06/13 'Afraid of My Child's Behavior' Update
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9Nothing enrages me more
Posted by: momisme2
Posted on: 2004-12-01 09:09:53
Granted I havent seen the show yet, but just from reading about it on the site, im already furious!
I will NEVER understand how a parent defends someone who chokes their child, throws them up against a wall, and then refuses to do a blasted thing about it. Explaining how they loved the person blah blah blah. What about their child?! Do they not love them even more? Then the mother goes onto say that she never knew her child was smoking grass for 5 years. What a crock! She never WANTED to know! How about some honesty? Backstage she is still coddling her son(because that makes HER feel better) saying things like "We dont know that will happen" over him going to jail. Its ALL about her needs, her weakness, her feeling better and not guilty.
Well my opinion is she SHOULD feel guilty! And im not one who believes in that whole guilt thing. But when it comes to parents who close their eyes and turn their heads to their childrens pain, I say suffer the guilt! Let it eat away at you!
Thank God Dr. Phil is there to help this child and say the things he SO DESPERATLEY needs to hear. Things like Dr. Phil is sorry he lived through this. That this should never happen to him.(or any child!) That if he could take it all back he would. I was teary eyed just from reading that!
I know how it feels. I know what it does to you. I know the horror you live through when the adults close their eyes and turn their heads.
NOTHING enrages me more!
Posted by: momisme2
Posted on: 2004-12-01 09:09:53
Granted I havent seen the show yet, but just from reading about it on the site, im already furious!
I will NEVER understand how a parent defends someone who chokes their child, throws them up against a wall, and then refuses to do a blasted thing about it. Explaining how they loved the person blah blah blah. What about their child?! Do they not love them even more? Then the mother goes onto say that she never knew her child was smoking grass for 5 years. What a crock! She never WANTED to know! How about some honesty? Backstage she is still coddling her son(because that makes HER feel better) saying things like "We dont know that will happen" over him going to jail. Its ALL about her needs, her weakness, her feeling better and not guilty.
Well my opinion is she SHOULD feel guilty! And im not one who believes in that whole guilt thing. But when it comes to parents who close their eyes and turn their heads to their childrens pain, I say suffer the guilt! Let it eat away at you!
Thank God Dr. Phil is there to help this child and say the things he SO DESPERATLEY needs to hear. Things like Dr. Phil is sorry he lived through this. That this should never happen to him.(or any child!) That if he could take it all back he would. I was teary eyed just from reading that!
I know how it feels. I know what it does to you. I know the horror you live through when the adults close their eyes and turn their heads.
NOTHING enrages me more!
I'm with you
Posted by: txagg94
Posted on: 2004-12-01 12:24:47
I too am so sick of these "single mothers" who are more interested in where there next boyfriend and "relationshiop" is going to come from than they are about they're own children's well-being. That part of your life goes on the back burner so you can focus on your kids. Sorry, you do what you gotta do!
Posted by: txagg94
Posted on: 2004-12-01 12:24:47
I too am so sick of these "single mothers" who are more interested in where there next boyfriend and "relationshiop" is going to come from than they are about they're own children's well-being. That part of your life goes on the back burner so you can focus on your kids. Sorry, you do what you gotta do!
More than ONE problem
Posted by: katjartx
Posted on: 2004-12-01 12:56:04
I think Dr. Phil was absolutely right when he said that the MOTHER needed help as well. She ABSOLUTELY does. What kind-of parents let's a total stranger whom they are so "in LOVE" with beat there child. NO, that doesn't fully excuse his behaviours, but he might feel that his mother probably doesn't care boaut him to stop the abuse and she let's all these people come to here house and drink and smoke, and God know what else. I think the mother should in some way get in trouble with the law for letting underage drinking going on in her house. She tried to cover herslf up by saying she only realized these things in the past 8 months, that's ridiculous. When are parents going to stop being so selfish and worried about when there next boyfriend is going to come around and start worrying and caring about the greatest gift to life...your kid's. I wish Tim the best, and shame on the mother who needs to work on not only saying she loves her son, but SHOWING him.
