05/05 Realities of Rehab
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6The person that changed me life..AJ Mclean
Posted by: bsbfan96
Posted on: 2005-04-30 16:07:50
It takes alot of guts to admit your addicted to something not so good! I am a huge backstreet boys fan and I have been for 10 years now... and when the boys annouced that AJ was entering rehab I had no idea why?!?! I just had seen him a couple months before he looked good and healthy and didnt look like he was struggleing with anything! When I found out that he had been enterd I was devistated but happy at the same time, that doesnt make any since but when I did relize that he was struggleing with something and he was getting help he was being the bigger one and at first I was so mad at him cause he was one of the 5 people I looked up to and helped me get through alot but when I did relize he was helping himself I felt so stupid for being so mad at him! Now being 2 and half years sober hes back with ther est of the guys after 4 years and hes better than ever March 29th was the first time I met him down in cleveland OH and AJ yes it was the best day of my life! you mean so much to me and Im so proud of you and I love you so much for what you have done for me! He has made me relize that life is more than just a party and when Im gonna get my next drink so pretty much AJ was my rehab cause he was the one that made me look at myself at 17 and ask my self what the hell I was doing! So not only have you helped me out in alot of ways but you helped me change my life around THANK YOU!!!! I love you and I cant wait to see you and the rest of the boys in New York!!!
Posted by: bsbfan96
Posted on: 2005-04-30 16:07:50
It takes alot of guts to admit your addicted to something not so good! I am a huge backstreet boys fan and I have been for 10 years now... and when the boys annouced that AJ was entering rehab I had no idea why?!?! I just had seen him a couple months before he looked good and healthy and didnt look like he was struggleing with anything! When I found out that he had been enterd I was devistated but happy at the same time, that doesnt make any since but when I did relize that he was struggleing with something and he was getting help he was being the bigger one and at first I was so mad at him cause he was one of the 5 people I looked up to and helped me get through alot but when I did relize he was helping himself I felt so stupid for being so mad at him! Now being 2 and half years sober hes back with ther est of the guys after 4 years and hes better than ever March 29th was the first time I met him down in cleveland OH and AJ yes it was the best day of my life! you mean so much to me and Im so proud of you and I love you so much for what you have done for me! He has made me relize that life is more than just a party and when Im gonna get my next drink so pretty much AJ was my rehab cause he was the one that made me look at myself at 17 and ask my self what the hell I was doing! So not only have you helped me out in alot of ways but you helped me change my life around THANK YOU!!!! I love you and I cant wait to see you and the rest of the boys in New York!!!
It is now crack
Posted by: muffet1
Posted on: 2005-05-01 14:29:02
My husband and I have been married for 14 years this month. We have seperated 4 times due to drugs,money, his partying and once due to having an affair. I am recking letting him back in all times. He used to be just a pot smoker but now it is pot and crack. I told him in November that well I was away he better think of what he is doing cause I don't want to live with him doing this. Well it is now may and last month he spent the rent money and this month it was the grocery money. I try not to give him any money or access to it but there are times when I don't have a choice. I am so tired of babysitting him(43 years old) I have a 15 year old daughter that I now can't feed and we don't even have money to buy our monthly supplies for her or myself. I told him yesterday that he can take over the place we live in now or move. I love him dearly but I believe I am becoming a co-dependant or I should say I am one. I want a better life and to be able to provide for my daughter. I am worried what will happen to him when I leave or he leaves. He is not talking to me about it. I talk he sits there and says nothing. All I know is that I am done but now Ihave no money to move and no access to any. I want out.
Posted by: muffet1
Posted on: 2005-05-01 14:29:02
My husband and I have been married for 14 years this month. We have seperated 4 times due to drugs,money, his partying and once due to having an affair. I am recking letting him back in all times. He used to be just a pot smoker but now it is pot and crack. I told him in November that well I was away he better think of what he is doing cause I don't want to live with him doing this. Well it is now may and last month he spent the rent money and this month it was the grocery money. I try not to give him any money or access to it but there are times when I don't have a choice. I am so tired of babysitting him(43 years old) I have a 15 year old daughter that I now can't feed and we don't even have money to buy our monthly supplies for her or myself. I told him yesterday that he can take over the place we live in now or move. I love him dearly but I believe I am becoming a co-dependant or I should say I am one. I want a better life and to be able to provide for my daughter. I am worried what will happen to him when I leave or he leaves. He is not talking to me about it. I talk he sits there and says nothing. All I know is that I am done but now Ihave no money to move and no access to any. I want out.
