04/04 Too Old or Too Young for Babies and Sex?
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Posted by: harrislw
Posted on: 2005-04-01 15:24:10
Anymore, I don't know if any of us are "mature enough" to have sex. There's hardly anyone at all left that realizes the seriousness of a sexual relationship, and the consequences of it. 13 is far too young to have sex. At that age, even at 18, you still aren't aware of who you are and what you really want in life. At 13 you CANNOT know what the struggles of becoming a parent can do to you. Grow up, finish your childhood. Become a young, beautiful individual before you give yourself to someone, and decide you want a child. It is not at all like playing house at the age of 6 and 7. It's ugly and rough if you are not prepared and emotionally ready for it.
Posted by: harrislw
Posted on: 2005-04-01 15:24:10
Anymore, I don't know if any of us are "mature enough" to have sex. There's hardly anyone at all left that realizes the seriousness of a sexual relationship, and the consequences of it. 13 is far too young to have sex. At that age, even at 18, you still aren't aware of who you are and what you really want in life. At 13 you CANNOT know what the struggles of becoming a parent can do to you. Grow up, finish your childhood. Become a young, beautiful individual before you give yourself to someone, and decide you want a child. It is not at all like playing house at the age of 6 and 7. It's ugly and rough if you are not prepared and emotionally ready for it.
Too young better than too old!
Posted by: kenzum
Posted on: 2005-04-02 11:19:29
I am a 25 years old. I have been married for five years but together for over ten. While I do not believe that a 13 year old is ready to be a parent, at least they will have their parents around to help. This woman who is 50 plus years old, is a shame. Who will be around to watch this kid grow up? By the time that this kid graduates high school, their mom will be in a nursing home! This lady is older than some of the grandmothers that I know!
Posted by: kenzum
Posted on: 2005-04-02 11:19:29
I am a 25 years old. I have been married for five years but together for over ten. While I do not believe that a 13 year old is ready to be a parent, at least they will have their parents around to help. This woman who is 50 plus years old, is a shame. Who will be around to watch this kid grow up? By the time that this kid graduates high school, their mom will be in a nursing home! This lady is older than some of the grandmothers that I know!
How Dare you!
Posted by: queentween
Posted on: 2005-04-02 16:36:00
How dare you criticize this woman who wants to be a mother again! Why should having "parents around to help" even be a consideration for having a child???? WHen you have children, you have the responsibility, not your parents, for heavens sake! I am certain that this woman has thought things over completely, and planned for the financial and emotional responsibilty of a child, while I am equally certain that the 13 year old has not. I waited until my late 30's to begin having children, the only difference between me and my younger counterparts is that I am able to stay home with my kids and not worry about money. I am able to spend time with them without feeling as though I have sacrificed my life for them, creating a ton of guilt. Face it, when you are 25, you want to be out buying makeup and high heels- when you're 40, you want to spend the day playing soccer with your kids. Who really is ready for motherhood?
I do not mean to criticize other young mothers- I'm just sticking up for us who are over 40!
Posted by: queentween
Posted on: 2005-04-02 16:36:00
How dare you criticize this woman who wants to be a mother again! Why should having "parents around to help" even be a consideration for having a child???? WHen you have children, you have the responsibility, not your parents, for heavens sake! I am certain that this woman has thought things over completely, and planned for the financial and emotional responsibilty of a child, while I am equally certain that the 13 year old has not. I waited until my late 30's to begin having children, the only difference between me and my younger counterparts is that I am able to stay home with my kids and not worry about money. I am able to spend time with them without feeling as though I have sacrificed my life for them, creating a ton of guilt. Face it, when you are 25, you want to be out buying makeup and high heels- when you're 40, you want to spend the day playing soccer with your kids. Who really is ready for motherhood?
I do not mean to criticize other young mothers- I'm just sticking up for us who are over 40!
hmmm
Posted by: harrislw
Posted on: 2005-04-02 20:04:55
Ok, I agree with you about having children and needing to take the responsibility yourself, not your parents. I also see your point in not being too old to have children. But, that's very stereotypical of you to say "when you're 25 you want to be out buying makeup and high heels." I know more 23 and 25 year olds that have way more maturity and family values than a lot of 40 and even older women. Age doesn't always have everything to do with it. It's about where you are emotionally in your life, and what you want at that point.