Posted by: katjartx
Posted on: 2004-12-01 12:56:04
I think Dr. Phil was absolutely right when he said that the MOTHER needed help as well. She ABSOLUTELY does. What kind-of parents let's a total stranger whom they are so "in LOVE" with beat there child. NO, that doesn't fully excuse his behaviours, but he might feel that his mother probably doesn't care boaut him to stop the abuse and she let's all these people come to here house and drink and smoke, and God know what else. I think the mother should in some way get in trouble with the law for letting underage drinking going on in her house. She tried to cover herslf up by saying she only realized these things in the past 8 months, that's ridiculous. When are parents going to stop being so selfish and worried about when there next boyfriend is going to come around and start worrying and caring about the greatest gift to life...your kid's. I wish Tim the best, and shame on the mother who needs to work on not only saying she loves her son, but SHOWING him.
WALKING ON EGGSHELLS - PERSONALITY DISORDERS
Posted by: anon_slc
Posted on: 2004-12-02 09:54:31
Anyone who had the misfortune of being raised by, living or working with a person who is/was cruel, vicious, vindictive, calculating, manipulative, a liar and a cheat may benefit from reading:
Stop Walking on Eggshells by Paul T. Mason, Randi Kreger
Surviving a Borderline Parent: How to Heal Your Childhood Wounds & Build Trust, Boundaries and Self-Esteem by Kimberlee Roth, Freda Friedman and Randi Kreger
Understanding Family Violence : Treating and Preventing Partner, Child, Sibling and Elder Abuse by Vernon Wiehe
Hope it helps!
Posted by: anon_slc
Posted on: 2004-12-02 09:54:31
Anyone who had the misfortune of being raised by, living or working with a person who is/was cruel, vicious, vindictive, calculating, manipulative, a liar and a cheat may benefit from reading:
Stop Walking on Eggshells by Paul T. Mason, Randi Kreger
Surviving a Borderline Parent: How to Heal Your Childhood Wounds & Build Trust, Boundaries and Self-Esteem by Kimberlee Roth, Freda Friedman and Randi Kreger
Understanding Family Violence : Treating and Preventing Partner, Child, Sibling and Elder Abuse by Vernon Wiehe
Hope it helps!
great books
Posted by: ak_ginger
Posted on: 2005-06-13 20:59:05
i can only add one more. How to talk to your kids so they will listen, and howto listen so kids will talk,it helped me alot
Posted by: ak_ginger
Posted on: 2005-06-13 20:59:05
i can only add one more. How to talk to your kids so they will listen, and howto listen so kids will talk,it helped me alot
Clearing the Air
Posted by: grceflsdwn
Posted on: 2004-12-01 23:34:32
I am slightly offended by your statement. While I agree whole heartedly that children come first no matter what, I think it is unfair to characterize "bad" parents as "single moms". I am a 22 year old single mom. I love my daughter more than life. Her father while not physically abusive has been verbally and emotionally abusive to me. Our daugher is just a baby so thank God nothing has happened to her. I left him and moved home. I am a full time student persuing my Masters. And I do not date at all. I refuse to have men in and out of my daughter's life. My daughter is my number one priority. I know some single moms do not have the same convictions as I do, but then I know more married moms who are selfish, hurtful, and distant toward their children. SO just to clear the air, I agree that this mother was wrong, but all single mothers are not looking for their next boyfriend or "love" some put their faith in God and their efforts into raising happy healthy children. - I know because I am one of them.
Posted by: grceflsdwn
Posted on: 2004-12-01 23:34:32
I am slightly offended by your statement. While I agree whole heartedly that children come first no matter what, I think it is unfair to characterize "bad" parents as "single moms". I am a 22 year old single mom. I love my daughter more than life. Her father while not physically abusive has been verbally and emotionally abusive to me. Our daugher is just a baby so thank God nothing has happened to her. I left him and moved home. I am a full time student persuing my Masters. And I do not date at all. I refuse to have men in and out of my daughter's life. My daughter is my number one priority. I know some single moms do not have the same convictions as I do, but then I know more married moms who are selfish, hurtful, and distant toward their children. SO just to clear the air, I agree that this mother was wrong, but all single mothers are not looking for their next boyfriend or "love" some put their faith in God and their efforts into raising happy healthy children. - I know because I am one of them.
