05/09 Meddling Mother-In-Law
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Posted by: gragg5
Posted on: 2005-05-05 19:32:22
I also can sympathise with Tera. I also have one of those meddling mother in laws. The only difference is my wife & I are an interracial couple. And her family especially her mother will try anything to break us up even using her position with the state as an advocate for people with major disabilities. She tried to put my wife in one of her group homes she works for. Plus lied on me saying I'm an abusive husband. So the state could retain guardianship of my wife. She always call me the n word. Plus she goes around spreading vicious lies like I raped my wife but in reality her own father sexually assaulted her. And my great mother in law uses the excuse he was drunk. Also he used to beat on her. The thing is her mother don't want her just the disability check & does not want an african american in her family. Thank you for having a awsome tv show. And we try not to miss a show.
Posted by: gragg5
Posted on: 2005-05-05 19:32:22
I also can sympathise with Tera. I also have one of those meddling mother in laws. The only difference is my wife & I are an interracial couple. And her family especially her mother will try anything to break us up even using her position with the state as an advocate for people with major disabilities. She tried to put my wife in one of her group homes she works for. Plus lied on me saying I'm an abusive husband. So the state could retain guardianship of my wife. She always call me the n word. Plus she goes around spreading vicious lies like I raped my wife but in reality her own father sexually assaulted her. And my great mother in law uses the excuse he was drunk. Also he used to beat on her. The thing is her mother don't want her just the disability check & does not want an african american in her family. Thank you for having a awsome tv show. And we try not to miss a show.
Posted by: jettav
Posted on: 2005-05-06 11:10:26
The first time some one comes into my home and tells me how to live my life and takes it on themselves to rearrange my home, they would not be back for a while as they would get the message, "stay out of my business". I do not hesitate to let "bossy" and "medling" pople know where I stand especially when it comes to my home and family. Spouses need to start sticking up for one another and quit allowing their parents to control their lives as well as their families lives. Marriage is a committment between TWO people, not a committment including the in laws.
to the in laws, go get a life of your own and mind your own business. Love and respect your children and accept the fact that life isn't all about you..................
Agree!
Posted by: mom2ali
Posted on: 2005-05-06 21:38:22
I haven't seen the show yet, as it doesn't air till Monday but I'll be the first to say that a marriage doesn't include the in-laws. They are still supposed to have their own lives and not map their lives around intruding on their kids' families. IMO if they are bored and lonely, they have no one to blame but themselves for putting themselves in that position. My MIL was always whining about that and I told her that I am not her friend, I'm not her age and therefore not her peer, I am her son's wife and the mother of three children. I'm not here to make her life easier, be her friend, cater to her issues, etc. In the same vein, there are plenty of things she could have spent her time on instead of jumping in and thinking she should raise my kids and take care of MY husband - gee, he's 40 years old! I don't want my mom taking care of me any more, or treading all over my husband.
Yes, spouses need to stick up for each other and remind parents to get their own lives, and continue their own lives. Dr. Phil is good with saying 'it's not about you', I have seen him make that comment to several in-laws before on shows concerning this.
Posted by: mom2ali
Posted on: 2005-05-06 21:38:22
I haven't seen the show yet, as it doesn't air till Monday but I'll be the first to say that a marriage doesn't include the in-laws. They are still supposed to have their own lives and not map their lives around intruding on their kids' families. IMO if they are bored and lonely, they have no one to blame but themselves for putting themselves in that position. My MIL was always whining about that and I told her that I am not her friend, I'm not her age and therefore not her peer, I am her son's wife and the mother of three children. I'm not here to make her life easier, be her friend, cater to her issues, etc. In the same vein, there are plenty of things she could have spent her time on instead of jumping in and thinking she should raise my kids and take care of MY husband - gee, he's 40 years old! I don't want my mom taking care of me any more, or treading all over my husband.
Yes, spouses need to stick up for each other and remind parents to get their own lives, and continue their own lives. Dr. Phil is good with saying 'it's not about you', I have seen him make that comment to several in-laws before on shows concerning this.
Bad wrap
Posted by: ashley114
Posted on: 2005-05-10 00:43:49
Hello, My name is Kathy and I am a
Mother-n-law and I think we are getting a bad wrap.
