01/28 Adoption Controversies
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | next » | lastHeartbreaking!!!
Posted by: stationtn
Posted on: 2005-01-26 22:44:44
I can not imagine what it would do to parents to have a child taken away from them. It is wrong and the courts should stop this insanity. I am surprised that anyone would ever consider adopting if there is a chance that this will happen. I am happy that Dawn and Gene got another baby but that will never take away the pain and anguish of losing the first one.
Posted by: stationtn
Posted on: 2005-01-26 22:44:44
I can not imagine what it would do to parents to have a child taken away from them. It is wrong and the courts should stop this insanity. I am surprised that anyone would ever consider adopting if there is a chance that this will happen. I am happy that Dawn and Gene got another baby but that will never take away the pain and anguish of losing the first one.
Posted by: jettav
Posted on: 2005-01-27 13:12:22
some laws really suck and that is a phrase I very rarely use. but this family raised this child from birth and now it is being a ripped away from them, how sad that the courts can step right in and take a child away from the family that he only knows as his, it's not like this family only had him for a couple of weeks or whatever, they raised him from birth. Children are not toys that you can just throw away, give away, or whatever then decide to take it back, what selfish people they were to be so willing to break up a family, the ONLY family that this little boy ever knew. Once a child has been adopted then the case should be closed! and even the courts should not be a loud to break up families. This has happened more then this one time in our society, no wonder people go out of the country to adopt.
HIGH CONFLICT PERSONALITIES
Posted by: anon_slc
Posted on: 2005-01-28 17:58:47
Any viewer involved in a high conflict legal dispute may be interested in reading:
High Conflict Personalities: Understanding and Resolving Their Costly (Legal) Disputes by William A. Eddy
The author explains the dynamics and strange logic of four types of Personality Disorders which appear in disputes as High Conflict Personalities.
Posted by: anon_slc
Posted on: 2005-01-28 17:58:47
Any viewer involved in a high conflict legal dispute may be interested in reading:
High Conflict Personalities: Understanding and Resolving Their Costly (Legal) Disputes by William A. Eddy
The author explains the dynamics and strange logic of four types of Personality Disorders which appear in disputes as High Conflict Personalities.
Amanda
Posted by: jenkneem
Posted on: 2005-01-28 19:10:08
Amanda made a terrible mistake giving up her son. Why did Amanda get into a Domestic Violence relationship with the father of her son? What kind of "mother" was Rosemary to teach her daughter that it was ok for a man to beat her? Why didn't Rosemary teach Amanda to have more self worth? Why would Amanda say to Dawn "I had this baby for you?" Maybe she so beaten down by the people who were supposed to love her in her life that she felt she didn't even deserve to enjoy the precious gift of her own baby. Someonelse deserved to have her baby. How could Rosemary betray her own daughter this way? I see alot of ignorance about Domestic Violence in this story.
When Bridget Marks was hysterical in front of her children they wanted to crucify her but in this case it's ok. Amazing.
Posted by: jenkneem
Posted on: 2005-01-28 19:10:08
Amanda made a terrible mistake giving up her son. Why did Amanda get into a Domestic Violence relationship with the father of her son? What kind of "mother" was Rosemary to teach her daughter that it was ok for a man to beat her? Why didn't Rosemary teach Amanda to have more self worth? Why would Amanda say to Dawn "I had this baby for you?" Maybe she so beaten down by the people who were supposed to love her in her life that she felt she didn't even deserve to enjoy the precious gift of her own baby. Someonelse deserved to have her baby. How could Rosemary betray her own daughter this way? I see alot of ignorance about Domestic Violence in this story.
When Bridget Marks was hysterical in front of her children they wanted to crucify her but in this case it's ok. Amazing.
Domestic Violence
Posted by: alaska001
Posted on: 2005-01-28 22:14:13
I took a Domestic Violence (DV) class. It is a common problem for society to blame the victim for the DV. Perhaps it would be wiser to blame the batterer for the DV.
Posted by: alaska001
Posted on: 2005-01-28 22:14:13
I took a Domestic Violence (DV) class. It is a common problem for society to blame the victim for the DV. Perhaps it would be wiser to blame the batterer for the DV.