I congratulate you
Posted by: ldburns
Posted on: 2004-12-03 09:33:38
I CONGRAULATE YOU FOR PUTTING YOU AND YOUR DAUGHTER FIRST AND NOT LETTING JUST ANY GUY BE IN YOUR LIFE SO YOU CAN HAVE A BOYFRIEND. I HAVE A STEP DAUGHTER THAT IS 29 YEARS OLD AND HAS 5 KIDS DOESN'T HAVE CUSTODY OF ANY OF THEM. THEY ALL LIVE WITH THIER DADS. SHE HAS BEEN MARRIED TWICE AND IS NOW SINGLE AGAIN. DATING LOTS OF GUYS AND NO PLACE TO LIVE OR CALL HER OWN. SHE STAYS WITH US SOMETIMES WHEN SHE IS BETWEEN BOYFRIENDS, BUT AS SOON AS ONE COMES ALONG OFF SHE GOES. SO I JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW THAT IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU ARE DOING THE BEST FOR YOU AND YOUR CHILD. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK AND GOD BLESS YOU.
Posted by: ldburns
Posted on: 2004-12-03 09:33:38
I CONGRAULATE YOU FOR PUTTING YOU AND YOUR DAUGHTER FIRST AND NOT LETTING JUST ANY GUY BE IN YOUR LIFE SO YOU CAN HAVE A BOYFRIEND. I HAVE A STEP DAUGHTER THAT IS 29 YEARS OLD AND HAS 5 KIDS DOESN'T HAVE CUSTODY OF ANY OF THEM. THEY ALL LIVE WITH THIER DADS. SHE HAS BEEN MARRIED TWICE AND IS NOW SINGLE AGAIN. DATING LOTS OF GUYS AND NO PLACE TO LIVE OR CALL HER OWN. SHE STAYS WITH US SOMETIMES WHEN SHE IS BETWEEN BOYFRIENDS, BUT AS SOON AS ONE COMES ALONG OFF SHE GOES. SO I JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW THAT IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU ARE DOING THE BEST FOR YOU AND YOUR CHILD. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK AND GOD BLESS YOU.
I agree, txaqq
Posted by: rosanne62
Posted on: 2004-12-02 09:49:06
I have to agree with you, txaqq. I left my verbally and emotionally abusive husband 20 years ago. At the time,my daughters were 12 and 14. I made up my mind that they were my first priority and that I would not subject them to a series of "uncles" who might abuse them or worse.
I had to work two jobs to support us but I spent a lot of time with them when I could. I took them and their friends any place they wanted to go. I drove them, stayed in the vicinity and took them home. I always knew where they were and who they were with.
I do not regret the fact that I was alone all the while I was raising them. Their health and safety came first. They are both college graduates, have great jobs and travel the world. One of them is married to a doctor.
I believe that sacrificing the love of a man for the wellbeing of my children was a sacrifice worth making. At least I dont have to suffer the kind of recrimination that that total loser of a mother, Jennifer, should be feeling. She should be ashamed of herself!! She has been worse than useless as a parent. That poor boy; I could just cry. I hope the wilderness program will straighten him out.
Posted by: rosanne62
Posted on: 2004-12-02 09:49:06
I have to agree with you, txaqq. I left my verbally and emotionally abusive husband 20 years ago. At the time,my daughters were 12 and 14. I made up my mind that they were my first priority and that I would not subject them to a series of "uncles" who might abuse them or worse.
I had to work two jobs to support us but I spent a lot of time with them when I could. I took them and their friends any place they wanted to go. I drove them, stayed in the vicinity and took them home. I always knew where they were and who they were with.
I do not regret the fact that I was alone all the while I was raising them. Their health and safety came first. They are both college graduates, have great jobs and travel the world. One of them is married to a doctor.
I believe that sacrificing the love of a man for the wellbeing of my children was a sacrifice worth making. At least I dont have to suffer the kind of recrimination that that total loser of a mother, Jennifer, should be feeling. She should be ashamed of herself!! She has been worse than useless as a parent. That poor boy; I could just cry. I hope the wilderness program will straighten him out.
Posted by: txagg94
Posted on: 2004-12-02 10:46:45
My hat goes off to you! You had good sense to make the choices you did and I greatly commend you. AND, I like how you noticed that nowhere in that statement did I ever say that all single mothers were only interested in the next boyfriend to come along. Thank you for being able to comprehend.
txagg
Posted by: the_indian
Posted on: 2004-12-02 11:48:00
I think what you meant was perfectly clear!
