01/03 Money Makeover
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Posted by: merganthe
Posted on: 2005-01-03 07:57:52
Eris, you seem like a really good person, husband, and father. Concentrate more on what you can do with your children than the 'stuff' you buy for them. In the end, they'll value the time you did things with them than all of the clothes and toys you bought them. A hug is worth a lot more than you might think.
There was a film made a while back. I think it was called "Baby". A comment from an older man to a younger one really struck home.... "How many millionares are you wearing?" He was referring to the outrageously expensive name brand clothes the younger character HAD to wear. They didn't care about him, only his money. Your hard earned money is lining someone else's pockets because you believe that to be a good provider, you should spend spend spend. When you dress in nothing but brand names with tags, you are paying them to advertise their products with your hard work. What a waste!
Talk to some professional car salesmen... Those that sell very expensive cars. They will admit that they will make more of an effort with people who are not dressed that fancy because they know these are the people who can pay cold hard cash for the cars. People dressed in logos are usually over their heads and can't really afford what they want.
I hope you wake up and realize how much in jeopardy your family is. If you lose the roof over your head or the electricity to prepare basic needs like hot water and food, then what is all these beautiful clothes worth in the end? You're living a lie. You cannot afford the lifestyle you portray. How is that good for your family life?
I wish you well.
M.
Posted by: merganthe
Posted on: 2005-01-03 07:57:52
Eris, you seem like a really good person, husband, and father. Concentrate more on what you can do with your children than the 'stuff' you buy for them. In the end, they'll value the time you did things with them than all of the clothes and toys you bought them. A hug is worth a lot more than you might think.
There was a film made a while back. I think it was called "Baby". A comment from an older man to a younger one really struck home.... "How many millionares are you wearing?" He was referring to the outrageously expensive name brand clothes the younger character HAD to wear. They didn't care about him, only his money. Your hard earned money is lining someone else's pockets because you believe that to be a good provider, you should spend spend spend. When you dress in nothing but brand names with tags, you are paying them to advertise their products with your hard work. What a waste!
Talk to some professional car salesmen... Those that sell very expensive cars. They will admit that they will make more of an effort with people who are not dressed that fancy because they know these are the people who can pay cold hard cash for the cars. People dressed in logos are usually over their heads and can't really afford what they want.
I hope you wake up and realize how much in jeopardy your family is. If you lose the roof over your head or the electricity to prepare basic needs like hot water and food, then what is all these beautiful clothes worth in the end? You're living a lie. You cannot afford the lifestyle you portray. How is that good for your family life?
I wish you well.
M.
Thank you
Posted by: xiaoyusmom
Posted on: 2005-01-03 13:33:45
I thank you for the positive and helpful feedback. So many people are just trying to bring us down with their comments. I know that if we had not been so much in debt before my husband started making so much money that we would be able to afford the lifestyle that we choose, but the fact is that we need to step back and get our finances together before we treat ourselves. I want my kids to know that your actions define who you are not your posessions. We are good people, we just have faults like everyone else.
Posted by: xiaoyusmom
Posted on: 2005-01-03 13:33:45
I thank you for the positive and helpful feedback. So many people are just trying to bring us down with their comments. I know that if we had not been so much in debt before my husband started making so much money that we would be able to afford the lifestyle that we choose, but the fact is that we need to step back and get our finances together before we treat ourselves. I want my kids to know that your actions define who you are not your posessions. We are good people, we just have faults like everyone else.
Posted by: brwnvirgin
Posted on: 2005-01-03 16:03:26
Hi Vivian,
I don't think your situation is a black or white. Most people you talk to are in financial debt regardless of their education or family makeup. I reward you guys that you are trying to make a change at this point in your life because you both are still very young.
Keep you heads up and realize this situation is not exclusive to you guys only, and you are not alone.
Good luck to you.
Good people who fall for media junk!
Posted by: boofitz
Posted on: 2005-01-03 20:30:00
I think you and I and SO many others are people who get "hoodwinked" into what T.V., Movies, and our neighbors say what life is like. We can never live up to what a sitcom or commercial says our lives are supposed to look like.
