April 24, 2017
Cindi admits that she has been filled with rage since learning that her two young daughters were sexually abused by her father. She says anger and guilt have consumed her, driving a wedge between her and her daughters and almost destroying her marriage. She says she reached out to Dr. Phil for help because she doesn’t know how to stop raging and move forward with her life.
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In the video above, Dr. Phil offers Cindi – and anyone who needs help overcoming a traumatic event – advice for how to move forward.
“You cannot let this guy dominate your life from behind bars. You’ve got to take your power back,” he tells Cindi. “When you hate somebody or have bitterness toward them, you’re locked in this bond … The only way you’re ever going to get past this is if you decide to let it go.”
WATCH: Sisters Say Mom Is ‘Obsessed’ With Reliving Trauma And Won’t Let Go Of The Past
Dr. Phil tells the mom that she has unfinished emotional business with her father and the way to get rid of that is with what he calls MER – minimal effective response. “You find the minimal effective response that will get you where you won’t have to deal with him anymore,” he explains.
For some people, the MER might be to write a letter. For some, they may need to write a letter and mail it. And for others, they may need to confront the person.
“When you have no more unfinished emotional business, then you’ll begin to turn this in the right direction,” Dr. Phil concludes.
This episode of Dr. Phil airs Monday. Check here to see where you can watch.
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