I don't know if this will help anyone or not, but in reading through all this, my take on it is that a lot of people are personalizing comments that are meant in a much more general sense.
My heart really does go out to people (be they single or married) who have children with serious mental problems such as RAD. I can't even imagine what kind of life that must be.
However...this has nothing to do with "passing judgment" on a mom like Jennifer, who knowingly exposed her kid to violence because of her own needs. No, I haven't walked in her shoes, but that's because I haven't made the choices she's made.
For those who are supporting her choices, my question is: In terms of your ethical standards, do you have any dealbreakers? (By that, I mean behaviors that are unacceptable under ANY conditions?) I sure hope so, because otherwise you are altering your core values to suit the situation. And one of my core values is that you protect your children from violence.
Not to preach or anything, but I've had the flu for a couple days and I have too much free time on my hands. :-) But here is the deal. As we all know, families are in crisis today. Unfortunately, all evidence points to the situation getting worse. We have got to get a handle on it or the alternative is unthinkable.
And to get a handle on it, we have to be willing to define the problem and hold those who are creating it accountable.
Good parents are my heroes. And bad parents are my enemy.
Posted by: the_indian
Posted on: 2004-12-02 11:48:00
I think what you meant was perfectly clear!
I don't know if this will help anyone or not, but in reading through all this, my take on it is that a lot of people are personalizing comments that are meant in a much more general sense.
My heart really does go out to people (be they single or married) who have children with serious mental problems such as RAD. I can't even imagine what kind of life that must be.
However...this has nothing to do with "passing judgment" on a mom like Jennifer, who knowingly exposed her kid to violence because of her own needs. No, I haven't walked in her shoes, but that's because I haven't made the choices she's made.
For those who are supporting her choices, my question is: In terms of your ethical standards, do you have any dealbreakers? (By that, I mean behaviors that are unacceptable under ANY conditions?) I sure hope so, because otherwise you are altering your core values to suit the situation. And one of my core values is that you protect your children from violence.
Not to preach or anything, but I've had the flu for a couple days and I have too much free time on my hands. :-) But here is the deal. As we all know, families are in crisis today. Unfortunately, all evidence points to the situation getting worse. We have got to get a handle on it or the alternative is unthinkable.
And to get a handle on it, we have to be willing to define the problem and hold those who are creating it accountable.
Good parents are my heroes. And bad parents are my enemy.
How Dare You!
Posted by: magicma3
Posted on: 2004-11-23 16:31:36
Txaqq
I was a single mother for over 10 years and no I was not looking for a relationship of any kind from anyone. I looked after my children very well though I did have to work 3 jobs to support my 3 children since their father didn't want anything to do with them. Be glad you were not one of us who had to struggle looking after our children.
I know what it was like, wondering how I was going to pay the bills, where our next meals came from etc. My kids were never without anything if I could afford it they got it. And most of all they received my love unconditionally. I to have been having a problem with my 16 year old for the last 2 years. He is constantly being suspended from school and getting into trouble with an I don't care attitude and you know what I am no longer single. I remarried in 2001. I waited until my children were old enough and I had given them my all. Now it was my turn to become happy! Is that a crime. I found a wonderful man who did take all of us in. I told him that we come as a package and what man would do that.
All single mothers don't just think about themselves before their children. SO PLEASE DON'T BASH SINGLE MOTHER'S! As for my 16 year old I wish I could get help for him but wherever I turn (youth counselling, DCF, etc) they tell me that he has to get arrested first because he doesn't want the help and if he's arrested then the courts could force councelling on him. You ever think that this is what this mother was told as well? Get all your facts first before bashing singles mothers. I agree that she should have seen what his stepfather was doing but have you never been blinded by love?
Posted by: magicma3
Posted on: 2004-11-23 16:31:36
Txaqq
I was a single mother for over 10 years and no I was not looking for a relationship of any kind from anyone. I looked after my children very well though I did have to work 3 jobs to support my 3 children since their father didn't want anything to do with them. Be glad you were not one of us who had to struggle looking after our children.
I know what it was like, wondering how I was going to pay the bills, where our next meals came from etc. My kids were never without anything if I could afford it they got it. And most of all they received my love unconditionally. I to have been having a problem with my 16 year old for the last 2 years. He is constantly being suspended from school and getting into trouble with an I don't care attitude and you know what I am no longer single. I remarried in 2001. I waited until my children were old enough and I had given them my all. Now it was my turn to become happy! Is that a crime. I found a wonderful man who did take all of us in. I told him that we come as a package and what man would do that.
