitable.
I was a bully when I was a kid and I’m certain it was because I came from a violent family. I knew I was mean and was deeply ashamed of my behavior but terrorizing another kid relieved my own pain. My family reinforced my negative behavior acting exactly like Dwanna’s mother; I was never held accountable. Also, physical strength was a source of pride in my family and hitting was as normal as passing the salt. Ultimately, I got bullied and I was certain that I was getting what I deserved for being so mean for all those years. Even at 6 I believed in karma. I never bullied anyone ever again and instead stood up for kids that couldn’t stand up for themselves. I learned a very hard lesson in empathy and that was the key to stopping my behavior.
I bet if someone held Dwanna, comforted her and listened to her pain and frustration gently she could be taught her respect and compassion. Also, if Dwanna lives in a tough neighborhood (which was mentioned) I’m sure she’s mostly likely being intimated by someone and learned to be cruel as a means of protecting herself – real or imagined. The key is to not just throw away these kids! Everyone can change and violent behavior should be an indication that something much larger is going on.
K
Posted by: ktgrrl
Posted on: 2004-03-25 09:08:54
Putting a 15 YO girl like Dwanna in jail only makes these kids meaner and more vicious. Then they get out of jail worse than when they went in and WE the public suffer when they act out again. Throwing away these kids doesn't solve anything it only postpones the inevitable.
I was a bully when I was a kid and I’m certain it was because I came from a violent family. I knew I was mean and was deeply ashamed of my behavior but terrorizing another kid relieved my own pain. My family reinforced my negative behavior acting exactly like Dwanna’s mother; I was never held accountable. Also, physical strength was a source of pride in my family and hitting was as normal as passing the salt. Ultimately, I got bullied and I was certain that I was getting what I deserved for being so mean for all those years. Even at 6 I believed in karma. I never bullied anyone ever again and instead stood up for kids that couldn’t stand up for themselves. I learned a very hard lesson in empathy and that was the key to stopping my behavior.
I bet if someone held Dwanna, comforted her and listened to her pain and frustration gently she could be taught her respect and compassion. Also, if Dwanna lives in a tough neighborhood (which was mentioned) I’m sure she’s mostly likely being intimated by someone and learned to be cruel as a means of protecting herself – real or imagined. The key is to not just throw away these kids! Everyone can change and violent behavior should be an indication that something much larger is going on.
K
ktgrrl I agree
Posted by: nweezie
Posted on: 2004-03-25 14:17:44
I could feel for this young woman Dwanna, ...you could see she was afraid, hurting, and defiant. I doubt she has ever been introduced to skills that would have helped her solve the problem differently. She must not go to jail, ... I felt as ktgrrl said she need to be wrapped in love , ... someones arms around her to take away the fear. The after shots at the end of the show showed a different girl, one who wants and would benefit from help. If only she could also have a different environment. I hope there is a follow up to this show, ... I would like to see success in her future, ... she is a strong minded girl and there is hope for her. The girl that she beat is a different story, ... she lied through her teeth, ... the school knows this and that is why she was expelled I am sure.
Posted by: nweezie
Posted on: 2004-03-25 14:17:44
I could feel for this young woman Dwanna, ...you could see she was afraid, hurting, and defiant. I doubt she has ever been introduced to skills that would have helped her solve the problem differently. She must not go to jail, ... I felt as ktgrrl said she need to be wrapped in love , ... someones arms around her to take away the fear. The after shots at the end of the show showed a different girl, one who wants and would benefit from help. If only she could also have a different environment. I hope there is a follow up to this show, ... I would like to see success in her future, ... she is a strong minded girl and there is hope for her. The girl that she beat is a different story, ... she lied through her teeth, ... the school knows this and that is why she was expelled I am sure.
Posted by: cedielane
Posted on: 2004-04-07 23:03:44
That makes a lot of sense. When I saw the show I thought for sure she should be put in jail but what you wrote makes a lot of sense. I too grew up in a bad household and if it wasn't for my mom being there to comfort me and talk to me I would have probebly been in a similar situation.
Did you notice.....
Posted by: kimg824
Posted on: 2004-03-25 09:22:38
Did you notice who was giving the orders? The kid. I think the mother was afraid of her too. She needs to go to jail and have her butt kicked and see how she likes it. I'm glad she doesn't live near me....
Posted by: kimg824
Posted on: 2004-03-25 09:22:38
Did you notice who was giving the orders? The kid. I think the mother was afraid of her too. She needs to go to jail and have her butt kicked and see how she likes it. I'm glad she doesn't live near me....
Bullies
Posted by: saltville
Posted on: 2004-03-24 19:21:52
This is the typical attitude they students are hearing at home that causes them to be so aggressive at school. There is no excuse for what she did, but you sound delighted. Shame on you. No feelings or empathy?