Posted by: harrislw
Posted on: 2005-04-02 20:04:55
Ok, I agree with you about having children and needing to take the responsibility yourself, not your parents. I also see your point in not being too old to have children. But, that's very stereotypical of you to say "when you're 25 you want to be out buying makeup and high heels." I know more 23 and 25 year olds that have way more maturity and family values than a lot of 40 and even older women. Age doesn't always have everything to do with it. It's about where you are emotionally in your life, and what you want at that point.
It's The Individual, Not Their Age That Matters
Posted by: irish91562
Posted on: 2005-04-06 15:18:43
First let me begin by stating that I do not believe that ANY teenager, whether they are thirTEEN or nineTEEN are fully prepared, physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, financially, etc., to become a parent.
That being said, it is not practical to paint the age groups after teens with such a broad brush. I wanted to be a young mother, and had my first at 21 and my second at 23. What I did not want to be at that time, however, was a WIFE, so I ended my marriage and was a single mother by choice.
I was lucky to have the support of my parents. This enabled me to finish undergraduate and graduate studies at night, while being Mommy by day. I wasn't like some of my girlfriends who wanted to buy the makeup and high heels and go "bar-hopping" through their 20's.
At 42, I am now a WIFE again, because I am ready to be. I've finally found a man for whom I have the utmost respect and love. Boy, does THAT make a difference ! My peers tell me I've "got it made" now that my kids are all grown up. I can now "live life while I'm "still" young". What I'd like to know is just what they think I've been doing all these years while having the TIME OF MY LIFE raising my kids ?
Maybe they'd be traveling the world or having a "full" social calendar, but you know what my husband and I are having ? Another baby. We both agree that nothing has brought us more joy and happiness than raising children, and are thrilled beyond words that God has blessed us with the opportunity to raise OUR child together.
These feminist-types out there are truly missing the point. It's not all about career, or "besting" men in the workforce. Paying someone the same salary for doing the same job regardless of gender is just common sense. What they fail to see is that there is truly no GREATER vocation a woman can aspire to, than that of MOTHER.
As unconventional as it is, I'm not going to harshly criticize the woman in her 50's who had children. It was clear that she gave great thought to all of the ramifications. She has her education complete, great earning potential as an attorney, a solid support system in place, etc.
Better to have 25 or so years with a WONDERFUL mother, than a lifetime with an unfit one.
Posted by: irish91562
Posted on: 2005-04-06 15:18:43
First let me begin by stating that I do not believe that ANY teenager, whether they are thirTEEN or nineTEEN are fully prepared, physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, financially, etc., to become a parent.
That being said, it is not practical to paint the age groups after teens with such a broad brush. I wanted to be a young mother, and had my first at 21 and my second at 23. What I did not want to be at that time, however, was a WIFE, so I ended my marriage and was a single mother by choice.
I was lucky to have the support of my parents. This enabled me to finish undergraduate and graduate studies at night, while being Mommy by day. I wasn't like some of my girlfriends who wanted to buy the makeup and high heels and go "bar-hopping" through their 20's.
At 42, I am now a WIFE again, because I am ready to be. I've finally found a man for whom I have the utmost respect and love. Boy, does THAT make a difference ! My peers tell me I've "got it made" now that my kids are all grown up. I can now "live life while I'm "still" young". What I'd like to know is just what they think I've been doing all these years while having the TIME OF MY LIFE raising my kids ?
Maybe they'd be traveling the world or having a "full" social calendar, but you know what my husband and I are having ? Another baby. We both agree that nothing has brought us more joy and happiness than raising children, and are thrilled beyond words that God has blessed us with the opportunity to raise OUR child together.
These feminist-types out there are truly missing the point. It's not all about career, or "besting" men in the workforce. Paying someone the same salary for doing the same job regardless of gender is just common sense. What they fail to see is that there is truly no GREATER vocation a woman can aspire to, than that of MOTHER.
As unconventional as it is, I'm not going to harshly criticize the woman in her 50's who had children. It was clear that she gave great thought to all of the ramifications. She has her education complete, great earning potential as an attorney, a solid support system in place, etc.