DOMESTIC/FAMILY VIOLENCE - BREAK THE CYCLE
Posted by: anon_slc
Posted on: 2005-01-30 12:09:16
One of my favorite books on the subject of the cycle of domestic/family violence:
Treating Borderline States in Marriage: Dealing With Oppositionalism, Ruthless Aggression, and Severe Resistance by Charles C. McCormack
Inspired and inspiring, this important book should be required reading for any practitioner who works with personality-disordered patients.
Posted by: anon_slc
Posted on: 2005-01-30 12:09:16
One of my favorite books on the subject of the cycle of domestic/family violence:
Treating Borderline States in Marriage: Dealing With Oppositionalism, Ruthless Aggression, and Severe Resistance by Charles C. McCormack
Inspired and inspiring, this important book should be required reading for any practitioner who works with personality-disordered patients.
Circle of Poo
Posted by: jenkneem
Posted on: 2005-01-30 17:26:19
I saw this short clip from South Park that I think can really help illustrate the Cycle of Abuse.
The clip is a caricature of the Lion King's "Circle of Life" Anyone who has seen the Lion King knows that Mufasa was very proud of his son Simba and he told him "son someday you will be the King" When Simba was born he proudly held up his son for the whole kingdom to see. He was proud of his son and he told him someday he would be a great king. Simba eventually became the Lion King.
In this South Park clip the Father and son are pieces of poo. The Father poo holds up his son in front of everyone in the land and shows them that his son is a piece of poo. He tells his son he is poo. His son becomes a piece of poo.
Most people who come from good homes with loving parents are born into the Circle of Life.
For the rest of us, we are born into the Circle of Poo. Our parents teach us we are poo. We go out into the world and we expect to be treated like poo. For girls who's mother's teach them they are poo, they find men who also treat them like poo. They are trapped in the Circle of Poo.
Posted by: jenkneem
Posted on: 2005-01-30 17:26:19
I saw this short clip from South Park that I think can really help illustrate the Cycle of Abuse.
The clip is a caricature of the Lion King's "Circle of Life" Anyone who has seen the Lion King knows that Mufasa was very proud of his son Simba and he told him "son someday you will be the King" When Simba was born he proudly held up his son for the whole kingdom to see. He was proud of his son and he told him someday he would be a great king. Simba eventually became the Lion King.
In this South Park clip the Father and son are pieces of poo. The Father poo holds up his son in front of everyone in the land and shows them that his son is a piece of poo. He tells his son he is poo. His son becomes a piece of poo.
Most people who come from good homes with loving parents are born into the Circle of Life.
For the rest of us, we are born into the Circle of Poo. Our parents teach us we are poo. We go out into the world and we expect to be treated like poo. For girls who's mother's teach them they are poo, they find men who also treat them like poo. They are trapped in the Circle of Poo.
PLEASE BREAK YOUR CIRCLE
Posted by: pileofbone
Posted on: 2005-01-31 11:49:14
I hope that you can break the Circle. There are many out there who would like to help you to do just that. I would be a shame to perpetuate it. You deserve to be in the Circle of Life as do all of us. As someone who can relate well to the circle that you have endured, I can assure you that breaking out of the circle of poo is well worth the fight. Take care.
Posted by: pileofbone
Posted on: 2005-01-31 11:49:14
I hope that you can break the Circle. There are many out there who would like to help you to do just that. I would be a shame to perpetuate it. You deserve to be in the Circle of Life as do all of us. As someone who can relate well to the circle that you have endured, I can assure you that breaking out of the circle of poo is well worth the fight. Take care.
Circle of Dyslexia
Posted by: jenkneem
Posted on: 2005-02-14 16:04:40
I believe I am in the circle of dyslexia. I just am figuring this out. It took me 33 years to figure it out. I believe my Dad is dyslexic. Well that is what happens when children get cut off from their biological roots.