I feel I am a good Mother n law, do I always get it right no but I try hard and I feel for you to ask us to get out of our children's life is wrong.
Because we love our kids and grandchildren should we meddle no should we cause problems no.
But we should aid advise and be a part of our children's lives.
I have a daughter n law that I love dearly she recenty let me watch my grandaughter be born.
I will always be grateful for that moment...
Please try to look at your In laws as people and parents and be kind talk to her especially and become a friend you might be suprised at the person you get to know needs desperlately to still be included in your lives. That's why they call it family because we are knitted together wih love.
Just think about okay...
Posted by: ashley114
Posted on: 2005-05-10 00:43:49
Hello, My name is Kathy and I am a
Mother-n-law and I think we are getting a bad wrap.
I feel I am a good Mother n law, do I always get it right no but I try hard and I feel for you to ask us to get out of our children's life is wrong.
Because we love our kids and grandchildren should we meddle no should we cause problems no.
But we should aid advise and be a part of our children's lives.
I have a daughter n law that I love dearly she recenty let me watch my grandaughter be born.
I will always be grateful for that moment...
Please try to look at your In laws as people and parents and be kind talk to her especially and become a friend you might be suprised at the person you get to know needs desperlately to still be included in your lives. That's why they call it family because we are knitted together wih love.
Just think about okay...
Hi Kathy
Posted by: shawbehan
Posted on: 2005-05-14 15:14:21
I get a very real sense that you are not one of those inlaws who is causing problems. No one is saying that inlaws cannot be a very big part of their kids and grandkids lives. What I believe people are saying is, please respect our boundaries.
Don't drop by without calling first. Don't give advice unless we ask for it. Don't tell us how to raise our children when we are doing our best and you have already had your opportunity to raise a family. Please just treat your daughter or son-in-law the same way that you wish to be treated, because as it says in the Bible, we reap what we sow.
Your family sounds very lucky indeed to have such a loving mother and grandmother as you. If every mother-in-law were as kind and respectful, the world would be a much more peaceful place for everyone. Naturally this goes both ways.
Sincerely,
SB
Posted by: shawbehan
Posted on: 2005-05-14 15:14:21
I get a very real sense that you are not one of those inlaws who is causing problems. No one is saying that inlaws cannot be a very big part of their kids and grandkids lives. What I believe people are saying is, please respect our boundaries.
Don't drop by without calling first. Don't give advice unless we ask for it. Don't tell us how to raise our children when we are doing our best and you have already had your opportunity to raise a family. Please just treat your daughter or son-in-law the same way that you wish to be treated, because as it says in the Bible, we reap what we sow.
Your family sounds very lucky indeed to have such a loving mother and grandmother as you. If every mother-in-law were as kind and respectful, the world would be a much more peaceful place for everyone. Naturally this goes both ways.
Sincerely,
SB
I think you're wrong
Posted by: yvls123
Posted on: 2005-05-14 23:07:34
I totally disagree with you Kathy. If you think you did such a wonderful job of raising your kids, you should trust that they are capable of choosing their own mates & raising their own family. I only step in when asked. I am a mother of 4 & a grandmother 8 so not totally ignorangt on the issue.
Posted by: yvls123
Posted on: 2005-05-14 23:07:34
I totally disagree with you Kathy. If you think you did such a wonderful job of raising your kids, you should trust that they are capable of choosing their own mates & raising their own family. I only step in when asked. I am a mother of 4 & a grandmother 8 so not totally ignorangt on the issue.
Kathy, you're not alone
Posted by: poemriter7
Posted on: 2005-05-17 15:13:16
Kathy,
I commend you for being such a wonderful mom and inlaw. I have one just like you. My inlaws never intruded on our marriage, but were there if we needed advice. My mom is the same way. They both feel that our home and life is ours, but they will be there if asked. All mothers-in-law are NOT meddling, intrusive people. Please continue to be the person you are.
Brenda
Posted by: poemriter7
Posted on: 2005-05-17 15:13:16
Kathy,
I commend you for being such a wonderful mom and inlaw. I have one just like you. My inlaws never intruded on our marriage, but were there if we needed advice. My mom is the same way. They both feel that our home and life is ours, but they will be there if asked. All mothers-in-law are NOT meddling, intrusive people. Please continue to be the person you are.
