"I'm Over It!"

June 24, 2014
Pat says her daughter-in-law, Cara, has brainwashed Pat's son, Todd, against her and imposed “stupid” rules about how and when Pat is allowed to be a part of their lives. Cara says Pat refuses to respect boundaries and often undermines her and Todd's parenting choices. Can Dr. Phil help broker a peace? And, Lindsie says since having her two children, she has no desire for sex. How can she and her husband reignite the spark in their relationship? Plus, don’t miss an unforgettable performance by country music star Ronnie Dunn! This program contains strong sexual content. Viewer discretion advised.







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PatCaraTodd, Cara's husband and Pat's sonLindsieCharles, Lindsie's husbandAlessandra Rampolla, clinical sexologistRonnie Dunn


In-Law From Hell?

Pat says her daughter-in-law, Cara, is controlling and has imposed “stupid” rules about how and when Pat is allowed to be a part of their lives. Cara says Pat refuses to respect boundaries and often undermines her and Todd's parenting choices. Pat says she hasn’t seen her grandchildren in three weeks because she broke one of their rules. Can Dr. Phil broker a peace?

“Cara is a bitch, and I wish she had not married my son, Todd.”

Is Pat an invasive in-law or is Cara too controlling? Dr. Phil explains a huge mistake couples often make, when it comes to their parents.

Dr. Phil reviews Cara’s rules, which include: Todd is not allowed to visit Pat without Cara’s permission, Pat is not allowed to buy Todd gifts unless it’s Christmas or his birthday, Pat is not allowed to make doctor appointments for Todd, and Pat is not allowed to show up unannounced — she must make an appointment.
 
In a previous interview, Cara and Todd say Pat doesn’t respect their parenting rules when she cares for their two daughters, such as naptimes and bedtimes.

Pat says she does her best but “Rules are meant to be broken.” She says the couple recently became angry with her when she dropped their girls off at home, and the kids had fallen asleep in her car. “Todd and Cara got furious and told me I couldn’t see them anymore. The last thing Cara said to me was ‘Get out of my damn house.’ I can’t see my grandchildren because I don’t follow Cara’s rules,” she says.

“If my mom doesn’t follow my rules, I’m not going to feel comfortable with her watching my kids,” Todd says.
 
Back onstage, Pat tells Dr. Phil, “I love my grandchildren. I would do anything for them. I don’t do anything that’s horrible ... How do you keep two girls from falling asleep in the car?”

“They’re used to very strict routines with sleep,” Cara says, “and my youngest is dealing with a very bad issue, health-wise, and I just said it affects them because I know that they’re going to be tired … I was upset about it.”

Dr. Phil tells Todd, “I think a big part of the problem between these two is because of you.” Todd agrees.
 
He turns to Cara. “You have the kids, which she obviously loves and adores. Grandmothers are put on this earth to spoil their grandchildren. That doesn’t mean that there aren’t rules that need to be respected. I get that, but mom, get over yourself.”

He tells Pat, “If there are medical needs for these children that need to be respected, you need to respect them 100 out of 100 times.”
 

Dr. Phil gives advice on making peace and fostering healthy family relationships.



When Sex Goes South

Lindsie says her husband, Charles, has a very active sex drive, but she could go the rest of her life without it. She says her libido started to go downhill five years ago, while she was pregnant with her daughter. They now have a second child, age 11 months, and Lindsie says she feels too insecure about her body to be intimate. "Sex is like a burden, because I only do it for Charles," she says. Lindsie continues, "Since my son was born, we have been sleeping in separate beds. Charles asks me over and over, 'Lindsie, do you think tonight we can?' Sometimes, I’ll say 'yes,' and then I’ll pray he falls asleep on the couch."

Charles says he is very sexually frustrated — and admits that he strayed during Lindsie's first pregnancy. "I said, 'I can’t be with someone who can’t give me love and affection,'" he recalls. "She said, 'I'm sorry, I can't give you that.'" He insists that he has tried everything to romance his wife, including flowers and cooking candlelit dinners, but to no avail. "It feels like my manhood and my self-esteem has been stripped away from me," Charles says. "I just don' t know the answer to making her sex drive better."

"I want to have sex, and be happy and want to make Charles happy, but I can’t. It is not in me," Lindsie says.

“You stopped being a wife when you started being a mother.”

Dr. Phil sent clinical sexologist Alessandra Rampolla to Charles and Lindsie’s house to meet the couple and learn more about their sexual issues.

Lindsie reveals to Alessandra that she sleeps with their children in the master bedroom, while Charles sleeps in his daughter’s pink bedroom. She shares that she considers herself a mom and is perfectly content with not having any intimacy with her husband, but she knows it’s not fair to Charles. Lindsie and Charles both say they’re still in love.

Onstage with Dr. Phil, Alessandra says Lindsie is disconnected from her own sexuality and never has any sexual thoughts. “Your libido is never going to be jump-started until you start thinking. It starts in your brain, and then goes down your body,” she says. Alessandra suggests erotic literature to get her mind in the right place. She also notes that Lindsie may not have completely healed from the affair her husband had years ago. “There’s something about the rules, and excuses and justifications that almost seems like there’s a punishment behind the controlling of the sex,” she says.

Can Lindsie and Charles reignite their relationship? And, Dr. Phil has a surprise for them.

Dr. Phil’s studio audience receives a Chime card for $25.  

Ronnie Dunn

Ronnie Dunn spent 20 years as half of the country music duo Brooks and Dunn before stepping out on his own. Following a very successful debut solo album that included two Grammy nominations, he just released his second solo album, Peace, Love and Country Music.

See Ronnie perform his song, “I Wish I Still Smoked Cigarettes.”

Dr. Phil’s studio audience gets a copy of Peace, Love and Country Music.