Posted by: jenkneem
Posted on: 2005-02-14 16:04:40
I believe I am in the circle of dyslexia. I just am figuring this out. It took me 33 years to figure it out. I believe my Dad is dyslexic. Well that is what happens when children get cut off from their biological roots.
The Big Bam Theory
Posted by: jenkneem
Posted on: 2005-02-15 10:07:17
The root of all my troubles has been as simple as the inability to process and use the English language. It impairs all your relationships, education and job abilities. My theory is that the source of modern social problems starts with the inability to make use of our language. Maybe we could try hieroglyphics :o)
Posted by: jenkneem
Posted on: 2005-02-15 10:07:17
The root of all my troubles has been as simple as the inability to process and use the English language. It impairs all your relationships, education and job abilities. My theory is that the source of modern social problems starts with the inability to make use of our language. Maybe we could try hieroglyphics :o)
THE LAW
Posted by: rjoey660
Posted on: 2005-02-01 13:12:24
The problem in many of these cases isn't the law, it's the fact that there is a law that gives birthparents the right to change their mind within six months and the adoptive parents prolong the fight.
This isn't right for the child and his/her interests to be in the middle of a custody battle. Both sets of parents love the child obviously, but the birthparents have that right up to the first six months and I feel adoptive parents shouldn't fight it, causing these protracted battles.
While there may be circumstances at play in this case, (aka, the birthmother favoring the adoption), the birthfather petitioned when Evan was only two months old.....why has the fight been allowed to continue and why have judges continued to leave Evan with his adoptive parents.......we only know the tip of the iceberg. How can we comment?
My point, I think once a birthparent comes forward within the appropriate timeframe, unless found to be unfit, there should be no question and no protracted fights for custody.
Posted by: rjoey660
Posted on: 2005-02-01 13:12:24
The problem in many of these cases isn't the law, it's the fact that there is a law that gives birthparents the right to change their mind within six months and the adoptive parents prolong the fight.
This isn't right for the child and his/her interests to be in the middle of a custody battle. Both sets of parents love the child obviously, but the birthparents have that right up to the first six months and I feel adoptive parents shouldn't fight it, causing these protracted battles.
While there may be circumstances at play in this case, (aka, the birthmother favoring the adoption), the birthfather petitioned when Evan was only two months old.....why has the fight been allowed to continue and why have judges continued to leave Evan with his adoptive parents.......we only know the tip of the iceberg. How can we comment?
My point, I think once a birthparent comes forward within the appropriate timeframe, unless found to be unfit, there should be no question and no protracted fights for custody.
Incensitive to say the least
Posted by: hosleman
Posted on: 2005-02-05 08:30:54
I COMPLETELY disagree and can tell you that you ARE NOT an adoptive parent as I am. My son is only 2 months old and I WORSHIP him as all adoptive parents do. Most adoptive parents hold their children in a higher regard than most because they know what it is like to be WITHOUT children... and when the father does not sign the forms served to claim custody in the 30 day window allowed by the law, they ARE FOREGOING their rights to the child. END OF STORY! We can not force a prospective father to acknowledge paternity, so can not get signatures in many instances but that should not keep adoptive parents from sleeping at night and stories like this do. It was A YEAR after the birth of the child that the father's paternity was confirmed according to what I heard on the show and that is UNCALLED for. We need to change the laws to protect adoptive parents and children.
Posted by: hosleman
Posted on: 2005-02-05 08:30:54
I COMPLETELY disagree and can tell you that you ARE NOT an adoptive parent as I am. My son is only 2 months old and I WORSHIP him as all adoptive parents do. Most adoptive parents hold their children in a higher regard than most because they know what it is like to be WITHOUT children... and when the father does not sign the forms served to claim custody in the 30 day window allowed by the law, they ARE FOREGOING their rights to the child. END OF STORY! We can not force a prospective father to acknowledge paternity, so can not get signatures in many instances but that should not keep adoptive parents from sleeping at night and stories like this do. It was A YEAR after the birth of the child that the father's paternity was confirmed according to what I heard on the show and that is UNCALLED for. We need to change the laws to protect adoptive parents and children.
