07/08 'My Life Is a Mess'
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Posted by: queentween
Posted on: 2005-02-24 16:59:03
I am the worst housekeeper. I hate it- I have a ton of other things I would rather do than clean house. While the state of my home is not life threatening, I hate to clean, and don't even like having a cleaning lady. I have a 2 year old and a 4 year old, and we would rather play than pick up, but we do. I love antiques, toys, books, costumes, play-doh, and animals. Despite this, with a purchase of a Dyson vacuum, and having cleaning supplies on hand, I have begun a cleaning regimine which has been going rather well, despite the fact that I am pooped( My husband is stationed away and comes home one weekend a month, plus I run a business out of the house, in addition to the 2 kids at home full time, plus volunteer work.) I can sympathize with EVERYONE who gets overwhelmed by cleaning. Don't let others make you feel badly because you have a cleaning disability. I will have you know that my house does get more visitors than any in the neighborhood, maybe because my family is fun, and the coffeepot is always on, or maybe because people stop by to say "Well, my house looks bad, but its not as bad as hers!!" Keep up your spirits, dirty birds, and get a good vacuum- you can use it for the rugs, and the ceiling, and the table and and and ......
Posted by: queentween
Posted on: 2005-02-24 16:59:03
I am the worst housekeeper. I hate it- I have a ton of other things I would rather do than clean house. While the state of my home is not life threatening, I hate to clean, and don't even like having a cleaning lady. I have a 2 year old and a 4 year old, and we would rather play than pick up, but we do. I love antiques, toys, books, costumes, play-doh, and animals. Despite this, with a purchase of a Dyson vacuum, and having cleaning supplies on hand, I have begun a cleaning regimine which has been going rather well, despite the fact that I am pooped( My husband is stationed away and comes home one weekend a month, plus I run a business out of the house, in addition to the 2 kids at home full time, plus volunteer work.) I can sympathize with EVERYONE who gets overwhelmed by cleaning. Don't let others make you feel badly because you have a cleaning disability. I will have you know that my house does get more visitors than any in the neighborhood, maybe because my family is fun, and the coffeepot is always on, or maybe because people stop by to say "Well, my house looks bad, but its not as bad as hers!!" Keep up your spirits, dirty birds, and get a good vacuum- you can use it for the rugs, and the ceiling, and the table and and and ......
Thanks for the Smile
Posted by: ra11en
Posted on: 2005-02-25 15:14:26
Your post gave me a nice chuckle. :) I keep a rather 'okay' house but with school, work, dogs, and a grown up child a.k.a. fiance it can get out of control pretty quickly.
Your outlook of "As long as we're happy who cares" is so refreshing!! :) Thanks for the smile.
Posted by: ra11en
Posted on: 2005-02-25 15:14:26
Your post gave me a nice chuckle. :) I keep a rather 'okay' house but with school, work, dogs, and a grown up child a.k.a. fiance it can get out of control pretty quickly.
Your outlook of "As long as we're happy who cares" is so refreshing!! :) Thanks for the smile.
Total mess
Posted by: 2cheeky4u
Posted on: 2005-02-25 16:53:58
I agree sometimes the housework seems overwhelming. My house used to be a complete mess but now i have managed to get a handle on things and it is actually not too bad anymore, it is not spotless but it is tidy sometimes when i am not too busy chauffering my children and working. I take one day a week when the girls are in school to relax on my day off and one day to work on the house. what gets done gets done and the rest can always be done with the help of my family. I feel the same way if you stress out about it you will never get anything done but if you relax about it and be positive then things will get done and everyone will be happy for it
Posted by: 2cheeky4u
Posted on: 2005-02-25 16:53:58
I agree sometimes the housework seems overwhelming. My house used to be a complete mess but now i have managed to get a handle on things and it is actually not too bad anymore, it is not spotless but it is tidy sometimes when i am not too busy chauffering my children and working. I take one day a week when the girls are in school to relax on my day off and one day to work on the house. what gets done gets done and the rest can always be done with the help of my family. I feel the same way if you stress out about it you will never get anything done but if you relax about it and be positive then things will get done and everyone will be happy for it
What??!!
Posted by: dewaele
Posted on: 2005-02-25 18:58:10
"Cleaning disability"? Are you kidding me? Sounds lack a lack of accountability.