JUST PUT DAUGHTER FIRST
Posted by: clg0893
Posted on: 2005-05-02 16:32:35
I think that you are headed in the right direction when you say you really want to leave. Please don't sit back and use money as an excuse because where there's a will, there's a way. You'd probably be better off staying in a women's shelter for a few months, than staying with that loser. He will do much more harm to you and your daughter, if you stay, then living in poverty for a little while. Do you know what I mean? There is help out there for women in your situation, all you have to do is ask. Seriously, ask...don't stop asking people for help until you get out. Like I said, even stay in a shelter if you have to, if you don't have any family to help you. He will really mess up your daughter's head, maybe worse, if you sit back and do nothing. Please just think about your daughter's future, and only her's, and you will know exactly what you need to do. If you want to talk to me, or anyone, just keep leaving messages, until it sinks in that you need to leave. Please. One more thing, if he's using crack, there's probably no hope for him. (At least without taking a few people down with him first.) I've been there, it's a terrible addiction. I would've sold my own mother to get some more, before I fortunately got help. Been there, please ask for help and leave, ASAP.
Posted by: clg0893
Posted on: 2005-05-02 16:32:35
I think that you are headed in the right direction when you say you really want to leave. Please don't sit back and use money as an excuse because where there's a will, there's a way. You'd probably be better off staying in a women's shelter for a few months, than staying with that loser. He will do much more harm to you and your daughter, if you stay, then living in poverty for a little while. Do you know what I mean? There is help out there for women in your situation, all you have to do is ask. Seriously, ask...don't stop asking people for help until you get out. Like I said, even stay in a shelter if you have to, if you don't have any family to help you. He will really mess up your daughter's head, maybe worse, if you sit back and do nothing. Please just think about your daughter's future, and only her's, and you will know exactly what you need to do. If you want to talk to me, or anyone, just keep leaving messages, until it sinks in that you need to leave. Please. One more thing, if he's using crack, there's probably no hope for him. (At least without taking a few people down with him first.) I've been there, it's a terrible addiction. I would've sold my own mother to get some more, before I fortunately got help. Been there, please ask for help and leave, ASAP.
It is now crack
Posted by: leblanc2
Posted on: 2005-05-05 15:03:14
I am replying to the mother who is having problem with her husband. I know what you are coming from I have been there but there is help out there for you and your daughter. I had to say this but abusive house for women will help and also attend and an Alanon meeting with wives dealing with drug and alcoholic husband. They are located in your phone book. It will not be an easy task but it will help to understand what he is doing and also to make you stronger for yourself and your daughter. That is what happen to some of us we stay into that situation for so long we are ending up just like them. Please try to contact Alanon and they will guide you and your daughter to the right path. It did for me.
leblanc2
Posted by: leblanc2
Posted on: 2005-05-05 15:03:14
I am replying to the mother who is having problem with her husband. I know what you are coming from I have been there but there is help out there for you and your daughter. I had to say this but abusive house for women will help and also attend and an Alanon meeting with wives dealing with drug and alcoholic husband. They are located in your phone book. It will not be an easy task but it will help to understand what he is doing and also to make you stronger for yourself and your daughter. That is what happen to some of us we stay into that situation for so long we are ending up just like them. Please try to contact Alanon and they will guide you and your daughter to the right path. It did for me.
leblanc2
Help yourself
Posted by: kelly_79
Posted on: 2005-05-05 18:33:15
You can't do it all by yourself. His sobriety is up to him. All you can take care of is you. You need to set boundaries and stick to what you say. There are places that can help get you through, where you can find support. Find a Nar-anon or co-anon meeting. they are set up to support the families of addicts. There are some in just about every area and if you can't find one there are a bunch on line. There you will find people who understand your problems like nobody else can and you can start back on the path to finding yourself and some serenity.
Posted by: kelly_79
Posted on: 2005-05-05 18:33:15
You can't do it all by yourself. His sobriety is up to him. All you can take care of is you. You need to set boundaries and stick to what you say. There are places that can help get you through, where you can find support. Find a Nar-anon or co-anon meeting. they are set up to support the families of addicts. There are some in just about every area and if you can't find one there are a bunch on line. There you will find people who understand your problems like nobody else can and you can start back on the path to finding yourself and some serenity.
leave
Posted by: bernierabb
Posted on: 2005-05-05 23:58:53
You have 2 choices- leave or stay. I would not subject my child to that. There are shelters out there. Pick up a phone book today. I have been where your husband is and believe me he thinks about drugs all the time. Where he will get the money, when to get his next fix. He has a disease and until he admits it to himself and gets help you are doing him now good. You need to think of yourself and your child. I left and went to a shelter with no money, two children and made it on my own until my husbands got his head straight. If I can do it , so can you.
