Relationship Communication Test

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Relationship Communication Test

Circle "True" for all of the statements that express at least occasional problems on your part.

1. I often can't seem to find the right words to express what I want to say. True False
2. I worry that exposing myself to my partner will result in rejection. True False
3. I often don't talk because I'm afraid my opinion is wrong. True False
4. Speaking up will only make things worse. True False
5. I talk too much and don't give my partner a chance to speak. True False
6. I don't look forward to talking to my partner. True False
7. Once I get started in an argument, I have trouble stopping. True False
8. My speech is often defensive. True False
9. I frequently bring up his or her past failures. True False
10. My actions don't match what I say. True False
11. I don't really listen. True False
12. I try to repay anger with anger or insult with insult. True False
13. I tease my mate too much. True False
14. I talk about really important things too rarely. True False
15. I often lie by omission. True False
16. I hate it when my partner brings up a problem. True False
17. I think it's important to lay out to my partner all of the complaints I have about him or her. True False
18. I state my complaints in a heated manner. True False
19. I tend to say, "You always" or "You never," when discussing my complaints with my partner. True False
20. I rarely state my complaints to keep from hurting my spouse. True False
21. I don't like to argue because I feel arguing reflects badly on the relationship. True False
22. I don't like to discuss our negative feelings because it only makes us feel worse. True False
23. I don't feel I should have to bring up what's bothering me because my partner should already know. True False


There is no right or wrong number of true or false answers to this test. You should look over your responses to get a feel for where communication problems or perceptions exist.