Brenda
verbally abusive father-in-law
Posted by: larryjacob
Posted on: 2005-05-09 19:50:08
My name is Debi and I live in the rural Texas panhandle. My husband and I have been married for almost 29 years. My father-in-law has been an almost constant problem. His wife and children have never questioned his authority over anthing ever. His children grew up practically fearing him and his wife just always kept her mouth shut. When my husband and I were first married, we lived pretty far away from them but that did eventually change. We now live about 3 1/2 hours from them. I don't go there any longer because the last time I was there (which was for a funeral for 1 of his grandsons) he went from telling everyone what a selfish self-centered bitch I was to calling me white trash. Now, I have never ever considered my self white trash. I have to say it just stunned me. I admit I can be a bitch sometimes, but never to him or his wife or anyone else in his family. He calls my husband daily at work or on his cell phone so he won't risk my answering the phone if he calls here at home. There have been other instances where my feelings have been hurt by my husband's family. My husband won't stand up for me because it means having to have a confrontation with his father or another family member. Now I just stay away from his family altogether, but I have never told my husband not to go and visit them. He doesn't go see them often and they blame me for that. I am in a sad, sad state to say that I think any feelings I had for my husband are just gone. If I could afford to support myself financially, I would just leave and get a divorce. I don't even sleep in the same bed with my husband anymore. I really don't want to blame other people for my problems so let me just leave by giving some advice - when you get married, make damn sure the apron strings between your husband and his parents is cut.
Posted by: larryjacob
Posted on: 2005-05-09 19:50:08
My name is Debi and I live in the rural Texas panhandle. My husband and I have been married for almost 29 years. My father-in-law has been an almost constant problem. His wife and children have never questioned his authority over anthing ever. His children grew up practically fearing him and his wife just always kept her mouth shut. When my husband and I were first married, we lived pretty far away from them but that did eventually change. We now live about 3 1/2 hours from them. I don't go there any longer because the last time I was there (which was for a funeral for 1 of his grandsons) he went from telling everyone what a selfish self-centered bitch I was to calling me white trash. Now, I have never ever considered my self white trash. I have to say it just stunned me. I admit I can be a bitch sometimes, but never to him or his wife or anyone else in his family. He calls my husband daily at work or on his cell phone so he won't risk my answering the phone if he calls here at home. There have been other instances where my feelings have been hurt by my husband's family. My husband won't stand up for me because it means having to have a confrontation with his father or another family member. Now I just stay away from his family altogether, but I have never told my husband not to go and visit them. He doesn't go see them often and they blame me for that. I am in a sad, sad state to say that I think any feelings I had for my husband are just gone. If I could afford to support myself financially, I would just leave and get a divorce. I don't even sleep in the same bed with my husband anymore. I really don't want to blame other people for my problems so let me just leave by giving some advice - when you get married, make damn sure the apron strings between your husband and his parents is cut.
sorry for your pain!!
Posted by: smileylynn
Posted on: 2005-05-09 16:25:20
I have always said tha ti would love anyone theat my kid's loved, because both my mohter and husbunds father did not like eaihter one odf from the get go. I think because they were so very aunhappy with their lifes that they also wanted us to be unhappy too!!! so guess what after a lot of pain and hurt my husbund and i both chose to give up our parents. It made a very much better life for us. On the other hand we took our sil in just like one of our own and loved him just like our son. all threw their marriage the would bring us into their life and ask for help with money (they took drugs for 10 yrs) and had 2 daughters. Then they found god and guess what they turned on us because he told a lot of lies on us. and my daughter's knowa it. it has been proven to her many times We finally got tries of inableing them so we stopped they would say stay out of our lifes well it goes both ways if you don't want mil's in your life keep them out of your toubles and you life's to your self's tell your mil to go to hell and be there for your wife.