Posted by: bernierabb
Posted on: 2005-05-05 23:58:53
You have 2 choices- leave or stay. I would not subject my child to that. There are shelters out there. Pick up a phone book today. I have been where your husband is and believe me he thinks about drugs all the time. Where he will get the money, when to get his next fix. He has a disease and until he admits it to himself and gets help you are doing him now good. You need to think of yourself and your child. I left and went to a shelter with no money, two children and made it on my own until my husbands got his head straight. If I can do it , so can you.
Find your smile
Posted by: rb57350
Posted on: 2005-05-06 11:02:04
Get help. Find someone to lead you to the right organization to get you back on your feet. The big thing is to know that it is over and probably has been over for some time. We, as women put up with the bulk of the baggage in these situations. Our friends say to "kick them out", but how do we do that? You have lost yourself in this situation and need to look at it from the outside. Remember your responsiblity is your daughter and yourself. When is he going to hit bottom? When you are living in a car and he is selling everything to get a fix. You are being abused, I have been there. There is help! GOOD LUCK and I hope you find your smile again.
Posted by: rb57350
Posted on: 2005-05-06 11:02:04
Get help. Find someone to lead you to the right organization to get you back on your feet. The big thing is to know that it is over and probably has been over for some time. We, as women put up with the bulk of the baggage in these situations. Our friends say to "kick them out", but how do we do that? You have lost yourself in this situation and need to look at it from the outside. Remember your responsiblity is your daughter and yourself. When is he going to hit bottom? When you are living in a car and he is selling everything to get a fix. You are being abused, I have been there. There is help! GOOD LUCK and I hope you find your smile again.
Let go!
Posted by: 67carebear
Posted on: 2005-05-06 11:02:04
Muffet: Been where you are now! I divorced my husband after 10 years for the same issues...it has been 2 years and let me tell you the wonderful feeling of freedom I have...no hiding money, no more worrying if he will use again or steal or cheat or lose his job. Below is something that helped me and hope it helps you too...
What Addicts Do
I'm an addict. And this is what addicts do. You cannot nor will not change my behavior. You cannot make me treat you better, let alone with any respect. All I care about, all I think about, is my needs and how to go about fulfilling them. You are a tool to me, something to use. When I say I love you I am lying through my teeth, because love is impossible for someone in active addiction. I wouldn't be using if I loved myself, and since I don't, I cannot love you.
My feelings are so pushed down and numbed by my drugs that I could be considered a sociopath. I have no empathy for you or anyone else. It doesn't faze me that I hurt you, leave you hungry, lie to you, cheat on you and steal from you.
My behavior cannot and will not change until I make a decision to stop using/drinking and then follow it up with a plan of action.
And until I make that decision, I will hurt you again and again and again.
Stop being surprised.
I am an addict. And that's what addicts do.
Anonymous.
Posted by: 67carebear
Posted on: 2005-05-06 11:02:04
Muffet: Been where you are now! I divorced my husband after 10 years for the same issues...it has been 2 years and let me tell you the wonderful feeling of freedom I have...no hiding money, no more worrying if he will use again or steal or cheat or lose his job. Below is something that helped me and hope it helps you too...
What Addicts Do
I'm an addict. And this is what addicts do. You cannot nor will not change my behavior. You cannot make me treat you better, let alone with any respect. All I care about, all I think about, is my needs and how to go about fulfilling them. You are a tool to me, something to use. When I say I love you I am lying through my teeth, because love is impossible for someone in active addiction. I wouldn't be using if I loved myself, and since I don't, I cannot love you.
My feelings are so pushed down and numbed by my drugs that I could be considered a sociopath. I have no empathy for you or anyone else. It doesn't faze me that I hurt you, leave you hungry, lie to you, cheat on you and steal from you.
My behavior cannot and will not change until I make a decision to stop using/drinking and then follow it up with a plan of action.
And until I make that decision, I will hurt you again and again and again.
Stop being surprised.
I am an addict. And that's what addicts do.
Anonymous.
respect
Posted by: a_view
Posted on: 2005-05-06 12:42:50
Everyone deserves respect. You cannot expect to ever get any, regardless of whether or not you have been given any by an addict in the present or past, if you do not give it. However, giving someone you care for respect does not always mean that you will be in that person's life. You might consider the thought that you are showing love and respect by being strong enough to walk away and leave the person to make a decision about what their life will be, and letting them know this. You will also be respecting yourself. Many things come from respect, and the actions displaying it can take many forms- but without respect you have nothing- and nothing only comes from nothing.
Posted by: a_view
Posted on: 2005-05-06 12:42:50
Everyone deserves respect. You cannot expect to ever get any, regardless of whether or not you have been given any by an addict in the present or past, if you do not give it. However, giving someone you care for respect does not always mean that you will be in that person's life. You might consider the thought that you are showing love and respect by being strong enough to walk away and leave the person to make a decision about what their life will be, and letting them know this. You will also be respecting yourself. Many things come from respect, and the actions displaying it can take many forms- but without respect you have nothing- and nothing only comes from nothing.
been in your shoes
Posted by: lauriewst
Posted on: 2005-05-08 14:30:59
I have been in your shoes for a long time. My husband and I have been married for 7 yrs this Oct. have been together 8 yrs. He to was addicted to drugs. His drug of choice was cocaine. I have been to hell and back with this man. He has hurt me in so many ways I can't even beging to tell you. I have left and come back many times and felt the way that you do now! We have four children together and I never wanted to take them away from him. The last time that I left him I thought it was for good. I was ready to give up on all of it. Many times we went without because of his drugs. When I went back home again to my family I made a choice to take a call from him. He told me that this time would be different. He told me we would move and he would get clean. I wanted to believe him and trust him once again. I made the choice to give him yet one more chance. Finally it did work. I gave him a choice it was either the kids and I or the drugs. He finally choice us. We moved 850 miles away from where we were and we couldn't be happier. He now has a year clean time. My only advice I can give to you is too keep praying for him. that is what I did with my husband. He has now asked God to come into his life. I will also offer this advice as well. If he does get his act together remember that his selfish ways will not stop overnight. I know that you want out for your sake and for you childs sake. I also know how much you love him and want to help him. However, don't allow that to get in the way of your saftey and your own mental health. Remember that he is sick and when you do leave keep him in your prayers. Maybe in time they will be answered as mine were. If things do get better be strong and don't let him try to pull the wool over your eyes as I know he has done before. Mine did all the time. Keep you head held high and you will make it through this very difficult time. My prayers are with you. God Bless you and your daughter. One last thing I want to say is him not saying anything is his way of feeling very guilty. I have also learned from my situation that if you don't say anything to him at all when he messes up that it has more of an impact that arguing. When I would yell and scream at my husband he just went and used again. It never worked and he has admitted to me that when I didn't say anything at all to him he was more scared/worried because of it.
Posted by: lauriewst
Posted on: 2005-05-08 14:30:59
I have been in your shoes for a long time. My husband and I have been married for 7 yrs this Oct. have been together 8 yrs. He to was addicted to drugs. His drug of choice was cocaine. I have been to hell and back with this man. He has hurt me in so many ways I can't even beging to tell you. I have left and come back many times and felt the way that you do now! We have four children together and I never wanted to take them away from him. The last time that I left him I thought it was for good. I was ready to give up on all of it. Many times we went without because of his drugs. When I went back home again to my family I made a choice to take a call from him. He told me that this time would be different. He told me we would move and he would get clean. I wanted to believe him and trust him once again. I made the choice to give him yet one more chance. Finally it did work. I gave him a choice it was either the kids and I or the drugs. He finally choice us. We moved 850 miles away from where we were and we couldn't be happier. He now has a year clean time. My only advice I can give to you is too keep praying for him. that is what I did with my husband. He has now asked God to come into his life. I will also offer this advice as well. If he does get his act together remember that his selfish ways will not stop overnight. I know that you want out for your sake and for you childs sake. I also know how much you love him and want to help him. However, don't allow that to get in the way of your saftey and your own mental health. Remember that he is sick and when you do leave keep him in your prayers. Maybe in time they will be answered as mine were. If things do get better be strong and don't let him try to pull the wool over your eyes as I know he has done before. Mine did all the time. Keep you head held high and you will make it through this very difficult time. My prayers are with you. God Bless you and your daughter. One last thing I want to say is him not saying anything is his way of feeling very guilty. I have also learned from my situation that if you don't say anything to him at all when he messes up that it has more of an impact that arguing. When I would yell and scream at my husband he just went and used again. It never worked and he has admitted to me that when I didn't say anything at all to him he was more scared/worried because of it.