All single mothers don't just think about themselves before their children. SO PLEASE DON'T BASH SINGLE MOTHER'S! As for my 16 year old I wish I could get help for him but wherever I turn (youth counselling, DCF, etc) they tell me that he has to get arrested first because he doesn't want the help and if he's arrested then the courts could force councelling on him. You ever think that this is what this mother was told as well? Get all your facts first before bashing singles mothers. I agree that she should have seen what his stepfather was doing but have you never been blinded by love?
OH, COME ON!!!
Posted by: rosanne62
Posted on: 2004-12-02 10:37:41
"Blinded by love"??!!! That is the dumbest excuse Ive ever heard for allowing some one to brutalize your child. How about blinded by stupidity?? Jennifer knew what her boyfriend was doing to her son. She admitted that. She was hoping he would change. Jennifer is the one who needs to change. She needs to get a backbone and stand up for her son. She is a total loss as a parent and as a human being. How can she live with herself??!!
By the way, has the twit ever pressed charges against that monster??? Is it too late to do that now?
Posted by: rosanne62
Posted on: 2004-12-02 10:37:41
"Blinded by love"??!!! That is the dumbest excuse Ive ever heard for allowing some one to brutalize your child. How about blinded by stupidity?? Jennifer knew what her boyfriend was doing to her son. She admitted that. She was hoping he would change. Jennifer is the one who needs to change. She needs to get a backbone and stand up for her son. She is a total loss as a parent and as a human being. How can she live with herself??!!
By the way, has the twit ever pressed charges against that monster??? Is it too late to do that now?
Posted by: txagg94
Posted on: 2004-12-02 10:37:41
Where in that statement did it say "all and any single mother on the planet?" If you can read and comprehend, it states "single mothers WHO", meaning those that choose to put a man before their kids best interest. THOSE WHO CHOOSE not any and all!
Single Mothers Who
Posted by: soussan1
Posted on: 2004-12-03 09:20:51
Txaqq94, I agree that "single parents" should make their children their first priority but even then it is not a guarantee that there won't be problems. I am a single mother of 3 teenage boys. I choose to remain single until they are on their own because they deserve my full attention. Their father was hit or miss with being in their lives up until about a year ago and now he is gone completely. I divorced him 11 years ago and I have supported the 4 of us by myself the whole time. However, even though I have a good job and I am totally involved in their lives I still have a son that is causing problems. He is my middle son. He started acting out when he was in the 6th grade (he is now a sophomore in high school now). I have been to 5 psycharists(sp?) and numerous therapists. He lies, cheats, steals, puts holes in my walls and doors. He has beaten up his little brother, and threatened kid in the neighborhood.He has been caught shoplifting, doing drugs and whenever he feels the need he leaves my house for hours at a time. We finally in the last 6 mos. have come to realize that he suffers from Aspergers disorder and bipolar disorder. I have had to take 3 medical leave of absences from my work to try and get things stable in my home. I have been passed over for promotions because of some of this. I currently work 3rd shift (which is after he goes to sleep) so that I am constantly available to monitor him, which takes time away from my other sons.
I am not saying that Jennifer was right in what she did and I believe that she bears the biggest burden of what has happened with her son but sometimes even those of us who try our best still have kids that have problems and get into trouble.
Posted by: soussan1
Posted on: 2004-12-03 09:20:51
Txaqq94, I agree that "single parents" should make their children their first priority but even then it is not a guarantee that there won't be problems. I am a single mother of 3 teenage boys. I choose to remain single until they are on their own because they deserve my full attention. Their father was hit or miss with being in their lives up until about a year ago and now he is gone completely. I divorced him 11 years ago and I have supported the 4 of us by myself the whole time. However, even though I have a good job and I am totally involved in their lives I still have a son that is causing problems. He is my middle son. He started acting out when he was in the 6th grade (he is now a sophomore in high school now). I have been to 5 psycharists(sp?) and numerous therapists. He lies, cheats, steals, puts holes in my walls and doors. He has beaten up his little brother, and threatened kid in the neighborhood.He has been caught shoplifting, doing drugs and whenever he feels the need he leaves my house for hours at a time. We finally in the last 6 mos. have come to realize that he suffers from Aspergers disorder and bipolar disorder. I have had to take 3 medical leave of absences from my work to try and get things stable in my home. I have been passed over for promotions because of some of this. I currently work 3rd shift (which is after he goes to sleep) so that I am constantly available to monitor him, which takes time away from my other sons.