There are some good in-lawa out there really i'am one of them. but now we do not have our granddaughter's in our lifes because of our son-law Hugs and prays to you and yours
Posted by: smileylynn
Posted on: 2005-05-09 16:25:20
I have always said tha ti would love anyone theat my kid's loved, because both my mohter and husbunds father did not like eaihter one odf from the get go. I think because they were so very aunhappy with their lifes that they also wanted us to be unhappy too!!! so guess what after a lot of pain and hurt my husbund and i both chose to give up our parents. It made a very much better life for us. On the other hand we took our sil in just like one of our own and loved him just like our son. all threw their marriage the would bring us into their life and ask for help with money (they took drugs for 10 yrs) and had 2 daughters. Then they found god and guess what they turned on us because he told a lot of lies on us. and my daughter's knowa it. it has been proven to her many times We finally got tries of inableing them so we stopped they would say stay out of our lifes well it goes both ways if you don't want mil's in your life keep them out of your toubles and you life's to your self's tell your mil to go to hell and be there for your wife.
There are some good in-lawa out there really i'am one of them. but now we do not have our granddaughter's in our lifes because of our son-law Hugs and prays to you and yours
gragg
Posted by: shannoncl
Posted on: 2005-05-09 22:10:44
gragg, I am sorry your mother in law treats you and your wife like that. It is not fair to undermine a marriage just because of the color of someones skin. I am a white woman married to a black man. At first neither side of the family(his and mine) was real happy about it. But in time, once they got the point that I was a good woman and he a good man, they, mainly his mom was forced to back off becasue she was wrong. My folks were wrong too and will admit it to a certain extent. My father, who also molested me makes racist jokes about him and our kids being "oreo babies" and other crude racist remarks I care not to repeat. I dont know what to tell you but hang in there. It sounds like you are a good man. By the way, what is wrong with your wife that the state would try to take guardianship?
Posted by: shannoncl
Posted on: 2005-05-09 22:10:44
gragg, I am sorry your mother in law treats you and your wife like that. It is not fair to undermine a marriage just because of the color of someones skin. I am a white woman married to a black man. At first neither side of the family(his and mine) was real happy about it. But in time, once they got the point that I was a good woman and he a good man, they, mainly his mom was forced to back off becasue she was wrong. My folks were wrong too and will admit it to a certain extent. My father, who also molested me makes racist jokes about him and our kids being "oreo babies" and other crude racist remarks I care not to repeat. I dont know what to tell you but hang in there. It sounds like you are a good man. By the way, what is wrong with your wife that the state would try to take guardianship?
the MIL knew
Posted by: uscelt
Posted on: 2005-05-10 14:50:11
When the son/husband confessed his on going affair the MIL said "I can't believe he told the truth". She didn't say anything like 'I can't believe it..' or 'oh my god..' etc. She said nothing that indicated surprise. Quite the opposite in fact - she said "I can't believe he told the truth". This indicates that she KNEW what the truth was.
I know Tara doesn't want to be the one blamed for ending the marriage - but she needs to get out of that relationship. She's a terrific lady and shouldn't be stuck with this looser. If she stays she will teach her daughter to settle and put up with a husband that cheats on her and has no respect for her. If she stays she will teach her son that it's ok to do the things his father does.
Tara - you need to leave that marriage. Not just for your sake, but for your kids as well.
Posted by: uscelt
Posted on: 2005-05-10 14:50:11
When the son/husband confessed his on going affair the MIL said "I can't believe he told the truth". She didn't say anything like 'I can't believe it..' or 'oh my god..' etc. She said nothing that indicated surprise. Quite the opposite in fact - she said "I can't believe he told the truth". This indicates that she KNEW what the truth was.
I know Tara doesn't want to be the one blamed for ending the marriage - but she needs to get out of that relationship. She's a terrific lady and shouldn't be stuck with this looser. If she stays she will teach her daughter to settle and put up with a husband that cheats on her and has no respect for her. If she stays she will teach her son that it's ok to do the things his father does.
Tara - you need to leave that marriage. Not just for your sake, but for your kids as well.
