How to Talk to Your Kids about Sex

December 5, 2012
It’s a topic that makes many parents run for cover, but explaining “the birds and the bees” is a conversation every mom and dad needs to have with their kids. When is the right time, and how do you do it in an age-appropriate way? Dr. Phil and Dr. John Chirban, author of How to Talk with Your Kids about Sex, give the sex talk dos and don’ts.







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John and JulieDeanneDr. John Chirban and DeanneDinaDr. Phil speaking with Dina's 14-year-oldAhna

No Longer Their Little Girl?

John and Julie say it’s too late to have the important talk with their 15-year-old daughter, who they recently discovered is sexually active. What do they do now?

“I am 100 percent convinced she is having sex with a lot of boys.”

John admits that he's gotten so angry about his daughter's exploits that he's slapped her in the face. Dr. Phil concurs that John's reaction was probably not the best one. “Just in my experience, hitting someone in the face tends to dry up the conversation,” he says. He urges them to take a new tact and get plugged in.
 

Dr. Phil tells John and Julie exactly what they need to say to their daughter.


“I Don’t Want Her Making the Same Mistakes I Did”

Deanne says she has no clue how to have the sex talk with her 12-year-old daughter and is terrified of making a mistake. Deanne was a teen mom, and says she doesn’t want the same for her little girl.

Dr. Chirban role-plays "the talk" with Deanne. 

Deanne also confides that when she recently told her 6-year-old where babies come from, the child started crying. Dr. Chirban thinks she may have given too many details. He advises her to give simple answers, keep it age-specific and affirm the child's interest in the topic by saying something like, “I’m really glad you asked me that because it’s important to talk.” 


Desperately Seeking Attention?

Dina says she was shocked when she discovered what her 14-year-old daughter was doing to get attention from the opposite sex. Find out why the teen says she has to use her body to attract boys.

“She went on Facebook and posted a bunch of photos that were very racy.”

The teen opens up about why she dresses provocatively.

“You’re sending a message that I don’t think you’re prepared to live with,” Dr. Phil tells the teen. He urges her to stop defining herself so narrowly and negatively and to be herself; soon she'll have more than enough admirers to choose from.