My husband and I and our kids live in a house we can afford and it is not fancy or stylish like some of the other families who have kids in the same school. BUT!! I get to work part-time and we have a 401-k going. All the granite counters and fancy labels can't replace this stability in our lives. We may not be very COOL but we feel safe. Before you say I'm bragging, I know what you think... however, I grew up with a single mom who always wanted to look great and have stuff for me and my sister. We had STUFF but at the end of it all when she got breast cancer there was nothing. It was so sad. Everybody please just look at what you are going to charge on your card and ask, is it really worth it???? Ingrid
Posted by: boofitz
Posted on: 2005-01-03 20:30:00
I think you and I and SO many others are people who get "hoodwinked" into what T.V., Movies, and our neighbors say what life is like. We can never live up to what a sitcom or commercial says our lives are supposed to look like.
My husband and I and our kids live in a house we can afford and it is not fancy or stylish like some of the other families who have kids in the same school. BUT!! I get to work part-time and we have a 401-k going. All the granite counters and fancy labels can't replace this stability in our lives. We may not be very COOL but we feel safe. Before you say I'm bragging, I know what you think... however, I grew up with a single mom who always wanted to look great and have stuff for me and my sister. We had STUFF but at the end of it all when she got breast cancer there was nothing. It was so sad. Everybody please just look at what you are going to charge on your card and ask, is it really worth it???? Ingrid
reply to boofitz
Posted by: boncha1
Posted on: 2005-01-04 09:37:05
Dear Boofitz:
I would think you would be more understanding, but it does not seems that your are bragging. It seems that you did not learn from your experience from your childhood with your mother that everything can come crashing down due to an illness. Maybe your mother did not plan, but that was my families case.
My husband and I started out planning, I took out only one student loan when went to school,which I paid propmtly. I took out a 401k at my job and we had a small life policy on my husband, but we did not plan on him getting cancer at the age of 35 and him battling it for 10 long years and incurring huge amounts of medical bills. Then I had two strokes and being out on disability. So there for financial planning. I am glad that I did get Long Term disability Insurance at work which pays me 70% of my gross pay, but I still have to pay for my health insurance which is about $500.00 per month and that is before paying any co-pay or medications. Then I have to pay all my other expenses and raise three children who are now in college. I want some to tell me how I can do this with out being in debt.
Posted by: boncha1
Posted on: 2005-01-04 09:37:05
Dear Boofitz:
I would think you would be more understanding, but it does not seems that your are bragging. It seems that you did not learn from your experience from your childhood with your mother that everything can come crashing down due to an illness. Maybe your mother did not plan, but that was my families case.
My husband and I started out planning, I took out only one student loan when went to school,which I paid propmtly. I took out a 401k at my job and we had a small life policy on my husband, but we did not plan on him getting cancer at the age of 35 and him battling it for 10 long years and incurring huge amounts of medical bills. Then I had two strokes and being out on disability. So there for financial planning. I am glad that I did get Long Term disability Insurance at work which pays me 70% of my gross pay, but I still have to pay for my health insurance which is about $500.00 per month and that is before paying any co-pay or medications. Then I have to pay all my other expenses and raise three children who are now in college. I want some to tell me how I can do this with out being in debt.
Reply to boncha1
Posted by: boofitz
Posted on: 2005-01-05 23:01:41
I wanted to keep my comment short so I did not go into details. My point really was that my mom got into debt with designer labels and items that we really could not afford and had no savings. When she got cancer she was already in a lot of credit card debt and this made a hard situation so much harder.
If mom had not spent so much on luxury items and had a savings put aside she would have had less stress and more joy. Bottom line is we should live within our means and save for when the bad times come. I miss my mom alot and I feel I did learn from her situation. God bless you and your family.
Posted by: boofitz
Posted on: 2005-01-05 23:01:41
I wanted to keep my comment short so I did not go into details. My point really was that my mom got into debt with designer labels and items that we really could not afford and had no savings. When she got cancer she was already in a lot of credit card debt and this made a hard situation so much harder.
If mom had not spent so much on luxury items and had a savings put aside she would have had less stress and more joy. Bottom line is we should live within our means and save for when the bad times come. I miss my mom alot and I feel I did learn from her situation. God bless you and your family.
I know the feeling
Posted by: dianah20
Posted on: 2005-01-08 12:52:25
I was laid off a $65000/year job three years ago. I haven't been able to find another job in my field (IT) and am now working at a grocery store for $6.00/hour. I wasn't able to make the December house payment. I've gone through my savings and retirement.
This is the first time in my life I haven't been able to support my family.
