02/24 'Is My Son a Sexual Predator?' Part 2
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Posted by: klate9
Posted on: 2005-02-24 00:04:17
I didn't need you stop the tape to see what I feel anyone like me that been there saw the trun the the look to see if anyone saw what he was doing i felt sick for her and the family. The dad i feel still haves rose glasses on . Or I sould say he was hoping it not so. I know with help he can cange . I know because it was my father that hurt me it took years for me to get over it And yes my mom stayed and did not belive me for along time .But somehow we {I} was to over come what been. Hope they can heal all the hurt in thouh life
Posted by: klate9
Posted on: 2005-02-24 00:04:17
I didn't need you stop the tape to see what I feel anyone like me that been there saw the trun the the look to see if anyone saw what he was doing i felt sick for her and the family. The dad i feel still haves rose glasses on . Or I sould say he was hoping it not so. I know with help he can cange . I know because it was my father that hurt me it took years for me to get over it And yes my mom stayed and did not belive me for along time .But somehow we {I} was to over come what been. Hope they can heal all the hurt in thouh life
Posted by: barretalle
Posted on: 2005-02-24 09:50:54
Something is so terribly wrong with this whole family. They all appear to be so knowledgeable regarding sexual abuse and the effects this abuse can have. The alleged perpetrator has all the right psychobabble down pat. This behavior supposedly started many years ago. This boy seems to be the vessel that this family uses to pour all of it's woes into. He has absorbed their anger and hate. Is he fullfilling a family expectation? How long has he been the brunt of all of their fears and negative feelings? No wonder he lies and has seperated himself from reality. Why wasn't this entire family in therapy many years ago. It must be extremely painful for anyone to live in this toxic family. I do believe the little girl is in danger. I think all of the children are in danger from feelings of fear and extreme negativity. I do hope they all receive the help they so desperately need.
THE SECRECY OF CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE
Posted by: anon_slc
Posted on: 2005-02-26 01:00:35
It is estimated that there are 60 million survivors of childhood sexual abuse in America today. It is estimated that children with disabilities are 4 to 10 times more vulnerable to sexual abuse than their non-disabled peers. For more info:
www.prevent-abuse-now.com/index.htm
Sexual victimization may profoundly interfere with and alter the development of attitudes toward self, sexuality, and trusting relationships during the critical early years of development.
If the child victim does not resolve the trauma, sexuality may become an area of adult conflict.
Posted by: anon_slc
Posted on: 2005-02-26 01:00:35
It is estimated that there are 60 million survivors of childhood sexual abuse in America today. It is estimated that children with disabilities are 4 to 10 times more vulnerable to sexual abuse than their non-disabled peers. For more info:
www.prevent-abuse-now.com/index.htm
Sexual victimization may profoundly interfere with and alter the development of attitudes toward self, sexuality, and trusting relationships during the critical early years of development.
If the child victim does not resolve the trauma, sexuality may become an area of adult conflict.
What purpose did this show serve?
Posted by: mrsbill477
Posted on: 2005-02-26 21:24:29
The above statistics were startling, so if these stats prove true, why humiliate a family on national TV? I question the motives of the family along with the Dr. Phil show for airing this program. Mikai is OBVIOUSLY ill. His demeanor suggests he is detached as a full participant in society. He resembles a sociopath and a pathological liar. He is legally liable for all acts committed as are the parents. After this show they can look forward to ridicule and criticism. Mikai should see a psychiatrist along with his dysfunctional family. What an unfortunate mess.
Posted by: mrsbill477
Posted on: 2005-02-26 21:24:29
The above statistics were startling, so if these stats prove true, why humiliate a family on national TV? I question the motives of the family along with the Dr. Phil show for airing this program. Mikai is OBVIOUSLY ill. His demeanor suggests he is detached as a full participant in society. He resembles a sociopath and a pathological liar. He is legally liable for all acts committed as are the parents. After this show they can look forward to ridicule and criticism. Mikai should see a psychiatrist along with his dysfunctional family. What an unfortunate mess.