A true monster in law
Posted by: landey
Posted on: 2005-05-06 21:40:40
I have the kind of inlaws that would definately create a good monster in law movie. When I first got married it would take me weeks to recover after a visit from my monster in law. At one point, I nearly left my husband because his mother really, really was making my life miserable. I finally broke and yelled back at her and told her to mind her own business, get a life and stop trying to control mine! My name was mud in the family. My husband told me that it was about time that I stood up to her. She behaved for a while, but now she is going after my kids and telling me how horrible they are. I have restricted her visits to when my kids are napping or in pre-school. They really can't handle her critical eye and usually they end up in tears after a visit from her. I now know that no matter what I do, I cannot change her bad behavior. I cannot make her behave. Lately, I must admit, I have been trying to beat her at her own game. By that, I ignore her nasty remarks. I make all the foods that she hates - including as many dishes with nuts and poppy seeds (she has false teeth). I figure that if she is busy picking her teeth...she won't be able to talk too much. My husband calls it passive aggressive. I sit there without commenting and just watch. My husband has noticed that I cope better after a visit, but he is worried that the two of us are actually setting up a little war of "one ups". I have tried being nice...and that only got me frusterated! The bottom line is........Why in the world do inlaws...mother in laws have to be so NASTY!!!! This woman brings out the worst in me. I think that we should have a club....Monster in laws need not apply!! haha
Posted by: landey
Posted on: 2005-05-06 21:40:40
I have the kind of inlaws that would definately create a good monster in law movie. When I first got married it would take me weeks to recover after a visit from my monster in law. At one point, I nearly left my husband because his mother really, really was making my life miserable. I finally broke and yelled back at her and told her to mind her own business, get a life and stop trying to control mine! My name was mud in the family. My husband told me that it was about time that I stood up to her. She behaved for a while, but now she is going after my kids and telling me how horrible they are. I have restricted her visits to when my kids are napping or in pre-school. They really can't handle her critical eye and usually they end up in tears after a visit from her. I now know that no matter what I do, I cannot change her bad behavior. I cannot make her behave. Lately, I must admit, I have been trying to beat her at her own game. By that, I ignore her nasty remarks. I make all the foods that she hates - including as many dishes with nuts and poppy seeds (she has false teeth). I figure that if she is busy picking her teeth...she won't be able to talk too much. My husband calls it passive aggressive. I sit there without commenting and just watch. My husband has noticed that I cope better after a visit, but he is worried that the two of us are actually setting up a little war of "one ups". I have tried being nice...and that only got me frusterated! The bottom line is........Why in the world do inlaws...mother in laws have to be so NASTY!!!! This woman brings out the worst in me. I think that we should have a club....Monster in laws need not apply!! haha
Stand
Posted by: pookie69au
Posted on: 2005-05-08 08:01:46
You stood up for yourself why don't you stand up for your children. Your husband should also support you and your childern.If she shut up once because you told her what for.Keep doing it till she gets the message that you will not put up with her crap. What you should tell her you had your shot raising childern. Also tell your husband it might of been find that he was raised with her but it is not okay for your childern or you, as she didn't give birth to you. Don't go down to her leave . Stand tall and tell her straight.
Posted by: pookie69au
Posted on: 2005-05-08 08:01:46
You stood up for yourself why don't you stand up for your children. Your husband should also support you and your childern.If she shut up once because you told her what for.Keep doing it till she gets the message that you will not put up with her crap. What you should tell her you had your shot raising childern. Also tell your husband it might of been find that he was raised with her but it is not okay for your childern or you, as she didn't give birth to you. Don't go down to her leave . Stand tall and tell her straight.
stand
Posted by: kpoley
Posted on: 2005-05-09 09:03:35
One of the things I have gained by listening to Dr Phil, is that it is the HUSBAND'S responsibility to stand up to his mother, not hte daughter in law. Why hasn't your husband tried to control HIS mother instead of leaving it up to you??
I am fortunate, my M-I-L is a wimp, unfortunatly, it hte Bro in law I have to deal with.
Posted by: kpoley
Posted on: 2005-05-09 09:03:35
One of the things I have gained by listening to Dr Phil, is that it is the HUSBAND'S responsibility to stand up to his mother, not hte daughter in law. Why hasn't your husband tried to control HIS mother instead of leaving it up to you??
I am fortunate, my M-I-L is a wimp, unfortunatly, it hte Bro in law I have to deal with.
Posted by: mom2kaykim
Posted on: 2005-05-09 10:42:59
Probably because he needs to grow himself a set! That is why he hasn't stood up to his mother!