Attention Classmates
Posted by: jenkneem
Posted on: 2005-02-06 17:19:41
I would like to recommend a research project for everyone. Check out the movie I AM SAM with Sean Penn and Michelle Pfieffer. It is an EXCELLENT movie and it just might change the way you think about all custody proceedings. It was on TNT last night and they might be playing it again. Check it out and bring your tissues!
Posted by: jenkneem
Posted on: 2005-02-06 17:19:41
I would like to recommend a research project for everyone. Check out the movie I AM SAM with Sean Penn and Michelle Pfieffer. It is an EXCELLENT movie and it just might change the way you think about all custody proceedings. It was on TNT last night and they might be playing it again. Check it out and bring your tissues!
Law is the problem
Posted by: jenkneem
Posted on: 2005-02-06 17:19:41
The laws are the problem. Nobody on God's green Earth should have the right to come between a parent and their child. Period .. end of story.
The rights of a parent to it's own flesh and blood child is not a tangible thing that can be thrown out in the trash. Read the Constitution.
Posted by: jenkneem
Posted on: 2005-02-06 17:19:41
The laws are the problem. Nobody on God's green Earth should have the right to come between a parent and their child. Period .. end of story.
The rights of a parent to it's own flesh and blood child is not a tangible thing that can be thrown out in the trash. Read the Constitution.
Another baby??
Posted by: carseatmom
Posted on: 2005-01-28 11:39:29
Dawn and Gene do not have another baby. Little Evan is "thier" only child. I doubt that they will ever have another, sadly.
Posted by: carseatmom
Posted on: 2005-01-28 11:39:29
Dawn and Gene do not have another baby. Little Evan is "thier" only child. I doubt that they will ever have another, sadly.
Angers and saddens me!!
Posted by: tanyaf75
Posted on: 2005-01-28 16:41:10
This whole situation angers and saddens me for Evan and Dawn and Gene. Florida courts are notorious for not doing what is best for the child, but what is best for the biological mother. I have had first hand experience with the Florida Court system in regards to custody of my "step" son. Not the same type of situation, but just as frustrating. It is aweful that they see it more important to reunite the biological family rather than tend to the emotional needs of a helpless child. Florida family law needs a huge overhaul!! I will keep my prayers going for this sweet little boy and his "real not birth" parents!! That little boy deserves a better chance at his life than being ripped from the only home he has ever known. Maybe someone out there that watched this show today will be able to help turn the Florida Court system around. I was very pleased to see a Florida State Representative there backing the Scott's up. It is a wonderful thing that he put in an appeal with Jeb Bush. I will pray he listens to that. I, too, went to Governor Jeb Bush in my plea for my "step" son and got nothing, but then I am just an average joe; whereas, the representative, well is a representative. Maybe that is where I should have started.
As for little Christian, that is just as sad. How aweful of his biomom to just do that do him and his siblings. It is like she wants some time away from the kids, dumps them with other people to babysit for free, feed and clothe them and then when they have all that, she decides okay I think I will do this again until I feel like partying and having my free time. What a disgusting way to have your cake and eat it too. It aggravates me that there isn't anything that can be done in this case. It is even more difficult than the case with Baby Evan. Native American Law is rarely set aside, even for the Constitution of the United States. Even IF the courts grant that Christian stays with his adoptive parents all his biomom has to do is take Christian to a reservation where she will automatically fall under the protection of the tribe, and can keep the child there without ever facing charges. According to Native American culture and law the children aren't just the children of the biological parents, but the children of the tribe. I don't see a happy ending in this story at all. I feel heartbroken for him.
My thoughts, prayers and cyber hugs are here for these sweet little boys and their families (the adoptive ones!!)