BRINGING MUCH NEEDED PUBLIC AWARENESS - THANKS DP
Posted by: anon_slc
Posted on: 2005-02-26 23:44:15
Yes the above statistics are startling and will continue to be startling, unless attention is brought to this "secret" and too often ignored epidemic. And Dr Phil announced at the start of this 2-part series that those where his intentions.
I have to admit I am totally puzzled why so many posters feel so threatened by the airing of this show. Like the DR says, anger is triggered by fear, frustration and pain. Perhaps these posters have something to hide (like child sexual abuse within their own families) and want to continue to let sleeping dogs lie.
I personally believe that any "reasonable person" is NOT going to humilitate, ridicule and criticize this family. But will weigh the circumstances with well thought out silent judgement. I also believe there are more reasonable people in the world than not.
If I personally see any of these family members on the street, I will be inclined to walk up to them ask them how they are doing and truly thank them for appearing on the show to help bring awareness to CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE.
I have no doubt that with proper counseling for all members of this family this will be a happily ever after story. I see nothing but light at the end of the tunnel for everyone, Maikai, his parents and siblings and the world, which will have at least one less sexual predator prowling for innocent and helpless victims.
Posted by: anon_slc
Posted on: 2005-02-26 23:44:15
Yes the above statistics are startling and will continue to be startling, unless attention is brought to this "secret" and too often ignored epidemic. And Dr Phil announced at the start of this 2-part series that those where his intentions.
I have to admit I am totally puzzled why so many posters feel so threatened by the airing of this show. Like the DR says, anger is triggered by fear, frustration and pain. Perhaps these posters have something to hide (like child sexual abuse within their own families) and want to continue to let sleeping dogs lie.
I personally believe that any "reasonable person" is NOT going to humilitate, ridicule and criticize this family. But will weigh the circumstances with well thought out silent judgement. I also believe there are more reasonable people in the world than not.
If I personally see any of these family members on the street, I will be inclined to walk up to them ask them how they are doing and truly thank them for appearing on the show to help bring awareness to CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE.
I have no doubt that with proper counseling for all members of this family this will be a happily ever after story. I see nothing but light at the end of the tunnel for everyone, Maikai, his parents and siblings and the world, which will have at least one less sexual predator prowling for innocent and helpless victims.
Kudos
Posted by: moxiejava0
Posted on: 2005-03-03 10:14:24
I just want to say that I agree with "anon slc". That's exactly what I feel.
Posted by: moxiejava0
Posted on: 2005-03-03 10:14:24
I just want to say that I agree with "anon slc". That's exactly what I feel.
What?!
Posted by: missmoose
Posted on: 2005-03-04 19:04:57
What dreamland do you live in? Are you kidding me with those comments? Obviously you don't get out much because society is very unforgiving these days. And no, not everyone who thinks this show was inappropriate has abuse in his/her past. Maybe we just have a good sense of compassion in our hearts. By the way, what right do you have to pass "silent judgement" on anyone? As far as your "happily ever" comment, you must have been off in your dreamland when the family vented their hatred and rage on this young man. Wake up and become a part of the real world.
Posted by: missmoose
Posted on: 2005-03-04 19:04:57
What dreamland do you live in? Are you kidding me with those comments? Obviously you don't get out much because society is very unforgiving these days. And no, not everyone who thinks this show was inappropriate has abuse in his/her past. Maybe we just have a good sense of compassion in our hearts. By the way, what right do you have to pass "silent judgement" on anyone? As far as your "happily ever" comment, you must have been off in your dreamland when the family vented their hatred and rage on this young man. Wake up and become a part of the real world.