I am not saying that Jennifer was right in what she did and I believe that she bears the biggest burden of what has happened with her son but sometimes even those of us who try our best still have kids that have problems and get into trouble.
Compassion
Posted by: bardiagas
Posted on: 2005-01-17 18:58:43
I know Jennifer and I think alot of these comments are harsh. It is very easy to judge when you don't know someone. She is a very caring person, but because of circumstances - and believe me we all have those in our past - things didn't work out for her like one would have liked. I am very happy that she is getting the support now that she needs. I applaud Dr. Phil for stepping up and helping a very nice young women.
Posted by: bardiagas
Posted on: 2005-01-17 18:58:43
I know Jennifer and I think alot of these comments are harsh. It is very easy to judge when you don't know someone. She is a very caring person, but because of circumstances - and believe me we all have those in our past - things didn't work out for her like one would have liked. I am very happy that she is getting the support now that she needs. I applaud Dr. Phil for stepping up and helping a very nice young women.
Single Mom who sees it all and still has problems
Posted by: almstovrit
Posted on: 2005-06-13 15:31:20
Posted by: almstovrit
Posted on: 2005-06-13 15:31:20
Not liking your judgement against single mothers!
Posted by: almstovrit
Posted on: 2005-06-13 15:31:20
Ok Im a single mom of 3.. Have been for 9 years and my oldest just graduated high school at 17!!!!! My twins are 13.. Not all moms put a man before their kids.. I know I haven't. Although others have thought so because I've had to rely on others for help outside of my immediate family,(so called friends) when no one else was around because I had to work to make the money to put the food on the table and to keep the roof over our heads! I learned a hard lesson along time ago.. About trusting even your friends with your kids... Something you should be aware of its not just the partner you allow in your life that can harm your children. You don't always know the person you think you know. Sex offenders are right down the street or next door and you don't even know it. I was fortunate that I taught my children at an early age to tell no matter what if anyone tries or does harm to them.. I told them that people who try to hurt you or do can't watch you 24 and 7, and to tell someone no matter what the perpertrator says or threatens or who it is. And needless to say I was molested when I was a kid too. So I thought I knew what to look for. My worst fear came true I was horrified, scared, hurt angry and wanted to kill the person and I attempted to do so in front of a police officer when my childern told me.(Which was within an hour)And most don't ever tell. Don't be so critical of a single parent. Sure they make mistakes so do two parent families! I had both parents!(And I never said a word for fear that my family would be harmed) If you think that all single parents care about is the partner in their life you are sadly mistaken. It took me years to trust a man to even enter my life or have anything to do with my children for that fact after all we have been through. These kids come first and there is a man in my life who knows this too. That when it comes to them no one comes between us! They are my #1 priority. He knows he would go out the door the very second he ever gave me the altimatum of them or him and that I would never choose him over them. I don't agree with anyone putting their hands upon a child to harm them no matter the situation. Nor choosing a partner over your children. You don't always judge a book by its cover,just because it is a single edition, the insides of the book may carry valuable lessons in life and you have to look and really be aware of everything within your life and your childs life. They have to know your door is open no matter what the situation and that you will protect them and love them no matter what. That you are secure with yourself. They need to know that you may not understand everything that they feel but that you are willing to try and that you also have been in situations simular or exactly like theirs. I would never allow a person to abuse my children. My children know I've been on that side of the tracks. I'm teaching them to be strong independent individuals. Evidently that woman on the show... Well she has problems and not all single moms do! So I implore you to rethink your comments towards single parents period. After all in this day and age alot of dads are raising their children alone too. So your single mother comment affects all single parents when you are making such phrases and perhaps you should walk in a single parents shoes before you pass judgement on all! I try to teach my children not to classify people in catagories just because one or two bad apples are in the basket of life, perhaps you should attempt not to be so judgemental. Judge not least thee be judged. I applaud all the decent single parents for it is no easy task to raise children alone.