Posted by: dewaele
Posted on: 2005-02-25 18:58:10
"Cleaning disability"? Are you kidding me? Sounds lack a lack of accountability.
dewaele
Posted by: jinxed_01
Posted on: 2005-02-26 01:02:33
Wow a mini Dr. Phil! I am underwhelmed by your comment. On the other hand I am overwhelmed by housework. I was never the best but never imagined I would sink to the depths that I have. I want to clean it, I really do but the more I want to do the less that gets done. I have nobody to blame but my lazy self and low self worth. If I were a child and lived in this filth I am sure the state would take me away from myself...
Posted by: jinxed_01
Posted on: 2005-02-26 01:02:33
Wow a mini Dr. Phil! I am underwhelmed by your comment. On the other hand I am overwhelmed by housework. I was never the best but never imagined I would sink to the depths that I have. I want to clean it, I really do but the more I want to do the less that gets done. I have nobody to blame but my lazy self and low self worth. If I were a child and lived in this filth I am sure the state would take me away from myself...
Find your funny bone
Posted by: queentween
Posted on: 2005-02-26 12:42:53
In your tidy house, you should find your funny bone. My "cleaning disability" is a joke, intended to make people laugh a little- you need to lighten up! And in regards to my lack of accountability, please note that I am a military wife, with a husband who is stationed away. I am raising 2 gifted children basically alone, run a business with sales of over 100K per year with 6 employees, organize the local food shelf and serve on several boards. I wanted to make the people who have trouble keeping up to the standards set by others feel a little better about their situation. In life some things are important and others are not. The determination of those is left up to us. Relax a little.
Posted by: queentween
Posted on: 2005-02-26 12:42:53
In your tidy house, you should find your funny bone. My "cleaning disability" is a joke, intended to make people laugh a little- you need to lighten up! And in regards to my lack of accountability, please note that I am a military wife, with a husband who is stationed away. I am raising 2 gifted children basically alone, run a business with sales of over 100K per year with 6 employees, organize the local food shelf and serve on several boards. I wanted to make the people who have trouble keeping up to the standards set by others feel a little better about their situation. In life some things are important and others are not. The determination of those is left up to us. Relax a little.
:)
Posted by: dewaele
Posted on: 2005-02-26 18:48:06
You guessed correcty, my house is tidy. I also have two jobs, one of which is as a therapist. I applaud you on your list of accomplishments. What I find particularly interesting is that you were the first person to post on this topic to talk about your messy house. Now you're defending it as if you never made the first comment. Is it a problem or not? If you feel you're justified in having a messy house, then why post in the first place? I think if you were entirely comfortable in your home the way it is, you would have never been compelled to discuss the topic.
P.S.- My second job is doing stand-up comedy a couple nights a week at a club in downtown Chicago. My guess is that's where I keep my funny bone.
Posted by: dewaele
Posted on: 2005-02-26 18:48:06
You guessed correcty, my house is tidy. I also have two jobs, one of which is as a therapist. I applaud you on your list of accomplishments. What I find particularly interesting is that you were the first person to post on this topic to talk about your messy house. Now you're defending it as if you never made the first comment. Is it a problem or not? If you feel you're justified in having a messy house, then why post in the first place? I think if you were entirely comfortable in your home the way it is, you would have never been compelled to discuss the topic.
P.S.- My second job is doing stand-up comedy a couple nights a week at a club in downtown Chicago. My guess is that's where I keep my funny bone.
No Way!
Posted by: queentween
Posted on: 2005-02-27 10:03:45
The reason I posted first was because I saw the preview of the show and could tell that there were going to be a ton of people dumping on those who don't like to clean house. And, in reading the posts, I found I was right. I hate it when some people make other people feel badly about themselves. I don't like people who tease others because they can't read, lisp, stutter, forget things or don't like to vacuum. Overcoming these challenges is an effort. I would rather stick up for someone, encourage them instead of bullying them. Sometimes it helps knowing that someone else is in the same boat- and that they can get a handle on things too. I don't think telling people that they are failures works that well (re:your intitial comment regarding my accountability) I would love to see your show- I do get to fly to Chicago on a regular basis, so if you'd post where and when you perform, we would stop by, although if you didn't see the humor in the "cleaning disability" statement, I wonder where you'd get your material........