FOG - FEAR OBLIGATION AND GUILT
Posted by: anon_slc
Posted on: 2005-03-05 12:46:54
My childhood sexual predators (12 and 16 year old rapists/brothers) were raised in a deelply religious household. And because of that I strongly recommend the following books to anyone whose sexual predator(s) was/were also from a religious family:
Emotional Blackmail: When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation, and Guilt to Manipulate You by Susan Forward and Donna Frazier
Behind the Masks: Personality Disorders in the Church by C. Marvin Pate, Sheryl Lynn Pate, Sheryl L. Pate OR Behind the Masks: Personality Disorders in Religious Behavior by Wayne E. Oates
The last two books combine personal and congregational stories with theoretical ideas, looking at the different concepts of family dynamics and emotional systems theory - anxiety and reactivity, separateness and closeness, stability and change, and clarity and compassion.
Posted by: anon_slc
Posted on: 2005-03-05 12:46:54
My childhood sexual predators (12 and 16 year old rapists/brothers) were raised in a deelply religious household. And because of that I strongly recommend the following books to anyone whose sexual predator(s) was/were also from a religious family:
Emotional Blackmail: When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation, and Guilt to Manipulate You by Susan Forward and Donna Frazier
Behind the Masks: Personality Disorders in the Church by C. Marvin Pate, Sheryl Lynn Pate, Sheryl L. Pate OR Behind the Masks: Personality Disorders in Religious Behavior by Wayne E. Oates
The last two books combine personal and congregational stories with theoretical ideas, looking at the different concepts of family dynamics and emotional systems theory - anxiety and reactivity, separateness and closeness, stability and change, and clarity and compassion.
CHILD SEXUAL ABUSERS AND SURVIVORS UNITE
Posted by: anon_slc
Posted on: 2005-03-05 16:19:35
Here is a book from which both sexual abusers and survivors can benefit - healing anxiety and depression. Not only do anxiety and depression often occur together, here are seven distinct types of the disorders.
Healing Anxiety And Depression: Heal the 7 Types of Anxiety and Depression by Daniel G. Amen and Lisa C. Routh
A psychiatrist and neuroscience researcher use brain imaging to group anxiety and depressive disorders into seven clusters, all which light up specific parts of the brain when certain conditions or patient mind-states are created.
Hope it helps!
Posted by: anon_slc
Posted on: 2005-03-05 16:19:35
Here is a book from which both sexual abusers and survivors can benefit - healing anxiety and depression. Not only do anxiety and depression often occur together, here are seven distinct types of the disorders.
Healing Anxiety And Depression: Heal the 7 Types of Anxiety and Depression by Daniel G. Amen and Lisa C. Routh
A psychiatrist and neuroscience researcher use brain imaging to group anxiety and depressive disorders into seven clusters, all which light up specific parts of the brain when certain conditions or patient mind-states are created.
Hope it helps!
false memory or lying perpetrator ?
Posted by: freudsid
Posted on: 2005-03-07 20:07:14
I have appreciated all the comments I have read. This family is far from perfect but I applaud their courage in adressing the sexual abuse in their family. The video of the "tickling" about made me sick. It was very reminicient. My family claims I have made up the abuse, that it is just my imagination. My mother has latched onto the term "false memory syndrome". I think this is hog wash. I think lying perpetrator syndrome is closer to the truth. Has anyone else out there experienced this with their family?
Posted by: freudsid
Posted on: 2005-03-07 20:07:14
I have appreciated all the comments I have read. This family is far from perfect but I applaud their courage in adressing the sexual abuse in their family. The video of the "tickling" about made me sick. It was very reminicient. My family claims I have made up the abuse, that it is just my imagination. My mother has latched onto the term "false memory syndrome". I think this is hog wash. I think lying perpetrator syndrome is closer to the truth. Has anyone else out there experienced this with their family?
EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE PARENTS
Posted by: anon_slc
Posted on: 2005-03-08 10:12:39
Two of my favorite books on the subject of emotionally unavailable parents are:
Children of the Self-Absorbed: A Grown-Up's Guide to Getting Over Narcissistic Parents by Nina Brown OR The Narcissistic Family: Diagnosis and Treatment by Stephanie Donaldson-Pressman and Robert M. Pressman
Understanding the Borderline Mother: Helping Her Children Transcend the Intense, Unpredictable, and Volatile Relationship by Christine Ann Lawson
It focuses on the conduct of parents and their children trying to make sense out of their chaotic lifestyles in search of love, self-worth, acceptance, and inner peace.