Posted by: dianah20
Posted on: 2005-01-08 12:52:25
I was laid off a $65000/year job three years ago. I haven't been able to find another job in my field (IT) and am now working at a grocery store for $6.00/hour. I wasn't able to make the December house payment. I've gone through my savings and retirement.
This is the first time in my life I haven't been able to support my family.
Hi Vivian
Posted by: scmom2hk
Posted on: 2005-01-03 21:25:49
I think it is short sighted to say this is black or white. You are a decent, attractive couple. I think on some level many of us see our younger selves in you. I have been in your boat - not to that extent. I grew up in very well off and started out trying to have all those things. I have never filed bankruptcy but did face debt problems that led to poor credit while I was young.
I don't think Eris could stand clunkers - I know how he feels. But image is silly if you can't pay your phone bill or rent & have homes repossessed. I hope you follow the financial advisor's advice - especially where debt is concerned. Pay your bills FIRST. Get rid of the motorcycle. Even if he only gets 5 grand. I have a very high car payment too (for a Durango too) but my husband's truck is paid for and we can afford it. Still, I plan on getting a better rate the next time. Anyone can buy a car but the interest you pay and PAYMENT is HUNDREDS more a month when you have poor credit. There is a site that was very helpful to me in getting our money back on track - myfico.com. Your fico score is used by every lender. If you have a poor credit score, your interest rate and payment is SO much higher than everyone else's. The most important thing is decent housing you can afford. NEVER would I jeopardize the 'warm and dry' factor – don’t ever let that payment be late.
Eris: You look like such a nice guy - and I can tell you love your family. I was again, raised on the water with five boats, had cars given to me as a teen, went to a private school, had a very upscale life growing up. But I went through a time when I was a young adult - my power got cut off, etc. because I was making the same mistakes as you. Now I am not rich, I am not poor, but my husband and I have a nice home (not huge), my kids are dressed very nicely and I can tell you, they do wear SOME Ralph Lauren or Tommy but they ALSO wear Target clothes. It just depends - you have to know what looks nice, it is not all about the label - actually, to well off people too many labels looks like a tacky 'wannabe'. I know lots of very well off people who shop at Target. So don't be ashamed to buy decent things without labels. Your view is a bit off-kilter of what status is. I think as you and Vivian move forward you can change this tide and come out on top. It will make you stronger as a team, to work hard towards this financial health.
Good luck and God Bless,
Leslie
Posted by: scmom2hk
Posted on: 2005-01-03 21:25:49
I think it is short sighted to say this is black or white. You are a decent, attractive couple. I think on some level many of us see our younger selves in you. I have been in your boat - not to that extent. I grew up in very well off and started out trying to have all those things. I have never filed bankruptcy but did face debt problems that led to poor credit while I was young.
I don't think Eris could stand clunkers - I know how he feels. But image is silly if you can't pay your phone bill or rent & have homes repossessed. I hope you follow the financial advisor's advice - especially where debt is concerned. Pay your bills FIRST. Get rid of the motorcycle. Even if he only gets 5 grand. I have a very high car payment too (for a Durango too) but my husband's truck is paid for and we can afford it. Still, I plan on getting a better rate the next time. Anyone can buy a car but the interest you pay and PAYMENT is HUNDREDS more a month when you have poor credit. There is a site that was very helpful to me in getting our money back on track - myfico.com. Your fico score is used by every lender. If you have a poor credit score, your interest rate and payment is SO much higher than everyone else's. The most important thing is decent housing you can afford. NEVER would I jeopardize the 'warm and dry' factor – don’t ever let that payment be late.
Eris: You look like such a nice guy - and I can tell you love your family. I was again, raised on the water with five boats, had cars given to me as a teen, went to a private school, had a very upscale life growing up. But I went through a time when I was a young adult - my power got cut off, etc. because I was making the same mistakes as you. Now I am not rich, I am not poor, but my husband and I have a nice home (not huge), my kids are dressed very nicely and I can tell you, they do wear SOME Ralph Lauren or Tommy but they ALSO wear Target clothes. It just depends - you have to know what looks nice, it is not all about the label - actually, to well off people too many labels looks like a tacky 'wannabe'. I know lots of very well off people who shop at Target. So don't be ashamed to buy decent things without labels. Your view is a bit off-kilter of what status is. I think as you and Vivian move forward you can change this tide and come out on top. It will make you stronger as a team, to work hard towards this financial health.