Tanya
Posted by: tanyaf75
Posted on: 2005-01-28 16:41:10
This whole situation angers and saddens me for Evan and Dawn and Gene. Florida courts are notorious for not doing what is best for the child, but what is best for the biological mother. I have had first hand experience with the Florida Court system in regards to custody of my "step" son. Not the same type of situation, but just as frustrating. It is aweful that they see it more important to reunite the biological family rather than tend to the emotional needs of a helpless child. Florida family law needs a huge overhaul!! I will keep my prayers going for this sweet little boy and his "real not birth" parents!! That little boy deserves a better chance at his life than being ripped from the only home he has ever known. Maybe someone out there that watched this show today will be able to help turn the Florida Court system around. I was very pleased to see a Florida State Representative there backing the Scott's up. It is a wonderful thing that he put in an appeal with Jeb Bush. I will pray he listens to that. I, too, went to Governor Jeb Bush in my plea for my "step" son and got nothing, but then I am just an average joe; whereas, the representative, well is a representative. Maybe that is where I should have started.
As for little Christian, that is just as sad. How aweful of his biomom to just do that do him and his siblings. It is like she wants some time away from the kids, dumps them with other people to babysit for free, feed and clothe them and then when they have all that, she decides okay I think I will do this again until I feel like partying and having my free time. What a disgusting way to have your cake and eat it too. It aggravates me that there isn't anything that can be done in this case. It is even more difficult than the case with Baby Evan. Native American Law is rarely set aside, even for the Constitution of the United States. Even IF the courts grant that Christian stays with his adoptive parents all his biomom has to do is take Christian to a reservation where she will automatically fall under the protection of the tribe, and can keep the child there without ever facing charges. According to Native American culture and law the children aren't just the children of the biological parents, but the children of the tribe. I don't see a happy ending in this story at all. I feel heartbroken for him.
My thoughts, prayers and cyber hugs are here for these sweet little boys and their families (the adoptive ones!!)
Tanya
It's not just Fl law, it's AZ as well.
Posted by: karenlee07
Posted on: 2005-01-28 18:16:50
My husband and myself are in the final stages of adopting a boy here in AZ. After 13months of being in our home the birth mother is contesting.
Posted by: karenlee07
Posted on: 2005-01-28 18:16:50
My husband and myself are in the final stages of adopting a boy here in AZ. After 13months of being in our home the birth mother is contesting.
Florida State Rep
Posted by: jenkneem
Posted on: 2005-01-28 19:12:43
I am surprised and disheartened by the personal opinions made by the Florida State Representative.
Posted by: jenkneem
Posted on: 2005-01-28 19:12:43
I am surprised and disheartened by the personal opinions made by the Florida State Representative.
I ask you this
Posted by: tanyaf75
Posted on: 2005-01-29 09:43:37
Have you ever had a child ripped away by a moronic judge, that depsite what is best for the child, ripped that child out of your stable home to be placed in a home where they a) didn't know or b) there was proven abuse. Obviously not. The representative is doing his job, REPRESENTING the people whose voice, otherwise, might not be heard. My "step" son was sexually, physically and emotionally abused. There was proof, there was expert opinion, but in the interest of reuniting him with his abuser/biomom, he ignored the evidence and ripped him out of our home where he had been receiving counseling and blossoming as a happy "normal" child. Though these bioparents haven't proven themselves as abusers in the traditional sense, they are abusing, and the judge is aiding them, this child mentally. I have never heard of a more ridiculous bash on a government official. I wish I had one person helping us out that way so that our son wouldn't have had to endure the things he had for another year. We now have him in our custody and parental rights of biomom have been terminated, in a sense. Again the REPRESENTATIVE was doing his job by REPRESENTING the Scott's. I am proud of him. These bioparents ARE inflicting emotional damage onto this child. I guarantee, he will have serious issues if he isn't getting help, which I doubt that he truly is. Another side note on the Florida Courts, they don't see to it the children are getting COURT ORDERED counseling. My son's biomom was also COURT ORDERED to get my son counseling for him while he was residing with her, she took him ONE time and then NEVER again. And if anyone thinks Florida's children's services will get involved and do what is right....wrong!! I have dealt with them as well. Despite a counselor and another child protection agency proving abuse against my son's biomom, the ones in Florida accused me of trying to take the child to hurt the biomom. Florida child protection is worse than their courts if you can believe it. So if you are wondering why the representative stepped in and is trying to help the Scott's, it's because NO ONE ELSE is.