Hope it helps!
Posted by: anon_slc
Posted on: 2005-03-08 10:12:39
Two of my favorite books on the subject of emotionally unavailable parents are:
Children of the Self-Absorbed: A Grown-Up's Guide to Getting Over Narcissistic Parents by Nina Brown OR The Narcissistic Family: Diagnosis and Treatment by Stephanie Donaldson-Pressman and Robert M. Pressman
Understanding the Borderline Mother: Helping Her Children Transcend the Intense, Unpredictable, and Volatile Relationship by Christine Ann Lawson
It focuses on the conduct of parents and their children trying to make sense out of their chaotic lifestyles in search of love, self-worth, acceptance, and inner peace.
Hope it helps!
Thanks for the Title
Posted by: jjlhicks
Posted on: 2005-05-09 17:34:04
Thanks for the title on Borderline Mothers. I never knew such a book existed. I grew up with a mother who in later life was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. I was sexually molested as a child on more than one occasion by more than one person. My mother never believed me - used to say it was "just my imagination". I've spent years in and out of therapy, and not one therapist ever explored this aspect of my despression. I remember every episode of sexual abuse like it was yesterday. As a result of my mother denying my allegations, I grew up a scared, insecure child who, as an adult, had no idea how to recognize a healthy relationship. As a result, I went from one abusive relationship to another. At 41 I'm separated from an abusive husband and am trying to raise two little boys, ages 4 and 8. I plan on getting this book as soon as I finish this message posting.
Posted by: jjlhicks
Posted on: 2005-05-09 17:34:04
Thanks for the title on Borderline Mothers. I never knew such a book existed. I grew up with a mother who in later life was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. I was sexually molested as a child on more than one occasion by more than one person. My mother never believed me - used to say it was "just my imagination". I've spent years in and out of therapy, and not one therapist ever explored this aspect of my despression. I remember every episode of sexual abuse like it was yesterday. As a result of my mother denying my allegations, I grew up a scared, insecure child who, as an adult, had no idea how to recognize a healthy relationship. As a result, I went from one abusive relationship to another. At 41 I'm separated from an abusive husband and am trying to raise two little boys, ages 4 and 8. I plan on getting this book as soon as I finish this message posting.
Shared the pain of abuse
Posted by: shelsire1
Posted on: 2005-03-16 10:00:50
Reading about this case has only made me more aware of how prevalant this issue is......sure it makes me so angry and hurt to know that this is a normality in alot of families.....but am chilled by the fact that it is so real and affects not only the victim ..........................but the family so deeply.
I have experienced abuse by a family member and I know how this has affected me and my loved ones over the years.
Thanks to Dr Phill for being so direct....enabling the victims and helping the abusers .
Posted by: shelsire1
Posted on: 2005-03-16 10:00:50
Reading about this case has only made me more aware of how prevalant this issue is......sure it makes me so angry and hurt to know that this is a normality in alot of families.....but am chilled by the fact that it is so real and affects not only the victim ..........................but the family so deeply.
I have experienced abuse by a family member and I know how this has affected me and my loved ones over the years.
Thanks to Dr Phill for being so direct....enabling the victims and helping the abusers .
IRRESPONSIBLE SHOW
Posted by: sydsamseb
Posted on: 2005-03-07 10:14:14
I COULDNT BELIEVE MY EARS THE OTHER DAY WHEN I WAS WATCHING THIS SHOW! I THOUGHT THIS WAS TOTALLY WRONG TO SUBJECT THIS CHILD TO PUBLIC HUMILIATION..ONES PARENTS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE "A SOFT PLACE TO FALL"AND I THOUGHT THIS BOY HAD NO PLACE OR PERSON TO HELP HIM..I CANT IMAGINE HOW CONFUSED I WOULD FEEL IF ALL MY FAMILY AND DR PHIL ATTACKED ME ON TV? THESE PARENTS SHOULD BE CHARGED WITH CHILD ABUSE THEMSELVES!!