Good luck and God Bless,
Leslie
Agreed....
Posted by: shrimpety
Posted on: 2005-01-04 12:25:32
I think there is a middle ground here that Eris can find if he looks around to find a reasonably priced car that he can pay cash for. he doesn't have to buy an old, beat up car that will be embarrasing for him to drive. I sold my 1997 Thunderbird for $5000 last year--it was a wonderful car. I had taken great care of it, was the original owner and was selling it because we had negotiated a tremendous price on a previous model year car that was more practical for our family.Just look around, the answer will come to you.
We are now fairly conservative with our money and could probably buy more expensive things than we do. Sometimes we splurge but only if everything else is taken care of. Bills are paid and we have our savings for the month put away.
Another suggestion is to take advantage of online banking and automatic payments. I was once in a tremendous amount of debt and having preset, automatic payments for three to four times the minimum payment really helped me be more disciplined about ensuring that I met my obligations before having fun. I didn't have the option to not pay it, the money was taken out and the upside was that suddenly the bills were never late. As a result my credit rating went from high risk to exceptional. I was very proud to have made such progress. It took five years to get everything cleaned up but I did it.
In the end, like Dr. PHil says, you would be surprised to know of infrequently people think of you. The people who really matter are your kids, they remember you by your actions, not your belongings. Your kids will thank you for it in the long run.
Posted by: shrimpety
Posted on: 2005-01-04 12:25:32
I think there is a middle ground here that Eris can find if he looks around to find a reasonably priced car that he can pay cash for. he doesn't have to buy an old, beat up car that will be embarrasing for him to drive. I sold my 1997 Thunderbird for $5000 last year--it was a wonderful car. I had taken great care of it, was the original owner and was selling it because we had negotiated a tremendous price on a previous model year car that was more practical for our family.Just look around, the answer will come to you.
We are now fairly conservative with our money and could probably buy more expensive things than we do. Sometimes we splurge but only if everything else is taken care of. Bills are paid and we have our savings for the month put away.
Another suggestion is to take advantage of online banking and automatic payments. I was once in a tremendous amount of debt and having preset, automatic payments for three to four times the minimum payment really helped me be more disciplined about ensuring that I met my obligations before having fun. I didn't have the option to not pay it, the money was taken out and the upside was that suddenly the bills were never late. As a result my credit rating went from high risk to exceptional. I was very proud to have made such progress. It took five years to get everything cleaned up but I did it.
In the end, like Dr. PHil says, you would be surprised to know of infrequently people think of you. The people who really matter are your kids, they remember you by your actions, not your belongings. Your kids will thank you for it in the long run.
Great Advice
Posted by: caribblue
Posted on: 2005-01-09 12:59:09
I agree with the advice that you gave Eris & Vivian. Getting the immediate bills paid is the most important thing. I have been through lay-offs a couple of times in my life--I still managed to keep a roof over my head, and the utilities paid as well. As Dr. Phil stated, people are not going to concern themselves that you wear designer clothes--since Target has come to NYC, and the outer boroughs, that's a great place for all things. I get some of the best grocery deals from Target. For me, designer clothes are nice to look at--usually the price range just doesn't fit me--so I leave them right where I saw them. I do like designer accessories, everynow and then. It is not a priority--and if you know where to go, you can great deals. Shopping is a skill. There is nothing wrong with wanting your family to have the best, but it should be within your means--and sometimes shopping at Target really works. I am single mom, and when my son was growning up, we had some struggles, but we managed. We stayed warm, dry and fed. It is tough with a single income coming in, but it can be done. I really hope that Eris & Vivian re-think and re-structure thier live style--and enjoy life as it is with their children.
Posted by: caribblue
Posted on: 2005-01-09 12:59:09
I agree with the advice that you gave Eris & Vivian. Getting the immediate bills paid is the most important thing. I have been through lay-offs a couple of times in my life--I still managed to keep a roof over my head, and the utilities paid as well. As Dr. Phil stated, people are not going to concern themselves that you wear designer clothes--since Target has come to NYC, and the outer boroughs, that's a great place for all things. I get some of the best grocery deals from Target. For me, designer clothes are nice to look at--usually the price range just doesn't fit me--so I leave them right where I saw them. I do like designer accessories, everynow and then. It is not a priority--and if you know where to go, you can great deals. Shopping is a skill. There is nothing wrong with wanting your family to have the best, but it should be within your means--and sometimes shopping at Target really works. I am single mom, and when my son was growning up, we had some struggles, but we managed. We stayed warm, dry and fed. It is tough with a single income coming in, but it can be done. I really hope that Eris & Vivian re-think and re-structure thier live style--and enjoy life as it is with their children.