Tanya
Posted by: tanyaf75
Posted on: 2005-01-29 09:43:37
Have you ever had a child ripped away by a moronic judge, that depsite what is best for the child, ripped that child out of your stable home to be placed in a home where they a) didn't know or b) there was proven abuse. Obviously not. The representative is doing his job, REPRESENTING the people whose voice, otherwise, might not be heard. My "step" son was sexually, physically and emotionally abused. There was proof, there was expert opinion, but in the interest of reuniting him with his abuser/biomom, he ignored the evidence and ripped him out of our home where he had been receiving counseling and blossoming as a happy "normal" child. Though these bioparents haven't proven themselves as abusers in the traditional sense, they are abusing, and the judge is aiding them, this child mentally. I have never heard of a more ridiculous bash on a government official. I wish I had one person helping us out that way so that our son wouldn't have had to endure the things he had for another year. We now have him in our custody and parental rights of biomom have been terminated, in a sense. Again the REPRESENTATIVE was doing his job by REPRESENTING the Scott's. I am proud of him. These bioparents ARE inflicting emotional damage onto this child. I guarantee, he will have serious issues if he isn't getting help, which I doubt that he truly is. Another side note on the Florida Courts, they don't see to it the children are getting COURT ORDERED counseling. My son's biomom was also COURT ORDERED to get my son counseling for him while he was residing with her, she took him ONE time and then NEVER again. And if anyone thinks Florida's children's services will get involved and do what is right....wrong!! I have dealt with them as well. Despite a counselor and another child protection agency proving abuse against my son's biomom, the ones in Florida accused me of trying to take the child to hurt the biomom. Florida child protection is worse than their courts if you can believe it. So if you are wondering why the representative stepped in and is trying to help the Scott's, it's because NO ONE ELSE is.
Tanya
Rep. Stan Jordan
Posted by: jenkneem
Posted on: 2005-01-29 12:38:12
With all due respect to Stan Jordan, he is a representative of the people. What do the people know? Mr Jordan seems like he has a good heart and is acting on what he feels is in the child's best interests. How does he know what is in Evan's best interest? The best interests standard is subject to be interpreted by anyone who comes down the pike. It is a very gray concept in Family Law. There is no consistency with the best interests standard.
The best interests standard is like going to Burger King where you can have it your way. Yes, I would like my burger with pickles, lettuce, onions and a sesame seed bun. Thank you.
I don't think adoptions should be closed anymore.
Did you see the movie I am Sam with Shawn Penn? That was a great movie. The birth father was mentally retarded/limited. He struggled to take care of his daughter because of his limitations. There were some problems which caused his daughter to be taken away and put up for adoption. The adoptive Mother was very cruel towards Sam and wanted to shut him out but over time she opened up her heart and decided they could work together and include him in his daughter's life. I think The birth parents should always be included and supported. There needs more progressive open-hearted ways of handling child custody.
I am going to pray that Governor Jeb Bush will make the right decision.
Posted by: jenkneem
Posted on: 2005-01-29 12:38:12
With all due respect to Stan Jordan, he is a representative of the people. What do the people know? Mr Jordan seems like he has a good heart and is acting on what he feels is in the child's best interests. How does he know what is in Evan's best interest? The best interests standard is subject to be interpreted by anyone who comes down the pike. It is a very gray concept in Family Law. There is no consistency with the best interests standard.
The best interests standard is like going to Burger King where you can have it your way. Yes, I would like my burger with pickles, lettuce, onions and a sesame seed bun. Thank you.
I don't think adoptions should be closed anymore.
Did you see the movie I am Sam with Shawn Penn? That was a great movie. The birth father was mentally retarded/limited. He struggled to take care of his daughter because of his limitations. There were some problems which caused his daughter to be taken away and put up for adoption. The adoptive Mother was very cruel towards Sam and wanted to shut him out but over time she opened up her heart and decided they could work together and include him in his daughter's life. I think The birth parents should always be included and supported. There needs more progressive open-hearted ways of handling child custody.
I am going to pray that Governor Jeb Bush will make the right decision.