PS. CHILD ABUSE SHOULD BE ADDRESSED IN A DIFFERENT AND MORE RESPONSIBLE WAY...NOT ON
A TV SHOW.....
Posted by: sydsamseb
Posted on: 2005-03-07 10:14:14
I COULDNT BELIEVE MY EARS THE OTHER DAY WHEN I WAS WATCHING THIS SHOW! I THOUGHT THIS WAS TOTALLY WRONG TO SUBJECT THIS CHILD TO PUBLIC HUMILIATION..ONES PARENTS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE "A SOFT PLACE TO FALL"AND I THOUGHT THIS BOY HAD NO PLACE OR PERSON TO HELP HIM..I CANT IMAGINE HOW CONFUSED I WOULD FEEL IF ALL MY FAMILY AND DR PHIL ATTACKED ME ON TV? THESE PARENTS SHOULD BE CHARGED WITH CHILD ABUSE THEMSELVES!!
PS. CHILD ABUSE SHOULD BE ADDRESSED IN A DIFFERENT AND MORE RESPONSIBLE WAY...NOT ON
A TV SHOW.....
Posted by: zachmatt2
Posted on: 2005-03-07 11:19:05
First the boy had been lying about numerous things to his parents, and they clearly did not know were else to turn. Secondly Dr. Phil was not attacking him. He is trying to help this boy turn his life around. He even said he may be the only friend this boy has right now. He is trying to save this family who felt they had no were else to turn.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?!
Posted by: barbw55
Posted on: 2005-03-07 21:39:21
He is not a child! He is an adult!!
These parents have gone the extra mile with
this guy!!!Dr. Phil and the parents were
NOT ATTACKING HIM!!!!! They are trying to get him HELP!! This is a subject that NEEDS to be addressed.
What if that had been your little girl??
You had tried everything possible to get this
person help and nothing worked. What would you have done keep it quiet?? To me, that is
child abuse. Thank you Dr. Phil and the parents!
Posted by: barbw55
Posted on: 2005-03-07 21:39:21
He is not a child! He is an adult!!
These parents have gone the extra mile with
this guy!!!Dr. Phil and the parents were
NOT ATTACKING HIM!!!!! They are trying to get him HELP!! This is a subject that NEEDS to be addressed.
What if that had been your little girl??
You had tried everything possible to get this
person help and nothing worked. What would you have done keep it quiet?? To me, that is
child abuse. Thank you Dr. Phil and the parents!
are you kidding yourself?
Posted by: sydsamseb
Posted on: 2005-03-08 15:38:03
FIRST OFF----THESES"PARENTS" FOR A LACK OF A BETTER WORD HAVE NOT GONE THE EXTRA MILE...THEY LIKE THEIR SON ARE ACTING NOT AT ALL LIKE ADULTS ..MABYE BECAUSE OF THEIR PAST SEXUAL ABUSE THEY NEVER DEVELOPED INTO
FUNCTIONING ADULTS..THE BOY IS A BOY---SOMEHOW HE STOPPED MATURING MENTALLY --MABYE FROM HIS SEXUAL ABUSE? SO IF YOU ARE THINKING LIKE A CHILD----YOU WOULD BE THINKING YOU WERE BEING ATTACKED ON THIS SHOW..
MY THOUGHTS ARE THAT DR PHIL SHOULD HAVE HANDLED THIS OFF THE AIR-- I AM NOT SAYING CHILD ABUSE SHOULD BE KEPT QUIET--THATS NOT MY POINT--BUT THIS CASE WAS TOOOOOO HURTFULL TO EVERYONE ON THAT PANEL AND I DONT THINK THE PARENTS AND CHILDREN HAD THE MATURITY LEVEL TO DECIDE TO DO THIS PUBLICLY..