Husband
Posted by: kelhyder
Posted on: 2005-05-11 08:53:59
All I know, if my hubby cannot do it, he leaves me no alternative but, to do it myself. Trust me, my hubby would rather deal with his mother BEFORE I do lol!
Posted by: kelhyder
Posted on: 2005-05-11 08:53:59
All I know, if my hubby cannot do it, he leaves me no alternative but, to do it myself. Trust me, my hubby would rather deal with his mother BEFORE I do lol!
i know your pain
Posted by: fuzzyree
Posted on: 2005-05-09 09:52:38
I know exactly what your going through ,When i moved in with my boyfriend who is now my husband of 9 years my mother in law tried everything to break us including call all his old girlfriends and telling them to call us .We had our number changed 6 times .I wasreally frustrated to but eventually she gave up and gave me a chance.At the end of her life i was the one who took care of her .We became the closest friends .Now his stepfather was a different story .I am very outspoken and have a very bad temper and he brought my husband up to think what he said goes.Now hes grown and my husband still wont stand up to him .He hates me and when he says hurtful things to and about me my husband will not take up for me i do it myself.It hurts knowing that my husband wont take up for me when it comes to that man .My husband just says let it go ,ignore him but my personality wont let me do it and it causes alot of problems between us .He even cheated my husband out of 25,000 when his mom died and he didnt stand up to him again ...so honey i know your pain ...all us wives have to stand up for our selves so dont let her get the best of you stand your ground !!!!!!!
Posted by: fuzzyree
Posted on: 2005-05-09 09:52:38
I know exactly what your going through ,When i moved in with my boyfriend who is now my husband of 9 years my mother in law tried everything to break us including call all his old girlfriends and telling them to call us .We had our number changed 6 times .I wasreally frustrated to but eventually she gave up and gave me a chance.At the end of her life i was the one who took care of her .We became the closest friends .Now his stepfather was a different story .I am very outspoken and have a very bad temper and he brought my husband up to think what he said goes.Now hes grown and my husband still wont stand up to him .He hates me and when he says hurtful things to and about me my husband will not take up for me i do it myself.It hurts knowing that my husband wont take up for me when it comes to that man .My husband just says let it go ,ignore him but my personality wont let me do it and it causes alot of problems between us .He even cheated my husband out of 25,000 when his mom died and he didnt stand up to him again ...so honey i know your pain ...all us wives have to stand up for our selves so dont let her get the best of you stand your ground !!!!!!!
Thank you
Posted by: landey
Posted on: 2005-05-10 00:20:34
Hi everyone. Thanks for your comments. I have to chuckle sometimes. You are right, it is the husband's responsibility to stand up to his mother. It is so nice to hear...well you know what I mean... other people have trouble with inlaws. Sometimes the incidents are funny sometimes they are just down right nasty. For the last...almost 10 years my monster in law has been dieing of something....we were never sure what...but she was 'dieing'of disease X (according to her) so my husband was too afraid to stand up to her because he didn't want to be cruel to an 80 year old woman. The only thing that I can say for sure is that as she gets older she gets crankier!! I guess the worst of it happened this past summer. My mother was dieing of cancer. She was 71 and it was definately going to be her last birthday. My monster in law's birthday (her 80th) was not for another six months. On my mother's birthday my monster in law ended up phoning my mother to 'invite' her to her upcoming 80th birthday party and stated, 'well only a few of us ever make it to 80 so you can see it's an important birthday'. It's hard for me to write or describe how my mother took it, but needless to say that my mother looked at herself; no hair, surgically altered, no longer in control of her bodily functions and just broke down. My monster in law was deliberately cruel and she meant to be cruel. She knew that my mother in her state couldn't even leave the house let alone go to a birthday party. She also knew that my mother wanted desperately to live and even after her horrible cancer treatments was only given a few months. My monster in law is actually quite vicious. I will say, after she pulled this stunt, my husband told her not to disturb my mother any more and believe it or not, she actually listened to him. When my mother died, Christmas Eve, she didn't even phone me or send flowers to the funeral home or show up for the funeral. Instead a few months later, she took inventory of the family and said, well it looks as though your children only have one nanna now and it's me. How long has it been since your mother died? Needless to say this past mother's day I DID NOT send her flowers!
