As a parent, you are bombarded with dangers your kids can fall prey to like molesters, cyber-stalkers, drugs and bullies. But how far should you go to ensure your child's protection? Where do you draw the line between hovering over your children, and giving them enough freedom to learn independence? Dr. Phil drills down on this hot topic with moms on both sides of the issue.
More Moms Weigh In
"I was reading this book about helicoptery parents " parents who hover too much " and those kinds of parents would flip out right now that she just did that," says Daphne, pointing to her toddler daughter who is playing inside a box. "But you know what? Sometimes you get into a box you found in an alley, and you fall down, and things happen."
Daphne shares her message for moms. "Kids get sick, and kids fall down, and they get germs, and we all have to deal with it," she says. "There was really something to be said for how my mom parented, which was opening up the door in the summer and saying, â€˜Get out. Come back when it's dark.'"
In Dr. Phil's studio, Daphne explains that helicopter moms need to lighten up. "As soon as you're a mom, it's inherent; you're a neurotic and anxious nightmare, and you always have to fight it," she says. She remembers the first time she took her daughter for shots, she was crying as much as her child. "Something flipped in me, and I was like, â€˜Hey, I'm the mom, and I need to sack up here,'" she says.
"The way children learn to believe in themselves and to have confidence is they watch themselves, just like they were sitting back watching another person," Dr. Phil says. "Children need to learn that, â€˜Hey, Mom and Dad went away, and what do you know? They came back, and I was OK while they were gone." He asks his previous guest, Maria, what message she may be sending her 17-year-old daughter, Madeline, by being so overprotective.
"She's not a bumbling idiot," Maria says.
"You don't want them to be OK in spite of you," Dr. Phil says. "You want her to be OK because of you."
"I know. You're right," Maria says.