Posted by: saltville
Posted on: 2004-03-24 19:21:52
This is the typical attitude they students are hearing at home that causes them to be so aggressive at school. There is no excuse for what she did, but you sound delighted. Shame on you. No feelings or empathy?
r u kidding?
Posted by: cakewalk
Posted on: 2004-03-24 19:42:02
"if she touched her unappropriately she did right to defend herself, because it won't happen again (gauranteed)"
Dwana had NO RIGHT to beat up Lauren the way she did. We don't know what happened before, but as Dr Phil said, the actions of each girl did not match. Dwana cannot manage her anger, and has a very serious problem.
Her mother needs to step up to the plate and teach her better behavior. She is allowing her daughter to get away with these horrible acts of violence.
Neither the daughter nor the mother seemed to think anything was wrong with Dwana's actions. Only after Dr Phil, coached the mother did she seem to think there might be something wrong with her daughter's behavior. I haven't walked in their shoes either, but people like this is why our society has so many problems.
Dwana needs to be taken out of the mother's home and put into an eviroment that can teach her how to handle her emotions and deal with her enviroment better.
Posted by: cakewalk
Posted on: 2004-03-24 19:42:02
"if she touched her unappropriately she did right to defend herself, because it won't happen again (gauranteed)"
Dwana had NO RIGHT to beat up Lauren the way she did. We don't know what happened before, but as Dr Phil said, the actions of each girl did not match. Dwana cannot manage her anger, and has a very serious problem.
Her mother needs to step up to the plate and teach her better behavior. She is allowing her daughter to get away with these horrible acts of violence.
Neither the daughter nor the mother seemed to think anything was wrong with Dwana's actions. Only after Dr Phil, coached the mother did she seem to think there might be something wrong with her daughter's behavior. I haven't walked in their shoes either, but people like this is why our society has so many problems.
Dwana needs to be taken out of the mother's home and put into an eviroment that can teach her how to handle her emotions and deal with her enviroment better.
Posted by: 37seattle
Posted on: 2004-03-25 10:59:10
I don't know if Dwana needs to be taken out of the home and put into a already overburdened social services system. But she does need help and I'm glad Dr Phil is offering the mom the help she needs. Let's see if she'll do it. Dwana's attitude was all bravado because she doesn't know any other way to cover up her hurt and embarassment. She didn't make eye contact with Dr Phil and kept her head down.
I'm not an advocate for corporal punishment, but if I had the attitude with one of my elders that Dwana had towards Dr Phil my mother would have knocked me into next week! Then I would have been punished - no TV, or no going out w/friends, or no phone, etc.
Dwana needs a hug!
Posted by: maggie2448
Posted on: 2004-04-02 20:57:47
When I first watched the footage of the beating Dwana gave to the other girl, I couldn't imagine that a child could have so much anger that she could seemingly beat another human being without any realization of what she was doing. Dwana definitely showed that hard shell of armor that she puts on every morning. When I watched her all I could think of is the Dwana beneath that hard shell. When I finally saw her break down at the end of the show, my heart broke for her. I only hope she can find someone to give her the guidance she needs and to help her to get on the right road. Unfortunately her mother seems inept at parenting and I don't think she's going to be there for her daughter. I would love to give Dwana a hug because I don't think she's had many in her life.
Posted by: maggie2448
Posted on: 2004-04-02 20:57:47
When I first watched the footage of the beating Dwana gave to the other girl, I couldn't imagine that a child could have so much anger that she could seemingly beat another human being without any realization of what she was doing. Dwana definitely showed that hard shell of armor that she puts on every morning. When I watched her all I could think of is the Dwana beneath that hard shell. When I finally saw her break down at the end of the show, my heart broke for her. I only hope she can find someone to give her the guidance she needs and to help her to get on the right road. Unfortunately her mother seems inept at parenting and I don't think she's going to be there for her daughter. I would love to give Dwana a hug because I don't think she's had many in her life.
seriously?!
Posted by: leftygirl1
Posted on: 2004-03-24 20:24:10
"If she touched her unappropriately she did right to defend herself, because it won't happen again (gauranteed)."
Are you actually suggesting that Lauren could have possibly touched Dwana in any way that would have made this savage beating appropriate?
Regardless of how inappropriate the touch (if there even was a touch), Dwana's reaction was completely unacceptable.
Posted by: leftygirl1
Posted on: 2004-03-24 20:24:10
"If she touched her unappropriately she did right to defend herself, because it won't happen again (gauranteed)."
Are you actually suggesting that Lauren could have possibly touched Dwana in any way that would have made this savage beating appropriate?
Regardless of how inappropriate the touch (if there even was a touch), Dwana's reaction was completely unacceptable.