Posted by: queentween
Posted on: 2005-02-27 10:03:45
The reason I posted first was because I saw the preview of the show and could tell that there were going to be a ton of people dumping on those who don't like to clean house. And, in reading the posts, I found I was right. I hate it when some people make other people feel badly about themselves. I don't like people who tease others because they can't read, lisp, stutter, forget things or don't like to vacuum. Overcoming these challenges is an effort. I would rather stick up for someone, encourage them instead of bullying them. Sometimes it helps knowing that someone else is in the same boat- and that they can get a handle on things too. I don't think telling people that they are failures works that well (re:your intitial comment regarding my accountability) I would love to see your show- I do get to fly to Chicago on a regular basis, so if you'd post where and when you perform, we would stop by, although if you didn't see the humor in the "cleaning disability" statement, I wonder where you'd get your material........
In control?
Posted by: lorigayle
Posted on: 2005-02-28 13:50:32
I sure was hoping to hear what Dr. Phil would say WHY we choose to have a messy house. When he said it is because we like to control a lot, it just didn't seem to fit with me. Looking around my messy house I can't see any satisfaction in enjoying control over so much stuff!
Posted by: lorigayle
Posted on: 2005-02-28 13:50:32
I sure was hoping to hear what Dr. Phil would say WHY we choose to have a messy house. When he said it is because we like to control a lot, it just didn't seem to fit with me. Looking around my messy house I can't see any satisfaction in enjoying control over so much stuff!
Out of control!
Posted by: lydeee
Posted on: 2005-02-28 23:37:19
I couldn't agree with you more. I've been trying to figure out my problem for years. It's the first time I've heard of it being a control issue, but I wouldn't rule anything out until I've heard more on this theory. I feel by sending Kim an "organizer" he is ignoring the underlying problem. It's like putting a bandaid on a bullet wound - it looks ok from the outside but the inside is still festering... Unless you're one of us you just wouldn't understand. I'd give anything to figure this out and get help.
Posted by: lydeee
Posted on: 2005-02-28 23:37:19
I couldn't agree with you more. I've been trying to figure out my problem for years. It's the first time I've heard of it being a control issue, but I wouldn't rule anything out until I've heard more on this theory. I feel by sending Kim an "organizer" he is ignoring the underlying problem. It's like putting a bandaid on a bullet wound - it looks ok from the outside but the inside is still festering... Unless you're one of us you just wouldn't understand. I'd give anything to figure this out and get help.
This may sound crazy!
Posted by: shaygailan
Posted on: 2005-07-08 09:20:20
With some help from the Fly Lady on www.flylady.net, she helped me see that I am a perfectionist. I want things to be perfect. I stand back and look at my mess and get so overwhelmed that I don't know where to start so I don't. Break the time that you have into 15 minute blocks of tasks and rest and you will be amazed at what you can accomplish! "You can do anything for 15 minutes!" Check it out, it just might help.
Posted by: shaygailan
Posted on: 2005-07-08 09:20:20
With some help from the Fly Lady on www.flylady.net, she helped me see that I am a perfectionist. I want things to be perfect. I stand back and look at my mess and get so overwhelmed that I don't know where to start so I don't. Break the time that you have into 15 minute blocks of tasks and rest and you will be amazed at what you can accomplish! "You can do anything for 15 minutes!" Check it out, it just might help.
Posted by: karenmamo
Posted on: 2005-03-03 10:16:01
I did not see this show, but I understand the word, "control."
This show was obviously not about cleaning--but about hording.
Hording is an issue of control for the people who cannot discard things.
It is an illness.
kc
Kids or House?