I am going to whine
Posted by: lillian_v
Posted on: 2005-05-03 06:03:42
Most of these shows - realities of rehab, celebrity drug coming clean thingies, polygamy, etc have already been done on Oprah. Can you do a show about bipolar disorder? - its also been done on Oprah but still...
Posted by: lillian_v
Posted on: 2005-05-03 06:03:42
Most of these shows - realities of rehab, celebrity drug coming clean thingies, polygamy, etc have already been done on Oprah. Can you do a show about bipolar disorder? - its also been done on Oprah but still...
HAs this episode been on?
Posted by: msjameson
Posted on: 2005-05-05 09:32:09
Is this episode airing today..because the website says that the Omarosa one is airing today..but I watched that one yesterday.
Posted by: msjameson
Posted on: 2005-05-05 09:32:09
Is this episode airing today..because the website says that the Omarosa one is airing today..but I watched that one yesterday.
RE: HAs this episode been on?
Posted by: pb6936578
Posted on: 2005-05-05 09:33:36
Yes, it's airing today and you should see it listed on the home page now. :)
Posted by: pb6936578
Posted on: 2005-05-05 09:33:36
Yes, it's airing today and you should see it listed on the home page now. :)
Posted by: schroeder7
Posted on: 2005-05-05 23:49:52
Strange. My station aired the "Omarosa" episode again today. Any idea why?
Doing it for who!?
Posted by: 1yearsober
Posted on: 2005-05-05 09:16:49
HELLO,I am Ian and I am an Alcoholic/Addict,I am at a slight dissadvantage I haven`t seen the show I`ve only read a short piece on the web sight,What I would like to know is just who did he go onto to show for and who exactly did he go into re-hab for?? If you don`t do it for yourself then you`re wasting your time,if this young man doesn`t get out of bed and smell the coffee then he has three options 1st;jail( I`m sure you`ll get on real well with the big lifer who just luuuvs blond teenagers,he`ll no doubt take you under his "wing ")2nd;mental assylum,and believe me when I tell you that doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting different results is insanity,3rd DEATH, if you`re very lucky you`ll go quickly,very lucky indeed!!mostly it`s a slow painfull,degrading,debilitating way to go, I know Ive been there,done`that and got the "T"shirt.This weekend 7/8th May 05 I will have been sober for one year I`ve been more or less "out of it "since I was 17(your age)I will be 50 yrs old in October,do the math that`s 32 years of hell,take your re-hab seriously,take the cotton wool out of your ears and put it in your mouth shut up and listen to a higher power get in touch with AA/NA or somebody FAST.I wish you allthe best for the future and may your god be with you.When I wake up in the mornings now I can say "Good Morning,God!"instead of "Good God!...Morning!.Ian S.
Posted by: 1yearsober
Posted on: 2005-05-05 09:16:49
HELLO,I am Ian and I am an Alcoholic/Addict,I am at a slight dissadvantage I haven`t seen the show I`ve only read a short piece on the web sight,What I would like to know is just who did he go onto to show for and who exactly did he go into re-hab for?? If you don`t do it for yourself then you`re wasting your time,if this young man doesn`t get out of bed and smell the coffee then he has three options 1st;jail( I`m sure you`ll get on real well with the big lifer who just luuuvs blond teenagers,he`ll no doubt take you under his "wing ")2nd;mental assylum,and believe me when I tell you that doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting different results is insanity,3rd DEATH, if you`re very lucky you`ll go quickly,very lucky indeed!!mostly it`s a slow painfull,degrading,debilitating way to go, I know Ive been there,done`that and got the "T"shirt.This weekend 7/8th May 05 I will have been sober for one year I`ve been more or less "out of it "since I was 17(your age)I will be 50 yrs old in October,do the math that`s 32 years of hell,take your re-hab seriously,take the cotton wool out of your ears and put it in your mouth shut up and listen to a higher power get in touch with AA/NA or somebody FAST.I wish you allthe best for the future and may your god be with you.When I wake up in the mornings now I can say "Good Morning,God!"instead of "Good God!...Morning!.Ian S.
