Zip Code:
  
Provider Type:
Provider:
        Listings:
          VIDEO

          Why These Parents Say They Feel Forced To Enable Their Son’s ‘Violent Behavior’

          March 14, 2016

          Julie and Paul say their 22-year-old son, Brandon, is a “handsome, charismatic, devil problem child” who they claim is verbally and, at times, physically abusive to them and their other children.

          “We live in hell and misery,” Julie says.

          “Over the last four years, we’ve called the police at least nine times. He’s been arrested for punching her, choking her, hitting her, pushing her down,” Paul adds of his son’s behavior toward Julie.

          In an audio recording, played on Tuesday’s Dr. Phil, Brandon can be heard telling his mother he wants to break her bones and calls her a “stupid, fat, ignorant bitch.”

          Brandon admits he has problems with his temper, but says his parents make it worse by provoking him, verbally abusing him and not being supportive.

          “I have anger and resentment towards my parents,” Brandon says, explaining that some of his anger toward his parents stems from the fact they sent him away to an “outdoor therapeutic program” from the time he was 15 until he was 18, which Brandon says caused him to miss “the best years of my life.”

          “My main problem with my parents is being able to talk to them without getting into a huge blow up," he adds. "My dad antagonizes me. He knows how to get under my skin can really provoke me.”

          Paul acknowledges he can be verbally abusive toward his son. 

          “I snap,” his father says. “I get unglued.”

          Julie and Paul – who also have three other children – continue to allow Brandon in their home and allow him to be a part of their lives, because they say they fear what would happen if they cut him off.

          “We suffer the misery because we can’t live with ourselves if he killed himself,” Julie says, noting that they believe their son has mental and neurological problems.

          Brandon’s mental and neurological issues aside, Dr. Phil takes the parents to task for enabling their son’s behavior.

          “There is a fundamental thing that I believe about human nature – you do not reward bad behavior,” Dr. Phil adds.

          “What we think we’re doing is keeping him alive,” Julie says.

          Watch the video above as Dr. Phil poses a very serious question to – and shares a warning with – Paul and Julie.


          Related:
        • Quiz: Are You an Enabler?
        • Dealing with a Violent Child
        • Strategies for Effective Parenting
        • Quiz: Are You a Permissive Parent?
        • Share This Video: