Dr. Phil mentions that the couple has ruled out any medical dilemmas for their son’s inability to potty train. “Is there any doubt in your mind that this is any thing other than a power struggle?” he asks. “This is a power struggle, and you’re getting your butts whipped. This is something he controls.”

 

Dr. Phil announces the big mistake that Julie and Nathan don’t know they’re making. “You have failed to discover his true currency,” he says. "Everyone has something he or she values. When you’re in a power struggle with a child, you want to appeal to their greed. With children and teenagers, greed is a good thing to know. What is in this for him? You need to figure out what that is, and it’s something positive.”

 

Dr. Phil explains the Premack Principle: Children will perform an undesirable act in order to have access to a more desirable behavior. “That’s why children will do their homework, so they get to watch The Simpsons,” he points out. “You’ve got to make sure that he knows that you love him unconditionally, so don’t withhold love and support.”

 

“No, we don’t,” Julie says.

 

“It’s all about finding the currency. When you find it, and you will, this will be over in a day,” Dr. Phil assures the couple.