Better to have 25 or so years with a WONDERFUL mother, than a lifetime with an unfit one.
i agree
Posted by: emina78
Posted on: 2005-04-06 16:19:48
I do agree with you. i have to say that i got married when i was 20 and 1/2 i had first child at age 21 and second at 23. I have great housband who helps me a lot. i do not work and i am always with my children. Since i was unhappy about being only one in my family with out degree and stayed at home mom because i could not stand being with out any social life i enrolled back to school . it is much harder to go to school at evning and be mother during the day and again for the rest of the nite when i am back from school. Also it is not very easy to be full time student, full time mom, full time wife, sister, friend and many other things. you just simply have no time. SO from my experience i do enjoy my life but it is very hard. Right now i am almost 27 yrs old and senior at local university, but it is very hard. So my advice is that teenagers are not aware of what child means by any means, babies are very hard to deal with , esspeciall when they cries for the whole nite and you have no idea what is wrong, and again it is very hard to see your child sick, and not beeing able to help him/her. Also as i said that i agree i do strongly believe that teenagers are not strong enough meaning (emotionaly and physiclly). Your life is changed the moment you delivered that baby. Also i can not imagine that somebody can have baby and simply put someone else in trouble raising kids...(parents/grandparents) I think once you are financialy emotionaly phisiclly and pscycologicaly ready than it it is right time for that person to have kids. So by this i mean that age are not exactelly determined but we all know that to have all of these parts mastered you need to have quite experience in life. One more thing if you feel better to be a mom at age 55 and you didnt have kids before it can be emotionally hard but once you mastered and get into routine it is not going to be problem anymore. However for thoose who choose to have kids when they are 15 or even 18 they are the one who will struggle for the rest of their lifes. it is so sad to see how many youngsters are engaged in sex and sex activities, that i am not so sure if they are listening at all. But once they are in this hole they are saying i wish i listened but i am sorry it is late then... Some of them are putting babies for an adoption, but that is extremely emotionaly hard too.
I dont know what to say any more but younger or older generations have to think little bit more before getting into the parenthood.
Posted by: emina78
Posted on: 2005-04-06 16:19:48
I do agree with you. i have to say that i got married when i was 20 and 1/2 i had first child at age 21 and second at 23. I have great housband who helps me a lot. i do not work and i am always with my children. Since i was unhappy about being only one in my family with out degree and stayed at home mom because i could not stand being with out any social life i enrolled back to school . it is much harder to go to school at evning and be mother during the day and again for the rest of the nite when i am back from school. Also it is not very easy to be full time student, full time mom, full time wife, sister, friend and many other things. you just simply have no time. SO from my experience i do enjoy my life but it is very hard. Right now i am almost 27 yrs old and senior at local university, but it is very hard. So my advice is that teenagers are not aware of what child means by any means, babies are very hard to deal with , esspeciall when they cries for the whole nite and you have no idea what is wrong, and again it is very hard to see your child sick, and not beeing able to help him/her. Also as i said that i agree i do strongly believe that teenagers are not strong enough meaning (emotionaly and physiclly). Your life is changed the moment you delivered that baby. Also i can not imagine that somebody can have baby and simply put someone else in trouble raising kids...(parents/grandparents) I think once you are financialy emotionaly phisiclly and pscycologicaly ready than it it is right time for that person to have kids. So by this i mean that age are not exactelly determined but we all know that to have all of these parts mastered you need to have quite experience in life. One more thing if you feel better to be a mom at age 55 and you didnt have kids before it can be emotionally hard but once you mastered and get into routine it is not going to be problem anymore. However for thoose who choose to have kids when they are 15 or even 18 they are the one who will struggle for the rest of their lifes. it is so sad to see how many youngsters are engaged in sex and sex activities, that i am not so sure if they are listening at all. But once they are in this hole they are saying i wish i listened but i am sorry it is late then... Some of them are putting babies for an adoption, but that is extremely emotionaly hard too.
I dont know what to say any more but younger or older generations have to think little bit more before getting into the parenthood.
Posted by: skyjsd
Posted on: 2005-04-03 00:28:05
Alright I agree that a woman should be able to have a baby when she is older. I have an issue with what you said about younger women having babies. You said face it at 25 you care about make-up and heels, when you're 40 you want to play soccer with the kids. I got married when I was 19 and we had our first baby when I was 21. I could care less what make up I wear and I rarely wear heels. My point is, some young women don't give up the supeficial things and going out when they become mothers but a lot do. I have a few friends who had their kids in their early 20s and they are wonderful parents.