Posted by: landey
Posted on: 2005-05-10 00:20:34
Hi everyone. Thanks for your comments. I have to chuckle sometimes. You are right, it is the husband's responsibility to stand up to his mother. It is so nice to hear...well you know what I mean... other people have trouble with inlaws. Sometimes the incidents are funny sometimes they are just down right nasty. For the last...almost 10 years my monster in law has been dieing of something....we were never sure what...but she was 'dieing'of disease X (according to her) so my husband was too afraid to stand up to her because he didn't want to be cruel to an 80 year old woman. The only thing that I can say for sure is that as she gets older she gets crankier!! I guess the worst of it happened this past summer. My mother was dieing of cancer. She was 71 and it was definately going to be her last birthday. My monster in law's birthday (her 80th) was not for another six months. On my mother's birthday my monster in law ended up phoning my mother to 'invite' her to her upcoming 80th birthday party and stated, 'well only a few of us ever make it to 80 so you can see it's an important birthday'. It's hard for me to write or describe how my mother took it, but needless to say that my mother looked at herself; no hair, surgically altered, no longer in control of her bodily functions and just broke down. My monster in law was deliberately cruel and she meant to be cruel. She knew that my mother in her state couldn't even leave the house let alone go to a birthday party. She also knew that my mother wanted desperately to live and even after her horrible cancer treatments was only given a few months. My monster in law is actually quite vicious. I will say, after she pulled this stunt, my husband told her not to disturb my mother any more and believe it or not, she actually listened to him. When my mother died, Christmas Eve, she didn't even phone me or send flowers to the funeral home or show up for the funeral. Instead a few months later, she took inventory of the family and said, well it looks as though your children only have one nanna now and it's me. How long has it been since your mother died? Needless to say this past mother's day I DID NOT send her flowers!
Mama's Boy!!
Posted by: moomizz
Posted on: 2005-05-08 14:02:03
Sounds like this guy Steve is a real mama's boy or a real wimp. Otherwise why won't he tell his mother (in no uncertain terms) "My wife is the queen in this house and you have to respect her in our home!" Sure Tara can speak for herself, but it's Steve's mom so he needs to set his mom straight.
I imagine that his revelation is about infidelity or something. So Tara has to deal with a MIL nightmare and infidelity? That's tough.
Posted by: moomizz
Posted on: 2005-05-08 14:02:03
Sounds like this guy Steve is a real mama's boy or a real wimp. Otherwise why won't he tell his mother (in no uncertain terms) "My wife is the queen in this house and you have to respect her in our home!" Sure Tara can speak for herself, but it's Steve's mom so he needs to set his mom straight.
I imagine that his revelation is about infidelity or something. So Tara has to deal with a MIL nightmare and infidelity? That's tough.
mother in law problems also
Posted by: farm31ange
Posted on: 2005-05-08 14:38:46
Boy do I know how everyone feels. I have had this problem since my mother in law moved down the street. It has gotten so bad that my husband for the second weekend in a row is staying down there with her in his grandfathers house. I have two step children with him and my three children are grown and having kids of there own. They are not allowed to visit me or talk to me because they will get in trouble. She keeps her blinds open and has neighbors watching me to say everything that I am doing. I told them get a detective I have nothing to hide. I finally stuck up for myself and my husband sided with her. There is so many problems going on with my marriage besides her but he never sticks up for me at all. If he says anything to his mother then he is being disrespectful to her is what she says.
Posted by: farm31ange
Posted on: 2005-05-08 14:38:46
Boy do I know how everyone feels. I have had this problem since my mother in law moved down the street. It has gotten so bad that my husband for the second weekend in a row is staying down there with her in his grandfathers house. I have two step children with him and my three children are grown and having kids of there own. They are not allowed to visit me or talk to me because they will get in trouble. She keeps her blinds open and has neighbors watching me to say everything that I am doing. I told them get a detective I have nothing to hide. I finally stuck up for myself and my husband sided with her. There is so many problems going on with my marriage besides her but he never sticks up for me at all. If he says anything to his mother then he is being disrespectful to her is what she says.