praise your husband
Posted by: rdbd1989
Posted on: 2005-01-04 01:34:33
Hi,
It is great that you defend your husband. I think that right there shows your love for him. At least he went with you on the show! That took guts and he was real. There are more of us out here that have made mistakes in finances then not otherwise the bankruptcy rate wouldn't be so high! Take the postive feedback and run with it- release the negitive comments so they don't drag you down. Some of the negatives may be true but it is the way it is said that troubles me. I am glad your home has been saved but even if you'd lost it it's just a thing--- there are worse things to loose such as the life of a child. Take care. rd
Posted by: rdbd1989
Posted on: 2005-01-04 01:34:33
Hi,
It is great that you defend your husband. I think that right there shows your love for him. At least he went with you on the show! That took guts and he was real. There are more of us out here that have made mistakes in finances then not otherwise the bankruptcy rate wouldn't be so high! Take the postive feedback and run with it- release the negitive comments so they don't drag you down. Some of the negatives may be true but it is the way it is said that troubles me. I am glad your home has been saved but even if you'd lost it it's just a thing--- there are worse things to loose such as the life of a child. Take care. rd
Keep Hope Alive
Posted by: missc095
Posted on: 2005-01-04 09:28:58
You're right, everyone has faults but whatever you do don't let that be an excuse for your situation. Your kids could care less about the designer clothes YOU put them in. Keep making strides to do better and before you know it you'll be out of the hole you're in. I encourage BOTH of you to take the advice given and remember "Those that have it don't flaunt it, those that don't have it flaunt it." Everyone wants success but don't try to attain it at the risk of sacrificing your basic needs. Anyone can have a house and a Bentley but the question is, how much are you paying to have it. I encourge you and believe in you that you WILL come out on top. Please keep us posted.
Posted by: missc095
Posted on: 2005-01-04 09:28:58
You're right, everyone has faults but whatever you do don't let that be an excuse for your situation. Your kids could care less about the designer clothes YOU put them in. Keep making strides to do better and before you know it you'll be out of the hole you're in. I encourage BOTH of you to take the advice given and remember "Those that have it don't flaunt it, those that don't have it flaunt it." Everyone wants success but don't try to attain it at the risk of sacrificing your basic needs. Anyone can have a house and a Bentley but the question is, how much are you paying to have it. I encourge you and believe in you that you WILL come out on top. Please keep us posted.
Cousin Teresa - Knock Knock
Posted by: tebmontalv
Posted on: 2005-01-05 21:49:37
I sent an email last night to some of the comments but I think I sent it to the incorrect person, so I hope this is Eris wife Vivian. Part of Eris buying habits is definately hereditary from the Crosswhite's. I am just proud to see that both of you are working on your finances and future. Good Luck and I hope I hear from you all I now live in Broomfield, Co
so please email me at tebmontalvo@comcast.net
Love,
T
Posted by: tebmontalv
Posted on: 2005-01-05 21:49:37
I sent an email last night to some of the comments but I think I sent it to the incorrect person, so I hope this is Eris wife Vivian. Part of Eris buying habits is definately hereditary from the Crosswhite's. I am just proud to see that both of you are working on your finances and future. Good Luck and I hope I hear from you all I now live in Broomfield, Co
so please email me at tebmontalvo@comcast.net
Love,
T
Keep Your Focus
Posted by: annkeeth
Posted on: 2005-01-06 10:28:32
Vivan,
Keep your focus on the goal at hand and try not to let the white noise of the negative comments get you down. Remember, if you didn't want to change, you would never have gone on the Dr. Phil show. I think you should be commended for sharing your mistakes and willingness to seek help. Best of luck.
Posted by: annkeeth
Posted on: 2005-01-06 10:28:32
Vivan,
Keep your focus on the goal at hand and try not to let the white noise of the negative comments get you down. Remember, if you didn't want to change, you would never have gone on the Dr. Phil show. I think you should be commended for sharing your mistakes and willingness to seek help. Best of luck.