I am only 24 and now we have 2 yr old twins also, I love not working and being able to stay home with them.
I understand you weren't talking about all young mothers but I get tired of hearing you can't be a great mom until you are financially well off and have a ton of life experience. My babies have taught me more about growing up and being mature than 20 more years of life experience could have.
on both ends....
Posted by: jjslilwife
Posted on: 2005-04-04 16:42:51
I lost my first child at 18, had my next at 19 and 20. Being a mommy was awesome at this age because we didn't care about the material things. I've learned since that once they hit their preteen and teen years there is a LOT more stress on the marraige, your nerves, and physically. Parenting is an ongoing process and after raising and dealing w/4 stepchildren from ages 9-33, older children bring issues that only an older wiser parent can really deal with. I couldn't do it. I didn't have the skills at 30 to deal w/them, but my husband, at 49, is very wise, patient, and firm in handling their concerns.
I'm remarried for 8 yrs and looking to have another child at 35. I must say, I'm happier at this end. I can focus on my children's developement and happiness instead of worrying over groceries and rent payments.
Posted by: jjslilwife
Posted on: 2005-04-04 16:42:51
I lost my first child at 18, had my next at 19 and 20. Being a mommy was awesome at this age because we didn't care about the material things. I've learned since that once they hit their preteen and teen years there is a LOT more stress on the marraige, your nerves, and physically. Parenting is an ongoing process and after raising and dealing w/4 stepchildren from ages 9-33, older children bring issues that only an older wiser parent can really deal with. I couldn't do it. I didn't have the skills at 30 to deal w/them, but my husband, at 49, is very wise, patient, and firm in handling their concerns.
I'm remarried for 8 yrs and looking to have another child at 35. I must say, I'm happier at this end. I can focus on my children's developement and happiness instead of worrying over groceries and rent payments.
hooray!!!
Posted by: hespeler
Posted on: 2005-04-05 11:24:31
I agree. I am not condoning young marraige by any stretch of the imagination, but I was married at 17, not necessarily a great idea, I had my first child at 21 and my last of 4 at 29. I loved being a parent, I stayed home because that is what I felt I needed to do. I feel that if you are ready to have children you should also be ready to give up the superficial stuff and be there for your kids. I was a stay at home mom, I babysat other peoples kids so I could stay home. We didn't have all the 'stuff' that seems so important to people now. We did have a lot of fun, love and now I am 56 and my 4 children are all married, I have 4 'grands' and I can now enjoy being a grandma and as my body and mind fall apart I do not have to worry about little league or sibling rivalry and changing diapers. No doubt some people will think that because I didn't have a career, I missed something. WEll I think that when you leave your children all the time to go to work you miss something, your children growing up and your opportunity to RAISE them not leave it up to someone else. Just my opinion... No regrets.
Posted by: hespeler
Posted on: 2005-04-05 11:24:31
I agree. I am not condoning young marraige by any stretch of the imagination, but I was married at 17, not necessarily a great idea, I had my first child at 21 and my last of 4 at 29. I loved being a parent, I stayed home because that is what I felt I needed to do. I feel that if you are ready to have children you should also be ready to give up the superficial stuff and be there for your kids. I was a stay at home mom, I babysat other peoples kids so I could stay home. We didn't have all the 'stuff' that seems so important to people now. We did have a lot of fun, love and now I am 56 and my 4 children are all married, I have 4 'grands' and I can now enjoy being a grandma and as my body and mind fall apart I do not have to worry about little league or sibling rivalry and changing diapers. No doubt some people will think that because I didn't have a career, I missed something. WEll I think that when you leave your children all the time to go to work you miss something, your children growing up and your opportunity to RAISE them not leave it up to someone else. Just my opinion... No regrets.
have you ever worked?