Posted by: 2kdz2tired
Posted on: 2005-03-03 10:16:37
I am glad that Dr. Phil's advice was right for Kim. I could tell by her expression that he was right on the money. However, for me, it didn't make sense. And for him to tell her to punish herself by not wearing makeup or taking a shower...that is no threat for me. As a stay-at-home mom, I feel dressed up when my socks match. We never had problems until we had kids. 4 people, 4 people's stuff...one mom accountable for it all. My husband would mention that he knew that being a stay-at-home mom was "working" but that I was doing a horrible job. So I went to work part-time. He has never mentioned the cluttered house since. Once he had to walk in my shoes for 48 hours, you really understood how the day can get away from you. I feel that I have a choice of cleaning house or doing things with my kids. Guess which I do. My kindergartener was ready for school and my four year-old and I spend a lot of time playing games (she has learned her colors, how to take turns, how to count to ten, etc) and now we are working on recognizing the alphabet. She is a child that doesn't like to do things alone. If you have a kid that can spend 30 minutes coloring, great! Mine loves to color if I color too. My "job" is to be the best mom I can be. And that means the house cleaning is not my main priority during the day. I only have Aubrey home one more year. Then I will worry about cobwebs and missmatched socks. Right now, everyone is fed, clothed and warm. There are no health issues, just clutter. There are always piles of laundry to wash and clean ones to put away. There are always dishes in the sink and shoes at the door. I spend at least 3 hours a day cleaning. One problem is that when I clean one room, someone is destroying another one. There is nothing like leaving a clean living room and 30 minutes later it is filled with a bedspread and a pillow "fort" with every stuffed animal and doll sitting in it. My children won't remember that the house was always cluttered, but they will remember mommy yelling and never having time because she was stressed out and too busy cleaning. And for anyone who wants to ask if I want to justify my clutter...yes, I do. I do want to have a tidy house, and I will continue to work on it. I just want the thousands of other moms (and dads) out there struggling with this issue to not be down-hearted. We are doing our best. And I know there are lots of you out there like me...just look at the show "Clean Sweep." It can be very depressing to always have a cluttered house. It is like being a hamster in it's wheel, furiously working so hard and never getting anywhere. I live by the adage "Her house is a mess, but her kids are neat." If you spend 5 minutes with my kids, you will know how I spent my time.
Posted by: 2kdz2tired
Posted on: 2005-03-03 10:16:37
I am glad that Dr. Phil's advice was right for Kim. I could tell by her expression that he was right on the money. However, for me, it didn't make sense. And for him to tell her to punish herself by not wearing makeup or taking a shower...that is no threat for me. As a stay-at-home mom, I feel dressed up when my socks match. We never had problems until we had kids. 4 people, 4 people's stuff...one mom accountable for it all. My husband would mention that he knew that being a stay-at-home mom was "working" but that I was doing a horrible job. So I went to work part-time. He has never mentioned the cluttered house since. Once he had to walk in my shoes for 48 hours, you really understood how the day can get away from you. I feel that I have a choice of cleaning house or doing things with my kids. Guess which I do. My kindergartener was ready for school and my four year-old and I spend a lot of time playing games (she has learned her colors, how to take turns, how to count to ten, etc) and now we are working on recognizing the alphabet. She is a child that doesn't like to do things alone. If you have a kid that can spend 30 minutes coloring, great! Mine loves to color if I color too. My "job" is to be the best mom I can be. And that means the house cleaning is not my main priority during the day. I only have Aubrey home one more year. Then I will worry about cobwebs and missmatched socks. Right now, everyone is fed, clothed and warm. There are no health issues, just clutter. There are always piles of laundry to wash and clean ones to put away. There are always dishes in the sink and shoes at the door. I spend at least 3 hours a day cleaning. One problem is that when I clean one room, someone is destroying another one. There is nothing like leaving a clean living room and 30 minutes later it is filled with a bedspread and a pillow "fort" with every stuffed animal and doll sitting in it. My children won't remember that the house was always cluttered, but they will remember mommy yelling and never having time because she was stressed out and too busy cleaning. And for anyone who wants to ask if I want to justify my clutter...yes, I do. I do want to have a tidy house, and I will continue to work on it. I just want the thousands of other moms (and dads) out there struggling with this issue to not be down-hearted. We are doing our best. And I know there are lots of you out there like me...just look at the show "Clean Sweep." It can be very depressing to always have a cluttered house. It is like being a hamster in it's wheel, furiously working so hard and never getting anywhere. I live by the adage "Her house is a mess, but her kids are neat." If you spend 5 minutes with my kids, you will know how I spent my time.
Please!