THOSE PARENTS FAILED ALL OF THEIR CHILDREN !!! EVEN MIKAI!!!!
Posted by: sydsamseb
Posted on: 2005-03-08 15:38:03
FIRST OFF----THESES"PARENTS" FOR A LACK OF A BETTER WORD HAVE NOT GONE THE EXTRA MILE...THEY LIKE THEIR SON ARE ACTING NOT AT ALL LIKE ADULTS ..MABYE BECAUSE OF THEIR PAST SEXUAL ABUSE THEY NEVER DEVELOPED INTO
FUNCTIONING ADULTS..THE BOY IS A BOY---SOMEHOW HE STOPPED MATURING MENTALLY --MABYE FROM HIS SEXUAL ABUSE? SO IF YOU ARE THINKING LIKE A CHILD----YOU WOULD BE THINKING YOU WERE BEING ATTACKED ON THIS SHOW..
MY THOUGHTS ARE THAT DR PHIL SHOULD HAVE HANDLED THIS OFF THE AIR-- I AM NOT SAYING CHILD ABUSE SHOULD BE KEPT QUIET--THATS NOT MY POINT--BUT THIS CASE WAS TOOOOOO HURTFULL TO EVERYONE ON THAT PANEL AND I DONT THINK THE PARENTS AND CHILDREN HAD THE MATURITY LEVEL TO DECIDE TO DO THIS PUBLICLY..
THOSE PARENTS FAILED ALL OF THEIR CHILDREN !!! EVEN MIKAI!!!!
Hey
Posted by: eteresa
Posted on: 2005-03-11 23:19:22
I agree with you wholeheartedly. I feel so bad for that young man. I mean, I can't believe that his father could turn his back on him so easily. It is quite typical though. The mother sticking around for her son and the father bailing out, go figure. Anyway, I really hope that Dr. Phil will continue being that, 'soft place for him to fall on.' I am so glad Dr. Phil told him that he isn't a monster. I agree. He isn't. He just needs counseling and support. Good luck to him.
Posted by: eteresa
Posted on: 2005-03-11 23:19:22
I agree with you wholeheartedly. I feel so bad for that young man. I mean, I can't believe that his father could turn his back on him so easily. It is quite typical though. The mother sticking around for her son and the father bailing out, go figure. Anyway, I really hope that Dr. Phil will continue being that, 'soft place for him to fall on.' I am so glad Dr. Phil told him that he isn't a monster. I agree. He isn't. He just needs counseling and support. Good luck to him.
i agree
Posted by: rug04rat01
Posted on: 2005-03-06 09:37:10
i agree with you on why so many posters are offended by this show. are they afraid of facing the truth? there is so much going on that people are so afraid to admit too but one day it could end up like this family if more of us dont wake up to all thats REALLY going on in the world. teenagers today are having sex at younger ages, there was a special on tv on a friday night about how teens think oral sex is ok, theres so much online predators and kids talking to them, theres more drugs being used by kids and things like that. more eating disorders in girls AND boys. I just think more awareness of all this needs to be brought to parents and adults. I think Dr. Phil did a good thing. Maybe it could inspire people suffering like Mikai to get help or people that have been raped or abused to come forward, knowing no it wasnt there fault.
Posted by: rug04rat01
Posted on: 2005-03-06 09:37:10
i agree with you on why so many posters are offended by this show. are they afraid of facing the truth? there is so much going on that people are so afraid to admit too but one day it could end up like this family if more of us dont wake up to all thats REALLY going on in the world. teenagers today are having sex at younger ages, there was a special on tv on a friday night about how teens think oral sex is ok, theres so much online predators and kids talking to them, theres more drugs being used by kids and things like that. more eating disorders in girls AND boys. I just think more awareness of all this needs to be brought to parents and adults. I think Dr. Phil did a good thing. Maybe it could inspire people suffering like Mikai to get help or people that have been raped or abused to come forward, knowing no it wasnt there fault.