Posted by: didnos
Posted on: 2005-04-06 16:05:26
it is nice that you are happy . . . but i have to wonder since you are still quite young if your husband is supporting your family fully or do you rely on government programs. i have seen lots of messages where these young people are staying home and how wonderful it is to be at home. obviously you have never had to worry about putting a roof over your head. if your family is self supporting without any government programs than that is a great accomplishment. however, if you are not totally self supporting then you are really kind of playing house and have no idea what the real world is like. many people who have children when they are young think that everyone is suppose to support them just because they have children ( i am just making a statement - not necessarily to you). and then they say how wonderful everything is. no wonder it is wonderful they do not have to worry about rent/house paym ent, insurance, prescriptions, daycare, retirement, and now too many government programs pay for school breakfast (which i despise that program) and many organizations always ask for donations for school supplies and christmas gifts. i never give to these organizations any;more becasuse the people who use them continue to have children that they cannot afford. maybe if all of these mothers and children would help these organzations - like for example have a car wash when people donate items - it would be more acceptable. i am tired of all of these people getting a free ride. (again - not necessarily you but in my opinion stay at home moms - no matter what dr phil says - have no idea what is like to have to worry about these things and what the real world is like)
Posted by: didnos
Posted on: 2005-04-06 16:05:26
it is nice that you are happy . . . but i have to wonder since you are still quite young if your husband is supporting your family fully or do you rely on government programs. i have seen lots of messages where these young people are staying home and how wonderful it is to be at home. obviously you have never had to worry about putting a roof over your head. if your family is self supporting without any government programs than that is a great accomplishment. however, if you are not totally self supporting then you are really kind of playing house and have no idea what the real world is like. many people who have children when they are young think that everyone is suppose to support them just because they have children ( i am just making a statement - not necessarily to you). and then they say how wonderful everything is. no wonder it is wonderful they do not have to worry about rent/house paym ent, insurance, prescriptions, daycare, retirement, and now too many government programs pay for school breakfast (which i despise that program) and many organizations always ask for donations for school supplies and christmas gifts. i never give to these organizations any;more becasuse the people who use them continue to have children that they cannot afford. maybe if all of these mothers and children would help these organzations - like for example have a car wash when people donate items - it would be more acceptable. i am tired of all of these people getting a free ride. (again - not necessarily you but in my opinion stay at home moms - no matter what dr phil says - have no idea what is like to have to worry about these things and what the real world is like)
offensive
Posted by: keldavis
Posted on: 2005-04-06 23:16:07
I find this message about stay at home moms and government programs ignorant and offensive. First of all I am a stay ay home mother of three small children and although my husband fully supports our family, because he is fortunate to have a job that they can't ship overseas, if he would happen to lose his job tomorrow, I would not think twicw about applying for government assistance of some sort. Before I got married and had my first child (at age 19), I had worked everyday sinc I was 14. In the summers I would work at the local Dairy Queen when I was young and in the winter I would clean houses until I was 16 and then I worked full time at a rehular job. My point is you make it sound like stay at home moms have never worked a day in their lives. I am fortunate enoughto be able to stay home now, but from the time I was 14, I worked and I paid taxes just like the next guy. Now where do you suppose the money comes from that funds these government programs..... newsflash, most of it comes from our tax dollars. So considering that my husband and I have both paid in to the system, don't you think we should be able to use you if need be without people like you trying to make us feel bad about it????? So don't be so quick to judge people, there may come a day when you need a little help....and also just because someone recieves public assistance doesn't mean everything is honky dory... they still have rent/mortgage, insurance and all the things that you think us "welfare collecting, lazy, stay at home moms" don't have to pay.....just because we're young and mothers doesn't mean we don't hold our own....
Posted by: keldavis
Posted on: 2005-04-06 23:16:07
I find this message about stay at home moms and government programs ignorant and offensive. First of all I am a stay ay home mother of three small children and although my husband fully supports our family, because he is fortunate to have a job that they can't ship overseas, if he would happen to lose his job tomorrow, I would not think twicw about applying for government assistance of some sort. Before I got married and had my first child (at age 19), I had worked everyday sinc I was 14. In the summers I would work at the local Dairy Queen when I was young and in the winter I would clean houses until I was 16 and then I worked full time at a rehular job. My point is you make it sound like stay at home moms have never worked a day in their lives. I am fortunate enoughto be able to stay home now, but from the time I was 14, I worked and I paid taxes just like the next guy. Now where do you suppose the money comes from that funds these government programs..... newsflash, most of it comes from our tax dollars. So considering that my husband and I have both paid in to the system, don't you think we should be able to use you if need be without people like you trying to make us feel bad about it????? So don't be so quick to judge people, there may come a day when you need a little help....and also just because someone recieves public assistance doesn't mean everything is honky dory... they still have rent/mortgage, insurance and all the things that you think us "welfare collecting, lazy, stay at home moms" don't have to pay.....just because we're young and mothers doesn't mean we don't hold our own....
where do you live?