Please GET REAL Vivian
Posted by: typh00nz
Posted on: 2005-01-07 09:59:36
Vivian, you know you and Eris have more troubles than you can handle. It is just like Dr. Phil said, that even if he gave you $30,000 you would just foolishly spend the money on a new motorcycle or other frivolous items. I commend you both for acknowledging your difficulties, but you have not decided to "get real." This is the old story about repeating dysfunctional patterns of behavior over and over that have never worked for you before and never will. You need to fully embrace this fact, and make the necessary changes. Eris needs to grow up. It is not cool to be bankrupt, not pay the rent on time, and yet be obsessed with the finest clothes for his back. You already used your "get out of jail free card," so stop what you are doing and CHANGE. You need to keep a tight, proper, effective budget. Necessities like rent, utilities, and food need to come first. Of course, sell the motorcycle too!
Posted by: typh00nz
Posted on: 2005-01-07 09:59:36
Vivian, you know you and Eris have more troubles than you can handle. It is just like Dr. Phil said, that even if he gave you $30,000 you would just foolishly spend the money on a new motorcycle or other frivolous items. I commend you both for acknowledging your difficulties, but you have not decided to "get real." This is the old story about repeating dysfunctional patterns of behavior over and over that have never worked for you before and never will. You need to fully embrace this fact, and make the necessary changes. Eris needs to grow up. It is not cool to be bankrupt, not pay the rent on time, and yet be obsessed with the finest clothes for his back. You already used your "get out of jail free card," so stop what you are doing and CHANGE. You need to keep a tight, proper, effective budget. Necessities like rent, utilities, and food need to come first. Of course, sell the motorcycle too!
GET YOUR PRIORITIES STRAIGHT
Posted by: s2king
Posted on: 2005-01-10 08:53:55
Vivian:
I'm not sure what you and your husband are thinking of, but you really, really need to get your priorities straight. You guys seem to be obsessed with "status" and giving the impression to everyone about how "successful" you are. This is coming at the expense of the basic necessities of life for you and your children. Anyone who puts designer clothes BEFORE food, shelter and the hydro bill, is not being "successful", but rather irresponsible and foolish.
Your husband is arrogant to the 10th degree. He apparently doesn't give a damn if the hydro or cable gets cut, as long as he's got his Polo shirt on and and go for a ride on his expensive motorcycle. What the hell IS he thinking of??
Everyone wants to live "the good life", but the bottom line is: you're living way beyond your means----end of story. You guys have an obligation to your children, not to Ralph Lauren or Lexus. Between the two of you, you at least seem to want to change the situation, your husband does not.
In addition to the suggestions that you guys sell the motorcycle and the Lexus, I would also like to suggest that you try shopping for your clothes at second hand stores. Don't think that it's just junk you get there. I've seen designer clothes there for 1/10th of the price you would normally pay. My sister got an Anne Klein black linen suit at a second hand store for $20.00!! It would have cost her $800.00 in a regular store. It had never been worn and it looks fantastic. I would strongly recommend that you guys do the same. You wouldn't believe how much money you can save by doing this.
It is SO easy to get yourself into debt these days. I'm not married, and I don't have anyone to pay my bills for me, so I don't have all the fine things in life. I also only owe $55.00 on my Visa bill and all my bills are paid on time. Yes I have to make sacrifices, but that's what builds character and makes us appreciate things. If you're buying your kids designer clothes when they're 8 or 10 years old, what are they going to expect by the time they're 16?? If your kids never have to be told "no, you can't have that", then how are you preparing them for adulthood? If you don't discipline yourself, then how do you expect to teach them self-discipline, saving money or self-respect?
Think about it. It's their future too.
Posted by: s2king
Posted on: 2005-01-10 08:53:55
Vivian:
I'm not sure what you and your husband are thinking of, but you really, really need to get your priorities straight. You guys seem to be obsessed with "status" and giving the impression to everyone about how "successful" you are. This is coming at the expense of the basic necessities of life for you and your children. Anyone who puts designer clothes BEFORE food, shelter and the hydro bill, is not being "successful", but rather irresponsible and foolish.
Your husband is arrogant to the 10th degree. He apparently doesn't give a damn if the hydro or cable gets cut, as long as he's got his Polo shirt on and and go for a ride on his expensive motorcycle. What the hell IS he thinking of??
Everyone wants to live "the good life", but the bottom line is: you're living way beyond your means----end of story. You guys have an obligation to your children, not to Ralph Lauren or Lexus. Between the two of you, you at least seem to want to change the situation, your husband does not.
