Dr. Phil tackles common decisions couples face during the roller coaster ride of pregnancy.
“Whenever we go in for an ultrasound, we have them look for a penis,” says Kate, whose search for male genitalia continues even though three ultrasounds have shown she’s having a girl. Kate and her husband, Ken, have two daughters from previous relationships and were looking forward to having a son. Kate thought immediately that it was going to be a boy, and even started to design the nursery in a jungle theme. “I’ve just been really disappointed that we’re having a girl,” says Kate. “I just really wanted a son.”
Ken has adjusted to the idea of another daughter, but says his wife has not. “My wife needs to move on,” says Ken. “It’s going to take holding the baby in front of her and say, ‘See? It’s a girl.'”
Kate says that although she’s been told three times that she’s having a girl, she still crosses her fingers, hoping they’re wrong.
“I believe there are no accidents,” says Dr. Phil. “If you’re having a girl, and it seems like you are, that is not only the sex you’re supposed to have, but that is the exact precise one that you’re supposed to have. And what you need to do is decide to not question that, but focus on the fact that this is an amazing gift from God, and hope and pray the baby is healthy and robust and well. And I can promise you, from the absolute core of my soul, that the split second you see that little girl, you will know beyond all doubt that was exactly the little girl they were supposed to turn around and lay on your stomach.”
“I worry I might compare them,” admits Kate. “I think my daughters are the cutest, most beautiful things in the world…”
“Well, I can tell you from personal experience — we have two boys and they’re both the cutest, neatest, most wonderful kids in the world, so yours can’t be because I’ve already got them,” jokes Dr. Phil, who explains that she’ll draw love for all her children from different accounts, so it’s possible to love them all the same amount. “If I could push a button right this second, to change that girl into a boy, I wouldn’t do it and neither should you. Don’t question this. Just accept it,” says Dr Phil.
Kate agrees she will.
“And you might as well do it now because you’ll do it the split second they lay her on your stomach,” advises Dr. Phil. “It will happen, trust me. And you will wonder so much how you ever sat around and said, ‘I wish she were a boy.'”