Posted by: jodikp
Posted on: 2005-04-07 13:15:22
I must say you have an interesting view of the world, where exactly did you get your facts? I am currently a stay at home mom, and I have a very clear view of reality. I am 28, have a nice new home, my husband does take care of our financial situation 100%, but I have worked before"in the real world" in management. However I do agree that if my family was to end up in some financial trouble, I would definatly search for a job before I would take any gov money, I mean the gov has a big enough defeceit as it is. Also, there was a time in our lives where my husband did lose his job so I got one to handle finances. So yes I have worried, and know exactly what the real world is like. But for now I am so happy I get to spend the first few years of my daughters life at home with her to teach her and take care of her (and my husband)
Posted by: jodikp
Posted on: 2005-04-07 13:15:22
I must say you have an interesting view of the world, where exactly did you get your facts? I am currently a stay at home mom, and I have a very clear view of reality. I am 28, have a nice new home, my husband does take care of our financial situation 100%, but I have worked before"in the real world" in management. However I do agree that if my family was to end up in some financial trouble, I would definatly search for a job before I would take any gov money, I mean the gov has a big enough defeceit as it is. Also, there was a time in our lives where my husband did lose his job so I got one to handle finances. So yes I have worried, and know exactly what the real world is like. But for now I am so happy I get to spend the first few years of my daughters life at home with her to teach her and take care of her (and my husband)
jodikp
Posted by: keldavis
Posted on: 2005-04-07 22:23:07
I too live in a nice 4 bedroom, 2.5 bath ranch on almost 13 acres with a nice little lake. My husband supports our family financially as well. My point was that everyone discredits people who honestly need a little help to get them going again... I have also worked in what you call the "real world". In high school I took post secondary classes for accounting. I am a CPA, I am also licensed to do hair and tatoos.... so it's not like I can't work and I would if I had to. All I know is that the commnebt that was made that stay at home moms don't have a clue about the "real world" and what goes on in it.... hello.... we are raising children, keeping house, maling sure that everyone within the household is taken care of, meals are prepared, bill payments are getting mailed out... ya know not to toot my own horn, but I am not sure this household would function properly or at least smoothly if my husband and I both put in 40+ hours a week. Besides why would I want to miss out on the best years of my kids' lives to go work for someone else??? By the way I live in a very tiny town in Ohio. And by tiny I mean there is one light and a duck crossing.......
Posted by: keldavis
Posted on: 2005-04-07 22:23:07
I too live in a nice 4 bedroom, 2.5 bath ranch on almost 13 acres with a nice little lake. My husband supports our family financially as well. My point was that everyone discredits people who honestly need a little help to get them going again... I have also worked in what you call the "real world". In high school I took post secondary classes for accounting. I am a CPA, I am also licensed to do hair and tatoos.... so it's not like I can't work and I would if I had to. All I know is that the commnebt that was made that stay at home moms don't have a clue about the "real world" and what goes on in it.... hello.... we are raising children, keeping house, maling sure that everyone within the household is taken care of, meals are prepared, bill payments are getting mailed out... ya know not to toot my own horn, but I am not sure this household would function properly or at least smoothly if my husband and I both put in 40+ hours a week. Besides why would I want to miss out on the best years of my kids' lives to go work for someone else??? By the way I live in a very tiny town in Ohio. And by tiny I mean there is one light and a duck crossing.......
Hey!
