05/11 Mikai Faces His Parents and Dr. Phil

first one
Posted by: joynermama
Posted on: 2005-05-06 16:30:26

I can't believe I am the first one here, where is everybody???? Anyways, I saw a commercial the other day that Kenda sent Mikai a picture of his sister while he was in treatment?!?!?!?!?! OMG what is wrong with this picture???? Is she nuts??? Anyways, I look forward to the "reunion" here that I know we will have. (Well, sort of...LOL)

Joynermama
joynermama
Posted by: golfallday
Posted on: 2005-05-06 23:04:34

Hey thanks for the heads up! I had no idea this board was started, took me a minute to find it but would never have known to look if you hadn't left that message. Maybe more will show up now.

I haven't seen that commercial yet; I sure would like to know what she was thinking. Even in the first show she had alot of 'but this or but that' sounded like denial to me. It must be hard for her to acknowledge he is an abuser and I feel sorry for her. But then when she does stupid stuff like leave the girl alone with Mikai and his brothers, and now send a pic of her, WOW I just have a hard time understanding how she can be so careless.
Golfallday
Posted by: joynermama
Posted on: 2005-05-07 15:43:29

I agree......Hard to believe......And it doesn't seem like he was in treatment for very long either. I guess we will find out what is going on on Wednesday. Hopefully this time Dr. Phil will be more firm??? Just my opinion. We'll see.
no title
Posted by: smokangel
Posted on: 2005-05-07 18:59:26

First of all,it takes alot of guts to go on Dr. Phil and let the world know your son is a child molestor. There's lots of them out there.Were just getting up close and personal with this one.What does a mother do? I'm a mom,YOU PROTECT YOUR BABIES!! With everything you have.I know its her son,but he's grown,her other children are not.I have 4 daughters,I protect them with everything I have.He would not be alloud back in my home around my other children.She can go and visit him elsewhere.PROTECT YOUR BABIES!!!
smokangel
Posted by: joynermama
Posted on: 2005-05-07 19:10:32

Smokangel,

I'm sure it does take a lot of guts to go on the Dr. Phil show like this family did. And I agree that he should not be allowed back in the home. My stepson sexually abused my 2 y.o. son and my 7 y.o. neice and we found out in Nov. 2004 so I know what they are going through. I just cannot say that I agree with a lot of the things that Kenda does. I hope I am wrong about how the show will go, but judging from the last 3 shows I doubt that I am.

Joynermama
Still Haunts Me
Posted by: ajbinmn
Posted on: 2005-05-08 14:30:59

Yes, I too cannot wait for this update show. Mikai's story still haunts me to this day. I sure hope things go well for the entire family. I will continue to pray for all of them.
How old is stepson?
Posted by: aginggal45
Posted on: 2005-05-11 10:56:14

How old was your stepson and how did you find out? I am assuming he was older?
aginggal45
Posted by: joynermama
Posted on: 2005-05-11 12:28:03

Aginggal45,

My stepson was 12 yrs. old at the time. And we caught him in the act. My son was 2 yrs. and 4 months old at the time and we have recently found out that my stepson had been sexually abusing him since right after his first birthday. It went on for over a year in my own house to my baby....I had no idea....

Joynermama
dont blame self
Posted by:
Posted on: 2005-05-11 16:43:49

no matter what dont ever blame yourself because that wont help your babies thank god you found out now rather than later right?? like dr phil said whats done is done its about what your going to do in the future....which i think is what your doing now protecting your babies! keep the faith and stay strong god bless you
dont!
Posted by: pepsi_chic
Posted on: 2005-05-13 09:48:41

do not abandon your 12 year old! what he did was very wrong! does not change the fact that he is your step son!!!!!!

i was molested by a family member when i was a little girl i didnt tell anybody cuz it stoped and i know it wont happen again. so i didn't tell any body not even my mom
so just imagien keeping a seret like that 11 1/2 years!!!! and seeing the 2 people that did it to you every day of them 11 years!

get him help if he doest feel guilty then u can do i dono what but god doesn't want you to dissown someone u love!
u have 2 forgive him, i know it is hard but i had to or it would eat me alive. that is how i dealed with the FACT THAT IT HAPPEND AND YOU CANT CHANGE IT. i know it sounds like i being hard on you but u need to get over this for your baby sake. so your she wont remember. cuz if she does she will have to go to theripy for years and years. but if she doesnt, when she is old enuff to under stand. take her to a theripist and tell her there, its a save controled space. and the theripast will talk to her. but you need to talk to a theripist 1st. like asap.

if you have any questions contack me!

-someone who cares!-
Once a molester always a molester!
Posted by: momma_9653
Posted on: 2005-05-14 15:14:21

Look you are apparently one of those people who think that a child molester can be forgiven. I to was sexually abused as a child. This little girl needs help. No matter her age I guarentee she does remember. I also have a step son and if he ever molested my girls he would never be allowed to step foot back in my home under no circumstances. This little girl while yet young does remember this. It is a tramatic experience that people do remember. And you said about God not wanting her to diown her step son. God didn't tell her step son to molest her daughter. I do agree that her step son needs help serious help! This is not an ok thing. This little girl needs to be able to talk to someone so she knows shes safe and that it will not happen again. Not to just push it under the rug. That to sends a bad message. That as a family when bad things happen then don't talk about them. Which later in life leads to secrecy and non trust in the family. Unfortunatley even as young as this child is she does understand that what happened to her was wrong. I hope the mother has the strength to do what is right by her child.