Posted by: amymmason
Posted on: 2005-02-27 00:34:31
I am a mother of four children and two step children, I have a very busy husband and I work and go to school full time. I have a lot of accountability and am definately "cleaning disabled" at this time in my life. I once lived in a spotless home too but circumstances do not allow me the time or energy to clean every free moment I have and finances don't allow for a cleaning lady. Why not offer help instead of crass remarks??
Posted by: amymmason
Posted on: 2005-02-27 00:34:31
I am a mother of four children and two step children, I have a very busy husband and I work and go to school full time. I have a lot of accountability and am definately "cleaning disabled" at this time in my life. I once lived in a spotless home too but circumstances do not allow me the time or energy to clean every free moment I have and finances don't allow for a cleaning lady. Why not offer help instead of crass remarks??
Help for messy houses
Posted by: star302
Posted on: 2005-02-25 18:58:10
I would just like to say that my house used to be way worse than the messy house shown on today's show. I would just like to share with anyone who needs help in cleaning thier house & keeping it organized, check out the website www.flylady.net it helps you set up daily routines to keep your house under control without having to spend days on end cleaning nonstop.
Posted by: star302
Posted on: 2005-02-25 18:58:10
I would just like to say that my house used to be way worse than the messy house shown on today's show. I would just like to share with anyone who needs help in cleaning thier house & keeping it organized, check out the website www.flylady.net it helps you set up daily routines to keep your house under control without having to spend days on end cleaning nonstop.
Flylady rocks
Posted by: mswing10
Posted on: 2005-02-25 22:29:13
I work outside the home and have a child. I modified flylady's routine and have no trouble keeping a clean house now. There's no such thing as a cleaning disability...it's just laziness.
Posted by: mswing10
Posted on: 2005-02-25 22:29:13
I work outside the home and have a child. I modified flylady's routine and have no trouble keeping a clean house now. There's no such thing as a cleaning disability...it's just laziness.
Aggravatingly judgmental
Posted by: janieb8
Posted on: 2005-02-26 13:21:34
Ya know, it's hard enough to admit that your house has become a cluttered mess. It's really unfortunate that some people label it as 'laziness'. All people can get overwhelmed with some things in their lives. For some, we've just never figured out exactly how to organize the clutter, and to 'let go' of things.
I appreciate the info on a site that can help with this, instead of the assumption that its just laziness! tks
Posted by: janieb8
Posted on: 2005-02-26 13:21:34
Ya know, it's hard enough to admit that your house has become a cluttered mess. It's really unfortunate that some people label it as 'laziness'. All people can get overwhelmed with some things in their lives. For some, we've just never figured out exactly how to organize the clutter, and to 'let go' of things.
I appreciate the info on a site that can help with this, instead of the assumption that its just laziness! tks
FlyLady.net will help you achieve your goals
Posted by: sugarmomy
Posted on: 2005-02-26 17:55:59
I can't stress this enough. Check out the Flylady, it's free to join and it will help you set your goals without the extra baggage of self-loathing, procastination, guilt and the worst, perfectionism! Many accomplished women and excellent moms have seen themselves in the same predicament... You are not alone! Good luck and happy flying!!!
Posted by: sugarmomy
Posted on: 2005-02-26 17:55:59
I can't stress this enough. Check out the Flylady, it's free to join and it will help you set your goals without the extra baggage of self-loathing, procastination, guilt and the worst, perfectionism! Many accomplished women and excellent moms have seen themselves in the same predicament... You are not alone! Good luck and happy flying!!!
i agree
Posted by: lexie83200
Posted on: 2005-02-26 20:05:02
I totally agree with you! We woman have a lot of things to worry about and deal with out of this life, We don't want to end up like Bree on Desperate Housewives by being to perfect and everything cleaned. Nobody even appreciates it! I say sit down every once and a while and take a freakin load of. Stop trying to please your husband or your neighbors and do something for yourself!
Posted by: lexie83200
Posted on: 2005-02-26 20:05:02
I totally agree with you! We woman have a lot of things to worry about and deal with out of this life, We don't want to end up like Bree on Desperate Housewives by being to perfect and everything cleaned. Nobody even appreciates it! I say sit down every once and a while and take a freakin load of. Stop trying to please your husband or your neighbors and do something for yourself!