Posted by: queentween
Posted on: 2005-04-08 08:33:06
I agree with you about providing as much help as possible to people who find themselves in a sudden financial bind due to job loss, illness, tragedy. What frustrates me is the generational welfare system. Since the depression (when governmental welfare services began) there have been entire families who have depended on social services for everything. We are now looking at 4 (and sometimes 5)generations of people who haven't held jobs or provided for themselves. These poor people don't even know HOW to work- and their children have no examples of anyone getting up in the morning and heading out to a job- so how can we expect them to learn thats how life is? I think that having the services ready for people in crisis is fabulous, and I am certain thats what FDR's administration had in mind. I am not sure how successful the lifetime welfare system is.... BTW, I am a stay at home mom with a business- I just tell people I don't do anything except play ;)
Posted by: queentween
Posted on: 2005-04-08 08:33:06
I agree with you about providing as much help as possible to people who find themselves in a sudden financial bind due to job loss, illness, tragedy. What frustrates me is the generational welfare system. Since the depression (when governmental welfare services began) there have been entire families who have depended on social services for everything. We are now looking at 4 (and sometimes 5)generations of people who haven't held jobs or provided for themselves. These poor people don't even know HOW to work- and their children have no examples of anyone getting up in the morning and heading out to a job- so how can we expect them to learn thats how life is? I think that having the services ready for people in crisis is fabulous, and I am certain thats what FDR's administration had in mind. I am not sure how successful the lifetime welfare system is.... BTW, I am a stay at home mom with a business- I just tell people I don't do anything except play ;)
keldavis
Posted by: jodikp
Posted on: 2005-04-14 19:22:04
I was trying to make my point to the person you replied to. I agreed with you,I mean I have had to use state unemployment and did not feel guilty because I know I paid my fair share of taxes for that purpose. I dont know if youll get this, its pretty late of a date for a reply, but oh well. I used to live on a 20 acre ranch in a very small town in california, but had to move for a job. I love being with my baby and we need to be very secure about our choice. all hail stay at home moms!
Posted by: jodikp
Posted on: 2005-04-14 19:22:04
I was trying to make my point to the person you replied to. I agreed with you,I mean I have had to use state unemployment and did not feel guilty because I know I paid my fair share of taxes for that purpose. I dont know if youll get this, its pretty late of a date for a reply, but oh well. I used to live on a 20 acre ranch in a very small town in california, but had to move for a job. I love being with my baby and we need to be very secure about our choice. all hail stay at home moms!
You have got to be kidding!
Posted by: kaetch
Posted on: 2005-04-08 08:16:06
Your comments towards stay at home moms are ludicrous. Obviously, since I have taken offense, I am a stay at home mom myself. And yes, my husband, at the young age of 24 is supporting us fully, with no government assistance. To you, I guess that's "a great accomplishment." I don't understand why you made the comment about her not ever having to worry about putting a roof over her head. Maybe I should go back and read her message a little more closely. I'm just so agitated by yours though. Regardless of the information that the other message included, how can you say that stay at home moms have no idea what the real world is like? Are we not living in it? Were we born stay at home moms? I, for one, did actually work some before having my daughter. So, I guess I used to know what the real world was like and now I'm clueless? Although my husband is the one that earns the money for our household, I am the one that does the budget and all the bills. I could go on and on, but I don't want to bore anyone with mundane details. I just can't understand why you think that I have no idea what the real world is like. I do agree with you on one thing, sort of. I actually recall having a conversation with my husband about school supply donations. There was an article in the local paper about the donations, and it featured several families, one of which had four or five children. I remember telling my husband that if we ever couldn't afford school supplies for our first, second...whatever number child, that we shouldn't make any more babies. However, those children didn't chose to be born to irresponsible parents and it really is up to those of us who are better off to help those who have less. If not us, then who? And don't you think everyone deserves to eat breakfast, I mean really...
Posted by: kaetch
Posted on: 2005-04-08 08:16:06
Your comments towards stay at home moms are ludicrous. Obviously, since I have taken offense, I am a stay at home mom myself. And yes, my husband, at the young age of 24 is supporting us fully, with no government assistance. To you, I guess that's "a great accomplishment." I don't understand why you made the comment about her not ever having to worry about putting a roof over her head. Maybe I should go back and read her message a little more closely. I'm just so agitated by yours though. Regardless of the information that the other message included, how can you say that stay at home moms have no idea what the real world is like? Are we not living in it? Were we born stay at home moms? I, for one, did actually work some before having my daughter. So, I guess I used to know what the real world was like and now I'm clueless? Although my husband is the one that earns the money for our household, I am the one that does the budget and all the bills. I could go on and on, but I don't want to bore anyone with mundane details. I just can't understand why you think that I have no idea what the real world is like. I do agree with you on one thing, sort of. I actually recall having a conversation with my husband about school supply donations. There was an article in the local paper about the donations, and it featured several families, one of which had four or five children. I remember telling my husband that if we ever couldn't afford school supplies for our first, second...whatever number child, that we shouldn't make any more babies. However, those children didn't chose to be born to irresponsible parents and it really is up to those of us who are better off to help those who have less. If not us, then who? And don't you think everyone deserves to eat breakfast, I mean really...