Posted by: tropicgard
Posted on: 2005-05-15 12:16:01

mamma 9653- You're right on. I worked professionally with emotionally disturbed kids. Many of them had been sexually molested by family members or mommy's boyfriends. I hope Mikai gets help. Maybe at
a relatively young age, he can be helped.
This whole family needs therapy, especially Mom. It almost seems like she is subconsciouly encouraging aberrant behavior.
Under no circumstances should Mikai be let
back into the house. Everyone should be looking out for the youngsters who cannot protect themselves.
We unfortunately have a registered sex offender in our neighborhood. Unbelievably
his parents took in a 15 yr. old foreign exchange student, and "forgot" to tell the
placement agency about the fact that they had a registered sex offender in the house. Fortunately our neighbors alerted the police, and she was removed after the neighbors saw him walking hand in hand at night with her.
Recidivism is very common with sex offenders. I'm inclined to agree that once a sex offender, always one.
how can you know?
Posted by: sparkleb
Posted on: 2005-05-16 19:52:37

I would like to know how you can say that once one is amolester that they are always a molester?! Is that saying that also once an alcoholic always an alcoholic? People can change. Everyone seems to think that any of these molesters need serious help - how much does it take to satisfy all of you who think molesters can not eventually live a normal life. They are marked for life - they have to register as sex offenders FOR LIFE. Does't going through intense therapy for YEARS make any bit of difference? Do you think that molesters cannot ever hope for a "normal" life? If the whole public believes there is no hope for offenders - then how can the offenders ever get enough encouragement and keep hope that some day they will be able to live quietly and a "normal" life! Society has put such a stress on being known publicly for the offenders lifetime what has happened in the past and what the offenders have been treated for with intense therapy, that there is NO WAY a habilitated offender could ever live without being under constant scrutiny. The offender in my life was my own son - the victim - my daughter... I have HOPE that some day there will be peace in their hearts for what has happened in the past. God is the only one who judges - not the public and their sex offender registration.
REPLY TO SPARKLEB
Posted by: pepsi_chic
Posted on: 2005-05-18 10:11:32

I AGRE3E WITH U SOME-WHAT. BUT NOT ALL SEXOFFENDERS WILL CHANGE IN FACT MANY WILL KEEP TRYING AND SOME WILL TRY TO MOVE WITHOUT THE PROPER FORMES. BUT I DO AGREE. I THINK MAKAI IS GOING TO CHANGE FOR THE GOOD. AND I HOPE HIS DAD REGRETS SAYING WHAT HE DID. AND I WILL BE THERE EVERY STEP OF THE WAY!
Reply to sparkle
Posted by: violinmom
Posted on: 2005-05-18 14:25:27

How long have you been dealing with your son as an offender of your daughter? Is he out of the house? Did her serve prison time? How old was he? Is he still a part of the family? Areyou able to have him at family functions? I am going through a similar situation and would love to hear a success story or someone who understands.
what about the victim
Posted by: mom4654984
Posted on: 2005-05-21 19:27:32

why should a child molester even be given the chance to live a normal life? what about the victim--they will never again be able to lead a normal life, remember who the victim is, it is definately not the molester. the child who is abused will never be able to live life normal, they will be scared for life, the victims family, friends and neighbors are scared for life and none of them are able to live a normal life. there is no way that society should allow them to live a normal life--they are a criminal, should a murderer be able to live amongst society in a normal way? molesters are murderers also, they murder a persons self worth, a person right to feel safe, a persons life to live feerless and happy, i am glad that molesters have to register, i would never want to even tempt a molester in my neighborhood with my child---i want to do everthing i can possibly do to protect her. a molester should not be able to live normal, afterall the victims life is never normal.
Amen Sister!!
Posted by: tinab631
Posted on: 2005-06-12 11:40:33

I think the title speaks for it self. You go girl!!
Change a Sexual predator (Can't happen)
Posted by: tinab631
Posted on: 2005-06-12 11:23:21

Yes, sexual offenders are marked for life. Life is about choices. Your son made a choice and now he will forever have to live with it. Sexual offenders don't change. You are only blind by the fact that they do change because the predator was your son. I feel bad for you. I know you are in pain, but you can't control what other people do, even your own flesh and blood. Your daughter needs you. That’s where your focus should be.
Need your professional comments
Posted by: aginggal45
Posted on: 2005-06-02 16:07:30

Because you are a professional, what would you say to siblings 2 years apart in age, and the older sibling (age 10 or 11)initiates inappropriate sexual behaviour with their younger sibling (8 or 9). But coming to the understanding at age 12/13 that this is inappropriate behaviour, stops stops. In addition, 10-11 years have gone by with no mention of this to each other but the older sibling feels disgusted and remorseful. What would you say to this situation and what advice might you offer?
Sexual Predators don't change
Posted by: tinab631
Posted on: 2005-06-12 11:23:21

How can you even think that Mikai will ever change? They don't change. I would really like someone to please tell me of any sexual predator who has changed. It's a known fact of this. However, Dr. Phil made a huge mistake by letting people think that Mikai can get help. That's not possible. Mikai being a sexual predator is as natural to him as breathing is to the rest of us. I just want someone to prove me wrong. That's all.