Dr. Phil introduces Jenni Schaefer, author and ambassador for National Eating Disorders Association. She once struggled with anorexia and bulimia herself. Her book is Goodbye Ed, Hello Me.

“You actually started struggling with this at age 4?” Dr. Phil asks her.

“Yes. I distinctly remember at age 4, being in dance class, and worrying about my size and feeling like I wasn’t good enough, compared to the other girls,” she says. “Looking back, there wasn’t any photographic evidence that I wasn’t anything but a normal size.”

“This girl is on a slippery slope right now, true?”

“Absolutely. She needs desperate help now, and from people who know eating disorders,” Jenni says. She acknowledges Don and Wendy for reaching out for help while Jessica is still young. “I did not get help until I was 22.”

“This is something from which she can recover,” Dr. Phil tells the couple. “And a lot of the damage she may be doing to herself at this point is reversible. But not all of it. And if there is brain involvement from malnourishment, then that doesn’t always regenerate, that doesn’t always come back, so this early intervention is very, very important. From everything that I see and hear, you’re ahead of that curve right now, but how long that’s going to last, wow, that’s a big question.”

Dr. Phil says he understands they don’t want to upset their daughter for fear of her having a heart attack. “You also understand if you don’t do something to disrupt this cycle, her life hangs in the balance here … The first thing that has to happen is the two of you have to get on the same strategy, the same coping strategy here. And risks as they may be, you cannot continue to allow a 12-year-old to dictate your lives, you cannot allow a 12-year-old with this eating disorder to set the agenda in your home,” Dr. Phil says. “Crisis is often a change agent. If you create a crisis, it brings things into sharp focus, and that’s what creates change. But if you continue, you are making it possible for her to practice this disorder, and you have to be willing to stop that.”

Because Don and Wendy recently lost their health insurance, Jenni is going to help provide a medical team for their daughter. Amy Tuttle is the director, nutrition therapist, and care coordinator at Valley Green Counseling in Philadelphia, which specializes in eating disorders. She will work with Jessica in a dietician role. Dr. Janice Hillman from the University of Pennsylvania Health System will offer medical services, and help them apply for emergency medical insurance.

Don wipes away his tears. The couple agrees to stop enabling their daughter so they don’t sabotage her progress.