Yes, I've worked
Posted by: skyjsd
Posted on: 2005-04-09 12:12:24
I worked until I got pregnant with my twins and was unable to. We don't rely on government programs either. I work a little bit earning about 200 a month but we mostly live on my husbands income, we have savings and stock. We are very good with our money and don't really spend that much. I understand what you're saying about those living on government support. We have taken measures do be sure we don't have any more kids, although I was on birth control when I got pregnant w/ my twins. We are using a more reliable method now:)
Posted by: skyjsd
Posted on: 2005-04-09 12:12:24
I worked until I got pregnant with my twins and was unable to. We don't rely on government programs either. I work a little bit earning about 200 a month but we mostly live on my husbands income, we have savings and stock. We are very good with our money and don't really spend that much. I understand what you're saying about those living on government support. We have taken measures do be sure we don't have any more kids, although I was on birth control when I got pregnant w/ my twins. We are using a more reliable method now:)
Posted by: mammaamia
Posted on: 2005-04-03 00:31:42
>>I am able to spend time with them without feeling as though I have sacrificed my life for them, creating a ton of guilt. Face it, when you are 25, you want to be out buying makeup and high heels- when you're 40, you want to spend the day playing soccer with your kids. Who really is ready for motherhood? <<
I don't feel as if Ive sacrificed my life for my children and I have three,Ryleigh will be 5 in June, Aidan turned 3 in Feb, and Peyton was born in September. Im 16 weeks pregnant now and thrilled about it. I may have missed out on parties and proms but those things aren't really important.Maybe I wasn't ready for Motherhood when I got pregnant at 15, but I know women in there 40's that aren't either. Its not the age that matters its the person.
Agree and Disagree
Posted by: vhagerty
Posted on: 2005-04-05 08:41:48
Hi mammaamia,
I agree with you, to an extent. Maturity DOES play a vital role in parenting; I agree there. But, a MATURE 15 year old doesn't compare to a MATURE adult in their 20s or 30s. The difference between an adult and a child, mature wise, are our life experiences. How many 13/14/15 year olds know what it means to pay a mortgage or juggle bills month to month? Not only that, a 25 year old with a high school diploma is more likely to get a job than a teenager still in school or who dropped out. I know there are always exceptions to the rules; I'm talking in generalities only. Considering the fact I was one of those 15 year olds who had to work to pay rent and buy my own food, I still know for an absolute fact that I was not even close to ready for motherhood. It was difficult enough getting myself taken care of, not to mention if a child were involved. I made a conscious decision to stay abstinent until marriage since I saw the effects sex had on my friends. Not only that, no matter how cocky this sounds, I felt like I was worth waiting for. :)
Posted by: vhagerty
Posted on: 2005-04-05 08:41:48
Hi mammaamia,
I agree with you, to an extent. Maturity DOES play a vital role in parenting; I agree there. But, a MATURE 15 year old doesn't compare to a MATURE adult in their 20s or 30s. The difference between an adult and a child, mature wise, are our life experiences. How many 13/14/15 year olds know what it means to pay a mortgage or juggle bills month to month? Not only that, a 25 year old with a high school diploma is more likely to get a job than a teenager still in school or who dropped out. I know there are always exceptions to the rules; I'm talking in generalities only. Considering the fact I was one of those 15 year olds who had to work to pay rent and buy my own food, I still know for an absolute fact that I was not even close to ready for motherhood. It was difficult enough getting myself taken care of, not to mention if a child were involved. I made a conscious decision to stay abstinent until marriage since I saw the effects sex had on my friends. Not only that, no matter how cocky this sounds, I felt like I was worth waiting for. :)
Worth Waiting For
Posted by: mommys8
Posted on: 2005-04-05 18:51:04
I am so glad to hear you make that statement! I also was abstinent until marriage and hope my daughters will hold out and fight the "trends" knowing that they are worth waiting for and that the only men who have the incredible privelege of that gift will be the ones that they said "I Do" to.
I think you're awesome!!!
Posted by: mommys8
Posted on: 2005-04-05 18:51:04
I am so glad to hear you make that statement! I also was abstinent until marriage and hope my daughters will hold out and fight the "trends" knowing that they are worth waiting for and that the only men who have the incredible privelege of that gift will be the ones that they said "I Do" to.
I think you're awesome!!!