Posted by: almstovrit
Posted on: 2005-06-13 15:31:20
Ok Im a single mom of 3.. Have been for 9 years and my oldest just graduated high school at 17!!!!! My twins are 13.. Not all moms put a man before their kids.. I know I haven't. Although others have thought so because I've had to rely on others for help outside of my immediate family,(so called friends) when no one else was around because I had to work to make the money to put the food on the table and to keep the roof over our heads! I learned a hard lesson along time ago.. About trusting even your friends with your kids... Something you should be aware of its not just the partner you allow in your life that can harm your children. You don't always know the person you think you know. Sex offenders are right down the street or next door and you don't even know it. I was fortunate that I taught my children at an early age to tell no matter what if anyone tries or does harm to them.. I told them that people who try to hurt you or do can't watch you 24 and 7, and to tell someone no matter what the perpertrator says or threatens or who it is. And needless to say I was molested when I was a kid too. So I thought I knew what to look for. My worst fear came true I was horrified, scared, hurt angry and wanted to kill the person and I attempted to do so in front of a police officer when my childern told me.(Which was within an hour)And most don't ever tell. Don't be so critical of a single parent. Sure they make mistakes so do two parent families! I had both parents!(And I never said a word for fear that my family would be harmed) If you think that all single parents care about is the partner in their life you are sadly mistaken. It took me years to trust a man to even enter my life or have anything to do with my children for that fact after all we have been through. These kids come first and there is a man in my life who knows this too. That when it comes to them no one comes between us! They are my #1 priority. He knows he would go out the door the very second he ever gave me the altimatum of them or him and that I would never choose him over them. I don't agree with anyone putting their hands upon a child to harm them no matter the situation. Nor choosing a partner over your children. You don't always judge a book by its cover,just because it is a single edition, the insides of the book may carry valuable lessons in life and you have to look and really be aware of everything within your life and your childs life. They have to know your door is open no matter what the situation and that you will protect them and love them no matter what. That you are secure with yourself. They need to know that you may not understand everything that they feel but that you are willing to try and that you also have been in situations simular or exactly like theirs. I would never allow a person to abuse my children. My children know I've been on that side of the tracks. I'm teaching them to be strong independent individuals. Evidently that woman on the show... Well she has problems and not all single moms do! So I implore you to rethink your comments towards single parents period. After all in this day and age alot of dads are raising their children alone too. So your single mother comment affects all single parents when you are making such phrases and perhaps you should walk in a single parents shoes before you pass judgement on all! I try to teach my children not to classify people in catagories just because one or two bad apples are in the basket of life, perhaps you should attempt not to be so judgemental. Judge not least thee be judged. I applaud all the decent single parents for it is no easy task to raise children alone.
Tim's Mother
Posted by: ky_mary
Posted on: 2005-06-13 15:33:28
I agree with you with my whole being. I am 62 years old and have been divorced since 1967. I raised my daughter who was 21 months, and son was 6 months. I know I would never let anyone touch my children.
I have a real problem with women who will do anything, or submit their children to anything. JUST TO HAVE A MAN IN THEIR BED!!!!
Posted by: ky_mary
Posted on: 2005-06-13 15:33:28
I agree with you with my whole being. I am 62 years old and have been divorced since 1967. I raised my daughter who was 21 months, and son was 6 months. I know I would never let anyone touch my children.
I have a real problem with women who will do anything, or submit their children to anything. JUST TO HAVE A MAN IN THEIR BED!!!!
she should feel guilty!
Posted by: janinsc
Posted on: 2004-12-01 15:31:01
What the hell is wrong with these people who call themselves parents? She should feel plenty guilty. "I was in love." Oh Jennifer, please!!!! In love with someone who beats up your kid? Are you crazy or just stupid??? Every time I see a really screwed up kid I know I don't have to look any further than their parent(s). They aren't born this way. Thank God for Dr. Phil.
Posted by: janinsc
Posted on: 2004-12-01 15:31:01
What the hell is wrong with these people who call themselves parents? She should feel plenty guilty. "I was in love." Oh Jennifer, please!!!! In love with someone who beats up your kid? Are you crazy or just stupid??? Every time I see a really screwed up kid I know I don't have to look any further than their parent(s). They aren't born this way. Thank God for Dr. Phil.