In addition to the suggestions that you guys sell the motorcycle and the Lexus, I would also like to suggest that you try shopping for your clothes at second hand stores. Don't think that it's just junk you get there. I've seen designer clothes there for 1/10th of the price you would normally pay. My sister got an Anne Klein black linen suit at a second hand store for $20.00!! It would have cost her $800.00 in a regular store. It had never been worn and it looks fantastic. I would strongly recommend that you guys do the same. You wouldn't believe how much money you can save by doing this.
It is SO easy to get yourself into debt these days. I'm not married, and I don't have anyone to pay my bills for me, so I don't have all the fine things in life. I also only owe $55.00 on my Visa bill and all my bills are paid on time. Yes I have to make sacrifices, but that's what builds character and makes us appreciate things. If you're buying your kids designer clothes when they're 8 or 10 years old, what are they going to expect by the time they're 16?? If your kids never have to be told "no, you can't have that", then how are you preparing them for adulthood? If you don't discipline yourself, then how do you expect to teach them self-discipline, saving money or self-respect?
Think about it. It's their future too.
GLITZ AND GLAMOUR (aka) ERIS AND VIVIAN
Posted by: clksk123
Posted on: 2005-01-12 09:44:01
WHAT A DISGRACE. They actually showed their faces on national tv. I feel sorry for people who think they have to put on appearances to say "look at me over here". Who cares what you have on or what car are you driving? I sure don't. I'm not impressed. If you have the means to live a flashy lifestyle and you aren't dependant on anyone for your daily necessities, go for it. But as for that couple who made fools of themselves (eris and vivian) and (by the way perpetuated sterotypes of black people)it's time to set some priorities and change your mind set. Do you own your home? Do you have a savings account? Do you have medical insurance/Life insurance? Do you have goals other than getting the latest polo shirt that comes out? Those are what we call priorities. I hope that couple comes to these message boards to read these notes that were written especially for them. How could you live in someone elses home, not pay them rent and go out and shop like you are jay-z and beyonce? Have some pride about yourselves. I felt like you came on national tv and embarrased yourselves. You made yourselves look so juvenile, like teenagers living with their parents. I bet your credit is wrecked too. Hope you get your act together before you have to inconvienence your relatives by asking them if you and your family of 6 can sqeeze in with them because that is where you are headed as soon as your landlord watches the show. I wish I knew who they were because I tape the dr. phil show everyday and I would give them a copy. I would say look here at the reason "LATEST AND GREATEST" CAN'T PAY YOU YOUR RENT ON TIME!
-signed GET REAL
Posted by: clksk123
Posted on: 2005-01-12 09:44:01
WHAT A DISGRACE. They actually showed their faces on national tv. I feel sorry for people who think they have to put on appearances to say "look at me over here". Who cares what you have on or what car are you driving? I sure don't. I'm not impressed. If you have the means to live a flashy lifestyle and you aren't dependant on anyone for your daily necessities, go for it. But as for that couple who made fools of themselves (eris and vivian) and (by the way perpetuated sterotypes of black people)it's time to set some priorities and change your mind set. Do you own your home? Do you have a savings account? Do you have medical insurance/Life insurance? Do you have goals other than getting the latest polo shirt that comes out? Those are what we call priorities. I hope that couple comes to these message boards to read these notes that were written especially for them. How could you live in someone elses home, not pay them rent and go out and shop like you are jay-z and beyonce? Have some pride about yourselves. I felt like you came on national tv and embarrased yourselves. You made yourselves look so juvenile, like teenagers living with their parents. I bet your credit is wrecked too. Hope you get your act together before you have to inconvienence your relatives by asking them if you and your family of 6 can sqeeze in with them because that is where you are headed as soon as your landlord watches the show. I wish I knew who they were because I tape the dr. phil show everyday and I would give them a copy. I would say look here at the reason "LATEST AND GREATEST" CAN'T PAY YOU YOUR RENT ON TIME!
-signed GET REAL
I Agree, Take Heed To The Advice.
Posted by: enimary
Posted on: 2005-01-03 22:28:13
I have never been a big spender of money, or one to really like shopping. I agree, you don't have to wear the labels to show your worth or drive the big name cars. I am retired now, but have always tried to show my children, that the tags did not matter and by wearing designer clothing/shoes they were marketing for companies and received no pay for their efforts. When they were younger, if they wanted designer wear, I promised to pay a certain amount and they would have to pay the rest. My kids learned that the designer sneakers got dirty and wore out just like the more economical shoe.