grateful alcoholic
Posted by: leblanc2
Posted on: 2005-05-05 15:21:47
My name is Pat and I am an alcoholic. I have been sober going on 14 years now. I am not bragging but it is good to hear and read about other people who has less sobriety becaue it still help me to get through my day. What help me out is meetings lots of it, sponsor very important and higher power in my life today. Even though I have a rough day , I get on my knees and thank my higher power for my day because I did not drink today and I am alive. When I get up I do some reading and meditate before work and pray for my day so I don't need a drink today. It is not an easy program the 12 steps but it does work if you wanted very badly. I saw people going back to drinking a little slip but they do come back and they come back this time for themselves not for the others. You are right it will work if you are willing to change and take care of yourself before taking care of your family. I wasn't in any shape taking care of my 3 boys that is why I lost custody. But today I have the 2 boys in my life with a new husband too. Just need time and patience. Like they say "One day at time" not to worry about tomorrow because it is not here yet.
Today I am a grateful alcoholic because I am alive, enjoying life and very happy inside and out without alcohol before I was thinking of only dying (suicide) and no reason to live. One time I was emotionally, physically and spiritually dead. Today still having problem with emotion, physically fine and spirituality the very best with my higher power.
leblanc2
Posted by: leblanc2
Posted on: 2005-05-05 15:21:47
My name is Pat and I am an alcoholic. I have been sober going on 14 years now. I am not bragging but it is good to hear and read about other people who has less sobriety becaue it still help me to get through my day. What help me out is meetings lots of it, sponsor very important and higher power in my life today. Even though I have a rough day , I get on my knees and thank my higher power for my day because I did not drink today and I am alive. When I get up I do some reading and meditate before work and pray for my day so I don't need a drink today. It is not an easy program the 12 steps but it does work if you wanted very badly. I saw people going back to drinking a little slip but they do come back and they come back this time for themselves not for the others. You are right it will work if you are willing to change and take care of yourself before taking care of your family. I wasn't in any shape taking care of my 3 boys that is why I lost custody. But today I have the 2 boys in my life with a new husband too. Just need time and patience. Like they say "One day at time" not to worry about tomorrow because it is not here yet.
Today I am a grateful alcoholic because I am alive, enjoying life and very happy inside and out without alcohol before I was thinking of only dying (suicide) and no reason to live. One time I was emotionally, physically and spiritually dead. Today still having problem with emotion, physically fine and spirituality the very best with my higher power.
leblanc2
Re:Grateful Alcoholic
Posted by: reilysmom
Posted on: 2005-05-06 00:20:56
First off, congrats to you for your sobriety. Congrats to all you reading this that is and staying sober. I'm replying to this message, honestly cause I'm so tired and didn't want to read anymore of them, so whoever answers me is fine. Not necessarily directed to one specific person. I come from a family of alcoholics. Grandma, Grandpa, and two uncles. My grandma, I never saw drink because she got sober before I was born but my uncles are another story. One of them has been sober off and on for quite sometime now. He knows what he's like when he's sober and he knows that we all get along better when he's sober. He even comments on other alcoholics and how it's stupid and they need to get help. So he knows it all and he's done the 12 steps, sponsor thing, the whole nine yards. However, he can be sober for 2-3 years and then start drinking again. I don't get it??? He knows better!!! He says so himself, yet he does it anyways. I've come to lose almost all my respect for him because I feel it's a copout for him. I just don't get it!!!!!!!!! Now my other uncle has drank since I can remember, but not really that bad until his divorce nearly 7 years ago. Now he doesn't work, doesn't eat....only drinks. He's 6 feet tall and maybe weighs 140lbs. He's absolutely killing himself. The doctors have even told him numerous times that he's not gonna last much longer drinking the way is. He's gone into the hospital 2 maybe 3 time for detox due to having seizures and being admitted for that. But as soon as he gets out and gets home, he pops open another can of beer. I have talked with him, pleaded with him, cryed to him to stop this and get some help. He actually did stop and was good for nearly 3 weeks and then started again and made all kinds of excuses for it. Is there no hope for him??????? He has nearly ruined his pancreas (not sure if spelling is correct) and he's skin and bones. He can't feel his right arm or hand and his back is messed up on the right side too. The doctor told him he didn't have any meat or muscle there to support his shoulder, ligaments, etc. and that's from not eating and all the drinking. What help is there for someone who obviously doesn't want to help themselves?????????
