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          Surviving Divorce

          May 29, 2003

          When couples divorce, very often the gloves come off and it degrades into an emotional contact sport. There are things you can do to avoid a painful break-up. Dr. Phil teaches you how and gives his number one rule that will help you determine if you’re ready to call it quits.
           
           
          Rhonda
          When Rhonda filed for divorce from her husband of 17 years, her children reacted by lashing out uncontrollably in anger. Rhonda asks, “Dr. Phil, how can I help my children cope with this divorce?”

           

           
          Tara
          After four years of marriage, and “giving it all that I could,” Tara filed for divorce. She says she now finds herself “broker than broke” without a job or a lawyer, trying to support herself and her 3-year-old daughter, far away from family and friends.

           

           

          Rick and Dena
          Part of the marriage vows include the line, ”til death do us part.’ At the rate Rick and Dena are going, their divorce may take that long.
           
           

           
          View the advice Dr. Phil offers his guests.





          Dr. Phil’s Number One Rule Concerning Divorce

          People often ask Dr. Phil, “How do I know if I’m ready to get a divorce?” The number one thing that you have to know is this: The time to get a divorce is when you can walk out the door with no anger, no resentment and no bitterness.

          Now you’re probably saying, “Wait a minute. Isn’t that why you get a divorce?” No. If you’ve still got anger, resentment and bitterness, you’ve still got unfinished business, Dr. Phil says. You should be able to walk out the door saying, “I’ve done everything I can do to resolve this situation. I cannot do it. I accept that. I am moving on with my life.” If you can’t do that, you’ve got too much unfinished emotional business.

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