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Affair Repair

If you discovered that your spouse was unfaithful, would you stay in the marriage or end it?

A Similar Scenario


 
Dr. Phil introduces Anne Bercht, author of My Husband's Affair Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me, and her husband, Brian.
 
"I know exactly how Rochelle feels, and I know that pain, because I was there," Anne tells Dr. Phil.
 
"Why do you say it's the best thing that ever happened to you, and why is this situation different?" he asks.
 
"After something so big happens like that in your life, you're either going to be bitter or you're going to be better," Anne replies. "Initially, I reacted to Brian's affair in a similar way to Rochelle in that I went into what I call the obsessive, save-the-marriage-at-all-cost mode, thinking it was all about me. Somewhere during that journey, it hit me one day that I am not in control of Brian's actions. His affair and his actions were not my fault."
 
Anne explains how she overcame Brian's affair.
 
Dr. Phil turns to Brian. "You've been listening to what Matt is saying here," he says. "As somebody who's been through this, what do you think?"
 
"I don't think he's trustworthy, at the moment, because trust is something that's a proven behavior over time," Brian replies. He addresses Matt. "You need to change some of the behaviors. As Dr. Phil says, all contact [with the other woman] has to be broken. That's fundamentally the most important thing that you need to do. If you need to find support to do that, to help you, you need to get that."
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