Posted by: reilysmom
Posted on: 2005-05-06 00:20:56
First off, congrats to you for your sobriety. Congrats to all you reading this that is and staying sober. I'm replying to this message, honestly cause I'm so tired and didn't want to read anymore of them, so whoever answers me is fine. Not necessarily directed to one specific person. I come from a family of alcoholics. Grandma, Grandpa, and two uncles. My grandma, I never saw drink because she got sober before I was born but my uncles are another story. One of them has been sober off and on for quite sometime now. He knows what he's like when he's sober and he knows that we all get along better when he's sober. He even comments on other alcoholics and how it's stupid and they need to get help. So he knows it all and he's done the 12 steps, sponsor thing, the whole nine yards. However, he can be sober for 2-3 years and then start drinking again. I don't get it??? He knows better!!! He says so himself, yet he does it anyways. I've come to lose almost all my respect for him because I feel it's a copout for him. I just don't get it!!!!!!!!! Now my other uncle has drank since I can remember, but not really that bad until his divorce nearly 7 years ago. Now he doesn't work, doesn't eat....only drinks. He's 6 feet tall and maybe weighs 140lbs. He's absolutely killing himself. The doctors have even told him numerous times that he's not gonna last much longer drinking the way is. He's gone into the hospital 2 maybe 3 time for detox due to having seizures and being admitted for that. But as soon as he gets out and gets home, he pops open another can of beer. I have talked with him, pleaded with him, cryed to him to stop this and get some help. He actually did stop and was good for nearly 3 weeks and then started again and made all kinds of excuses for it. Is there no hope for him??????? He has nearly ruined his pancreas (not sure if spelling is correct) and he's skin and bones. He can't feel his right arm or hand and his back is messed up on the right side too. The doctor told him he didn't have any meat or muscle there to support his shoulder, ligaments, etc. and that's from not eating and all the drinking. What help is there for someone who obviously doesn't want to help themselves?????????
Reily
Posted by: mischif12
Posted on: 2005-05-06 12:47:46
The reason your Grandfathers doesn't stay soberis because You can't just do the 12 steps. You have to adopt them as a lifestyle. It requires a total change in how you experience life.
There really is no help for some who won't help him/herself. That's where Alanon or CODA can help you confront how You deal with this problem
peace
mischif
Peace
Mischif
Posted by: mischif12
Posted on: 2005-05-06 12:47:46
The reason your Grandfathers doesn't stay soberis because You can't just do the 12 steps. You have to adopt them as a lifestyle. It requires a total change in how you experience life.
There really is no help for some who won't help him/herself. That's where Alanon or CODA can help you confront how You deal with this problem
peace
mischif
Peace
Mischif
Reilysmom
Posted by: bernierabb
Posted on: 2005-05-06 13:46:12
I am a recovering addict/alcoholic. It is very hard for someone who isn't an alcoholic to understand the mind of one who abuses alcohol. First, you have to understand that alcoholics drink- that is what we do. Second, You have to know that some of us must die, so others may live. Also, we all don't get the 12 step program and work it in our lives. We are alcoholics and our minds are put together different then those so called "normal" people. I have friends who have gone back out after 17 years clean and he was just darn lucky he made it back. You have to understand it is a disease that tells us we don't have a disease. For the uncle who can't stay sober more than 3 weeks- maybe he has to hit his own bottom. Some of us have to be practically dead before we ask for help. I was dead on ER table myself. If you want to find out more you could always go to an Al-Anon meeting- they are sweet people there who will help you. You could also go to an open meeting of Alcoholic Anonymous-because you don't have to be an alcoholic to go to those ones. I know it is frustrating, hang in there, try going to a meeting yourself-if just to get the info you need to find out what it is really like for us.
Posted by: bernierabb
Posted on: 2005-05-06 13:46:12
I am a recovering addict/alcoholic. It is very hard for someone who isn't an alcoholic to understand the mind of one who abuses alcohol. First, you have to understand that alcoholics drink- that is what we do. Second, You have to know that some of us must die, so others may live. Also, we all don't get the 12 step program and work it in our lives. We are alcoholics and our minds are put together different then those so called "normal" people. I have friends who have gone back out after 17 years clean and he was just darn lucky he made it back. You have to understand it is a disease that tells us we don't have a disease. For the uncle who can't stay sober more than 3 weeks- maybe he has to hit his own bottom. Some of us have to be practically dead before we ask for help. I was dead on ER table myself. If you want to find out more you could always go to an Al-Anon meeting- they are sweet people there who will help you. You could also go to an open meeting of Alcoholic Anonymous-because you don't have to be an alcoholic to go to those ones. I know it is frustrating, hang in there, try going to a meeting yourself-if just to get the info you need to find out what it is really like for us.