My husband and I own a Tahoe (97) a Ford Explorer (98) and a Toyota Van (85, the old kind). We use the Toyota as our run about for great gas mileage, the other cars for long trips where we need the comfort.
After retiring, I decided to work from home to supplement my retirement income and I found I could work for companies from the comfort of my home, endorsing their products or services and they pay me. I don't sell, stock products or make deliveries and I absolutely love what I do. I work part time, with my laptop computer and take my work with me if I so choose.
Learning to be a frugal does not mean you are cheap. It means you know how to budget and spend wisely, providing the needs for yourself and your family.
Lots of Luck.
Posted by: enimary
Posted on: 2005-01-03 22:28:13
I have never been a big spender of money, or one to really like shopping. I agree, you don't have to wear the labels to show your worth or drive the big name cars. I am retired now, but have always tried to show my children, that the tags did not matter and by wearing designer clothing/shoes they were marketing for companies and received no pay for their efforts. When they were younger, if they wanted designer wear, I promised to pay a certain amount and they would have to pay the rest. My kids learned that the designer sneakers got dirty and wore out just like the more economical shoe.
My husband and I own a Tahoe (97) a Ford Explorer (98) and a Toyota Van (85, the old kind). We use the Toyota as our run about for great gas mileage, the other cars for long trips where we need the comfort.
After retiring, I decided to work from home to supplement my retirement income and I found I could work for companies from the comfort of my home, endorsing their products or services and they pay me. I don't sell, stock products or make deliveries and I absolutely love what I do. I work part time, with my laptop computer and take my work with me if I so choose.
Learning to be a frugal does not mean you are cheap. It means you know how to budget and spend wisely, providing the needs for yourself and your family.
Lots of Luck.
thrifty stuff
Posted by: pamskin
Posted on: 2005-01-03 23:44:47
I agree with you and I too have raised my two daughters to be thrifty with money. I take them to the thrift shops and they get designer stuff there all the time for a couple dollars. They never get upset when we can not afford to buy everything. They never have since I never raised them that way.I have everything I want in life and so does my family and we buy most everything we have second hand !! Excellent quality things for a 1/4 of the cost. I would like to ask anyone out there though, Dr Phil mentioned on the show about the people selling the new cars and buying a used car. Well, how do you pay off a loan for a new car when you won't get as much for it to pay off the loan ?? I do not see it as possible. I would like to know as I have someone that really needs the advice and I have no answer on this one???
Posted by: pamskin
Posted on: 2005-01-03 23:44:47
I agree with you and I too have raised my two daughters to be thrifty with money. I take them to the thrift shops and they get designer stuff there all the time for a couple dollars. They never get upset when we can not afford to buy everything. They never have since I never raised them that way.I have everything I want in life and so does my family and we buy most everything we have second hand !! Excellent quality things for a 1/4 of the cost. I would like to ask anyone out there though, Dr Phil mentioned on the show about the people selling the new cars and buying a used car. Well, how do you pay off a loan for a new car when you won't get as much for it to pay off the loan ?? I do not see it as possible. I would like to know as I have someone that really needs the advice and I have no answer on this one???
new car sale
Posted by: rdbd1989
Posted on: 2005-01-04 00:46:43
Hi I was wondering if you got an answer to your question about selling a new car and being able to pay off the loan since all new cars are upside down when driven off the lot unless you put down a sum of money? I am wondering the same thing. I do know that if you sale your house and do not get enough to pay it off the mortg. company will come after you for the rest of the balance. They can garnish wages and bankruptcy may be the only protection. At any rate I would like an answer to that question too so if you get one send it to me at blubird@kc.rr.com
thanks!
Posted by: rdbd1989
Posted on: 2005-01-04 00:46:43
Hi I was wondering if you got an answer to your question about selling a new car and being able to pay off the loan since all new cars are upside down when driven off the lot unless you put down a sum of money? I am wondering the same thing. I do know that if you sale your house and do not get enough to pay it off the mortg. company will come after you for the rest of the balance. They can garnish wages and bankruptcy may be the only protection. At any rate I would like an answer to that question too so if you get one send it to me at blubird@kc.rr.com
thanks!