bernierabb
Posted by: reilysmom
Posted on: 2005-05-11 13:21:33
First off, congrats on your recovery. I understand what you're saying, I really do. I guess it's easier for me to understand it coming from a total stranger than it is for me to listen to my uncles. It's like I hold higher standards for them and I hope they can see what they're doing to themselves and the rest of us that care for them. My one uncle, and I know this sounds bad but....I've given up on him. He uses his relapses as excuses. And then blames his entire family for it. So I'm just tired of what he's putting us all through. He can learn for himself and I think, because he's told me so, that he knows better. He chooses to do what he wants. I've been to severl AA meetings with this uncle also. I learned alot, yes. I feel for all of you that have to suffer with this disease. It took me a long time to even accept the fact that it is a disease. I always though it was just a copout. But I learned through these meetings that I was wrong. As far as my other uncle goes...the one who can't stay sober for more than 3 weeks....I feel really really bad for him. He's the sweeteset guy in the world and he'd give anyone the shirt off his back. I think he's just to nieve to see and understand what he's doing to himself. I thought he hit his rock bottom. His roommate killed himself by drinking a whole bottle of vodka and taking a bunch of pills. My uncle found him dead. I think that would be enough of a wake up call for him, but it obviously wasn't. He's gone to the doctor just recently and the doctor told him, either you quit drinking and you start eating, or you'll be dead in 6 months. That's a scary thing to hear. And as soon as he got home, he sat down and popped open a can of beer. So I don't think anyone telling him what he needs to do is going to help. The last time he quit, which was just recently and only for 3 weeks, was because I cried and begged him to stop. Then he told me 3 weeks later he was under too much stress so he had 2 beers and it's just been escalating from there. From 2 beers due to stress to a case for reasons I don't know why. I understand you need to hit your bottom or have some kind of a wake up call, but for him, I think he's had too many rock bottoms and too many wake up calls. I hope and pray that there is still a chance for him, but it's not looking good. Thank-you for your response, I appreciate it. Congrats on your sobriety, I pray for people like you and my uncles all the time.
Posted by: reilysmom
Posted on: 2005-05-11 13:21:33
First off, congrats on your recovery. I understand what you're saying, I really do. I guess it's easier for me to understand it coming from a total stranger than it is for me to listen to my uncles. It's like I hold higher standards for them and I hope they can see what they're doing to themselves and the rest of us that care for them. My one uncle, and I know this sounds bad but....I've given up on him. He uses his relapses as excuses. And then blames his entire family for it. So I'm just tired of what he's putting us all through. He can learn for himself and I think, because he's told me so, that he knows better. He chooses to do what he wants. I've been to severl AA meetings with this uncle also. I learned alot, yes. I feel for all of you that have to suffer with this disease. It took me a long time to even accept the fact that it is a disease. I always though it was just a copout. But I learned through these meetings that I was wrong. As far as my other uncle goes...the one who can't stay sober for more than 3 weeks....I feel really really bad for him. He's the sweeteset guy in the world and he'd give anyone the shirt off his back. I think he's just to nieve to see and understand what he's doing to himself. I thought he hit his rock bottom. His roommate killed himself by drinking a whole bottle of vodka and taking a bunch of pills. My uncle found him dead. I think that would be enough of a wake up call for him, but it obviously wasn't. He's gone to the doctor just recently and the doctor told him, either you quit drinking and you start eating, or you'll be dead in 6 months. That's a scary thing to hear. And as soon as he got home, he sat down and popped open a can of beer. So I don't think anyone telling him what he needs to do is going to help. The last time he quit, which was just recently and only for 3 weeks, was because I cried and begged him to stop. Then he told me 3 weeks later he was under too much stress so he had 2 beers and it's just been escalating from there. From 2 beers due to stress to a case for reasons I don't know why. I understand you need to hit your bottom or have some kind of a wake up call, but for him, I think he's had too many rock bottoms and too many wake up calls. I hope and pray that there is still a chance for him, but it's not looking good. Thank-you for your response, I appreciate it. Congrats on your sobriety, I pray for people like you and my uncles all the time.
